Hi folks...<br>I've been away from this group too
long.<br>Is anyone here working with either SAW (Software
Audio Workshop) or Media Touch?<br>SAW is a production
program and Media Touch is an on-air computerized
system.<br>I've been running into glitches lately and I wonder if
you have too.<br>I won't go into the problems until I
find someone on the systems, thus sparing you from
having to read unnecessarily.<br><br>A line I wrote for
Who Wants to be a Millionaire...<br><br>What kind of
questions are these?<br>Okay Bob...for 64 thousand
dollars...what is your favourite color?<br>Ooooh I'm sorry...the
answer is B.<br>etc.<br><br>Leonid Meteor showers begin
tomorrow...Nov. 17 and will last two days. Could be spectacular
sky-show in Eastern portions of North America... but could
also cause satellite damage if the chunks of stuff are
as plentiful as predicted. Meanwhile, we can laugh,
knowing that we might not have to get another one of
those blasted feeds for a while!<br><br>Take care
...<br>Paul

Hi Trap...<br>Nice to see you in the group!<br>Good idea re: recording phoners
and priming the pump. It dovetails nicely with what Jay was saying.<br>I'll do
it!<br>All the best,<br>Paul

What I've done for phones is prime the
pump-basically have my question that I'm going to ask the day
before.(IE. Hillarys b-day presents)<br>Everybody that calls
(requests, contests etc)I ask my question(off air) then tape
the answers. After I get off the air I run back into
prod lift all the answers off the tape-edit them-cart
'em up. Then when I ask my question on the air the
next morning I go into a few commercals then come out
and say" we've got a few answers to our morn phone
poll already" play the cart w/music bed then ask"what
do you think- give us a call 997-etc..." The phone's
go nuts. People think "well i've got a better answer
then that-they called why don't I?!"<br>IT WORKS!!!

A Kansas City, Missouri couple wants people to
donate blood at their reception instead of giving them
wedding presents. Its so they can pay off the reception
band, Marilyn Manson<br><br><br>Michael Jackson's
building three theme parks in Japan. Instead of getting a
pair of Mickey Mouse ears at Jackson’s park get a
press-on version of Michael's latest nose<br><br>Etch A
Sketch now has a museum of Etch A Sketch art in
California. You'd think they'd pick somewhere less prone to
Earthquakes.

I changed most of these a little for the market I
broadcast to.<br><br><br>Researchers at Georgia State
University’s language research center in Atlanta have taught
apes how to speak English.<br><br>… Place DJ joke
here.<br><br><br>A 17 year old Cincinnati boy whose hormonal problem
has produced breasts large enough to fill a size 34 B
bra says his insurers Blue Cross and Blue Shield
refuse to pay for breast reduction because they consider
it a cosmetic procedure.<br><br>… Not like the ones
the kids facing if he doesn’t get the
operation.<br><br>Penn State University is keeping its football field
moist with water that cooled a nuclear reactor. It
saves the University lots of money. They never have to
turn on the lights for night games.<br><br><br>An
Ottawa woman has been convicted of theft after to walk
out of a grocery store with 3 whole chickens, a pork
roast, a beef roast and a duck concealed under her long
skirt.<br><br>Where are the sausages.<br><br><br>Two Pennsylvania
doctors plan on marketing glow in the dark soft drinks
and beer. The scuba diving physicians figured out a
way to clone the natural substance that makes some
sea animals glow under water. <br><br>…Light beer
takes on a whole new meaning now…

Thanks to the both of you for your
ideas...<br>Jay, I never thought of that...and you're right,
people do have better things to do. Getting phoners was
management's idea of fun. Whee!<br>I'll take your suggestion
though... it's a superb idea.<br><br>Retro...you gotta go
with what resonates with you. It's really obvious that
you really care about your show so I don't want to
sound like Grandpa Walton here, but I think you should
trust that inner feeling that we all get, when we know
that we've arrived at the right spot. Sheesh...that
does sound like Grandpa Walton!<br>Let us know when
you go to air... and... is your station up on the
net? RealAudio maybe?<br>Take care...the two of
you...<br>Paul.

