[See Video on the web site. http://martysjotd.blogspot.com ]

Ok, after seeing that, I guess we all make mistakes. I had a funeral to
go to today. On my "out of office" notice on my email, and voice mail,
I said I would return on Tuesday, April 1st. D'oh... I meant Tuesday
the 25th.

But, at least I'm not running for president touting all of my
experience...

Oh well.

Marty

3/18 - Count your blessings
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What? Is this 3 issues in 1 week??

That's got to be a record!

Son #4 went skiing today with the Utah School for the blind. They go
every Tuesday this year, and I even got to go with them last week.
Fun fun!

Now, there's a little boy in Son #4's school who's a year younger
than son #4. They ride the bus to and from school together, and
they've become fast friends. Both have had brain tumors, (apparently
Gabe still does) and both are legally blind. But, today Gabe didn't
go skiing with the school. He's in St. George. Yes, he's in warm
sunny St. George on a fully paid vacation with his family. Not only
a vacation, but while they are gone, they're getting a brand new
house built! Monday son #4's class got to go see Gabe's house
demolished, and within a week, he'll have a brand new home in the
same spot. Sort of like a local home make-over on steroids. Son #4
and Gabe even got to sit on the back of the fire truck and spray
water at the house!

Ok, least you think these guys are "lucky" to have received a brand
new home, count your own blessings. There is always someone who is
luckier than you, and then there is always someone who isn't as
lucky as you. I don't think I'd trade their problems for mine in a
heartbeat. I don't think you would either after you read their story;

[See all links and photos on the web site]
ABC News Story

Salt Lake Tribune Story

Taylorsville/Kearns Journal front page story

Heart 2 Home Project

Home building project Live Camera

Like I said before, count your blessings...
Enjoy Today's Jokes
Marty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, March 17, 2008
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy St. Patty's day to `ya!

Leave it to those Mormons...
B'gora, he's Irish!

<a
href="http://wwwimage.cbsnews.com/images/2007/05/16/image2819389g.jpg"
><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;"
src="http://wwwimage.cbsnews.com/images/2007/05/16/image2819389g.jpg"
border="0" alt="" /></a>

PROVO, UTAH – May 3, 2007 — <a
href="http://www.Ancestry.com">Ancestry.com</a>, the world's largest
online resource for family history, is now able to confirm that U.S.
presidential hopeful <a
href="http://www.answerology.com/index.aspx/question/2310592_Bgora--
Hes-Irish.html">Barack Obama's Irish ancestors</a> originated in
Moneygall and neighboring Shinrone in County Offaly, Ireland.

So, I guess it's now "Barack O'Bama"

Anyay, yesterday our home teachers came over. It was kind of a short
visit, and a short lesson. Before they left, son #4 spied a Braille
card that he got from school, and wanted to show the home teachers.
It listed the alphabet in Braille, along with the numbers. They asked
if he could read the card. (He's just learning, and can make out some
letters). So, he grabbed the card, and with confidence started saying
the alphabet. "A...B...C...!!" and then proceeded to rub his fingers
over the letters. It was almost like he knew what came next.

Enjoy
Marty

<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

Here's something a funny that I heard in church yesterday. They were
talking about Matthew 6:19, "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon
earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break
through and steal."

The speaker used this story;

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie"
value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZK2SLl1dY7k&hl=en"></param><param
name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed
src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZK2SLl1dY7k&hl=en" type="application/x-
shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425"
height="355"></embed></object>


"The car was disinterred on Friday, found in four feet of water,
almost completely rusted, with flat tires and rotting upholstery.
Apparently, 1950s preservation technology could not withstand the
ravage of five decades of weather and bad drainage. The postcards
from contestants guessing the city's population survived undamaged in
a sealed steel capsule."

<a href="http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb34/crablogic/Buried%
20Belvedere/Dsc08972.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer;
cursor:hand;width: 400px;"
src="http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb34/crablogic/Buried%
20Belvedere/Dsc08972.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>

<a href="http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb34/crablogic/Buried%
20Belvedere/DSC_CrabMan.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer;
cursor:hand;width: 400px;"
src="http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb34/crablogic/Buried%
20Belvedere/DSC_CrabMan.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>
And the winner is... Not happy?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remember me? Hope so.

Ever since just before Christmas 3 months ago, I've been holding my
breath. I haven't been a very good husband or father, or blogger for
that matter. I was really really worried about son #4's "lit up" area
on his tumor bed last MRI. Several of you wrote to say, "we miss you,
how's #4?" Today we know.

We didn't get much sleep last night, and drove to the hospital in
numbed silence, knowing what the results could be. I filled out all
of the paperwork, having memorized it from the numerous times I've
filled it out before.

The radiologist told us, "The lit up white area in his tumor bed from
Decembers MRI was just... `technical'". Meaning, the MRI had a
glitch, the tech may have had more contrast media (stuff they put in
the blood that shows up better on the MRI), or any of a hundred other
variables that go on during a MRI.

So, now we can start our life again, and get things back to normal.
Thanks for your prayers.

Now, how about a little hospital humor?

Enjoy today's jokes!
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comments
I want to know how you and your family are doing.  It has been a
while since we have heard from you.  I pray for you and your family
every day.  Just put out a notice that you are still around.
Claudia P.
_________________________________________________________
¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.

Doctor: How do you feel?

Patient: A little down in the mouth.


<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

I am always getting those return address labels from charities
wanting money.

The other day, I got one from an Alzheimer's group. Funny though,
they forgot to put my street name on them!

_________________________________________________________
¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, "I
can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to
drinking."

"In that case," said the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I got an email from our Ward Choir pianist this morning. What a great
story behind the hymn that the tabernacle choir sang at President
Hinckley's funeral last Saturday.
=-=-=-
Forwarded email from Janice Kapp Perry;
During President Hinckley's funeral, the Tabernacle Choir will be
singing a hymn with text written by President Hinckley, which I set
to music in December. I would like to share the story of it with you:

About two months before my niece Kathy Blacker died, on January 11,
2008, she found a three-verse poem by President Hinckley among her
files. Although she was resigned to dying, she had some fears about
the dying process and his words greatly comforted her especially the
second verse, which described exactly what she was feeling. She wrote
to Pres. Hinckley's office to ask permission to have the poem printed
on her funeral program, and she received a very nice letter from his
secretary Don H. Staheli saying that President Hinckley gave his
permission for her to do so. The letter also conveyed some very
comforting words from Pres. Hinckley which were helpful to helpful to
Kathy in her final weeks, and he said he would remember Kathy in his
prayers.

Then Kathy suggested that I write and ask permission to give the poem
a hymn setting. I did so, and Brother Staheli conveyed President
Hinckley's permission for me to write the hymn. After offering some
heartfelt prayers that I might be able to write appropriate music for
his profoundly beautiful and moving text, I wrote the hymn setting
and sent a copy to President Hinckley's office for approval at the
end of December. I received no immediate response.

Kathy passed away January 11 and after her funeral I sent a copy of
her funeral program to President Hinckley's office so he could see
how nicely his poem was displayed along side my brother Gary Kapp's
painting of Christ.
When I heard President Hinckley had passed away last Sunday night I
was feeling a little sad to think I hadn't received a letter with his
official approval. But the very next day after his passing, the hoped-
for letter arrived with his approval, his permission for me to
publish it in a future volume of my series Inspirational New Hymns
for Choir and Home, and leaving it to my discretion as to whether to
submit it to the Church Music Division. The timing was so unusual and
I was extremely grateful to receive the letter as a tender mercy in
my life.

Then on Monday afternoon Craig Jessop, Tabernacle Choir Director,
heard about the hymn and had his office call me to obtain a copy of
the hymn for consideration for President Hinckley's funeral. On
Tuesday, while traveling in California, I learned that the hymn would
be performed by The Tabernacle Choir at President Hinckley's funeral
on Saturday.

Having seen the great comfort this hymn brought to my niece who died
just two weeks before President Hinckley passed away, my great desire
is for people throughout the world to have a free copy of these
magnificent words of President Hinckley to comfort them in times of
the loss of loved ones. This is just one more way his influence could
be felt down through time.
Janice Kapp Perry – Jan 2008
[Sheet music on-line]

Enjoy
Marty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, January 28, 2008
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The other night my sweet wife was sick, and wanted me to tuck the
boys into bed. We have a deal with son #4, that if he gets to bed
before his bedtime, then we'll read him a story. That night he did. I
told him I'd either read him a short story, or tell him one of three
stories; The 3 little pigs, little red riding hood, or the 3 Billy
goats gruff.

He thought for a moment and said, "Dad, I want a new story. Why don't
you tell me the one about the 3 little wolves, and the big fat pig."
Every once in awhile, a dad has to pull something out of his hat, and
I came through with flying colors. I said something about, "I'll oink
and I'll oink and I sit on your house bad..."

Not anything like the Grimm brothers, but close enough.

<a
href="http://www.onlinekunst.de/februarzwei/24/doppelportrait_grimm.jp
g"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px;"
src="http://www.onlinekunst.de/februarzwei/24/doppelportrait_grimm.jpg
" border="0" alt="" /></a>
The Brothers Grimm

We're still battling the stupid raccoons in the attic. I called the
county, and they were out of traps, so I finally caved and bought my
own $51 trap. They say the best thing to do is to put a twinkie in
there, with some vanilla flavoring to attract them. Then son #3
wanted to know why the raccoons got twinkies, and all of the boys
didn't. So, I had to promise that I'd give them a twinkie when we got
the coon. He also asked what we were going to do with the raccoon
when we got it. "You're not going to kill it are you?" He seemed
genuinely concerned. I told him that we'd call animal control and
they would come pick it up. "But," I said, "We could tan it and make
a coonskin cap if you wanted..." His eyes got really big, "REALLY!?"

I guess it's just how you present it.

Enjoy the Jokes
Marty

p.s. Good bye President Hinckley, we'll miss you!

Here's one of my favorite quotes from him;
"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of
time running around shouting that he's been robbed. The fact is that
most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to
be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of
mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise.
Life is like an old time journey...delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust,
cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful
vistas, and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord
for letting you have the ride." ~~President Gordon B Hinckley,
prophet and president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day
Saints

=-=-=-
Reader comments;
Oh, man!  I hear ya, brother!  We have a KFC buffet in a
neighborhood where I used to live.  I had to move from
that neighborhood just to save myself!  All that bad
food, and lots of it!  All the extra crispy you want,
WITH the noodles and dumplings and sweet potatoes,
for one price?  Get behind me, Satan!

  --  Jeff G., Pottsburgh
<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

Just a few weeks after taking a job as a security guard, my
husband announced that he had been fired. He explained that
he'd fallen asleep at this desk and someone broke into the
building.

"But you're such a light sleeper," I said. "I'm surprised the
sound of the guy breaking in didn't wake you up."

"I didn't get fired for falling asleep," he confessed, "I was
fired for wearing my earplugs."


<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

"I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud,
but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without
doing any productive work or contributing anything to society,
my reaction is: 'How can I get in on that?'" --Dave Barry


<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one
of our employees. After reviewing the different plans and
monthly deductions, he decided to max out, choosing $100,000
worth of life insurance. But he had one last question.

"Now," he said, "what do I have to do to collect the money?"

