On the site now:

Reviews of both War of the Worldses: The British version that’s a strict adaptation of the book, and the Tom Cruise version that’s, well, not.

And a review of Pooh’s Heffalump Movie. That Eeyore really has an attitude problem.

And more stuff coming soon. I’m workin’ on it, man, I’m workin’ on it!

Thanks for coming to the site.

Joe Crowe

RevolutionSF.com

“Land of the Dead” review is up, and so are brand-new and playable contests. And a chunk of new letters are in Subspace.

But for the big news, I’ll turn it over to RevSF Fiction Editor Jayme Blaschke:

Call the neighbors and wake the kids! The fine, fine stories we publish on RevolutionSF garnered an eye-popping FIVE honorable mentions from Gardner Dozois in the 22nd annual edition of "The Year's Best Science Fiction," just out now from St. Martin's. 

If you've been reading our stuff in 2004 (and of course you are--you have discriminating tastes) you'll probably already have a good idea of which stories got the nod, but just in case you got all wrapped up reading Ron Moore's blog over on the SciFi Channel page and missed a few, here they are in all their glory:

Steve Utley for "Little Whalers", K.D. Wentworth for "Blessed Assurance," Danith McPherson for "The Forever Cup at Bitsy's Cafe" and Lou Antonelli, who got all greedy on us and nabbed two nods for "Pen Pal" and "The Rocket-Powered Cat."

In his yearly summation, Gardner had these kind words to say:

"There are also lots of sites that feature mostly slipstream and soft horror, among the best of which are RevolutionSF, which--although not always of reliable professional quality--did feature interesting stuff this year from Steve Utley, Lou Antonelli, Danith McPherson and others."

So, the question now becomes "Which of the following stories slated for July publication will bring home the brass ring come 2006?" I have my suspicions, including one that may well break through to earn honest-to-gosh "Best-of" reprint status, but I'll let you good people judge for yourselves.

Fiction at RevolutionSF in July will include:

July 8

"The Magi" by S.E. Wallace **Original Fiction**

"A House-Boat on the Styx" Chapter 8 by John Kendrick Bangs

July 15

"The Fate of Pol Krage" by John Garrison **Original Fiction**

"A House-Boat on the Styx" Chapter 9 by John Kendrick Bangs

July 22

"Leonardo's Hands" by Steven Gould and Rory Harper **Original Fiction**

"A House-Boat on the Styx" Chapter 10 by John Kendrick Bangs

July 29

"Dialogue" by Lou Antonelli **Original Fiction**

"A House-Boat on the Styx" Chapter 11 by John Kendrick Bangs

Thanks very much for reading RevolutionSF!

Joe Crowe

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In which I watch nearly everything ever done about the Fantastic Four over the course of 48 hours.

My FANTASTIC FOUR movie review is up.

And so is my review of the in-famous 1994 FANTASTIC FOUR unreleased movie.

And once I recover, I’ll post my review of the new DVD of Fantastic Four cartoons.

Meanwhile, we have reviews of DARK WATER, and a Disney movie with the incredibly good title, THE ADVENTURES OF BULLWHIP GRIFFIN.

We also had a guy go to a screening of “Serenity.” He kind of dug it.

And lastly, my thanks to the attendees of last week’s Jayme Blaschke appearance at Apollocon. I asked in this newsletter that any such attending people should find Mr. Blaschke at one of his appearances and tell him that Joe Crowe wants his Tears for Fears record back.

And lo and behold, not long afterward, the stylings of Mr. Roland Orzabol and Mr. Curt Smith appeared in my mailbox.

With a lovely note asking me to kindly call off my convention goon squad.

Consider it done.

At least, until Jayme’s next appearance at Conestoga in Tulsa, Oklahoma on July 15-17. (more information at www.sftulsa.org)

And he’ll be on the I- Sci-Fi radio show this Thursday night, July 14, from 8 to 10 Central time:

www.i-sci-fi.com

As soon as any of the rest of us do something, we’ll let you know about that, too.

Thanks for coming to RevolutionSF.com.

Sowing the seeds of love,

Joe Crowe

www.RevolutionSF.com

I don’t know if any of you have heard of this book called “Harry Potter,” but a few people are into it, and we’d like to give it some exposure.