I would agree with Jay. There seems to be no
obvious answer to why listeners get fired up over some
topics and not others. Where I am currently working the
FM station almost always has a poor response but the
AM station (older listeners) get very good
responses. Perhaps that is the answer? Older listeners seem
more loyal to their local station and like to get
involved. Or perhaps you have found
otherwise?<br><br>Anyway, I agree that it is good to have plenty of answers
of your own in case nobody calls in.<br><br>I'm
still not positive about what to call the love song
part of my show. I want to play more than just love
songs i.e. any laid-back stuff that is easy to listen
to and suitable for that time of night so I though I
might go for 'Pillow Talk'. What do you
think?<br><br>All the best,<br><br>Lisa

Hi The Voice bc,<br><br>I do a phoner every Tue
and Thurs. I take the attitude that it doesn't matter
if you don't get any calls as long as you've preped
some answers.<br>The other day we did a phoner for
Hillary Clintons birthday. What would you buy Hillary for
her birthday ?<br>I had 2 calls all morning. But I'd
thought up a dozen or so answers and made up some
listener names. The punters will think your getting loads
of calls. I always think that people have better
things to do between 6 and 9 in the morning than phone
up some jock on the radio.<br><br>Have a good
show,<br><br>Jay

Hi folks...<br>I'm a jock of soooooo many years
that I've lost count, but I'm still on the air in
Northern B.C., doing the morning show from 6 to
9.<br><br>The show is heard from the Queen Charlotte Islands
(too darn close to Alaska) all the way down to and
including Kelowna (about two hours away from the southern
Canadian border.<br><br>We're on Media Touch (ever hear of
it?) touch-screen system and we use SAW in the prod
rooms.<br><br>One thing my show lacks is good phones. It's not that
I'm not capable... I'm just having a tough time
kick-starting that kind of involvement. I start mining for
calls about 6:40 with topics like What Is Your
Favourite Hallowe'en Movie? Good question huh? I got zilch.
No one.<br>Our format is country and my show is
humour based but with healthy doses of relateable(sp?)
news oriented stuff.<br>Has anyone in the group had
any topics that were sure-fire winners?<br><br>By the
way, a note for our friend in England... do you have a
name for your show yet?<br><br>We had one, called
Lovin'and Laughin'...Cryin' and Leavin'. We took
dedications from people and the theme really worked... some
were head over heels in love and wanted mushy songs
sent to their lovers... Others were wanting one more
phone call from their former and would dedicate a
hurin' song. This by the way, was a feature at a
pop-oriented station.<br>Good luck!<br><br>Congratulations for
developing such a great site... It's great to have a meeting
place for fellow announcers!<br><br>Take
care...<br>Paul

Oh, yes, I have been made to look stupid with
these sort of things a lot of times in the past. I'm
afraid my mind cannot cope with lateral thinking!!!
<br><br>Thanks for that. I will let you know if I need anymore
once my new show starts.<br><br>Lisa

www.gonow.to/radiopage<br><br>A little commentary, showprep and other radio
stuff.

Hi Lisa,<br><br>Heres a lateral thinker for
you..if you want more let me know.<br><br>TWO BROTHERS
WERE HAVING A DRINK IN A PUB<br>WHEN ONE OF THEM GOT
INTO A HEATED <br>ARGUMENT WITH THE LANDLORD.<br>HE
PULLED A KNIFE AND EVEN THOUGH HIS BROTHER<br>TO STOP
HIM, STABBED THE LANDLORD IN THE CHEST.<br>AT HIS
TRIAL HE WAS FOUND TO BE GUILTY OF ASSAULT <br>WITH A
DEADLY WEAPON AND GRIEVOUS BODILY HARM.<br>AT THE END OF
THE TRIAL THE JUDGE SAID " YOU HAVE BEEN FOUND GUILTY
OF A SERIOUS CRIME. HOWEVER I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO
SET YOU FREE".<br><br>WHY?<br>(answer
below)<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>ANS: THE GUILTY MAN
WAS A SIAMESE TWIN. THE JUDGE
COULDN'T SEND HIM TO PRISON WITHOUT SENTENCING THE
INNOCENT BROTHER.