****************************************************************
Don't Forget to Read my BLOG at
http://martysjotd.blogspot.com/

If you'd like to receive daily emails from us, send a
blank email to martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or
visit http://www.egroups.com/group/martysjotd

****************************************************************

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, January 21, 2008
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At one of the last Scout campouts, the other 2 leaders and I were
talking about technology. One of the guys usually gets the latest
and greatest stuff. I, on the other hand, like to use old stuff.
(Case in point, everyone else was walking about in space-age snow
gear, and I was walking around in gators that I bought in high
school.) Anyway, I finally upgraded the Palm Pilot that I've had for
at least 4 years. I bought a brand spank'n new PalmOne Treo 600. Ok,
it wasn't brand new. I think they are on the 750s or 800 series by
now, but this is just like buying a car or a computer. If you buy
older stuff (year old car, year old computer technology, 2 or 3 year
old phones) and they are WAY less expensive. Good thing, because the
market is going to crap out this week. <-- predictions by Marty. So,
my phone/palm is pretty cool, even though it was someone else's, and
it's old and scratched. It works great!

Did I tell you I started school again? I'm taking Anatomy and
Physiology. (Not a fun class. The teacher is poor, and the subject
matter dry. But, hey, its more education right?) And, I decided to
take something that interests me; Business. So, I found a class that
a friend of mine, who's in my Bishopric, is teaching. He's really a
great teacher, and I really like the class. If I hadn't seen dollar
signs, and a quick easy way to make a buck in computers, I think I'd
have gone into Business or Finance as a career. But, learning is a
life long process, no?

This weekend, my mom (who has been singing barbershop music for
almost 40 years) told me about the Utah Youth in Harmony festival.
It's where youth get together as a choir and learn barbershop music.
Then, they put on a performance that night. Sons #2 and #3 went with
me. I wasn't a member of either of the men's groups represented
there, but I asked if I could sing along just as "a dad". They
said "absolutely". Most of the youth were High School age, some were
Jr. High, and a handful were from elementary school. Son #3 was the
youngest in the choir. After almost 8 hours of rehearsal time, we
could all sing barbershop, and put on a pretty good performance.
Both boys complained during that day that they didn't want to stay,
but by the end, they said they had a great time. So afterwards, I
took them to a KFC buffet dinner that night. (Which is just wrong...
all that bad food, and a lot of it...) We at the at the "World first
KFC" in Salt Lake. It was great.

This week we also got son #4 measured for his new hair piece. They
decided they were going to shave off some of the thin hair around
his bald spot, and make one hairpiece about 1/4 the size of his
head. I'll let you know how that goes.

So, it's been a good week.

Enjoy Today's Jokes
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comments
None

=-=-=-

The human body is a machine that is full of wonder.
This collection of human body facts will leave you wondering why in
the heck we were designed the way we were.

-Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream.

-The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the
smallest is the male sperm.

-You use 200 muscles to take one step.

-The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.

-Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.

-A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.

-A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.

-The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.

-The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the
Encyclopedia Britannica.

-It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your
stomach.

-The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.

-Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis
of the liver than men with hair.

-At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a
single cell.

-There is about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

-Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a
gallon of water to a boil.

-The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.

-Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born

-When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and
they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.

-Your thumb is the same length of your nose.

At this very moment I know full well you are putting this last fact
to the test...now remove your thumb from your nose and pass this on
to the friends you think might be interested in comparing their
thumbs to their noses as well ......

#1 Mom

=-=-=-

APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER
OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH; ADAGE

[better known as a tagline...]
[I like #12]

1.  The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts
tomorrow.

2.  Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag
his tail.

3.  If you don't have a sense of humor , you probably don't have any
sense at all.

4.  Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5.  A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6.  How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of
the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7.  Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how
many people a company can operate without.

8.  Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone
else looks?

9.  Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

10.  No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy
a car.

11.  There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12.  There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number
at 4 AM. Like this: It could be a right number.

13.  No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

14.  I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

15.  Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going
to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same
size bucket.

17.  Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of
old ladies running around with tattoos?  (And rap music will be the
Golden Oldies!)

18.  Money can't buy happiness - but somehow it's more comfortable
to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

19.  After 50 if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are
probably dead.

=-=-=-

Politicians have a constant need to be diplomatic. Witness this
candidate for the Senate who traveled to a small town community to
address the single church there. Unfortunately, he had forgotten to
ask which denomination so that when it was time for his speech, he
inquired in this way:

My brethren, all. I must tell you that my great Grandfather was
Presbyterian (absolute silence); but my Grandmother was an
Episcopalian (more silence); I must tell you that my other
Grandfather was a Catholic (deep silence); while my other
Grandmother was Methodist (continued silence).

But I must tell you that I had an aunt who was a Baptist (loud
cheers!) ...and I have always considered my aunt's path to be the
right one!"

~Wanda D.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, January 14, 2008
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The other day I told you that son #1 got Guitar Hero III for his
birthday. Sons #1, #3, #4, and I have all been playing it a lot.
(Son #2 still has some homework issues he's working on...) But, I
forgot to tell you the other day that we might be playing it a
little too much. When son #4 got on his school for the blind bus
last week, he was singing "Hit me with your best shot" (Pat Benatar -
  1979). The driver looked at him a little weird, but didn't say
anything.

And, with son #1 it's kinda funny. We have a rule that he can't go
over to a girl's house for movies, party, or whatever, unless there
are other girls and guys in attendance. Once we gave him the rule,
he's been a real stickler about it. And even though we've now given
him the green light (with rules) to date, he's still a little
apprehensive. He has two girls picked out for his first date, but
doesn't want to offend his 2nd choice, so he's waiting a month or
two until everyone is 16 so he can double date. He's very cautious
and meticulous about things. So, it's kinda of funny that mild-
mannered son #1, would be such a wild-boy on Guitar Hero III.

He just amazes me when he plays this song.

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie"
value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IBJaNg17yKA&rel=1"></param><param
name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed
src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IBJaNg17yKA&rel=1" type="application/x-
shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425"
height="355"></embed></object>

He hasn't gotten as good as the guy in the video, but he's almost
got the song down. At least he hasn't grown his hair out long and
asked for tattoos!

And speaking of hair...
Since son #4's radiology treatment back in December of 2005, he's
had two large bald spots on the back/side of his head ever since.
Now he balks at getting a haircut, and doesn't like the bald spots.
(He's got comb-over, but it looks funny if you look closely). Hair
Club for kids will donate hair pieces for him until he's 18. So, we
have an appointment on Thursday. My kid gets a hairpiece before I
do! (hehehe)

Enjoy Today's Jokes
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comments

Say, Mr. Osmond---

What you do is, you buy the kid a keyboard and a boom box that hooks
together and get him to teach himself how to play anything he hears
off the radio, then tape it and play more over that. Then when he
gets good on both instruments (and the girls hear him) you can have
him make some records. Not a lot. Just enough to pay for your
retirement home by the lake. And another one in the Caribbean.
All the best to your family, especially your son with the meidcal
problems.

Jeff G., Pittsburgh, PA

[grin]

Hey Marty --
We have wassail every year at the same Christmas party – Yucky drink
as far as I'm concerned!! Maybe if we were people who drank alcohol
we'd like it -- but not so! We always ask for the drink w/o anything
added. My husband always drinks the wassail - perhaps he's just
being polite.. Loved your jokes tonight - I heard the one about the
little boy who stole baby Jesus and was giving Him a ride in his new
red wagon -- enjoyed reading it again. Thanks #1 Mom I really
appreciate the updates on your younger son -- I've prayed for him
many times and will continue to do so. Take care and have a great
day –
Sincerely - Cathy M~

[thanks]


RE: Look-alikes
I happen to think that you're better looking than all of them.  But
then, you look like me.  I was disappointed that you didn't include
the picture of the guy in the Vonage ad.  I still think that is you.

BTW my computer is back.  (The painter) had just unplugged the power
strip and just plugged it in again.  So all you will have to do on
Saturday is hook up my Wii.  BTW the AARP newspaper says Wii sales
are high among us old folks.  So I was wrong.  I have not yet
reached my technological acme!!!!!!
Love, Mom

[Yeah, but I still beat you bowling last night! First time!!]

=-=-=-

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because
she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time.
The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it
felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new
husband's occupation.

"He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting," the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about
her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those
years.

After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered
proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was
in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later
on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral
director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and ask her why she
had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the
show, three to get ready, and four to go!"
~Jan D.

=-=-=-

A photographer for a national news magazine was assigned to get
photos of a big forest fire. The smoke at the scene was too thick to
get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire
a plane. It will be waiting for you at the airport. he was assured
by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure
enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with
his equipment and yelled, Let's go, Let's go! The pilot swung the
plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. Fly over the
north side of the fire, said the photographer, and make three or
four low level passes. Why? asked the pilot. Because I'm going to
take pictures. I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!
said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience. After
a long pause the pilot said, You mean you're not my instructor?
~Kobus B.

=-=-=-
An oldie but goodie;

Actual Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays.

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides
gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances
like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like
a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without
one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the
country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a
solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-
temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog
makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a
surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag
filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an
eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city
and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when
you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced
across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains,
one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the
other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who
had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was
the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap,
only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike
Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck,
either, but a real duck that was actually lame.  Maybe from stepping
on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender
leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around
with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard
bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

26. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put
in any pH cleanser.

27. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

28. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple
it to the wall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thursday, January 10, 2008
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was looking at some of the stats for the web site and looking at
where people come from. A couple of people who came to my site from a
family website called the "Wacky Tenny's." They've got me listed as a
favorite site! Yipee! Which reminds me. I need to update my links...
Hopefully, by the time you read this, I should have them updated,
over there on the right. I've been meaning to do that for awhile,
thanks for the reminder Tenny Family!

Anyway, here's a couple of cool links I found there.

Here's one that shows what kind of celebrity I look like. (How do
they do it??)

[web – http://martysjotd.blogspot.com]

And here's one of me morphing into some guy named Kim Rossi Stuart.
(Whoever the heck that is... But, hey, he's almost as good looking as
me, right?) If you want to try some for yourself, just click on the
picture somewhere.

[web – http://martysjotd.blogspot.com]

But, I guess I should knock myself down a peg or two, least I get a
big head... Son #1 got Guitar Hero III for the Wii, for his birthday.
This boy is absolutely awesome at that game. It amazes me how fast
his fingers fly on the play guitar. I started out on 'Easy' mode, and
have mastered a few 'Medium' songs, but he can play most of the songs
on 'Hard' mode.

There's got to be some way to turn that energy into something
productive... Hmm...

Enjoy the Jokes
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comments

Marty, what is "wassail"
From Amber;

Happy to Educate the populace Amber...
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wassail">Wassail</a>
(pronounced wossayl or woss'l)[1] is a hot, spiced punch often
associated with winter celebrations of northern Europe, usually those
connected with holidays such as Christmas, New Year's and Twelfth
Night. Particularly popular in Germanic countries, the term itself is
a contraction of the Old English toast wæs þu hæl, or "be thou hale!"
(i.e., "be in good health"). Alternate expressions predating the
term, with approximately the same meaning, include both the Old Norse
ves heill and Old English wæs h&#257;l.

=-=-=-

The Navajo Times reporter was inquiring as to the secret of the long
and happy marriage of Chiizhee and Rita.....

Chiizhee replied: Well, it dates back to our honeymoon at the Grand
Canyon . We took a trip down to the bottom of the Canyon by mule.

We didn't go too far when Shi Heart's mule stumbled and she almost
fell off.

Shi Heart looked down at the mule and quietly said, "That's once."

We went a little further and her mule stumbled again. Once more Shi
Heart quietly said, "That's twice."

We got about a half-mile when the mule stumbled for the third time.
Shi Heart quietly removed a pistol from her boot and shot the mule
dead.

