2003 PUNS OF THE YEAR 1. IN THE NEWS A teacher has been arrested at Dulles International Airport in possession of slide rules, protractors, and calculators. It...
PUNS OF THE DAY: Puns of the Day 01-01-04 Happy New Year IN THE NEWS The FDA has banned ephedra. This sends an important message to weight loss programs. Diet...
From: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/very-punny/files/very-punny-puns -2003.tar.gz> very-punny@yahoogroups.com [Jan 01, 2003] What do you call money for the...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-02-04 IN THE NEWS 61 year old former Beatle Paul McCartney has just become a father again. He will celebrate by reissuing "When I'm 64"...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-05-04 IN THE NEWS The New York Athletic Club announced today that it has asked Jason White to return the Heisman Trophy after his...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-06-03 IN THE NEWS Pete Rose on Thursday releases his autobiography, My Prison Without Bars, in which he admits betting on baseball. He was...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-07-04 IN THE NEWS President Bush in Missouri Monday defended his No Child Left Behind Act. He said he gets no credit. If the president...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-08-03 IN THE NEWS President Bush unveiled a proposal to reform immigration laws Wednesday that would give illegal aliens the right to stay...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-09-04 IN THE NEWS Saddam Hussein was promised a fair trial by Baghdad jurists Wednesday. He is quite the philosopher. Saddam believes if...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-12-04 IN THE NEWS Pete Rose has admitted he bet on baseball games. That’s not the worst of it. He also admits that several times, he...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-13-04 IN THE NEWS Michael Jackson moved into a thirty-seven-thousand-square- foot hillside mansion in Beverly Hills last week. It's a...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-14-04 IN THE NEWS Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'...they say 'President', we say...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-15-04 IN THE NEWS Neil Armstrong endorsed the president's plan on Tuesday to send an American to Mars and to establish a space colony on...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-16-03 IN THE NEWS President Bush announced a major new plan for the United States to put a man on the moon, which would be a really big...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-19-04 Happy Martin Luther King Day IN THE NEWS Monday is a federal holiday. Government workers get a break from their daily routines. They...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-20-04 IN THE NEWS Greece assured the White House Friday the Summer Olympics in Athens will be free of athlete doping. It's already hurting...
The voracious VERBIVORE Richard Lederer is the master of English's idiosyncratic idioms By John Wilkens STAFF WRITER San Diego Union-Tribune January 11, 2004 ...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-21-04 IN THE NEWS President Bush has announced plans to send astronauts to Mars. I don't think President Bush really understands the space...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-22-04 IN THE NEWS In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the end of the Bush administration. I agree. Sure,...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-23-04 IN THE NEWS In last year’s State of The Union, Bush said there was no doubt that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. Last night,...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-26-04 IN THE NEWS In New Hampshire, John Edwards continues to say there's two Americas. Today, President Bush said that's wrong, there's...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-27-04 IN THE NEWS President George W. Bush is on the campaign stump. He’s touting his healthy forests initiative. No tree left behind...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-28-04 CORRECTION “JAZZED” was posted yesterday without any attribution. It is by Gill Ross. Here it is for those of you who missed it:...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-28-04 CORRECTION “JAZZED” was posted yesterday without any attribution. It is by Gill Ross. Here it is for those of you who missed it:...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-29-04 IN THE NEWS Oscar nominations came out today. Up for best actor, Sean Penn for "Mystic River," Jude Law for "Cold Mountain," and of...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-30-04 IN THE NEWS The Super Bowl will be sponsored Sunday by Viagra, day-trading companies and mutual funds. The Lingerie Bowl will air...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 01-27-04 IN THE NEWS President George W. Bush is on the campaign stump. He’s touting his healthy forests initiative. No tree left behind...
Pig farmers have never done well in the United States. Most Americans prefer beef to pork. Hamburger is an American favorite but contains no ham. The porcine ...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 02-02-04 Happy Groundhog Day IN THE NEWS Janet Jackson make history at the Super Bowl half-time show. She’s the very first Jackson to make...
PUNS OF THE DAY: 02-03-04 IN THE NEWS - JANET JACKSON CBS has apologized for Janet Jackson's breast being exposed at the Super Bowl. Showing a boob was...
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