h geez, yikes. That's scary. I don't know if
that could be a problem or not. I haven't noticed
anything that strange about her action and speech. I read
a book that had a chapter on uncuddly infants that
are also high need. It said that these infants are
the hardest to take care of and the hardest to raise.
You just have to have patience. I tell you, I don't
know where I got my patience. <br><br>I love my baby
girl more than anything in this world. She loves to be
held but not held close. She is still extremely clingy
to me and likes to be worn but she won't cuddle and
sleep or just sit and cuddle. She's much too interested
in the world around her. I'm having a development
test done on her on Tuesday. I'm kind of excited for
that.<br><br>I know about the stress deal too. I really don't
know if my stress gets to her, I've pretty much
learned how to deal with her and she doesn't cry to much
because she basically tells me what she wants first by
humming and babbling or pointing, at that point, if she
doesn't get it, she screams. I've learned her language
though. Although sometimes her whining gives me the
biggest headaches. She does whine a lot. I've tried
infant massage also but she's just too antsy.
<br><br>She does like to play and likes videos, especially
winnie the pooh, tellatubbies, and especially the intro
to The Little Mermaid, as soon as it stops and the
movie starts she cries until I rewind it. I try reading
to her while feeding her to calm and that doesn't
work either. I'm very curious to see how she turns
out.<br><br>Jessica

y daughter was the same when she was a little
one. She was colicky, loved movies, had a long
attention span, was very alert, etc. But I don't remember
her being uncuddly. I have two questions for you. #1
Because she is "high need", could it be that it is
stressfull for you to take care of her? If you have stress,
baby has it too. You sort of feed off each other. Try
relaxing as much as possible before picking her up, see if
she is more cuddly.<br>Other thing is not as common,
but might want to keep an eye out. I don't know much
about it but I have heard that autism is seen in very
high achieving kids, but they are unable to function
at high levels of emotion. It is so soon for this
but may be worth looking into. Probably the
former.<br>Kelly

changed user names, but am thankful that you submitted this information because
it reassures me that this is something that I did that will benefit
her.<br>Thanks,<br>Kelly

e did not do this with our gifted son who is now
15, but in retrospect, I think we could have. Now,
nearly all of his social contacts are with kids older
than he is, and he really enjoys the company of
adults, too. He is somewhat bored in school and is tired
of all the same old same old. We have found other
ways to stimulate him, through summer camps, trips,
etc., but I think he could have been ready to leave
high school in one more year instead of two and a
half.

y son is working on a huge science fair project.
The minimum will never do. It is always some huge,
almost impossible big thing. Finally, now that he is in
high school, he is able to come up with things that
are a bit more realistic, but still very very
different from the mainstream. It is amazing to watch it
unfold.

ven though I have a lot of disdain for the
esteem accorded to IQ testing. . .<br><br>I was tested
at 135 - 140 at age 6 by a psychologist employed by
the school board, so it was standardized test. I'm
not sure which, however.<br><br>I believe I was
retested at 9 or 10 in the same range. Again, school board
psychologist and I'm not sure which test.<br><br>I've tested
again myself with books/online tests out of curiousity
and score anywhere from about 130 - 165. I imagine it
probably still sits in the 135 - 140 range,
however.<br><br>The fact remains that I know people with higher IQs
that are less intelligent across the board, and people
with lower who are more so. :)

ven though I have a lot of disdain for the
esteem accorded to IQ testing. . .<br><br>I was tested
at 135 - 140 at age 6 by a psychologist employed by
the school board, so it was standardized test. I'm
not sure which, however.<br><br>I believe I was
retested at 9 or 10 in the same range. Again, school board
psychologist and I'm not sure which test.<br><br>I've tested
again myself with books/online tests out of curiousity
and score anywhere from about 130 - 165. I imagine it
probably still sits in the 135 - 140 range,
however.<br><br>The fact remains that I know people with higher IQs
that are less intelligent across the board, and people
with lower who have moreso. :)

e did a very large amount of researching
ourselves, yes. There was a very, very heavy focus on
autonomy, in fact we had a class called ALM (Autonomous
Learner Model). I was always the type to learn by myself,
so I never really noticed but yes, autonomy was a
very key component, and probably the most important
skill taught.<br><br>In the regular classroom, there
was a lot of rote work although I have a hard time
recalling. Grades 2, 3, 4 are pretty much learning to read,
write, spell, etc. at any rate, so I don't see how it
can be any other way. By the time I was back in
regular school (10, 11, 12), the work was more
challenging if you decided to make it that way.<br><br>The
main difference was probably the levels of creativity
and autonomy demanded. I did some honours and some
regular courses, and found that in both people were not
expected to achieve on the level that I was used to
achieving on. Teachers were also a lot more tolerant of and
willing to just give answers, whereas in the gifted
program we were very much pushed towards self-exploration
(which I preferred).<br><br>I think the main difference
was in the level of facilitation; "gifted" teachers
were more willing to guide, recommend resources and
help to answer questions. We were expected to come up
with our own projects and topics for research;
sometimes, were were even expected to grade ourselves with
justification.<br><br>In the regular programs, topics were assigned, work
was fully planned, and questions were generally
answered instead of facilitated. And, of course, no sane
teacher would ever even think of having students
self-grade..