I SHOUTED at her, "What's wrong with you, woman! You're freakin
crazzeee!" She looked at ME, and quietly said,  "That's once."

"And from THAT moment.....we have lived happily ever after."

From and Indian Co-Worker;

<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco .
The pastor of the church was looking at the manger scene when
he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from the cradle.
He immediately turned and went outside and saw a little boy
with a red wagon walking down the street. And in the wagon was the
figure of the infant Jesus. So he walked up to the boy and said
"Son, where did you get that little baby Jesus that is in your wagon?"
The little boy replied, "I got him from the church."
"And why did you take him?" asked the pastor.
The little boy replied, "Well about a week before Christmas, I prayed
to the little Lord Jesus. I told him if he would bring me a red wagon
for
Christmas, I would give him a ride around the block in it."
~#1 Mom

<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

Dija ever have one of those days?

[Video on web – http://martysjotd.blogspot.com]

****************************************************************
Don't Forget to Read my BLOG at
http://martysjotd.blogspot.com/

If you'd like to receive daily emails from us, send a
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visit http://www.egroups.com/group/martysjotd

****************************************************************

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, January 07, 2008
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Boy oh boy, lots to update you on!

Let's start with Christmas shopping. [This story reminds me way back
in the summer of 2004, when we went to Lake Tahoe for vacation, and
I tried to teach the boys a great lesson. [link on web]  Plus check
out the link to `the sign' to see a sweet picture of son #4 3 1/2
years ago!]

This Christmas season the hot item is the Nintendo Wii game system.
My sweet wife and I had been looking for one off and on for months.
We didn't look super hard, but always had our eyes open, but never
could find one. Because son #4 had his MRI exactly one week before
Christmas, we wanted to get everything "done" before we found out
the results of the MRI, just in case. We had resigned ourselves to
the fact that we weren't going to find a Wii system this year.
(Darn! They look so cool too...)

So, we went shopping and decided to get 3 of the boys a Nintendo DS
lite game system. These little things are so cool, you can play them
alone, with each other wirelessly, over a wireless network, and even
hook up to the Nintendo Wii gaming system. (Dang, if we only could
find a Wii system!) We decided on the DS because son #4 already got
one as a gift when we went to the Hanna Montana Concert, and
everyone in the house loved it. (And no, we didn't have to lie to
win tickets, saying my father died in Iraq. My dad's death on
Christmas day two years ago was excitement enough for me. And as
long as I'm digressing... We pulled off Christmas dinner at our
house this year! Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, and nobody died!]

Anyway, back to my story; My sweet wife and I found ourselves at a
placed called Game Crazy. We found 3 Nintendo DS systems, a game
each, and a couple of games for a giving tree project at work. I'm
pretty quick at math, and we had a (loose) budget to work with for
Christmas, so I knew pretty close to what the total would be. After
an hour in the store, we were at the checkout line. There was a new
guy running the register who had to ask the manager different
questions about everything. To make a long story short, he rang us
up and told me the total. I said, "That doesn't sound like the right
amount." He said he was sure it was. The manager was standing there
and I said, "Are you sure you guys charged me enough?" He joked and
said, "You guys could give us a huge tip if you want." I smiled and
waited a few more minutes before the clerk handed me my receipt. I
looked at it and said, "No, look, you only charged me for 2 DS
systems, not 3." We had to wait an additional 15 minutes in line,
with the manager calling the main office, filling out paperwork,
trying to undo what the new kid had done. Though I left there $120
lighter in the pocket, I have a clear conscience.

That was a few days before son #4's MRI, and we were completely done
with getting ready for Christmas. The Thursday after the MRI, I was
attending a meeting and had my laptop set up. I was talking with a
guy next to me about Wii systems, and he said he wanted to get one,
but had no idea where to look. I told him about wiitracker.com and
showed him the site. (Ok, this was a boring meeting) Low and behold,
wiitracker.com had found some available at ToysRUs.com (But only if
you paid for overnight shipping.) I jumped at the chance. (That's
the package I told you about, that I was expecting on Friday, or
Saturday before Christmas. It was finally delivered late Christmas
Eve.) Now, we have wii!

My #1 mom got to play one at my brother's house before Thanksgiving
in California, and then our system after Christmas. She liked it so
much that she ended up buying one on-line, saying, "...it's supposed
to be good exercise." I think she just likes beating me bowling...
My Brother-in-law-with-4-kids-who-lives-across-the-valley-from-us
also got a wii for Christmas. All of the cousins have tons of fun
playing each other. My Rocket-Scientist-Brother-in-law-from-
California-who-has-3-kids got to play ours while he was here. His
family wants one really bad, (especially my sister-in-law, who
apparently rocks at Guitar Hero) but he kept saying, "I don't have
any time for one!" We know, Roy, you really do want one... [I can
see him rolling his eyes as he reads this...] They are available
from wiitracker.com as I type... (Grin)

Rib'n aside. What made me go so over my Christmas budget this year?
I guess it's a combination of things. Looking forward, we're only
going to have 3 more Christmas seasons, at most, with the boys at
home. It's kind of sad to think about it. Son #1 will be turning 19,
and will hopefully choose an LDS mission. Two years after that, it
will be son #2's turn. And, we all know that anything can happen
with our health... Things are good right this second, and I'm a bit
apprehensive of what might happen in the future. I just want to have
time stop for awhile.

I like the statement; "Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The
closer you get to the end, the faster it goes!"

When the New Year gets here, I hear people say, "I don't make
resolutions, because I can never keep them." This year I'm going to
at least try. Here are my goals; I lost a total of 28 pounds, but
with Thanksgiving in Chicago, and Christmas and New Years just after
that, I've gained 6 back. A struggle, but I'm going to stick with
it. I also decided to read the scriptures on a more regular basis.
I've started with the New Testament, in Matthew. So far so good. For
my last resolution, I decided to go back to College... again. I've
signed up for an anatomy class, strictly for work (they'll pay 100%)
and a business class, just because it sounded interesting. (I think
work will pay 70%). So, New Year is a time to at least try to
improve yourself. What will you do to improve yourself?

And, one funny thing that I remember from the holidays; Every year
we go to the in-laws on Christmas eve. We carol, have hot wassail,
and perform the Christmas pageant while reading from the Bible. Son
#4 told my sweet wife that he wanted to play one of the wise men
this year, so he could give baby Jesus presents of, "Gold
Frankenstein and Fur".

Well, almost...

Enjoy Today's Jokes
Marty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saturday, , , December 22, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arrgg... Technology can sometimes be frustrating!

Thursday during the day, I scored big. Really big. I'll have to tell
you about it after Tuesday, least prying little eyes read my blog!

Then, Thursday night I wanted to post on the blog what the doctors
had said at the brain tumor clinic.

Here's what I wrote then;

=-=-=-
It's as I expected. My sweet wife went to Brain Tumor clinic with son
#4. She said they were the first to arrive, and the last to leave.
She said the oncologist spoke with the radiologist for quite some
time before he came in and spoke to my wife. He said pretty much the
same thing that the radiologist told use on Tuesday; that the large
white area on the tumor bed was unusual, that it could turn into
something bad, but that it could also be nothing. Wonderful. Wait
Watch and Worry. (WWW). We asked him  when the next MRI should be. (I
was on the phone listening while he spoke to my sweet wife.) He said
wait 3 months, not 2, not 4. I guess that's not bad, but not good,
and it's better than hearing, "we need to go into surgery right
now..."
=-=-=-

So, that's what I started to write on Thursday. After that I was
feeling a little rambunctious. I had heard something on the radio
that I wanted to spout about, I had lined up 3 or 4 videos to post
for you guys, I had several links to political sights, and was just
starting to get things uploaded to the blog site.

That night we had one of the cousins over for a sleep over, everyone
was playing on the computers, playing video games, watching the big
screen, whooping it up having a good time in the other room, and I
also had my space heater on. We also were having one of the biggest
snow storms of the year. (at least 2 feet at our house).

Then all of a sudden I heard a "POP"...

And nothing...

Blackness...

Power out...

In our back yard, the neighbors had lights. Lights were on across the
street. Neighbors to one side and the other were also on. I checked
out fuses inside, and nothing was tripped. I called the power
company, and she suggested checking the main breaker. I had no idea
there was a main breaker, but that's what it was. Too much power, and
then something (my heater?) caused a power spike.

So, I lost my entire blog post. Oh well...

But, here's what else gripes me...

Remember I told you I scored big on Thursday? I paid for (before
noon),  for overnight shipping on a certain item. My little puny
brain would think, hmm... pay for overnight shipping on Thursday, get
your package on Friday.

Not so fast. ToysRUs used the ol, "shipping starts when your item
leaves the warehouse."

Wonderful. Strike one.

But, it does leave the warehouse on Friday at 1PM. Cool, overnight
shipping, that means I'll get it Saturday.

But check this out

[web picture]

The package left their warehouse in Columbus Ohio at 1pm Friday, it
arrived in Memphis Friday night at 11pm, it leaves Memphis for Salt
Lake at 3:45am Saturday. Then it arrives in Salt Lake sort facility
Saturday morning at 6:45am, and gets put on the delivery truck at
8:24am. So far so good. It rides around the truck most of the day,
and at 1:10pm gets taken back to the FedEx warehouse. The
reason? "Package not due for delivery". Argg... strike two!

Apparently "standard overnight" isn't the same thing as "standard
overnight with Saturday delivery." D'oh. So there my prized package
sits, in the FedEx warehouse for 2 more days because ToysRUs didn't
pay for Saturday delivery.

Yes, I called. They said they'd try to credit me the shipping costs.
But it has to go through their red tape bureaucracy first.

So, FedEx and ToysRUs didn't meet my expectations so far. Let's hope
things go better on Monday.

Merry Christmas!
Marty


****************************************************************
Don't Forget to Read my BLOG at
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****************************************************************

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remember the Chili's nights I told you to go to, where Chili's
donated all of their profits for that night to St. Judes
Children's Hospital? Well, St. Judes took all of that money an
built a building...

   "When construction began on the Chili's Care Center in 2004, the
   building was a vision on paper. It took hundreds of people to
   create that vision and turn it into reality for the patients,
   researchers, faculty and staff of St. Jude Children's Research
   Hospital. November 2007 welcomes the Chili's Care Center to the
   St. Jude campus."
   [Full Story see web]

Anyway, you guys are going to have to keep going to Chili's. At
least for us. We got some good news and some bad news with #4's
MRI today. The 2 spots that they found in October were still the
same size. They didn't move and didn't grow. I still think they
are cauterized vessels from the original surgery or something.
However, they did see a much larger area on his tumor bed that
'lit up' when they scanned it. The Radiologist said it was
probably scar tissue, but that it was unusual to light up because
scar tissue is supposed to fade away over time. He said there was
no dense material or anything in the lit up area, but he said that
we should watch it because the area had changed from the last
scan. He also said we need to keep an eye on the original two
spots they're looking at.

So, it's the WWW for us. (Wait Watch and Worry)

I work with 2 Radiologists who read hundreds of studies each day.
And, most of the doctors who receive the reports pretty much tell
the patients exactly what's in the report. So, when we have Brain
Tumor Clinic tomorrow, maybe I'll just have my sweet wife call me
when the oncologist gets there to see if there's anything new.

I think I've come to realize that this is going to be a life long
battle. Until either he goes, or we go. (Hopefully the latter...)

Brain Tumors suck.

Enjoy Today's Jokes.

Marty

p.s. Do you know how hard it is to find "Brain Tumor Jokes"? Well,
I did my best...