So we read it, and our review is on the site.

And it contains no spoilerage about anything spoiler-related. So you can read it free of worry and stress.

But the book itself WILL contain spoilers, so be warned. If you don’t want to know what happens in the book, you should not read the book.

For funsies, here are some bonus Star Wars Prequel Sci-Ku from rtjhnsn1.

Young Jedi practiced

In mirror: “I’m grown, Padme.

Want some Jedi-luv?”

“I love you, Padme!”

“Not Padme, you stupid tool,

Queen Amidala!”

This time, 2 films suck

And third improves. Where’d we get

Evil Mirror George?

Sabers clash. Heads roll.

Severed limbs accumulate.

Lucas has fetish.

Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon,

Shmi, Ani, Watto, Jar Jar

Who invents this crap?

Obi-Wan: “Oh, Please!

Don’t jump in that lava-patch!”

(Works every damn time.)

Thanks for coming to RevolutionSF. More stuff coming soon.

Joe Crowe

subspace@...

www.RevolutionSF.com

New and new-ish on RevolutionSF:

REVSF’S FALL AND WINTER MOVIE PREVIEW

We’ll always love you, sci-fi! Even in the summer. Plus, check out that screen grab from “Brothers Grimm.” We love you, Matt!!!!!!!!!

SKELETON KEY and SKY HIGH

This week, a special on movies beginning with “SK”!

FIVE STAR STORIES

Anime that doesn’t begin with “SK,” but we reviewed it anyway.

New in REVOLUTIONSF NEWS: Zorro, Highlander, and King Kong. And other things, soon. This time I promise! (If you want cut and pasted sci-fi news, every other site has that for you. For my thing that I do, I gotta feel the energy. Or, I just have to drink a lot of sweetened tea. Aspartame is my buddy!)

Remember to join the all-new non-busted, un-spammed RevolutionSF boards! Eventually, I’ll e-mail everyone from there. It’s some kind of new-fangledy thing. But in the meantime, join the boards anyway.

Thank you very much for coming to RevolutionSF. For making it this far in the newsletter, you deserve a bonus Funny List from the un-posted RevSF archives.

Absolute Worst Features of the New Edition of Dungeons and Dragons:

7. It's 10 times easier to sucker the DM with some crappy little known loophole! (dschnei1@...
6. New "Wuss" charachter class with +3 bonuses to whimpering, cowering, and screaming. (khrystian@...)

5. New Magic User spell - "Bigby's Middle Finger" (fuddhouz@...)

4. New "compulsory tequila shot" rule. (ciaran_conliffe@...)

3. Did they really have to include nude pics of Lord Soth? (dirtybrd34@...)

2. The players. (se7en.of.nine@...)
1. THAC0 now stands for Thieves Hurl After Consuming Opossum. (bessellieu@...)

We have new things on RevolutionSF. So new, that you might not have even seen them yet.

BAKER’S DOZEN with CHRIS ROBERSON: An interview with a writer whom I once argued with about the speed in which we could remove our clothes.

The sordid tale of our panel together is right here:

http://www.revolutionsf.com/article.html?id=1308

HERE, THERE, AND EVERYWHERE:

A review of Roberson’s book. It’s got a woman who time travels. You’ll like it.

OLD MAN’S WAR

A review of John Scalzi’s Heinlein-esque novel.

A couple of news stories are new. New contests are coming up soon.  Have you signed up on RevolutionSF’s non-busted forums yet? It costs you not a thing, and it doesn’t take long. And if you want to win stuff – which we know you do – then we humbly axe that you sign up.

BE BEMUSED AT REVOLUTIONSF IN PERSON:

ArmadilloCon 27 is this weekend. Once again, RevolutionSF staffers infest it to the very core.

Some appearances include:

Friday: Contributing editor Rick Klaw in the Writer’s Workshop.

Star Wars: Now That The Films Are Over, What Is There Left To Talk About? (with Mark Finn)

Developments in Space Opera (with fiction editor Jayme Blaschke and the above-mentioned Chris Roberson).