y Makenzie is 6 months old. She's always been
alert and watchful since birth. People have always
commented on how alert she is and how much she loves people
and interaction. Even at 4 days old. She's never been
closed fisted, has always grabbed for things, sat up,
etc... She's extremely high need and is very high
maintenance. I've got a swing, bouncy seat, supersaucer,
johnny jump up, musical sounds and lights, she just
plain isn't interested. Luckily she's been sitting up
on her own since month 4. She loves blocks, and
boxes and dumping things out of the boxes. She likes
watching Winnie the Pooh and the intro to the Little
Mermaid. I was just wondering if you considered your son
or daughter "high needs". MY daughter is also very
uncuddly and never sleeps during the day, and maybe for 4
hours at night if I'm lucky. I'm very curious about
this sort of thing and if she is gifted I would love
to know so I can help her grow. Any advise would be
great.<br><br>Jessica

was the oldest of 4 children and I was
gifted,and so was my brother(#3) but my sister and other
brother were not. I have 3 of my own and oldest boy and
youngest girl are, but middle girl is not. I don't get it
either.

he oldest just turned 5, she is emotional but
quiet, always thinking and working on something. She is
a dream child. She began reading at the age of 2
and I think there is little doubt she is gifted. The
other two are younger and I am told if you have one the
rest are also probably gifted. It is too young to cast
verdict on them however. The 3 year old is moody and
argumentable, the 23mo old is wild :) She still wakes up 3-4
times a night, never stops talking :( and is a clown.
Both seem bright? but the 3 year old is not reading
yet? Time will tell.

y son could not be settled in a "regular" way.
Sometimes when my comforting him did not work, I had to
just let him cry it out and then he would sleep well.
He was not a cuddly comforting infant. We walked the
floor, wondered if he had colic, consulted books, other
people. I don't think he fell asleep in my arms being
comforted and held more than two or three times EVER!

am winding down now.  Our gifted child is 15.  Always a challenge.  Our other
younger son brought home to us just how different gifted children are.  This
regular kid is just so easy compared!

was just wondering what your children were like
as babies? My daughter is very high need and is
NEVER satisfied. The doctor says she shows every sign
of extreme intelligence and I just don't know what
to do with her.<br><br>Jessica

nd which test you were tested with and what age.
I know the gifted need not be tested but the IQ
range is a good generalization. Congradulations on all
you have accomplished, and do finish that High School
Degree :)

id the programs teach you to research answers for yourself?  In the regular
classroom was the work mainly memorization?  How did the 2 styles of teaching
differ?

ou're so right - my son does a lot of stupid
things and they usually are different things pushing the
ever present boundary. He totally rejects parental
authority .. it is very difficult for him to be good on a
daily basis which is so frustrating for his father and
me. We need a lot of advise on how to deal with
this.<br><br>He is in the gifted program at school and loves it
however it is only for a short time each week - two class
periods each Thursday - it will increase each school
year.<br><br>Thanks for the advice - keep it coming.<br><br>Mary Ann

found that just being gifted and with regular
kids is a social nightmare in and of itself, for two
reasons:<br><br>a) You're smarter than they are. This probably
shouldn't make a difference, but people hate you for it.
Young children are incapable of distinguishing the
feeling, but they're jealous, don't doubt it.<br>b) Even
if you are excepted, you still won't feel like they
are your peers. I have never, ever been able to be
truly comfortable and myself with people of average
intelligence. Don't take that the wrong way; I have lots of
friends who are not gifted. But I always feel something
is missing, and I can never live up to my full
potential when I am with them. The conversation, the
entertainment, the maturity: it just isn't on the same
level.<br><br>So, I suppose one way of looking at it is, if your
son is currently not having a great time of it, why
not at least have the challenge and the development?
Whether skipping a grade provides challenge and
development is arguable at any rate, so I think that, if he's
comfortable (aside from misbehaviour) where he is, leave him
there. Give him the challenge through other
channels.<br><br>I found that I was usually friends with people
older than myself by up to 2/3 years; I still tend to
relate better to them. Also, re: misbehaviour. . .I
recall I used to be a bit of a punk, too, when I was in
elementary school. In fact, I was charged with theft at one
point and got in more than a few fights. Does your son
learn his lesson, though? I mean, after being
repremanded for misbehaving, does he seem to understand why
it was wrong, and not do the exact same thing again?
I've found that generally the gifted people I know
pick up quick. Yeah, they do stupid things, and, yeah,
sometimes lots of stupid things. But if you look closely. .
.it's always something different, and just us testing
the boundaries as the gifted tend to do..