<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

A lawyer finds out he has a brain tumor, and its inoperable – in
fact, its so large, they have to do a brain transplant. His doctor
gives him a choice of available brains – there is a jar of rocket
scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist
brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of lawyer brains for the
princely sum of $800 an ounce. The outraged lawyer says, "This is
a rip-off - how come the lawyer brains are so expensive?" The
doctor replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to get an
ounce of brains?"

<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.

Mr. Bean: Yesss!!!  (jumps for joy)

Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?

Mr.Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?

Doctor: Then why you are so happy?

Mr.Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!


<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

This Marine, all messed up from Iraq, went to the hospital to get
checked. They found a huge brain tumor. Because of his brain
tumor, all he could say was the words to the Marines hymn. So when
the doctor asked his name, he replied, "From the halls of
montezuma..."

The doctor decided to remove the tumor and part of his brain,
thinking that would cure it. When the doctor did this, the Marine
still said "From the halls of montezuma..."

The doctor figured he did not remove enough of the brain. So after
removing some more, the marine still only said those words.

The doctor, now getting frustrated, decided to take the rest of
the brain out. Now the Marine, with no brain, stood up and started
singing, "Be all that you can be..."


****************************************************************
Don't Forget to Read my BLOG at
http://martysjotd.blogspot.com/

If you'd like to receive daily emails from us, send a
blank email to martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or
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****************************************************************

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saturday, December 08, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, just a quick note today. It's Christmas time, and sometimes we
have things shipped to our house. Well, check out this little photo
that my sweet wife snapped with her camera phone yesterday.

[see web]

It's a picture of a package, 'hidden' under our doormat!

Who says FedEx guys aren't smart! He was either trying to a) hide if
from a robber, or b) make sure we noticed it when we got home. Smart
Feller's 'eh?

Life is good.
Enjoy the picture

Marty

p.s. My sweet wife and I got up on this snowy Saturday really early,
to go wait in line for a Glenn Beck book signing at our local book
store. We got a few extra books and put them on eBay. (We're also
donating 10% of the final price to the Pediatric Brain Tumor
Foundation.) Check out the listings, these auctions start at just 1¢!

http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZmartysgQQfrppZ50QQfsopZ1QQfsooZ1QQrdZ
0 (or search for seller martysg)

Hey Look, it's my 500th post! Yipee!
Did you know I'll be starting my 8th
year of this silliness in March!??

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday, December 07, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a long way around making an itty bitty little point way at
the end, so bear with me on this post. Now, I love math. Well, I
guess I don't actually `love' math, but it seems that I have a brain
that feels comfortable when dealing with math.

The `=' sign is very powerful in math. And I understand how it works.
For example, 3x2=6. That's pretty simple. So here's a few more
examples;

The <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pythagoras">Pythagorean
Theorem</a> has always stuck in my head. You remember a²+b²=c²

<a
href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_PJZlcCqBwyw/R1mEfgPWXaI/AAAAAAAAAOU/Nyf4
yNBKZAw/s1600-h/triangle.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer;
cursor:hand;"
src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_PJZlcCqBwyw/R1mEfgPWXaI/AAAAAAAAAOU/Nyf4y
NBKZAw/s400/triangle.jpg" border="0"
alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5141286126385257890" /></a>

Simply put, if the angle where a and b intersect is a right angle, (a
90° angle) then the Pythagorean Theorem works wonderfully.

Say the distance for side `a' is 3 inches and the distance for
side `b' is 4 inches, then by doing the math (3²+4²=c² and 9+16=c²
and 25=c² and 5=c) you see that side c must equal 5 inches. In my
noodle, at least, this is a no brainer.

Another great equality is Newton's third law; For every action, there
is an equal and opposite reaction. I'd like to extrapolate Newton's
law one more step; For every sin committed, there must be an equal
and opposite payment made, to pay for that sin. That seems reasonable
and fair to me.

Now, let's see how justice and mercy fit in to this theorem. Let's
say a man robs another man. The first man is caught and is found
guilty. The second man cries, "I must have justice! I must have my
money back." But the first man's family cries to the judge, "Show
Mercy! This man is poor and we are starving."

Perfect justice demands that the robber get exactly what he deserves.
No more, no less. It can be difficult to decide what the robber
deserves as punishment, but with perfect justice, as with the equal
sign, the punishment is matched exactly with the crime.

But, in an equitable society mercy should also be shown. But, if
mercy is granted to the robber, then justice can't be served. (the
second man is robbed of money, and therefore justice) So how can we
show mercy, without justice being denied?

If there were a mediator, say a third man in our example, who would
show mercy and pay the robbers debt, and then require some sort of
payment from the robber, then both justice and mercy can be served.

So if every sin requires an equal payment, (literally) to be made for
that sin, how can we literally pay for each sin we commit? We can't.
But, there is a Great Mediator, Jesus Christ, who has already paid
for all of our sins. He only requires of us repentance, a broken
heart, and a contrite spirit. (Although I am extremely grateful for
the atonement where Christ paid for our sins, I can't begin to
comprehend how he did this...)

So, now you've had your math lesson and Sunday school lesson, so I'll
top it off with a political lesson. This all brings me to a point I
wanted to make that I mentioned at the beginning of my post. I found
this article on the news wires yesterday;

=-=-=-
<a href="http://chrisbenson.com/wp-content/uploads/Bush3.jpg"><img
style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px;"
src="http://chrisbenson.com/wp-content/uploads/Bush3.jpg" border="0"
alt="" /></a>
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President George W. Bush will unveil a plan on
Thursday aimed at slowing a wave of home loan foreclosures that has
threatened to knock the U.S. economy into recession and rattled
investors worldwide. The plan hammered out by the U.S. Treasury
Department in talks with mortgage industry leaders would bring relief
to many of the 2 million homeowners who took out adjustable rate
loans with payments due to move sharply higher in the next year or so
by offering some of them a five-year mortgage-rate freeze.
=-=-

If we try to put an equal sign in to this news story, it isn't equal
or fair. On the one side of the equal sign, Bush is trying to show
mercy by freezing adjustable rates for 5 years. This will save
homeowners money while they try to get themselves into a different
mortgage or sell their homes for what they can. It could also save
the economy from sliding further. I'd say that's some pretty hefty
stuff on the one side.

But, no one is looking at what's on the other side of the equation.
Who is going to pay for this? Banks, investment companies, and
investors will all lose money. A lot of money. Including individual
investors and retirees who have IRA accounts with these companies.
Some may argue, "They are big business, they should be knocked down a
peg or two." Or, "They made a bad investment choice, too bad so sad".
I don't agree. If this plan is put in place, it is yet another
example of government trying to redisturbe wealth, or tax the rich,
or dirty on the those who have... In my humble opinion, Bush is
showing too much mercy, and forgetting justice.

When in any society, mercy is given too much and too often, [a robber
is shown mercy and the victim receives no justice], that society
becomes inefficient, corrupt, citizens become angry and tired of
injustices, and the society is ripe for revolution.

So that's just my 2¢ worth...

Enjoy Today's Jokes!
Marty

Now, how about a little fun?

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Bryan Berg, the acknowledged inventor of cardstacking on the grand
scale, embarked on a month-long project with The Texas State Fair in
Dallas, TX to create a new Guinness World Record for the World's
Tallest House of Playing Cards. A self-taught artist, Berg uses no
tape, glue, or other tricks in his work. With 1,800 decks of
freestanding playing cards, some scaffolding, and a hole in the
ceiling, he worked for five weeks to complete the 25 foot, 9.5 inch
tower- limited only by the height of the building he was working in
and time. Even the artist was surprised at how strong his huge
construction turned out to be, when a leaf blower shorted out during
the knockdown and he was forced to take a "Godzilla" approach and
destroy the tower by hand. This is the third time Berg has been
commissioned to break his own world record, the first of which he set
in 1992 at the age of 17. Check out the links below to see press
coverage of this and other recent works.

<a
href="http://www.dallasnews.com/s/dws/photography/2007/cardstacker/">H
ere's</a> the world's record video.

And here's another video
[web]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ever wonder who's who in your family? Here's a quick little chart
that will help you understand your 1st cousins form your 2nd cousins
once removed.

On the top row, find the relationship of one person to the common
ancestor. Locate the other person along the left hand column,
according to his relationship to the same common ancestor. The
relationship is where the row and column intersect.

[see web]

GC = Grandchild
GGC = Great Grandchild
N = Niece/Nephew
GN = Grand Niece/Nephew
#C = Number of Cousin
#R = Number of times removed


And, here's a bunch of pictures from our recent trip.
[see web]

Life is good...

Enjoy Today's Jokes!
Marty

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Dick Cheney Jokes About His Distant 'Cousin Barack' Obama
Saturday, October 27, 2007

WASHINGTON —  Vice President Dick Cheney said Friday he hasn't
reached out to "Cousin Barack" Obama since reports that the two share
a distant relative.

In an interview for CNBC's "Kudlow & Company," Cheney was asked
whether he and Obama, a Democratic presidential candidate, have
discussed their ancestral link.

"Cousin Barack?" Cheney said. "No, we haven't — haven't had the
opportunity to talk about it."

Lynne Cheney, the vice president's wife, told MSNBC last week she
uncovered the long-ago ties between the two while researching her
ancestry for her latest book, "Blue Skies, No Fences."

The vice president said he was unsure about bringing it up with the
Illinois senator.

"Well, I didn't know whether that would help him or hurt him, so I
thought I'd probably stay away from him," he said.

Obama is a descendent of Mareen Duvall, said Ginny Justice, a
spokeswoman for Lynne Cheney. The French Huguenot's son married the
granddaughter of a Richard Cheney, who arrived in Maryland in the
late 1650's from England.

The vice president's full name is Richard B. Cheney.

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You know you're in red neck country when a man introduces his wife
and his cousin, and there's only one woman standing there.

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You might be a Redneck if you consider dating second cousins 'playing
the field'

****************************************************************
Don't Forget to Read my BLOG at
http://martysjotd.blogspot.com/

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****************************************************************

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eating in Chicago – Ok, remember how I told you I lost 25 pounds?
Well, I've lost a negative 5 more pounds. (gulp) So, here's a run
down of my excuses.

The night we touched down in Chicago, the boys wanted to go to
Portillo's restaurant. It's a Chicago Dog, Italian sausage fast food
type place. After getting our luggage, the rental car, and headed
out, it was 8:10 PM before we found our first Portillo's. (We drove
right to it with the help of the GPS). Of course, they closed at 8:00
PM. We begged and told them we just flew in from Salt Lake just to
eat a Chicago Dog. Their response was, "See you tomorrow." The kids
were pretty disappointed, as the last time they remember getting
Portillo's, is when I had it flown out from Chicago for my wife's
birthday several years ago.

So, that first night on the way to our cousins' home, we wanted
something truly Chicago. White Castle seemed to be a good second
choice. (Since they were open 24/7, including Thanksgiving eve) They
have the tiny burgers with big buns. I have never been impressed with
them, but the kids seemed to like 'em. We split 3 combo meals, and
upgraded to sweet potato fries. A little weird, but with sweet,
drippy, cinnamon sauce, they weren't that bad.

The next day was Thanksgiving. After participating in the traditional
Thanksgiving day hike, (What, you don't have family traditions?) we
went to the museum of science and industry (on a free entrance day).
We took a cousin, had a wonderful time, and ate the traditional $8
side salad at the museum cafeteria. Then we ate a wonderful
Thanksgiving dinner put on by my Aunt. During the next two days we
managed to grab Chicago dogs at Gene and Judes
(http://martysjotd.blogspot.com/2007/04/416-chicago-loose-tooth-
dog.html) and Portillo's. Both different from each other, but both
really good.