Saturday: Klaw interviews editor guest of honor Charles Minz

When and How Will the 21^st Century Get More Interesting? (with Chris Nakashima-Brown)

Stump the Panel: Make Up an SF use for a Random Object (with contributor Mikal Trimm)

Klaw, and Finn in “Robert E. Howard: The Original Texas SF Superstar”

Sunday
Monkeys vs. Dinosaurs: Who’d Win?: Finn and Klaw again, this time with the above-mentioned Mr. Roberson.

That’s just the schedule that I have in front of me. There are certainly a bo-zillion other things to do there. Those are just what I noticed in a “first pass” on the “grid.” (In the biblical sense.)

Of course, you know what this means: Points for the RevolutionSF Sci-Fi Convention Scavenger Quest!

http://www.revolutionsf.com/article.html?id=2739

And be sure to tell Jayme, Mark, or Rick that Joe Crowe wants his Duran Duran albums back.

For more information, visit www.armadillocon.org

Labor Day weekend, most of the rest of us, i.e. Joe Crowe, Shane Ivey, and Kevin Pezzano will be at Dragon*Con in Atlanta.

And with that, I bid thee adieu. Thanks for coming to RevolutionSF.

Joe Crowe

subspace@...

Hey, does anybody want to update their bios on our WTF page? Here’s what’s up there now. None of them are outdated as far as I know, but it might be good to keep ‘em fresh. So to speak. Plus, everyone can put links to their blogs and other such in there now.

Jayme Blaschke (Fiction Editor): Jayme Lynn Blaschke graduated from Texas A&M University with a degree in journalism. He writes science fiction and fantasy as well as related non-fiction. His Web site can be found at http://www.exoticdeer.org/jayme.html.

Joe Crowe (Humor Editor, News Editor): Formerly a founding editor of Zealot.com and staff writer for Hecklers.com, Joe now works as a copy editor for the Birmingham News and spends far too much time downloading 1980s TV clips from the Internet.

Mark Finn (Games Editor): Mark Finn (one of the Texas Revolutionaries) is an author, editor, and pop culture expert. He has been a professional writer for over ten years, with comics, short fiction, novellas, and essays published by everyone from Playboy.com to RevolutionSF.com and back again. Finn was one founders of the now-legendary "Clockwork Storybook," along with Bill Willingham, Chris Roberson, and Matthew Sturges. His two novels, Gods New and Used and Year of the Hare are still available out there in limited quantities. Finn is also a current member of the Robert E. Howard United Press Association.

Peggy Hailey (Books Editor): Peggy is head buyer for Book People in Austin, Texas, and a columnist for BookPeople.com, Stomp of Approval, and Readerville. (Note: "head buyer" means she's in charge of buying and reviewing books. She doesn't buy heads. So don't try to sell her one.)

Shane Ivey (Producer, Managing Editor, Webmaster, and anything else not covered elsewhere): That's me. I'm a freelance writer, a magazine and book editor, and a copy editor for the Birmingham News. I am co-founder and managing editor of Arc Dream Publishing, publisher of the critically acclaimed roleplaying game GODLIKE: Superhero Roleplaying in a World on Fire, 1936-1946. I also do Web design for Pagan Publishing, editing and Web design for Avalanche Press, and I serve as associate editor of The Black Seal magazine. In the distant past (by Internet standards, anyway) I founded the sci-fi humor site Zealot.com (along with RevolutionSF humor and news guy Joe Crowe) and was writer and Web developer for the gaming sites ANT.com, ANTKids.com, and GameJudge.com. After the company that ran all those properties went the way of the dot-com dodo, I founded this here RevolutionSF site.

Rick Klaw (Contributing Editor): Rick is an award-winning editor, formerly of independent publisher MOJO Press and Blackbird Press. His short stories, comics, and columns have been published in SFSite, JAB, Negative Burn, Stomp of Approval, Science Fiction Weekly, BookPeople.com, and many more.

