In the name of Allah, the Most-Merciful, the All-Compassionate
 
"May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon You"
 
Praise be to Allaah, we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with
Allaah from the evil of our own souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allaah
guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can
guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness that
Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
 
  
Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam 'ala Rasulillah
As-Salaam Alaikum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu
 



The Marriage Process in Islam
By Shaad Ahmed


Before Marrying
Selecting a Spouse
The first thing we should look for when marrying is
how committed the person is to Islam.


Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu
alayhi was sallam) said, "A woman is normally
sought as a wife for her wealth, beauty, nobility, or religiousness
(adherence to Islam), but choose a religious woman and you will
prosper." (Muslim)


And he said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family
status, her
beauty and her religion. You should marry the religious woman
(otherwise) you will be a loser."(Bukhari) And he said, "The whole world is a
provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman."
(Muslim)

The same holds true when looking for a husband, as the Messenger of Allah
(sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "When someone with whose religion and
character you are satisfied asks to
marry your daughter, comply with his request. If you do not do so, there will be
corruption and great evil on earth." (Tirmidhi)

Of course, both parties have to agree to marry one
another and they can not be forced to marry one another.

The Messenger
of Allah (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "A
woman whom has been previously married has more right concerning herself than
her guardian, and a virgins consent must be asked about herself…" (Bukhari and
Muslim)


Rules of Al-Khutbah

(Request to marry a woman and the acceptance of the proposal)

The man has permission to see her face before agreeing to marry as the Messenger
of Allah (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Go and look at her (the woman you
are considering marrying) because this will help your time together to be
strengthened." (Ahmad)

After a man and woman have agreed to marry, they have to remember that the man
is still not her mahram (men prohibited to her, including her father, brothers,
sons, maternal
and paternal uncles, and nephews). This means they can not still deal
with one another as partners in any way (such as shaking hands, gazing
at one another, being alone together, going out together, etc.), or go
out with one another as we see people in the west doing.


Prophet
Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the
Last Day, let him not have a private audience with a woman without her mahram."
(Ahmad)

The Wedding Ceremony (Nikaah)
Components

1 – Consent: Aishah (R) asked Prophet Muhammad
(sallallahu alayhi was sallam) if womem must be asked for their
permission of marriage. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam)
replied, "Yes."

She said, The virgin is asked for her permission but she gets shy. 
Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Her silence is her
permission." (Bukhari and Muslim)

2 – The Wallee (Woman’s Guardian): Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was
sallam) said, "There is no nikaah except with a wallee." (Ahmad, Abu Dawood,
Tirmidhi)

3 – Two Witnesses: Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said,
"There is no marriage except with a wallee and trustworthy witnesses." (Sahih -
Bayhaqee) Also, "There is no marriage except with a wallee and two witnesses."
(Sahih Al-Jaami’)

4 – The Mahr (Dowry): Allah says (what means): "And give to the women their
dowry with a good heart, but if they out of
their own good pleasure remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy
it without fear of any harm." (Al-Nisa 4:4)

The mahr can be of any amount, Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam)
said, "Look for one even if it was an iron ring." (Bukhari and Muslim)

The woman is not obliged to give the man anything at the time of the wedding, as
is done in some cultures.


Acts to be Avoided

We should be careful to not act as the disbelievers do regarding their mixing of
men and women, wearing tuxedos and white
wedding gowns, exchanging rings, kissing in public, etc.
Prophet
Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Whoever resembles a people is one
of them." (Abu Dawood)

After the Wedding
Supporting Ones Wife

The man is responsible for providing for his wife, as Allah says (what means),
"Let the wealthy man spend according to his means; and let the man whose
provisions are restricted spend according to what Allah has given him.
Allah does not burden a soul beyond what He has given it, and Allah will grant
ease after a hardship." (Al-Talaq 65:7)

Islam even gives women the right to take secretly
money from their husbands if the husbands are not providing for them.
Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyan, came to Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu
alayhi was sallam) and said, "O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a
stingy man and does not give me and my children enough provisions except when I
take something from him with out his knowledge." Prophet
Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Take what is reasonably
sufficient for you and your children." (Bukhari and Muslim)


Educating Ones Family

Since the man has put in the position of providing for his family, he must also
provide them with the proper Islamic education to keep them from the hellfire.


Allah says (what means), "O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families
from a fire whose
fuel is men and stones (that were worshipped), over it are appointed
angels stern and severe, who disobey not the Commands they receive from
Allah, but do that which they are commanded." (Al-Tahrim 66:6)

Both the husband and wife should make sure their home
is a place where Allah is remembered and His Commandments are reflected
and acted upon. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said,
"The similitude of a home in which Allah is remembered and a home in
which He is not is like the living and the dead." (Muslim)


The Wife Obeying Her Husband
A woman must obey her husband as long as he does not tell her to perform any
haraam (unlawful) acts.

Allah says (what means), "…the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and
guard in absence what Allah would have then guard." (Al-Nisa 4:34)


Kind Treatment To Ones Wife
Just because Allah has given men a position of
authority does not give them the right to abuse it. They have to treat
their wives in the best manner.


Allah says (what means), "Live with them honorably." (Al-Nisa 4:19)


Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "The believer with the
most complete faith is the one with the best
character, and the best of them are those whom treat their women the
best." (Tirmidhi)

We can see from the seerah (biography) of Prophet
Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) that he would help his wives
with housework and would engage in games with them as well.

source : http://www.shawuniversitymosque.org/matri/view_article.php?article_id=7
 

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