One night I took the whole family out to a place in Geneva called
SanFrantello's Pizza. (http://www.sanfratellosgeneva.com/) A bit
pricey, but it was good and we had a great time.

The kids and my mom flew home on Sunday. At RSNA the vendors really
want to impress everyone, and wine and dine them. So, Sunday night we
went to the Shedd Aquarium with hundreds of other people. They had a
huge buffet with huge shrimp, salads, hors d'oeuvres, and great
deserts. There was even a little chocolate one that I took a bite
off. "Honey, does this taste a little spicy to you?" I asked as I
handed it to her. She took a bite and we looked at each other, and at
the same time said, "Rum!"

Oops... We didn't try any more of those goodies.

The next night we ate at Hugo's Frog Bar and Fish House. I think that
was the best meal I had all week. I got the W.R.'s Chicago Cut Prime
Steak. Wow, it was good. (And paid for to boot!)

On Tuesday night, we ate at an Italian place called Maggiano's Little
Italy. (http://centerstage.net/restaurants/maggianos.html) It was
really good too. It's a family style restaurant, and we had salmon,
chicken, pasta, and calamari(!). They had an open bar, and someone
suggested I try a Roy Rogers.
(http://cocktails.about.com/od/cocktailrecipes/r/roy_rgr_mktl.htm)
It was a little sweet, but I didn't have to get the umbrella like a
Shirley Temple. Since most of us were from Utah, I think only 1 of
their customers actually ordered a 'real' drink that night.

On Wednesday, we went to the Tavern on Rush.
(http://www.tavernonrush.com/) It was another hoytee toytee fancy
steak house. This time there were only 15 of us, and they let us
order directly from the menu. (as opposed to having only 2 or 3
choices). So I ordered a filet mignon. Medium Rare thank you. But,
when they brought out 14 other entries, they forgot mine. After 10 or
15 more minutes, they brought this huge piece of meat, slightly over
done on the outside, and red and cool on the inside. Rare, not medium
rare. So, I cut off the outsides and sent back the rest to the
kitchen. It came back, slightly burned out the outside again, but
medium rare on the inside. Much better, but everyone else was done,
so I didn't finish. I wasn't quite sure how to act when someone else
was paying for a fancy dinner, and then my meal gets messed up. But,
everyone knew my dinner was late and not cooked right, so I think the
guy who paid and the waiter had some words about it... Anyway, the
food was ok, but the service wasn't that good.

Then, Thursday night, my Aunt and Uncle invited us out to their house
for a (quiet) dinner. We had really good Salmon, and the best company
all week!

So, Friday before we flew home was the only time my sweet wife and I
got to pick somewhere to go alone. We picked Giordano's pizza.
(http://www.giordanos.com/main.php) Mostly because it was only a
block and a half away from our hotel, and right on the way to Ben and
the parking lot. Earlier in the week we managed to fit in Pizzaria
Uno's for lunch. (http://www.unos.com/great.html) And, comparing the
two, I think I'd have to say Giordano's was better. (But we ate at
Pizzaria Due's
(http://www.10best.com/Chicago/Restaurants/Pizza/Pizzeria_Due_Chicago_
IL_BID_51937/) several years ago, [Uno's second restaurant] and I
think that beat them both). But, as my boys would say, "it's all
good." When we ate at Giordano's on Friday night, we only ate 1/2 of
the small pizza. We saved the 2nd half for lunch on the plane
Saturday. (A night in the rental car kept is nicely frozen) I tired
to take the pizza through security, and they yelled, "All food must
be x-ray'd!" So, we had cold, zapped, pizza on the plane. (Not bad
considering American Airlines was selling a full sized Snickers bar
for $3!)

Anyway, that's my excuse for doing rotten on my diet for the past 2
weeks. What's yours?

Life is good...

Enjoy Today's Jokes!
Marty

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Here's an interesting article I ran across today...

Boy Scouts ignore 'pay-up-or-move' ultimatum
Philadelphia threatening $199,999 rent increase or eviction

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=59021


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Our family was dazzled by the sights and the bustling crowds during a
visit to Manhattan. "This is the city that never sleeps," I told my
eleven-year-old daughter.

"That's probably because there's a Starbucks on every corner," she
observed.

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One little punctuation mark would have made a world of difference in
the gigantic sign I saw posted outside a local family
restaurant: "Kids Under 12 Eat Free Live Clown Every Wednesday."

****************************************************************
Don't Forget to Read my BLOG at
http://martysjotd.blogspot.com/

If you'd like to receive daily emails from us, send a
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visit http://www.egroups.com/group/martysjotd

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, December 03, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What a long vacation! We took the boys to Chicago for Thanksgiving
and my sweet wife and I stayed for an extra week for the RSNA
conference. (Radiologic Society of North America). It's a huge
conference with upwards of 70,000 people attending. Doctors and
participants take continuation classes, vendors vend, and take
everyone out to expensive restaurants.

Here's a few notes on our Chicago trip. More later;

Eating breakfast – the day after my four boys flew back home to Salt
Lake (Sunday) my sweet wife and I went out to breakfast at
McDonald's.  We each ordered a breakfast burrito, and I ordered a
large orange juice for us to split. She went up to get napkins,
forks, and a straw for us, but came back with enough plastic wear and
straws for all six people! But, by the end of the week, she was
getting only two straws.

Baker's shoe store – my sweet wife and I went to Baker's shoe store.
They had hundreds and hundreds of shoes for sale, and lots of loud
rock music playing. But the one thing that seemed odd in the store
was the hat , their were no man shoes available for sale!

Chicago weather – The weather in Chicago was about the same
temperature, as it was the Salt Lake last week, (about 30°F). But
there is the reason that they call Chicago the Windy city. The wind
was constantly blowing and the wind chill factor was usually between
zero and five below. Next time I'll bring a warmer coat!

Chicago Board of trade – just around the corner from our hotel was
the Chicago Board of trade.  We toured their one afternoon, but after
September 11, 2001, all they had for us to see was a small museum
with pictures and fax about how CBOT worked. Not as exciting as I had
hoped it would be.

Shopping on Michigan Avenue – it was kind of cool to see all of the
lights and decorations on Michigan Avenue, but the prices were more
expensive than they were online.  My sweet wife found a Dick Blick
Art supply store that she said she could, "stay and shop for hours",
but decided it was cheaper to shop at their store online instead.
After one afternoon shopping on on Michigan Avenue, we found
we 'shopped' a lot, but only bought a comic book and some stuff at
Walgreens.

Chicago transportation - One mistake I made while on my first visit
to RSNA this year, was to get a rental car. When we pulled up to the
hotel there was a parking rate sign posted; Parking for less than two
hours cost $12, 2-6 hours was $24, and parking overnight was $44. I
asked the parking attendants if there was any cheaper parking in the
area, and he said "sorry you're in the big city now". I ended up
asking the concierge's desk where I could park for less, they told me
that six blocks away was a parking lot at the Union Station parking
lot for only $20 a day. (Oh boy, now that's cheap!) So every day at
6:30 p.m. We walked in the 0° wind chill to pay $20 to a parking
attendant named Ben. We got to know him really well though, and even
brought him a yo-yo from the conference, for his six year old little
girl. He said she loved it.

In Chicago everyone uses public transportation; trains, taxicabs, or
buses. And hundreds and hundreds (and Hundreds!) of people walk the
sidewalks each day. When waiting to cross the street, one thing you
have to learn is to not hang your toes over the curb, if you do
you're libel to get them squashed by cab. My sweet wife and I also
learned quickly that signal indicators and traffic lights are just a
guideline for signaling. The "honk of a horn" is much more meaningful
than in any other signal device available.

Eating in Chicago –
More on that in my next issue. You'll not want to miss it!

Life is good...

Enjoy Today's Jokes!
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comment Section;

Marty,
Love the pictures!  Thank you for sharing them with us.  Your family
is very good looking!  I'm glad you have been able to find people
recently, and like that the scout master is still in scouting with
the same troop.  Our Cub Pack leader took the job because he was the
parent with 4 boys, I hope his dedication is like your leader.
Jen B, Ohio


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At Disneyland, forever
Last Friday, the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride at Disneyland was
shut down after someone was seen dumping a powder into the water --
employees say it was human ashes. It is a misdemeanor in California
to scatter ashes on private property without permission. But as more
people opt for cremation instead of expensive burials, the state's
Cemetery and Funeral Bureau is fielding more ash-scattering
complaints from golf courses and other venues. "If these were rogue
funeral directors out there tossing remains out of rides, we would
take a very dim view," said bureau spokesman Kevin Flanagan. "But how
are you going to enforce something like that?"

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Unfortunately, getting a new passport required a new photo. As I
handed my ten-year-old passport and the new picture to the clerk, I
sighed. "I like the original better," I told her.

"Trust me," she said. "Ten years from now, you'll like this one."

<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

My pregnant daughter and her husband were checking out a new birth
facility that was more like a spa. The birthing room had a hot tub,
soft music and candlelight. "What do you think?" she said

He looked around. "Isn't this how we got here in the first place?"

****************************************************************
Don't Forget to Read my BLOG at
http://martysjotd.blogspot.com/

If you'd like to receive daily emails from us, send a
blank email to martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or
visit http://www.egroups.com/group/martysjotd

****************************************************************

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey hey, it's almost Turkey Day! But, I'm a bit nervous.

Check out this weather forecast for tomorrow.

Windy. Periods of rain and snow in the evening will become snow
showers late. Low 33F. Winds N at 20 to 30 mph. Chance of
precipitation 80%. A slushy accumulation of 1 to 3 inches.

Not too bad, unless that's on the busiest air travel day of the
year, and you're flying into one of the busiest airports in the US
with 4 boys and their sweet mother. But, that's a bad attitude
isn't it? I'll bet the turkey, family and friends will be worth
it.

The other day son #1 came home with a pre-mid term assignment
sheet. It had listed all of the test grades, missed assignments,
and classroom behavior. When son #1 handed it to my sweet wife she
said, "Oh, so you've missed this assignment, didn't do very well
on that test, etc..." Son #1 rolled his eyes and said, "Mom, give
me a break! This is a hard class. The teacher said to who ever got
a B- or better in her class, that she would send home a sheet
showing how good they did." "Oh... oops..." she said sheepishly.
(Not that I'm putting down my sweet wife, I ~know~ I would have
drilled son #1 more more vigorously.)

And so it goes with our attitudes. Thursday is Thanksgiving and I
think there is too much negativity in the world. We all need to
look at the glass half full. So, I'm excited to fly in inclement
weather. That means there's good family, friends, and food waiting
at the other end!

In church Sunday, son #1 talked in front of our congregation about
being grateful for everything we have. He did a great job, and I'm
grateful to him that he's grown up to be such a fine young man.

There's a quote on our refrigerator that I often read (probably
from one of my sweet wife's Relief Society functions), that's
attributed to Mother Teresa, about not worrying about the bad, and
keep doing the good.

=-=-=-
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior
motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and
some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
~Mother Teresa
=-=-=-

So, be happy, be grateful, and say thank you!

Enjoy Today's Jokes!
Marty

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Now, here's a funny video. Human tetris!

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie"
value="http://www.youtube.com/v/EZimy9H1t4o&rel=1"></param><param
name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed
src="http://www.youtube.com/v/EZimy9H1t4o&rel=1" type="application/x-
shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425"
height="355"></embed></object>


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And, check out this homemade speed bump!

