Having problems with message search?
I emailed with an internet coach for her ideas and our discussion as follow. I also make remarks on coaching aspects as insert in the discussion for coaching community.
(Note: Mindset Emotion Coaching uses Energy Psychology as per http://www.360q.com/Heal/EP.htm
)
____________
I wrote:
>Need your advice:
12 yr old girl pulled her hair till bald, secretly in the bathroom without
telling people. Apparently unconsciously or cannot control herself, and
did not feel the pain or suffering. Mother said there was no serious
disturbance in her life, not during childhood, nor now, except she easily
gets angry, feels inferior to her more lovable bigger sister, who catches
people attention.
>The above is only the opinion of the mother. During first Mindset Emotion
Coaching session,
she related her more pleasant stories, but not in the above direction.
>You advice, please.
Reply ....
Trichotillomania is often associated with stress, OCD, and low self
esteem, but it sounds like she could be using it to control her anger as
well. Trust and rapport building is essential for this age group.
Validation and mirroring are important in this endeavor. Perhaps a
simple... "Even though I'm so mad I pull my hair out I'm still a really
awesome person." ...would be a good start. You could also try having her
get in touch with what it feels like right before she pulls her hair and
have her paint a picture in her mind of what that feeling looks like. Have
her pay attention to any colors that come up. Then ask her what emotion
would she associate with that picture. For example, if she describes the
picture as a vulcano ready to erupt and the colors are red and yellow,
then apply Energy Psychology on, "Even though I feel this fiery red and
yellow vulcano and it
makes me want to pull my hair...".
Hope this helps. Send us an update if you can.
Forrest,
<Remarks for Coaching Community : from the above, it implies the coachee-client has
self-esteem problem, emotional problem, inferiority complex. Like any form of coaching
– rapport building is emphasized. Importance of mental picture hence mindset>
I wrote:
>Dear Forrest Samnik
>I appreciate very much your views, suggestions and advice. I find them
very useful.
>Let me share a bit more and hopefully get more insight from you.
>During the 1st Mindset Emotion Coaching session, knowing the hair pulling
problem from the mum
and little other information, I was cautious (or over cautions) not to go
directly into the problem, hoping she will bring out the problem herself,
but she did not, even with my indirect hinting. Further the mum brought
her to see a psychiatrist and she refused to talk, ended with only
medication. Hence I was careful to focus on building rapport and managed
to get her telling her stories, mostly pleasant childhood stories, ... a
little bit of dispute with her school mates etc. which I apply Energy Psychology.
>I was also worried in case there was serious trauma before and she is not
ready to face it, let alone accept it, hence express such negative
emotion in hair pulling.
>The mum managed to convince her to see me again for 2nd session.
>What should be a better approach now? to go direct into the problem?
Again appreciate your views.
Reply ....
So am I hearing the client does not know that you know about the hair
pulling? If so, have you ascertained what her goals are for treatment? Let
her lead you where she wants to go. You might try, "Most people come to
see me because there have some thoughts, memories, or feelings that are
keeping them from really enjoying their life. I'm wondering what thought,
feeling, or memory keeps you from enjoying your life to the fullest that
we could work on today.
My thoughts are with you, Andrew,
Forrest
<Remarks for Coaching Community:
Mindful that the coachee-client would not even want to open up to certified,
professional psychiatrist (more qualified than me) I have to mentally prepare
well during the first session to build good rapport. I was lucky, she opened up
and tell her stories, mostly pleasant stories of her current and past.
The internet coach-friend emphasized importance of client setting Goal
(like GROW coaching model) gave good and powerful coaching questions as suggestion
for me>
I wrote:
>Forest, thanks again.
>Some more sharing .....
>She "knows" her problem from adults' reaction e.g.Mum's anxiety
about
her, sending her to see doctors on her hair pulling and psychiatrist ,
and she had to wear wig to school to cover the bald head ....
>My theory is a) she has no clue whatsoever or rather why is the problem,
or b) she is too scared to face the real problem or trauma, if any. Hence
either case, she cannot and would not tell what is the problem or goal.
>I just happened to treat her the 2nd time (today) ..
>After the initial rapport building. ..I went straight into the subject
matter .."I heard from your mum that a few days ago you pull your hair
again? what happened and how did you feel?" ... she just smiled with
innocence, and she had no answer, no clues whatsoever.
>Using Energy Psychology
"Even though I did not know what happen ... can't control
myself and I injure myself by pulling my hair, ... even though I do not
recall or cannot express what feeling I have .... I accept ...I forgive
....etc."
>..... then a long silence and tear flowed ...
>"How do you feel now"
>"I feel happy"
>She is a child, with few words, and her sincerity wanting to solve her
problem, without knowing what is the problem is real.
>The session ended with her smiling and she promised apply Energy Psychology on
herself whenever she feels something negative though she could not
articulate the negativity.
>Hope to find out more later on her situation.
>Again thanks for your presence with me in helping the little girl
>Andrew
Reply ....
Wow! How awesome are you?!? You really put yourself into that little girl's
place and went from an intuitive place. You can rarely go wrong working
from that place. You had to go home feeling pretty satisfied today. Nice
work!
Forrest
The next Energy Psychology < http://www.360q.com/Heal/EP.htm >training class is on March 14-15th, 2009. Sat and Sun
Cheers
Andrew
Offline 
Send Email