SIXTEEN BANANAS!

by fatemolla

If you meet me anytime, you may note that my left ear is little longer than
the right one. No, it is not due to a birth defect; rather, it is due to my
teachers in village-Pathshala and schools pulling at it a thousand times.

My fault? Guess. Right on! I was the famous “Last-boy”. The “First-Boy”
of the school was always a mystery--a wonder of the world to me.

Still perhaps the “Last Boy” in almost all the aspects of life, I've gotten
used to it; I don’t mind it anymore.

But a real trouble surfaced when I started writing on the
internet. I was used to writing in Bangla in newspapers and even authored a
rubbish book ( AL- BH(n)ODORER DESH ). But all writings in the net are in
English!

My English is ridiculous.

Our Universities teach us good written English for the academics, perhaps,
but the spoken variety is “Ko-Okkhor Gomangsho”. Even if you bombed the
stomach, no good English would come out. Then again, during my
extra l-o-n-g stay in the Middle East, I learnt good Arabian English. That
was like the Urdu of Joginda ( Kobiguru). Joginda's Urdu was so far off from
real Urdu that “Ta Chhara Taar Urdu Shune Keho...Urdu Bole-i Korle-na
Shondeho” !!

I was used to garlanding my Bangla writings with many quotes from
Kobiguru-Nazrul-Jibonanondo-Kalidas-Chorjapod-Doha-Sanskrit-Mohavarot-Ramayan-Sh\
ahir
Ludhianvi- Kaifi Azmi- Jane Nisar-Faiz Ahmed Faiz-Omar
Khyaam-Hafiz-Rumi-Maalkosh-Mollar-Kanara- Ektaal-Tritaal, et.al.

Now in English how could I spell those out, when my basic
expression, choice of words, construction of sentences in English are all
so poor! Oh, poor fatemolla!

I feel shy when I read all the incredibly beautiful expressions of some
BD-writers. But still I want to express myself. I want to remind others of
the “Kaal Ratri” of 25th March, convey “Mohakaler Daak” to my countrymen,
write on all those “Durgom Potho Jatri” of morals and ethics. I want to
explain the “Ovishopto Ocholoyaton” of some “religious” social evils in my
beloved country. In my writing I want to shove a “Bamboo” to the Go-Azams.
And if there is an “”Ilish-Powder Rain”” (Ilshe-Guri Bristi), I want to be
wrapped in “Lep-Muri” with Muri-Bhaja.

I want to see the dear faces of my brothers/sisters, who are Part Of My
Liver ( Koljer Tukra). I want to fry different “”Varendas”” in innocent
enjoyment, in "Bhajanong Bhojonong Jotro Totro, Shoyonong Hotto
Mondire”. And I want to do it humbly because, “Ma Kuru Dhono Jono Joubono
Gorbong,,
Horoti Nimeshath Kaalong Shorbong” ( Be not proud of wealth,
subordinates and youth. Time snatches away everything in a twinkle”).

I want to dream about complete communal harmony back to BD, and see my dream
“Sixteen Banana complelete", “Sholokola Purno”.