Robert E. Mansperger, Jr. (Art Director): Rob is an award-winning illustrator, graphic dsigner and illustrator living in Nashu, NH. Formerly of NH.com he now works full-time at a small start-up software company in Lexington, MA that doesn't quite realize the dot-com boom went bust. But don't tell them; he needs the money to feed his twins babies and keep a roof over his head. We dragged Rob here with promises of fame and fortune after he helped with the designs for Arc Dream Publishing's corporate Web site and its portal sites for the Godlike and Wild Talents RPGs. Rob's portfolio may be found at mansperger.com. Rob himself may often be found wandering the streets of Nashua, NH claiming to be the king of France. At RevolutionSF, he helps keep the freelance artists and art projects organized.

Jason Myers (Film/DVD Editor): Los Angeles-based critic, columnist, and interviewer Jason Myers was a frequent contributor to Zealot.com.

Kevin Pezzano (Comics and Anime Editor): As Dreamcast Editor for ANT.com and ANTAGONIST Games Network on AOL (you might have known him as "ANT Pogo"), Kevin created the popular ANT Anime Bunker and was a frequent contributor to Zealot.com. He is also a columnist for GameShark.com.

Todd Shearer (Graphic Designer): Freelance artist Todd Shearer is responsible for the RevolutionSF logo and a lot of original artwork on RevolutionSF. Formerly graphic designer for Zealot.com, ANTAGONIST Games Network on AOL, and Hecklers Online on AOL, he is presently working as sci-fi geek for us when he isn't busy herding nerfs and dressing up in women's clothing. (Of course, he may still be wearing women's clothing when he works for us, as he lives in the wilds of Baltimore, Maryland, as opposed to the civilized lands of Alabama and Texas like the majority of our staff.)

Assistant Editors: Andrew Kozma (assistant film editor) and Alexandra Davis (assistant DVD editor).

Contributors: Other RevolutionSF contributors include author Michael Moorcock (Elric of Melnibone, The Cornelius Chronicles, Mother London), cyberpunk guru Bruce Sterling (Schismatrix, Islands in the Net, The Difference Engine), author and illustrator James Cawthorn (Fantasy: The Best 100 Books), author Joe R. Lansdale (The Bottoms, Jonah Hex, Bad Chili, Bubbahotep), author Neal Barrett, Jr. (Perpetuity Blues and Other Stories), game designer Jeff Quick (Star Wars Gamer, Star Wars Insider), editor and author Lou Anders (Argosy Magazine, Star Trek Monthly, Star Wars Monthly, Live Without a Net, Bookface.com), and many more.

We just got back from Dragon*Con, the convention so nice they put an asterisk in the middle of it. And boy, is my mouth tired! I believe I appeared on 718 panels. But you’ll be reading enough about that soon. Right now, we have two enjoyable features for you to …um… enjoy.

ARMADILLOCON: ARMADILLOS IN THE MIST. The other chunk of our staff just appeared at ArmadilloCon, where they also appeared on panels, spake about apes, and much conventional entertainment ensued.

A SOUND OF THUNDER: I’m so wonderfully, terribly glad we have a review of this. It was supposed to come out a long time ago. We’ve been anxiously awaiting it, since, hey, it has dinosaurs and time travel and a Ray Bradbury story. But I kind of knew that something was amiss, and sure enough… but just read the review.

We have a batch of new contests up for play right now, and a new chunk of your letters are in the works. We’ll be doing a feature on Dragon*Con soon. Also in the hopper: Batman Sucks/Rocks, wherein we lay alms upon and simultaneously hurl bad fruit at the Batman movies. (Thought we’d forgot about you, Schumacher?)

In other business – how about you join the new non-busted RevolutionSF forums? You have to be signed up there to win stuff in our contests, in which someone every week Wins Something.

The Sci-Fi Convention Scavenger Quest time limit is up for this convention season. If you go to more, save them till Sci-Fi Convention Scavenger Quest 2.

Now print out the PDF, and think ye back to your convention-going for the year 2005, and award yourself points. If you have pictures of what you got points for, good deal. We want to see them. Send in your point totals, and 100 words or more about your experience in obtaining your score, and highest point totals will also Win Something.

Thank you very much for coming to RevolutionSF.com. More to come soon.

Joe Crowe

www.RevolutionSF.com

subspace@...

Got a new movie review for you: “Brothers Grimm.”

And new in RevolutionSF Fiction: “Anayasia’s Dream.”