Hi Jay,<br><br>What do you mean by Lateral Thinking questions? Can I have an
example? Sounds intriguing.<br><br>love,<br><br>Lisa

Another good site for radio showprep is Interprep.com

Thanks for those ideas. Anymore would be most
welcome - I'm having trouble making a
decision.<br><br>Currently I am working for a commercial radio station in
Plymouth, England but will soon be moving to a new station
in the Devon countryside. <br><br>Must go now
because I am on Sunday Breakfast Show tomorrow and need
my beauty sleep.<br><br>Lisa

I've had a showprep link mailed me..try it out<br><br><a
href=http://www.comedy-wire.com
target=new>http://www.comedy-wire.com</a><br><br>Jay

Hi Lisa<br><br>Here's a few suggestions, i'm sure
they have all been used before!!<br>The Love
Zone<br>The Love Arena<br>The Coco Zone<br>I used to do a
love zone a few years ago. We called it "Late Night
Love Songs", I included a true life love story, lots
of requests and a Lateral Thinking quiz.<br>If you'd
like some Lat Thinking questions, I've got loads, just
leave a message.<br><br>Which station are you on
?<br><br>Good Luck<br>Jay

I am preparing a proposal for an evening show on
a local radio station which must include 2 hours of
love songs. Does anybody have any ideas of what to
call this slot in the show? It cannot be too racey as
this is a rural area with quite a lot of older
listeners. <br><br>I would be grateful for your
help.<br><br>Lisa

Strange requests made of secretaries.<br>To buy
him a pair of size 10 red stiletto's.<br>To arrange
his vasectomy.<br>To take his sperm sample to the
hospital.<br>Whilst away on a business trip, he asked me to handcuff
him to a bed and do some overtime.<br>Will you sleep
with my wife ?<br>Buy some tape for re-fixing his
toupee.<br>To tell his girlfriend he was on business in the
U.S, when in fact he was on honeymoon in
France.<br>Clean out his glass eye.<br>To follow him around with a
wastepaper basket when he was feeling ill.<br>Take dictation
in the toilet.<br>To organise the purchase of his
grave.<br>To make sure his cup of tea was the same colour as a
certain envelope.<br>Take his mother out for the
day.<br>To go on holiday with his wife because he didn't
have the time.<br>Arrange his divorce.<br>To tell the
M.D he had B.O.<br>To exchange a jockstrap.<br>Find
out the cost of a one way mirror for the office
toilets.<br>Grow my hair like Jennifer Anniston.

The other week we ran a comp to win a Multimedia
PC.<br>We got the listeners to phone in with films and
songs for computers.<br>Loads of reponse...here's a few
of the sugestions.<br><br>Goodbye Mr. Chips<br>Ram A
Lam A Ding Dong - Ronnie Sharp & the
Replays<br>You've Got Mail<br>Electric Dreams<br>Jumping Jack
Flash<br>Bits and P.C's - Dave Clark Five<br>3 Blind
Mice<br>Looking Through The Window - Hollies<br>Short
Vircuit<br>3 Times a Lady - Commodores<br>Drive - Cars<br>When
The Packard Bell Tolls - Bee Gees<br>Bugs Life<br>Hey
Micky Mouse Mat - Toni Basil<br>Crash -
Primitives<br>When I'm Cleaning Windows - George Formby<br>Surfin
USA - Beach Boys<br>A Little Bit More - Dr.
Hook<br>Another One Bites The Dust - Queen<br><br>The Winner
was<br><br>The Internet Strikes Back with..<br>Luke
Scartwalker<br>Ram Solo<br>R2 Into<br>CPU<br>Jabba Input..and they
fly around in the Pentium Falcon