<embed src="http://www.liveleak.com/player.swf" width="450"
height="370" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"
pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"
flashvars="autostart=false&token=cff_1194866913" scale="showall"
name="index"></embed>

****************************************************************
Don't Forget to Read my BLOG at
http://martysjotd.blogspot.com/

If you'd like to receive daily emails from us, send a
blank email to martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or
visit http://www.egroups.com/group/martysjotd

****************************************************************

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm bat'n 1000 in the last 3 days. I'm still going through a bunch of
boxes of my dad's. These sets have a lot of old letters, pictures,
certificates, etc. One of the things I found was a newspaper that my
13 year old aunt, and my 6 year old father published at the hotel the
family was running. In one of the articles they told about a new
cousin that had been born. (in 1941). This cousin died about 10 years
ago, but I decided to see if I could contact his widow. I checked out
www.zabasearch.com and found her right away. I called her up and
said, "Is this so and so..."
"Yes"
"I'm looking for the so-and-so who was married to such-and-such who
dies about 10 years ago."
"I am her."
"Well, I'm your husband's first cousin once removed..."
And so started the conversation, and I picked up another cousin in
California. Hit one.

Then, tonight, I was going through more papers and found my some old
Eagle Scout congratulation letters for me. I thought I'd try and look
up my old Scout Master and tell him thanks. (I wrote a letter to him
and sent it 3 years ago, but I had the wrong address.) Anyway, I
looked on Zabasearch again, and he was the first guy I found. I
called him up and said, "Did you used to be a Scout Master about 25
years ago..." And away our conversation went. Hit 2. It turns out
that he was the Scout Master for that troop for 35 years. He said he
stepped back into a lesser role about 10 or 15 years ago, but still
works with that same troop. Some guys are just amazing like that.
It's good to have great roll models growing up.

Anyway, last Saturday we got our pictures take. Here are a few that I
thought were pretty good. (see the website)

Enjoy

Enjoy Today's Jokes!
Marty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday we went to our favorite movie house and saw 'Underdog'. I
was expecting a really cheesy movie, but things turned out better
than expected.

At dinner I asked the kids which movie they wanted to see; Passage
to Zerahemla or Underdog. I knew Passage would be a little violent
(but people at work assured me it was ok for a 6 year old...) Son
#4 also has always had a thing about unknown stuff. He doesn't
like to hike. He doesn't like to go to unknown places, or movies
he hasn't seen before. I'm sure it has to do with his sight and
falling, and watching Pirates of the Caribbean before he was old
enough.

Anyway, at dinner, son #4 refused to go to either movie. "What if
I don't like it?" he'd say. Or, "What if it's scary?" So I guided
the boys into convincing him to go to Underdog. This killed two
birds with one stone. It got him to (reluctantly) go to a movie
for family night, and gave the older boys a stake in one movie
over the other, rather than argue about which one to see.

So, I really liked Underdog. It was believable, (ok not really,
but sort of...) and the story line was good. Although the only
drawback to the whole movie was that the short Simon Bar-sinister
was a rotten actor. But, other than that it was great. I'd rate it
a 3.5 out of 4 boys rating). During the whole movie everyone was
laughing out loud (including son #4). After the movie we asked him
how he like it. He knew the teasing would be forthcoming, so he
scowled and said, "There were some parts I didn't like." When we
asked him which ones, he couldn't think of any and finally said he
was glad he went.

Now, I used to pop popcorn and sneak it in to the theaters, but a
few years ago one of my readers suggested that that was teaching
my boys the wrong thing about 'stealing'... I protested, but
finally relented. I haven't sneaked popcorn in for over a year I
think. Even though the ticket prices are 50¢ each, the popcorn and
2 pops for the 6 of us is almost $15. Wow. I guess I'll lighten my
wallet and loosen my belt. (Yeah, I know, but I have no self
control when it comes to movie popcorn.)

So, today, life is good.

Enjoy Today's Jokes!
Marty

p.s. I posted a 20% off coupon for VF Factory Outlet stores. (web)
They encourage you to pass it to friends and family. Have fun!

p.p.s.
Here's a couple cool videos.
(web)

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She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates
and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.


On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their
beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft
background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of
caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and
deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the
hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband
returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few
days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam
cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were
brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move
out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the
expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked!!!

People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to
move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they
could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local Realtors refused to
return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely
and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be
willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting
the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed
on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth,
but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.  She agreed
and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they
watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new
home.........

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the the curtain
rods!!!!!!

I love a happy ending, don't you?
~#1 Mom

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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little  girl whispered
to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?' 'Because white
is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her
life.'    The child thought about this for a moment, then said,
'So why is the groom wearing black?'
~Wanda D.

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Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an
aerobics class. To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much
younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor.

"I'm here to do my postnatal exercises,"

The instructor gave me an appraising look. "How old is your baby?"

"Twenty-six," I replied.

~Wanda D.

****************************************************************
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, November 05, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We had a great Halloween night. I got to stay home with the dog,
and hand out candy, while the rest of the crew headed out for
treats. I had a total of 3 groups of kids. About 12 in all. Almost
not worth staying home. But, it was fun, none the less.

Son #4 was a pirate. He wore a patch over his blind eye, and
didn't seem to have any problems at all. (go figure). When
everyone got home, my sweet wife said that son #4 said, "Mom, will
you carry my candy?" She replied, "What for?" He said, "So I can
stick people with my sword." And she said, "But you don't have a
sword with you." and he said, "But mom, if I carry all that candy,
people won't even imagine that I have a sword."

Hmm... I guess that makes sense.

A couple of weeks ago son #4 came home and said, "Guess what mom?
I ran a mile and came in second." She brushed him off and said,
"That's nice honey..."

We had a parent teacher conference for him last week, and we were
going over his accomplishments and setting some goals. I asked how
long it would be before we could think about mainstreaming him
into a regular class. The teacher said she would look into getting
him into some class time with the 'regular' students at his
elementary school. Then she said, "We already have lunch, recess,
and PE with the regular kids."

"Oh, how is that going?" I asked.

The elementary school is right next to a high school that has a
quarter mile track on it. The teacher said, "The kids went with
the other class and ran around the track 4 times. Son #4 came in
2nd place out of both classes."

Um, oh, maybe we should start to believe our kid once in awhile.

Enjoy Today's Jokes!
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comment Section;


Am impressed with the weight loss!!! Also with the hair growth on
son #4. My hair came back in very thin with lots of scalp seen
through the front growth.
Wanda D.

<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

My co-worker was being let go due to a nasty habit she had
of not always showing up for work. As an officer in our
union, I was preparing to argue on her behalf when she took
matters into her own hands and insisted, "But I was really
sick this time!"

<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife
Was really angry so she told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to
find a Gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6
seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"

The next morning Rick got up early and left for work. When his
wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough There was a
box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused by the
small size, his wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway
and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a
brand new bathroom scale.

Rick has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him.
~Jan D.

<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

My brother was recently launched into the "real world" and shocked
by the expenses that came with it, he was complaining about the
high cost of auto insurance. "If you got married," teased my dad,
"the premium would be lower." He smiled. "That would be like
buying an airline just to get free peanuts."

=-=-=-

Scientists Decode the First Low-Frequency Radio Waves From an
Alien Civilization Ever to Reach Earth...

Simply send 6 x 10 to the 50 atoms of Hydrogen to the Star System
at the top of the list, cross off that star system, then put your
Star System at the bottom of the list and send it to 100 other
Star Systems. Within one-tenth of a Galactic Rotation you will
receive enough hydrogen to power your civilization until entropy
reaches maximum! IT REALLY WORKS!

****************************************************************
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****************************************************************

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The other night there was an orchestra concert at the High School
for son #1. Afterwards, we all headed to Wendy's for Frosties.
When we left, there was a small Italian Restaurant next door that
had a big sign right in front of our van that said, "Tired of
Burgers? Try Us!" It was a new little place (really little) called
Little Italy or something. I told my sweet wife that we needed to
try it on our next date night.

She reminded me that there was a new Ribs place by Smith's that we
wanted to try first. So, last week was the rib place, and Friday
night was Little Italy. I think I like the Italian place better.
Not that the rib place was bad, it just seemed... well... regular
I suppose. Anyway, the Italian place only had 12 tables or so, and
there were only 4 full tables. (Which doesn't bode well for first
impressions). But, I think it's still pretty new. We joked that
the music playing must have been from some stereotypical Italian
music CD. We had heard all but 1 or 2 songs. But, after awhile it
blended in with the atmosphere, which I thought was really great.

Then, the food was really good too. It took several minutes for
the pre-dinner bread to come out, but it was hot and (of course,
Italian) tasted wonderful. We finished the small loaf, and when
our dinner came, my sweet wife asked for more. "Oh, just a second,
we'll throw another one in the oven." So, that's why it takes a
few minutes for the bread. The salad was just your average iceberg
lettuce fair, and not very impressive, but the house dressing
tasted homemade and was very garlicy. Wonderful stuff.

Anyway, both of our spaghetti's were great. And next time I'd like
to try the pizza. Although I'm sure it wasn't good for my
triglycerides, I'd still give it a 4½ out of 5 date night stars.

Little Italy Pizzeria & Ristorante
9284 S. 700 E.
Sandy UT 84070
(801)255-0363
Dominic Galati

Also on Friday, we got a call from Primary Children's Hospital.
(Why does my heart drop ever time they call. Ug...) But this time
it was good news. They said, "We have a very generous donor who
would like to give you a pair of tickets to the Hanna Montana
concert tomorrow." Well, Yeah... Of course son #4 would love to
go! So son #4 and I did. We got to sit in a suite with about 15
other kids. The suite had all of the goodies; food, and lots of
it. Hot dogs and big chicken nuggets for the kids, and shrimp for
me. Boy, I love shrimp! They also brought ice cream and brownies.
There was a TV, bathroom, kitchen sink, and drinks galore. It was
awesome. Son #4 and I had a great time! David Vankomen, owner and
CEO of Vankomen Media was the generous donor. He seemed like a
really nice guy too! Anyway, here are some pictures with captions.

[pics on web site]

Also, just before the concert started, David handed out a gift
bags to each of the kids. Each bag had a Nintendo DS game system,
with `Brain Age 2' and another game inside. I thought, wow! Are
you kidding? It was really nice. But, I immediately thought of
sons #1, #2, and #3, and thought how they might be jealous.
(Especially son #3 who seems to think life is unfair to him, and
such a blessing for son #4. I can see his point, with the brain
tumor/youngest son/"profoundly socially adept" things going on, it
easy to miss some stuff. But, I digress...) So, on the way home I
asked son #4 if he wouldn't mind sharing his new treasure with his
brothers. Without hesitation he said, "Sure dad" Almost as if to
say it rolling his eyes, `like there would be any doubt dad...' He
is a good kid.

So, last night for family night we carved pumpkins (I think mine
is the best this year) and wrote thank you notes to Mr. Vankomen.

Life is good...

Enjoy Today's Jokes!
Marty

p.s. Reading over this issue of the JOTD, and the last couple of
ones, I've noticed I've written a lot about food. (Wendy's
frosties, ribs, Italian food, shrimp, etc.) I guess it shows I'm
more appreciative of the stuff anymore. Last August I got serious
about a diet. As of this morning, I've shed 25 pounds. I love it
when people who know me, and don't know I'm on a diet say, "have
you lost weight?" It gives me a thrill! But, I've really tried to
keep it hush hush. I suppose it's because I guess I'm embarrassed
about my weight. Anyway, one of my `treats' I told myself I'd give
myself was that I would tell my JOTD readers. So, next time you
see me, give me an `atta boy, but don't give up now...' message.