And I’ve written up a list of this season’s network TV fall premiere dates. But it ain’t just a list of times, because we write what we’ll call value-added journalism. Or VAJ, for short.

Give generously to Katrina evacuees.

Go to www.redcross.org/

Thank you very much for coming to RevolutionSF. More later, me go sleepy now.

Joe Crowe

www.RevolutionSF.com

In other words, we have a review of the first season of “Lost” on DVD.

Also up now: “The Brothers Grimm” movie review.

And a review of the “War of the Worlds” roleplaying game.

And new RevolutionSF fiction by Joe Sharcoff.

And in TV news, we have the premiere dates of all the network sci-fi shows. Yes, including “Charmed,” renewed for a 95^th big season.

GOOD TV NEWS:

A new season of Justice League Unlimited starts tomorrow night (Saturday the 17^th) on Cartoon Network.

WE DON’T YET KNOW THE QUALITY TV NEWS:

THRESHOLD starts tonight (Friday the 16^th) on CBS. It’s the one with Brent Spiner.

SURFACE starts Monday (the 19^th) on NBC. It’s the one that’s underwater.

Medium also returns that night. It’s the one with Patricia Arquette.

And that might hold you for a little while. Remember to sign up for the message boards, send in your Sci-Fi Convention Quest forms, and then I’ll leave you alone. For a little while.

Thank you very much for coming to RevolutionSF.

Joe Crowe

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One down, five to go. The first new sci-fi show of the season was on last Friday, Threshold, and the RevSF review is up today.

“Surface” came on tonight, so I’ll get to work right away on that, cap’n.

More stuff in the works: My adventures at Dragon*Con 2005.

And our letters column, Subspace, has a brand new chunk of letters in it. Enjoy them at your leisure, then write us some more.

Now this chain around my leg that traps me at my desk is beginning to chafe, so I must once again apply the lotion to a sensitive area.

More to come soon.

Joe Crowe

www.RevolutionSF.com

We loved JUST LIKE HEAVEN, the wacky romantic comedy that’s like The Corpse Bride, but she’s a ghost, not a dessicated carcass.) It’s about a pretty dead girl starring Reese Witherspoon. And we’re not afraid to admit it. Martin Thomas’ review is up now.  

The indie flick BROKEN also gets a review from Mr. Thomas, but he’s slightly less kind.

Our newest TV column explores the freaky crap that happened in the season premiere of LOST. No hillbillies nor boats in this one, somehow.

THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE? Yep, one of us saw it, too.

And finally, the piece of animated genius that is LILO & STITCH 2: STITCH HAS A GLITCH.

Why can’t they rhyme all sequel character names in sequel titles? For example:

Escape From LA: Snake Has the Shakes

Rocky III: Rocky Gets Cocky

Revenge of the Sith: Anakin Sucks

Tonight on CBS is the debut of GHOST WHISPERER, starring Jennifer Love Hewitt. I don’t know if it’s any good. But JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT.

This Saturday is the season premiere of TEEN TITANS on Cartoon Network. It’ll have the Doom Patrol, for all of us DC Comics nerds. I don’t know if it’s any good. But ROBOTMAN.

More reviews of the season’s new sci-fi shows are coming soon. I’ve seen them, and boy… well, I’ll save it for the reviews.

Thank you very much for coming to RevolutionSF. Have you joined the non-busted RevSF forums yet? You can win prizes by doing so. And tell your sci-fi buddies about us, because that way, we can all speak on interesting sci-fi things together. And by the way: Don’t fall in love with a dreamer.

Joe Crowe

www.RevolutionSF.com

We have more things coming, but first, enjoy at a leisurely pace our stately feature, Batman Sucks / Rocks. We lovingly detail each Bat-movie, including the animated Mask of the Phantasm and the original 1966 Bat-series movie.

And there’s a review of Doom. You remember that game? The one that we all played for more man-hours than we worked the first year that we got it?

Also, The Rock and Eomer are in it, thus bringing the combined fighting ability of the WWE and the Rohirrim to bear against alien thingies.

More stuff coming soon. And while you’re on the site check the RevolutionSF Halloweenie Boonanza of Geek-Centric Fun ‘n Such, for ways to enliven your “fall festival” time.