30) You won't have to keep putting down the
toilet seat.<br><br>29) You will never have to buy a
matching set of "his 'n' hers" Komonos.<br><br>28) By
never getting married you will avoid having to feign
pleasure in bed.<br><br>27) If you wake up in the middle
of the night and someone's nicked the duvet, you'll
know you've had burglars.<br><br>26) No
in-laws.<br><br>25) Your partner won't lay claim to 50% of your
lottery winnings.<br><br>24) You can irritate your
married friends by telling them "1 in 3 marriages end in
divorce".<br><br>23) There may be toe-nail clipping in the bed, but at
leas they're yours.<br><br>22) You don't have to give
anyone your last Rolo.<br><br>21) You'll never be
arrested for bigamy.<br><br>20) You'll never have to stand
for half and hour with your legs crossed outside your
own bathroom.<br><br>19) You can get undressed with
the light on.<br><br>18) You can own a pair of
"pulling pants".<br><br>17) Two's company? One's
cheaper.<br><br>16) You'll never wearthe same sweaters as your
partner.<br><br>15) You'll never finish your partners
sentences.<br><br>14) You'll never lose your wedding ring.<br><br>13)
Whose turn is it to clean the bath? Single people don't
clean the bath.<br><br>12) You'll never be
dumped.<br><br>11) You can leave crap parties when YOU want
to.<br><br>10) Toilet rolls last longer.<br><br>9) You'll never
feel obliged to enjoy the "69" position.<br><br>8)
You'l never have to worry abou acquiring your partners
irritating children.<br><br>7) If the phone rings you'll
know it's for you.<br><br>6) You can wind up your
parents by letting them think you're gay.<br><br>5) You
can cheat at solitaire and not feel guilty.<br><br>4)
When you wake up in the morning with a clammy tongue
in your mouth, you know it's you own.<br><br>3)
Nobody will ever say "You are a lovely
couple".<br><br>2) You'll never have to put an ad in the newspaper
on St. Valantine's day day saying "Snooky-pie loves
Snuggly-bum".<br><br>1) You get great sex.

1. Movie nudity is virtually always
female.<br><br><br>2. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
<br><br><br>3. Monday Nite Football.<br><br><br>4. You don't
have to monitor your friends sex lives. <br><br><br>5.
All your orgasms are real.<br><br><br>6. You can
leave a hotel bed unmade.<br><br><br>7. You can kill
your own food.<br><br><br>8. The garage is all
yours.<br><br><br>9. You never have to clean the
toilet.<br><br><br>10. You can be showered and ready in 10
minutes.<br><br><br>11. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
<br><br><br>12. Your underwear is $10 for a three
pack.<br><br><br>13. The National College Cheerleading
Championship<br><br><br>14. None of your co-workers have the power to make
you cry. <br><br><br>15. You don't have to shave
below your neck.<br><br><br>16. Flowers fix
everything.<br><br><br>17. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking
hours.<br><br><br>18. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your
universe.<br><br><br>19. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you
walk into the room.<br><br><br>20. The world is your
urinal.<br><br><br>21. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
<br><br><br>22. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer
bottle.<br><br><br>23. The remote is yours and yours
alone.<br><br><br>24. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.<br><br><br>25.
You can rationalise any behaviour with the handy
phrase "F*ck it!"<br><br><br>26. If another guy shows up
at the party in the same outfit, you might become
lifelong buddies.<br><br><br>27. You never have to miss a
sexual opportunity because your not in the
mood.<br><br><br>28. Porn movies are designed with your mind in
mind.<br><br><br>29. Not liking a person does not preclude having
great sex with them.<br><br><br>30. Baywatch

Eureka USA. Men without moustaches are not
allowed to kiss women.<br><br>Alexandria USA. It's
illegal for a man to have sex with his wife if his breath
smells of Garlic, Sardines or Onion.<br><br>Providence
USA.Shop owners can't sell toothpaste and toothbrushes to
the same person on a Sunday.<br><br>St. Louis USA.
It's illegal for a Fireman to rescue a woman in a
night-gown.<br><br>Ames USA. Men can't have more than three sips of beer
if in bed with their wives.<br><br>Maryland USA.
It's illegal; to play Randy Newmans Short People on
the radio.<br><br>Oklahoma USA. You'll be arrested
for making faces at a dog.<br><br>Texas USA.
Criminals are required to give 24 hours written or oral
notice to their victims before committing a
crime.<br><br>Washington USA. It's an offence to pretend to have rich
parents.<br><br>Tremonton USA. A woman can't have sex in an
Ambulance.<br><br>In Oxford USA. It's illegal for a woman to undress
in front of a picture of a man.<br><br>Miami
USA.It's illegal to imitate an animal.<br><br>Ohio USA.
It's compulsory for pets to carry lights on their
tails at night.<br><br>Florida USA. It's illegal to
doze of under the hairdryer of a
hairdressers.<br><br>Georgia USA. You can't slap an old friend on the
back.<br><br>Missouri USA. It's illegal to play hopscotch on a
Sunday.<br><br>France. It's illegal to sell E.T dolls because there is a
law forbidding dolls without Human
heads.<br><br>Kentucky USA. It's illegal to carry an ice-cream in your
pocket.<br><br>Minnesota USA. Owners of dogs can be arrested for letting
their mutt chase a cat up a tree.<br><br>Pennsylvania
USA. Men are forbidden to fall asleep in a barbers
chair.<br><br>Maryland USA. Lions are banned for the Cinema.