ell, as I mentioned before, in Grade 4 I
discovered computers. My grandfather also gave me a Timex
(yes, they made PCs) that he had one and had no idea
what to do with. So, I learned about computers. It was
something that really interested me because the depth and
breadth of the field was unlimited; computers were
rapidly changing, always challenging, and I could never
learn enough.<br><br>I was a hobbyist until Grade 10.
After Junior High, all my friends (being gifted) went
into International Baccularate or high-level programs,
with the exception of those who preferred to slack
off. I went to a unique school, that focused on
learning at your own pace. I always loved learning at my
own pace because it meant either: a) more learning or
b) less time. I worked about 30 mins/day in high
school to complete my courses, and the rest of the time
I took off with my friends. <br><br>Or, played with
the computers. I knew someone who went to the school
who was interested in the Internet (this was 5 years
ago before it got big) and wanted it in the school.
So, I developed a proposal and we pitched the
administration. We got some teachers involved and onside and got
the green light and some funding.<br><br>We were to
implement access in a lab of ~15 PCs with whatever
equipment we could fit into the budget. This lab wasn't
setup yet, and when it arrived (3 months after I
started and realized how little the computer teachers
knew) I pitched to set the lab up myself. I managed to
convince them of that, too, so I ended up implementing a
NetWare 3.12 network and Internet access for 1500
students and staff.<br><br>I then took over and redesigned
the big, 100 PC lab in the computer department. After
that I pitched a migration to Windows 95 and NT, and
an upgrade of the Internet service, and ended up
doing that too. I then served as a lead and supervisor
of 5 other students in daily administration of this
network.<br><br>After 3 years of working full-time at low paying jobs
during High School while gaining technical skills, I
decided, halfway through Grade 12, to see what I could
grab in the IS field. I printed a number of resumes,
one of my friends took one and left it laying around
the house, and his neighbour, who owns a contracting
company, saw it and decided he had to hire me. So, I
dropped out halfway through Grade 12 and started working
1 year ago as of April.<br><br>I actually don't
have my high school diploma yet (one standardized exam
and one course short), and I haven't had the time to
bother so far. I'm taking university courses at a
university with lax entrance requirements (but still
accredited; here in Canada degree mills can't call themselves
universities), and I'm way past the point where anyone notices
if there's a high school diploma or not. I'll do it
anyway, of course, but. . .whatever.<br><br>Anyway, I
found myself making a lot of money, bought a fast car,
ate out all the time, etc. Then I decided this was a
tremendous waste of a tremendous amount of money, sold the
car, and bought a house two months ago. I don't take
possession for another 1.5 yrs as it's a new highrise condo
downtown and they tend to take a while to
build.<br><br>But, that's it. I'm an anamoly, though. Nobody else I
went to school with has achieved on the level I'm at,
although about 20% of them are at big ticket universities.
It's like a competition between me and them, now. :)
But I've always liked risk, I've always liked the
alternate path, and I've always been driven. Like you said,
benefits of the gifted..

