http://www.uwgb.edu/4e/2006/04/27/042706opinionThrowDown.asp
Editorial
Scientology is whack

Fourth Estate (University of Wisconsin - Green Bay)
27.4.2006

BY MELISSA TUOMI

Seventy-five million years ago, aliens invaded earth, and some were left
behind only to cling to human bodies. Humans only had one chance at
survival— Scientology.

No, this is not the setting of another Tom Cruise action thriller, but I
would pay to see it played out on the big screen. This is the true
foundation that Scientology was built upon.

Scientology is a psychiatristhating, vitamin-hugging and
world-domination-planning cult that labels itself a church so it can use
the First Amendment to protect its psychosis. Tom Cruise is the poster
child of Scientology.

I’ve seen all of Cruise’s crazy rain man-like rants on television and
spent hours tooling the Internet searching the Scientology Web site.

In doing so, I’ve stumbled upon some material that looks more like
science fiction than “Minority Report” or “Vanilla Sky.” I even found a
Scientology center down the street from me.

Cruise signed a waiver/contract into a brainwashing cult that conceals
the truth behind its propaganda. Scientology is based in blind faith. It
intentionally keeps its members in the dark.

Members are forbidden to read materials criticizing Scientology and are
banned from reading advanced literature within the church. They made up
some crazy “you’ll go to space-hell if you do” line.

Cruise is the “Top Gun” of spiritual knowledge within this cult of
self-proclaimed supreme beings. I guess this means he knows the secret
to life or pregnancy or something.

It irked me to hear Cruise mocking Brooke Shields for taking
anti-depression drugs on the “Today Show.” Maybe there are too many
drugs being dealt, but that is not advice I am going to take from an
actor. I say stick to your day job pretending to be someone of
importance.

Scientology teaches that psychiatrists are overprescribing.

That’s fine, but he believes they are behind international terrorism—
literally. I think he and Bush should pair up and fight the war on
terror together.

Scientologists have an usagainst- the-world attitude.

Journalists are depicted as depraved and out to spread lies to bring
down Scientology.

What I found is that the definitions of truth and lies are different in
Scientology than how we dimwitted non-Scientologists would interpret
them. What is good for Scientology is considered truth and any
criticisms equal lies.

Maverick, eject, eject, eject! I guess this also means it is good and
true to deny human life.

If you are a Sea Org or elite within Scientology, having a child is
gravely looked down upon—taking care of children leaves less time for
work. Babies are not something to have but are to be prevented. Abortion
and adoptions are not forced, but they are pressed.

Members are expected to put the good of Scientology ahead of their
families. They may only get to see their children for an hour or less a
day. The children are raised in nurseries run by Scientologists.

What are the chances of a normal childhood? Mission Impossible.
Cruise—of course—is exceptional and is allocated special privileges
because he is famous and brings in a large amount of money. He can have
children, wives that make noise during labor and slaves. Yes, I said
slaves. Scientologists even have slaves, and they built Cruise a gym.

A couple months ago when I saw Tom jumping on Oprah’s couch, I remember
thinking, “That guy has to be on something.” Now I know—vitamins. All
you need in life to find happiness is Scientology, wealth, fame and
vitamins.

I have heard Cruise speak of a miracle cocktail of vitamins and auditing
(the process of becoming clear, done by exposing any harmful experiences
or memories that cause you to have negative feeling) is a cure for the
common cold.

I guess the church of Scientology has accomplished what modernday
medicine could not. It is only a matter of time before it takes over the
world—or at least that is its plan.

Holmes’ involvement with Cruise is “Risky Business.” I reluctantly
welcome their new baby girl who came into the world April 18, the same
day as Brooke Shield’s baby. Isn’t that ironic?

I wonder what the gossip on the playground will be like. Good idea for a
movie—“Born on the 18th of April”—two children raised in very different
homes fighting for the right of recess and Flintstones vitamins.

The world may never know.