A very modest lady applied for a job at the
factory where they made the "tickle me elmo dolls". It
was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the
boss told here to report for work on Monday and then
explained she would<br>be stationed on the assembly line
just before the dolls were packed into
boxes.<br>Monday they started up the line and within twenty
minutes had to shut it down because one worker couldn't
keep up. The boss went down the line to find the
problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her
part but she had a<br>bunch of dolls waiting for her.
Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth
bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place
on the dolls.<br>When the boss could control his
laughter he said, "Lady, I said to give each doll
Two----Test----Tickles.<br><br><br>---------------------------------------------\
-----------------------------------<br><br>An airline captain was breaking in a
very pretty new
blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a
stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain
showed the stewardess the best place for airline
personnel to eat,<br>shop and stay overnight. <br>The next
morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's
route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He
knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her
up wondering what happened to her. <br>She answered
the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of
her room. <br>"You can't get out of your room?" the
captain asked, "Why not?" <br>The stewardess replied,
"There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one
is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a
sign on it that says 'Do Not
Disturb'!"<br><br><br>----------------------------------------------------------\
----------------------<br><br>A teacher wanted to teach his 5th grade class a
lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an
experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of
whiskey, and two worms.<br>"Now, class. Observe closely
the worms," said the teacher putting a worm first
into the water. The worm in the water writhed about,
happy as a worm in water could be.<br>The second worm,
he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and
it quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?"
the teacher asked.<br>Little Johnny raised his hand
and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't
get worms!"

Rejected HallMark Cards<br><br> 1. My tire was
thumping....<br> I thought it was flat....<br> when I looked at
the tire....<br> I noticed your cat... Sorry<br> <br>
2. You've announced that you're gay,<br> won't that
be a laugh,<br> when they find out you're one<br> of
the Joint Chiefs of Staff.<br><br> 3. Your computer
is dead...<br> it was once so alive<br> Don't you
regret installing<br> Windows 95?<br><br> 4. You
totalled your car...<br> and can't remember why...<br>
could it have been...<br> that case of Bud Dry?

What's black and blue and brown and laying in a
ditch ?<br>A brunette who's told too many blonde
jokes.<br><br><br>--------------------------------------------------------------\
------------------<br><br>What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch
?<br>A brunette who's told too many blonde
jokes.<br><br><br>--------------------------------------------------------------\
------------------<br><br>Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners ?<br>So
brunettes can remember
them.<br><br><br>---------------------------------------------------------------\
-----------------<br><br>What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes
?<br>Invisible.<br><br><br>-----------------------------------------------------\
---------------------------<br><br>What is the difference between a brunette and
garbage
?<br>Garbage gets taken out at least once a
week.<br><br><br>---------------------------------------------------------------\
-----------------<br><br>What did the brunette say after having sex ?<br>Are
you guys all on the same team ?
<br><br><br>--------------------------------------------------------------------\
------------<br><br>Why don't brunettes make good cattle ranchers
?<br>Because they can't keep their calves
together.<br><br><br>-----------------------------------------------------------\
---------------------<br><br>What's the difference between a brunette and a 747
jet
?<br>Some men have never been in a
747.<br><br><br>----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------------<br><br>A blond woman resembling Daryl Hannah went to her
doctor complaining of pain.<br>"Where are you hurting?"
asked the doctor.<br>"You have to help me, I hurt all
over", said the woman.<br>"What do you mean, all over?"
asked the doctor,<br>"Be a little more
specific."<br>The woman touched her right knee with her index
finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she
touched<br>her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts,
too."<br>Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT
hurts", she cried.<br>The doctor looked at her
thoughtfully for a moment and asked,<br>"Are you a natural
blonde?"<br>"Why, yes," she said.<br>"I thought so," said the
doctor, "You have a broken finger."

