Hi there,

This is a group to provide support for lesbian and LGBTQ partners of abuse, sexual assault and rapesurvivors. Partners need to be understood and talk about things too. Please feel free to say hello or tell us your story. To read posts click on the word "messages" in the left column.

"It is obvious that a sexual assault affects not only the victim, but those closest to her. However, unlike straight couples, in which the man may be sympathetic but basically a stranger to the issue, assault may be a personal experience for both partners in a lesbian relationship. "More often than not," comments a woman who has counseled victims of anti-lesbian violence, "when you're dealing with a lesbian couple, you're dealing with someone who's beenraped ten years earlier, and someone who's beenraped recently." In other words, so many women are victims of assault at one point in their life that one woman's assault can trigger upsetting or traumatic memories in her lover. This may either allow the partner of a rapevictim to be especially supportive; or it may lead to tension and distance if she is unable to cope with her own memories. And like all partners of rapevictims, the partner may feel inadequate for not having protected her lover properly, or even angry at her lover for letting the assault happen. All of these reactions are common ones, and a combination of both individual and couple counseling is generally recommended when a lesbian couple is affected by an anti-lesbian assault." http://danenet.wicip.org/dcccrsa/saissues/lesbian.html

Another good source of support is http://www.rainbowhope.org
Resources for partners: http://www.ibiblio.org/rcip//partners.html#lp

I hope you feel this space is a safe place to ask questions and lend moral support. Please join in and help form a support source for partners.