More tricking and treating coming to the site soon.

Joe “Boo” Crowe

www.RevolutionSF.com

As you relax at home tonight, cooling down from your Reese’s Cup buzz, exhausted from covering your neighborhood yards in hectares of toilet paper, we have a little feature that you’ll dig.

It’s the THIRTEEN SCARIEST SCI-FI STORIES.

Your options:

1) Read the list.

2) Revel.

Or if you are not of the opinion that you should revel, you may

1) Send in your list of stories that we forgot.

Regardless, we want to hear from you. Tell us we’re full of it, or something. And whatever you do, don’t go into them woods where they saw Booger.

Joe Crowe

www.RevolutionSF.com

More Halloweenish stuff after the fact, even as creepy things like Daylight Saving Time surround us all in real life. I mean, who gave us the authority to change what time it is?

First up: TELL, RevolutionSF Fiction by Rory Harper and Teresa Tunaley. It’s freaky. Not for the kids. Now I’m going to go have the heebies and jeebies.

A review of THE FOG. Which despite having Clark Kent and Mean Ol’ Shannon from Lost, still isn’t very good.

LOVECRAFTIAN DOINGS, a feature about the work of Cthulhu Guy H.P. Lovecraft, and where you can consume things related to him (and it). Before, of course, they consume you.

And a new poll about Star Wars DVDs.

Have you joined the RevSF message boards yet? If so, you win stuff. And you can talk to like-minded RevSFers like yourself. We’re all about bringing the people together, much like a virtual bearhug.

Thanks very much for coming to RevolutionSF. More to come very soon.

Joe Crowe

joecrowe@...

We’re all about you, The People, today at RevolutionSF. Or, as the irritating Internet buzzword would put it, “interactivity.”

We have a about 1,700 letters in our letters column Subspace.

And all the contests have been updated. New contests are about Serenity, werewolves, Reese Witherspoon, and Invasion.

And check out the chick-magnet mutton chops on Isaac Asimov in the TRS-80 ad on the front page.

Thanks very much for coming to RevolutionSF. More stuff coming soon.

Joe Crowe

www.RevolutionSF.com

joecrowe@...

Small update for now: two new game reviews are up:

Battle of the Bands: The Rock and Roll Card Game and Superline, a module for Mutants and Masterminds.

Alan Porter has a chunk of comics in review, including Infinite Crisis #1 (love that last page!) and comics news, including the banning of the Batusi from a DC Comics cover.

And I did RevSF News on Stephen King coming to Marvel, and a dinky gimmick coming to Lost.

More stuff soon. Now join the bulletin board (if you do, you can win prizes. Did I mention that?)

And while I have you here: What thinkest ye about the site? Complaints? Gripes? Seriously, if we suck at something we want to stop doing so. Let us know.

Hugs and smoochies,

Joe Crowe

joecrowe@...

Our new helping of comic book reviews are up, including Jonah Hex, DC Comics’ Western hero with that freaky mouth scar that made him all scowly all the time. Also, it was probably a bitch when he tried to eat soup.

And we do some reviewing of

SPACE BATTLESHIP YAMATO: MAKING OF AN ANIME LEGEND: A documentary on the cartoon that started it all. Well, some of it, anyway.

STAY: The movie where a saber-free Ewan MacGregor meets Janeane Garofalo. I’m frightened already.

And the SECOND WORLD SOURCEBOOK, a role-playing game sourcebook for combining genres. Hey! You got your wizard in my cyberpunk!

Coming up soon: Book reviews, and the oddness that is Kong: The Animated Series.

And other things.

And hey, have you joined our bulletin boards? It’s free, it doesn’t take long, and you can win free things if you do. PLEASE. DO IT FOR ME. THEY WON’T LET ME USE HAIR GOOP UNTIL YOU DO. I NEED THE STYLING AND THE LUXURIANCE! PLEASE –

I mean, if you feel like it. Totally up to you. They’re totally not forcing me to say this.

LUXURIANCE!

Thank you very much for coming to RevolutionSF.

Joe Crowe

www.RevolutionSF.com

joecrowe@...