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to
unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
They tried and tried to get the door open, but they
couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a
moment to catch her breath, and her friend said
anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is
down."<br><br><br>--------------------------------------------------<br><br>A
young blonde woman is distraught because she
fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a
gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes
home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful
redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading
with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde
responds to the husband, "Shut up... you're
next!"<br><br><br>--------------------------------------------------<br><br>Hear
about the blonde that got an AM radio?<br>It took
her a month to realize she could play it at
night.<br><br><br>--------------------------------------------------<br><br>What
happened to the blonde ice hockey team?<br>They
drowned in Spring
training.<br><br><br>--------------------------------------------------<br><br>W\
hat did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front
of the YMCA?<br>"Look! they spelled MACY'S
wrong.<br><br><br>--------------------------------------------------<br><br>Why
do blondes like lightning?<br>They think someone
is taking their
picture.<br><br><br>--------------------------------------------------<br><br>Ho\
w do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?<br>Tell
her a joke on
Wednesday.<br><br><br>-------------------------------------------------<br><br>W\
hy did the blonde stare at frozen orange
juice?<br>Because it said
'concentrate'.<br><br><br>--------------------------------------------------<br>\
<br>A blonde woman competed with a brunette woman and a
redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English
Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the
redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached
shore<br>completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and
coffee she remarked, "I don't want to complain, but I
think those other two girls used their arms."

My wife and I can't come to the phone right now,
but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get
back to you as soon as we're
finished.<br>--------------------------------------------------<br><br>A is for
academics, B is for beer. One of those
reasons is why we're not here. So leave a
message.<br><br>--------------------------------------------------<br><br>(Narra\
tor's voice:) There Dale sits, reading a magazine.
Suddenly the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a
veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the
middle of it, his arms windmilling at incredible speeds!
Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant effort
is in vain. The bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a
message.<br><br>--------------------------------------------------<br><br>"Hi.
Now you say
something."<br><br>--------------------------------------------------<br><br>Hi!
John's answering machine is broken. This is his
refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your
message to myself with one of these
magnets."<br><br>--------------------------------------------------<br><br>"Hell\
o, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine
just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with
taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while
you leave your message, just hold it up to the
phone.'<br><br>--------------------------------------------------<br><br>"This
is not an answering machine -this is a telepathic
thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your
name,<br>your reason for calling and a number where I can reach
you, and I'll think about returning your
call."<br><br>--------------------------------------------------<br><br>"Hi. I
am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I
don't like. leave me a message, and if I don't call
back, it's
you."<br><br>--------------------------------------------------<br><br>"If you
are a burglar, then we're probably at home
cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the
phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe
to leave us a message."
<br><br><br>--------------------------------------------------------------------\
------------<br><br>"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy.
You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing
your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions.
When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly
compelled to leave your name, number, and a
message."<br><br><br>-----------------------------------------------------------\
---------------------<br><br>"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail
System.
Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded
and stored for later use. Once this is done, our
computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for
literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There
is no charge for this initial consultation. However
our staff of<br>professional extortionists will
contact you in the near future to further explain the
benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule
of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound
of the tone. Thank
you."<br><br><br>---------------------------------------------------------------\
-----------------<br><br>Please leave a message. However, you have the right to
remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and
will be used by
us.<br><br><br>-----------------------------------------------------------------\
---------------<br><br>Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up
the phone right now, because we're doing something we
really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I
like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave
a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth
we'll get back to you.

I created this club on Sat 18th September at
12.30pm. <br>Please send as much show prep, competition
idea's etc, as you can.<br>Hopefully we can begin
swapping idea's and make our shows sound bloody
fantastic!<br>If anyone wants to email me you can use my private
address jaythomas@...<br><br>Jay.

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