was bored off and on in the regular classroom,
mostly because I had teachers, off and on, who
understood me and did not. I remember (vaguely) when I was
in grades 1/2 being very challenged, and almost
feeling like I couldn't do it and that everyone else was
better than I was. Maybe they were all raving geniuses,
or maybe I just didn't know how to use my
potential.<br><br>When I got back in the regular stream I had a teacher
who didn't know what to do with me. I have a hard
time remembering, but I think I did my work pretty
quickly and then just sat around. I remember working
ahead in the spelling primer but generally I learned to
just not do anything. Other kids would work really
hard for esteem or recognition; I would rather just
not do the work with the realization that the esteem
was just bait.<br><br>In Grade 3 my teacher was,
well, not very good. She tried to stimulate me by
providing some advanced material but it didn't interest me.
It was just more of the same. Grade 4 (last year in
a regular program) brought a teacher who
understood, I think. I was allowed to do whatever I wanted
after I got my work done, he got me involved in special
projects, used what I knew in order to help others in the
class succeed, and let me play with the computer in the
library. So, 1 of 3 knew how to deal with me and were
beneficial. The rest of the time I think I just didn't know
what I had.<br><br>Most of the gifted program teachers
were pretty good with minor exceptions. Lots of
different styles, really. We were encouraged to learn by
ourselves but also given structure, depending on teacher
and subject. Lots of group work. Some individual
work. There was a lot of book learning but also more
viusal and lecture style. I think I got it pretty well
rounded as far as learning styles. I've never really had
much of a grasp on different learning styles because I
work well almost any way.<br><br>The one pitfall was
the focus on humanities. I remember being a raving
genius when it came to math and science, whereas now my
strong point is humanities. I think there was a lack of
balance, but on the whole I think I turned out much better
than I would have if I had been in a regular
school.<br><br>I think the biggest thing with gifted students is
giving them the opportunity to have a wide range of
experience. Encourage them to be interested in everything,
and teach them that everything is interesting. Show
them what they can see in the world. I think the rest
comes naturally when you're gifted; you want to learn.

f not has your child skipped a grade or is he trying to make due in the regular
classroom?

i<br><br>I am thrilled to have found this club.
I have a gifted son in Fourth Grade and a normally
intelligent daughter in Ninth Grade. The gifted child is a
real behavioral handful!!!! I suppose he gets bored in
class but shouldn't he be intelligent enough not to get
into trouble???? Anyone else have this
problem?<br><br>Onto the subject of my post - in grade school I did
two grades in one year - 6th and 7th - Please realize
that this was a long time ago but some things never
change - academically I never had a problem HOWEVER -
socially it was a nightmare - I went to a small private
school and the kids were very unaccepting of a new kid -
the friends I left behind in 6th grade felt a sense
of betrayal on my part - I left them - and the kids
in 7th grade also had a hard time accepting a new
kid because all the little friendship "groups" are
well developed by that grade - As the years went on it
continued to be a little difficult - as the youngest in the
class (I moved on to a public high school) - I was
behind in most everything - dating, driving - and just
the maturity factor in general - even though I was
very mature for my age - it took until college for me
to really feel I was part of the group. So if
skipping a grade ever came into the picture for my child I
would adamently say NO thank you.<br>Sorry for being so
lengthy - I'm looking forward to reading the posts
daily.<br><br>Mary Ann

ored? I realize there are some good teachers out there,
but there are also some who are not so good. In the
gifted program where teachers were interested in the
gifted student what different styles of learning did you
find?

ello, all. I'm a former gifted child, and I'd be
happy to answer any questions you might have from that
perspective. I was placed in a gifted education program after
my Kindergarten teacher recommended I be tested. I
was in that program until the 2nd grade and then out
(moved cities) until the 5th.<br><br>I never did skip a
grade, although I know some people who did. Frankly, I
don't think that skipping one grade has much of an
effect, positive or negative. Yes, your child is likely
going to fit in just fine. But if your child hasn't
developed some skills (maybe not an issue at the K-3
level), they could be left behind. Remember that gifted
doesn't necessarily mean well-rounded.<br><br>I would
work very hard on trying to find a special gifted
education program for your child. I know that when I moved
here, we didn't think there was one, and I was in a
regular classroom for about 2.5 years. I can definitely
state that there is a big difference between being
"advanced" in a regular classroom and being in a gifted
program. I do not think I would be the individual I am
today if it wasn't for teachers who were specifically
aware of and dedicated to my needs.<br><br>At any rate,
I don't want to write an essay here.. Lemme know if
you have any questions, I'll be happy to answer them
to the best of my ability.

too have the same question. My oldest daughter
will begin Kindergarten this year. She reads very well
(2nd grade level I think). Emotionally she is past the
Kindergarten level and so is her math and other skills. By the
way does anyone know how well a 2nd grader reads?

see that there have been 80 page views, but
only two messages. I would love to exchange ideas with
all of you about our kiddos.<br>My daughter is seven
years old and has been moved up to third grade. I
started this club because I am concerned about the
choices I make in her life and how they will affect her
in the future. I worry about how she will do
socially as a younger student. Has anyone done this with
their child and what were the results?<br>Hope to hear
from you,<br>Kelly

visit the gifted page at parents place often, I hope this one gets going.

am not a parent, but the next best thing...I am
a nanny to two young boys, aged 9 and 11. Both are
gifted and attend schools for gifted children, where I
volunteer on a regular basis. I was wondering what is
offered through this club (support, ideas, etc?) and any
other info.

Welcome, This is the Yahoo! Message Board for Parenting Gifted Children
community.