=-=-=-


<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

A man walks into an ice cream shop and asks, "I'd like two scoops
of chocolate ice cream, please." The girl behind the counter
replied, "I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of chocolate." "In that
case," the man continued, "I'll have two scoops of chocolate ice
cream." "We're out of chocolate," the girl repeated. "Then just
give me one scoop," he insists. Frustrated, the girl says, "Sir,
will you spell 'van,' as in 'vanilla?'"  "V-A- N." "Now spell
'straw,' as in 'strawberry.'" "S-T-R-A-W." "Now," the girl asked,
"spell 'stink,' as in chocolate." The man hesitates. "There's no
stink in chocolate." "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
she screams.

<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

"What is that sound?" a woman asked at our nature center. "It's
the frogs trilling for a mate," Patti, the naturalist, explained.
"We have a pair in the science room. But since they've been
together for so long, they no longer sing to each other."
The woman nodded sympathetically, "The trill is gone."

<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

Two female privates are ordered to paint the general's office.
They are warned not to get paint on their uniforms. So they lock
the door, strip off their clothes and get to work. An hour later,
there's a knock at the door. "Who is it?" they ask. "Blind man."
Thinking nothing of it, the privates open the door. "Hi," says the
man. "Where do you want the blinds?"

****************************************************************
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****************************************************************

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, we're just back from a financial seminar dinner. You know, one
of those... "come-to-a-fancy-dinner-and-learn-about-our-company-
and-let-us-invest-your-money-for-you-of-course-we'll-take-just-a-
little-bit-of-coin-from-you-too" dinners. Well, when they asked, I
was feeling rich, and hungry, and when they mentioned Carvers
Steak and Chop house, I jumped at the chance. Only, the invitation
said, "geared for ages 55 and above". So, I was feeling just a
little guilty when I called to make reservations. When I asked
about the 55 year old requirement, she said, "No Problem!" So, I
felt better about going, but, I think I was the youngest one in
the room. But, that's ok, I still think I can swim with the big
fish and hold my own.

Anyway, son #4 called just as we were being served prime rib and
said, "Mom, I'm hungry!" (son #1 was making dinner just then) and
added, "and you ~never~ eat dinner with us!" Which tugged at both
of our heart strings. But considering we eat dinner with them at
least 5 times a week (And more like 6 nights a week [or 7 times if
we miss `date night' together]) I didn't feel guilty too long,
especially with a 10 oz slab of prime rib on my plate!

Anyway, I'm trying to keep busy and keep my mind on other things.
I keep telling myself, he's either got tumors or he doesn't, and
there's not a thing you can do about it, so get over it. So, I
try, and on with life we go.

I'm finally getting caught up on my blog reading. A couple of my
favorites that I need to link in my blog are – Scary stuff, all
that fire in California!

The Musings of a Space Nerd
http://www.spacenerd.blogspot.com/

THE GREAT GLADDEN FAMILY
http://thegladdens.blogspot.com/

Melody's Doodles
http://www.designsbymelody.blogspot.com/

Enjoy Today's Jokes!
Marty

=-=-=-

Reader Comments;
Marty's jotd on a Friday????  Well, I guess it helps to make up
for all the days you missed.  And thanks for the jokes again.
It's been so long I forgot what I sent you.  Well, I guess it
doesn't have to be very long for that (I'll say it before you
can)  Love, #1 Mom

<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

A disappointed soft drink salesman returned from his Middle East
assignment. His boss asked, "Why weren't you successful with the
Arabs?"

The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I
was very sure to make a good sales pitch as our product was
virtually unknown there. I didn't know to speak Arabic, so I
planned to convey the message through 3 posters. My first poster
was a man crawling through the hot desert sand, totally exhausted
and panting. Second, the man is drinking our soft drink and third,
our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted
all over the place"

"That should have worked," said the boss.

The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic but I
didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left."

~Wanda D.

<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

When Mary was pregnant, her 5 year old, Billy, was utterly amazed,
and a little bit disbelieving, that his sister was growing in his
mom's tummy. So one day when the baby was especially active, she
sked Billy to place his tiny hands on her tummy to feel the baby
kick. But when he did, the baby was suddenly still. "Oh, Billy,
she must have decided to take a nap," shrugged Mary.

"A nap?" Billy marveled. "You mean there's a bed in there too?"

<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

I did my nurse's training at a hospital in Liverpool, England. My
fellow students and I had little money for meals, so we ate the
awful food provided at the hospital complex. We often took our
breaks in the kitchen, and sometimes kindly visitors would give us
some of the treats they had brought for patients. One night a
woman brought a pork pie to the kitchen and said to me, "Would you
eat this up, love?" Delighted at the offer, another student and I
devoured every crumb. Soon our benefactor returned, however, and
asked, "Is me 'usband's pie 'ot yet, dearie?"

****************************************************************
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday, October 19, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, let's get back to a little bit of normalcy here. Yes, there
are jokes at the end Uncle B...

The Candlelighters Childhood cancer foundation "...provides
information and awareness for children and adolescents with cancer
and their families, to advocate for their needs, and to support
research so every child survives and leads a long and healthy
life." (They also throw cool parties and give away neat stuff!)
Yesterday I got an email that Hale Center Theater had some extra
tickets for a play, and gave a block of them to Candlelighters.
And, they had 6 of them for us.

Tonight we saw a play that I'd never heard of before called, "Once
on this Island". An interesting play loosely based on `The Little
Mermaid'; After a car crash on the `poor' side of the island, a
girl heals the `rich' car driver. They fall in love, but she's a
peasant, he's a rich aristocrat. Yadda Yadda...

My sweet wife really liked it. But, for 4 boys, and a family
outing, I’ll only give it 1½ boys out of 4. For a date night,
probably a 2. It was done in a Caribbean style, and some of the
lines were hard to understand. Twords the end, son #4 fell asleep on
my sweet wife’s lap. Son’s #1, 2, and 3 sat in front of us. Son’s
#2 and 3 (as usual) were poking and aggravating each other. I said to
son #2, “Do you want to go and sit in the van for the rest of the
play?” Son #4 perked up and said, “Can I go too?”

I think we'll wait for a comedy next time.

Enjoy Today's Jokes!
Marty

p.s. My Chicago Cousin is in town for the weekend. Wendy is the
CEO and founder of eMomsAtHome.com and is speaking at a conference
in Salt Lake. I haven't seen her in years. Lots of catching up to
do this weekend!

=-=-=-
Reader Comments;

Lots and LOTS of well wishers and comments. Too many to mention,
and way to many to respond to each one. Let me just say "Thanks!"
to everyone who wrote in with support.

<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot.
One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much
every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried,
except for one  thing; she would approach people who were sitting
on the beach, glance  around furtively, then speak to them.
Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander
off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick
exchange of money and something she carried in her bag.
The couple assumed she was selling drugs, and debated calling the
cops, but since they didn't know for sure they just continued to
watch her. After a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey, have you
ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and
other electronic devices?"
He hadn't, and said so.
Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big
radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's
really doing."
Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost
hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk
to her husband and then leave.  The man walked up the beach and
met his wife at the road.
Well, is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly.
"No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he
should have.
"Well, what is it, then?  What does she do?" his wife fairly
shrieked.
The man grinned and said, "Her name is Sally, and she's a
battery salesperson"
"Batteries?" cried the wife.
"Yes," he replied.
She sells C cells by the seashore.


<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>


A man who just died is delivered to the mortuary wearing an
expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The mortician asks the
deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out
that the man does look good in the black suit he is already
wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her
husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a
blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank check and says, "I
don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue
suit for the viewing." The woman returns the next day for the
wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous
blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.
She says to the mortician, "Whatever this cost, I'm very
satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How
much did you spend?" To her astonishment, the mortician presents
her with the blank check. He says, "There's no charge." "No,
really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite
blue suit!" she says. "Honestly, ma'am," the mortician says, "It
cost nothing". You see, a deceased gentleman of about your
husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday,
and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if
she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead,
and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.
"So I switched the heads"


<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

I must send my thanks to whomever sent me the one about rat poop
in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel
with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same
reason.

I am still waiting to receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates is
sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels
Looking out for me.

I no longer eat KFC because the chickens they use are actually
horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like
a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to numerous emails, I have learned that my prayers only get
answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends within five
minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch
the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm
pumping gas.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup water in the
microwave anymore, because it will blow up in my face...
disfiguring me for life.

I will never check the coin return on pay phones because I could
be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with
a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since the delivery
guys are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will hack into my
phone line for which I will get a phone bill with calls to
Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African
spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it
bites my butt.

And thanks to all the great advice, I can't ever pick up the five-
dollar bill I find in the parking lot because it probably was
placed there by a predator waiting underneath a car to grab my
leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 100,000 people in the
next 60 minutes, you will have 10 years of bad luck and go
straight to hell when you die.

I know this because it actually happened to a friend of my next-
door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's
beautician...

~My #1 mom

****************************************************************
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visit http://www.egroups.com/group/martysjotd

****************************************************************

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Driving to Brain Tumor clinic today was not pleasant. I had this
butterfly feeling in the pit of my stomach that came `this close' to
making me toss my cookies. This `what if' stuff is for the birds!
The oncologist said that the 2 spots are in "the exact same place"
that they have been since the post surgery MRI, and that's what we
saw on the images. (Kind of what I thought) They were only 2 and 3mm
in size, (not the 5mm I thought the radiologist said). I think the
radiologist only looked at one `relevant prior' which is the last MRI
he had. He didn't look at all of the prior studies. I think, if he
had, he'd have seen the 2 spots come and go. The oncologist also said
that sometimes the radiologists don't put in everything they see.
(IE: Dr. Hedlin didn't put in anything in his reports about the 2
spots, I guess because they were really small.)

However, (isn't there always a `however...') on Monday's MRI the
gadolinium contrast made the spots appear 'brighter', which our
oncologist said should mean bad news. But, she's seen a lot of times
that the timing of the contrast vs. timing of the MRI will make
things look worse than they really are. She said, "We're pretty sure
it's nothing, but can't promise you anything." She told us
to, "...have a good holiday season" and that they'd like to see us in
about 2 months instead of 4 months, "just to make sure."

Hopefully we've dodged a bullet. But, now we have to hold our breath
again for 8 10 weeks. Everything else seems normal. Relatively
speaking that is...

On another sad note, our pet parakeet Kiki died last night. He just
got too old and he finally gave in to whatever was ailing him for the
past several months. We had a nice little ceremony in the back yard,
complete with tears and appropriately, the season's first snow.
Marty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bad news folks. I really thought we were heading for the 5 year mark
with clean scans all the way. We thought that after son #4's brain
tumor, we'd just have to hold our breath for 5 years (where something
like 90% of kids who live that long with no recurrence survive cancer
free) We've been kind of reeling for the last 24 hours, but a trip to
the temple this morning calmed us down a bit, and put things in
prospective.

Yesterday, when the radiologist called us into his office, `to show
us some things' rather than just coming out to the recovery room and
saying, "everything's fine, go home", we knew there was a problem.

He showed us two spots on the MRI that he called, "areas that are
very worrisome." He said the two spots measured 5mm each (just less
than 2 tenths of an inch). He also said that no doctor would operate
on something that small, but suggested that we not wait 4 month until
the next MRI.

Here's what I'm hoping. I think it was at least a year ago, Dr.
Hedlin, a radiologist, told us that there were 2 areas of concern,
and that they would watch them. He said they looked like they could
be scar tissue. I'm hoping that these are the same things he saw, and
they were caught `just right' by an MRI slice (one MRI image is
a `slice' of tissue, and several slices make up the whole study.)

Maybe it's just denial, maybe it's false hope, but it's what we have.
We've got brain tumor clinic tomorrow, and may find out more...

More on the brain tumor roulette on your kids life.

Marty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, October 15, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today is MRI day at the hospital. I hate MRI days. My co-worker had a
dentist appointment that he wouldn't change, so I had to go in to
work. Luckily my boss is great and let me take a `long' lunch, and
take calls from the hospital

When son #4 was in the lab to get his IV and blood drawn, the nurse
on the IV team got a call to do an IV in the NICU. Son #4 looked up
and said, "You can go ahead, I'll wait." No such luck. So, son #4
already has his `poke' and we're sitting in the MRI waiting room, the
one we always get, listening to the baby in the next room scream her
head off while they put in her IV. Sometimes the IV team just doesn't
get it. One time they poked son #4 6 times before they got his MRI
in. We now know to get him to drink as much liquids as possible
before he gets `poked'. It makes the vessels get bigger.

When the nurse practitioner came in, she looked like a pretty stern
lady; all business. I thought to myself, I'll give her about 60
seconds before son #4 says something that makes her smile. She
said, "So is this your first MRI, or have you been here before?" We
all just rolled our eyes and said, "Lots of times..." When she looked
at son #4, she said, "Oh, so you're a doctor?" (He's wearing his new
scrubs) And he replied matter of factly, "Um, No, I'm not really a
doctor; I'm just a kid who's wearing scrubs." Bingo, 49 seconds.
Almost a record.

This is about our 5th or 6th MRI, so we know the ropes. Where the
bathrooms are, where to sit, what to do while he's in his MRI. We
always go to the cafeteria right after son #4 falls asleep. They're
always closed between 10-11, so we grab a cold sandwich. Now, our
next step is to get a radiologist to read the MRI and tell us
everything is fine.

More later.

Enjoy today's jokes!
Marty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, October 08, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ratatouille; (IPA:[rætə'tui,-`twi]; French pronunciation:
[ʁata'tuj]) - a southern French dish of vegetables cooked
together. Usually included are diced onion, sautéed in oil,
eggplant, garlic, green peppers, tomatoes, zucchini, flavored with
oregano, thyme, rosemary and basil.

Ratatouille is also a pretty good movie. (Especially at the dollar
theater, with half price family night tickets on Monday.) Ok, I
have to admit, my sweet wife and I, and my #1 mom saw it in San
Francisco, in a hotel room when we went there last month. I
thought the boys would enjoy it. Oh, you didn't know about my San
Francisco trip? Sorry. We went to see my 90 year old Great Uncle,
my 100 year old 1st cousin twice removed (both on my mom's side),
and a 4th cousin once removed, on my dad's side. [For those of you
wondering, my Great Great Great Great Grandparents, and her Great
Great Great Grandparents were the same. Peter [marty's-last-name]
was born in 1782 in New Jersey. Yes, the internet is great for
finding lost cousins...] Anyway, I digress. The movie was really
good, and I give it a four out of four sons rating.

Ok, here's the really cool thing about the internet and finding a
cousin you never knew you had; They are the nicest people! (And
look like us in a distant sort of way...) We had lunch with
Barbara, her sister, and Barbara's husband. They were the nicest
people you could hope to meet. And, to boot, they took us sailing
on San Francisco Bay in their sail boat! Here's several pictures
of us sailing! [see web site]

Last week I even got a nice card telling ~US~ how much they
enjoyed our visit. So I feel terribly guilty, I haven't even
written them since we got back. [note to self: write that thank
you card!] Cool people. But, then again, they are blood!

Funny stuff; Son #1, #2, and #3 didn't have school today. Son #4
did. (4 boys in 4 different schools in two different districts
makes for an interesting schedule!) Son #1 convinced my sweet wife
to take them to Best Buy, where they had some software on sale for
$10. When they got there, my sweet wife jokingly said, "I dunno,
it's rated teen..." Son #1 turned into a 6 year old, "But
Moooommm..." She grinned and teased, "I don't think you're old
enough." Then he said, "Let me see the box." He looked at it for a
second, and then licked the front of it. "There, now I have to buy
it." Hmm... wasn't that on a car commercial about 6 months ago?
Enjoy Today's Jokes!
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comments;

Hi Marty!
I've missed you. I wish you and your family all the best. #4's MRI
will be fine.
Love always, Lillian
Have a good day
=-=-
Glad to see you posting again. I was afraid that yahoogroups might
have had my email in bouncing status or something.
--kh
=-=-
Welcome back! It is good to see you writing again...
Angel

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sunday, October 07, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Son #4 finally lost another tooth. This is yet another great
milestone, considering all of the radiation the sent through his
noggin. Then, at the dinner table he let one rip, and 4 accusing
fingers pointed at him and yelled, "It wasn't me!" Of course mom
just shook her head. So, he had to pay the 25¢ penalty.

He was watching a movie tonight and said, "Dad, you know that
25¢ I put in the fart jar?" (He got $1.50 from the tooth fairy)
I said, "Yeah". He said, "Well mom gave me another quarter for
it." "What?!" I said, "How are you going to learn not to fart at
the table if mom gives you a quarter when you have to pay?"

Mom came running out of her (new) art room. "No... He didn't
tell you that he had to do an extra choir and `earn' a quarter."

"Oh, I forgot that" he said.

So goes fun stuff at our house. I keep thinking, `that would be
something to put on the JOTD." And then I've just gotten out of
the habit so bad, that I haven't done it.

Today was General Conference. Elder Eyring gave a good talk this
morning, and I know he was talking to me when he spoke of an
experience he had and said, "I'm not giving you these
experiences for yourself, write them down." ...record them for
your children, in the future. So, at least today, I'm writing
again.

I know both moms and my sweet wife have asked when I was going to
start the JOTD again. Maybe today...

I can't believe it's been 4 months since son #4's last MRI. A
week from tomorrow is his next one. Wish us luck!

Enjoy today.
Marty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, July 30, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I told you in my last issue that I'd tell you what the
worst thing in the world you could hear while you're on a
week long Pioneer trek. How about if the Stake President
(Who, by the way, plays a mean guitar background while penny
whistles are playing!) came up to me during the trek on
Thursday afternoon, put his hand on my shoulder and said,
"Your mother-in-law called one of my councilors to relay a
message. It seems you had some flooding problems at your
house." Ugg... Ok, not the worst thing in the world, but it's
up there on the list.

On Wednesday night when son #3 came down to let Buddy the dog
in, everything was fine. But when he went back on Thursday
morning he opened the front door and there was water spurting
out from under the kitchen sink. He ran back to Grandma's
house to alert the troops. I guess a fitting on the hot water
supply line came apart right under the sink fixture. We
figure it ran all night long, maybe up to 15 hours.

Grandma and Grandpa ran down, turned off the water main line,
and stood there in disbelief. It was a huge mess. The two
basement drains worked pretty well, but not well enough.
There was about 2 inches of water over most of the basement,
and it got to most everything; all of the carpet, my sweet
wife's art supplies, some of her finished paintings, the
kids' video games, their computers, the laundry, and all of
the "stuff" that comes with having 6 messy people in a modest
home. Fortunately my computer and a lot of my genealogy
pictures and files were saved.

After working on it a while, Grandma and Grandpa decided it
was a larger job then they could handle. Luckily they were
collecting our mail and found an insurance notice with our
agent's phone number on it. They called and the agent got a
clean up crew out there within an hour. Funny thing though,
since then I've been working with the insurance adjuster, but
I have yet to hear from my agent. He hasn't even called to say,
"So, how ya doing?" yet. Hmm... Do they just sell you
stuff and then collect money over the next 30 years?

In the basement, with 70's style paneling and a (really?) wet
bar we rarely used, we've decided to rip everything out and
remodel. We think this plan will fit nicely in to our
schedule. However, now that the Pioneer trek is over, there's
still a small matter of week long Boy Scout camp, being in
charge of a 25 year HS reunion, "ride for kids" and the
"rubber ducky derby" next month. So we'll just take one day
at a time.

On the other hand, with all trials there are always some
lessons to be learned. Here are a few of mine;

1.) Trudging across the Rocky Mountains pulling everything
you own on a handcart, gives you a different perspective on
the blessings you already have. So now, whenever I tell
people about our flood, I use my new three favorite words;
"It's just stuff"

2.) Although living down the street from your in-laws can be
a double edged sword, if your in-laws are a cool as mine,
it's really a blessing. (At least for us it is, I can't speak
for them [grin])

3.) Having replacement coverage insurance is a must. I think
this is the only claim we've had on our homeowners insurance
in the last 20 years, and I'm grateful that our adjustor is
good to work with. (But that agent of ours...)

4.) Having replacement coverage insurance is also a double
edged sword;
   "You have $7,000 worth of contents (or "stuff") damage.
   But, the depreciation value is $4,500. In order to get your
   additional $2,500, you have to buy $7,000 worth of "stuff"
   and show us the receipts."
Not that having to buy $7,000 worth of "stuff" is necessarily
bad, but it would have been nice to put the money in the bank
and buy "stuff" only after we needed it. When I first heard
about the flood, I was looking forward to just throwing out
most of our "stuff" and starting over. I'm now convinced that
this is result of the scripture `prove me now herewith...
...[I'll] open you the windows of heaven and pour you out a
blessing that there shall not be room enough to receive it'
(Malachi 3:10). Ok, I get it. Tithing works, very well thank
you...

5.) And finally, I've learned that there is perspective in
everything. Years ago I would have thought that a trial with
a flooded basement was a big deal. After dealing with a
pediatric brain tumor and all that goes with it, this trial
is a walk in the park.

So, day to day, we're still learning and plugging along.

And, hare are a couple more things that are happening. Son #4
got invited to a golf tournament put on by Smith's grocery
store, raising money for Primary Children's Medical Center.
(his brain tumor hospital). Son #4 got to play in a pee-wee
golf tournament with Rod Zundle, one of the local sports
casters. Rod seemed pretty busy practicing his swing at the
driving range, calling on his cell to get the Jazz Bear and
his cameraman there, but once they started playing golf, they
seemed to do well. I've got some good video that they played
on the news last night; I just have to remember how to post
it on the web for you to see. Out of the 8 teams, son #4 and
Rod didn't get the best score, but he did win a blue 4 gig
Ipod nano. It holds 1000 songs. I'm not sure he even knows
that many songs! [Side Note; The night before the tournament
I told son #4 we needed to get out my putter and practice
putting. His response? "What's a putter?" When he won the
Ipod, Rod Zundel (on camera) said, "Look son #4, you won an
Ipod!" His response? "What's an Ipod?"]

Son's #1 and #2 thought the Ipod was pretty cool, but son #3
was a bit jealous. "Mom, it's been 2 years since son #4 had a
brain tumor, and he's STILL getting free stuff. It's not
fair!" Yup, he's right, but what can you say to him?

"I'm sure he'd trade you places if he could..."
"He'll be blind all of his life..."
"He didn't ask for it..."
"People are just trying to be nice to him..."

None seem to be the right thing to say.

And, what do you do?
Buy son #3 him his own? No, that rewards whining.
Buy #1, #2, and #3 their own? No, too expensive and wasteful.
Sell son #4's and get something he could use? Maybe...
Convince son #4 to give it to dad and all will be well with
the world? Yeah, that's the best idea.
We're trying to pay more attention to son #3, but he senses
it and wants even more. How can 4 personalities be so
different?

So, life goes on...

Enjoy
Marty