Dear Caleb san, dear all,

Thank you for another collection from distant and exotic parts, Caleb!
What a great opportunity to spend a few days away in places we cannot
easily reach. These were written in Voi.

early morning--
a fresh ant-hill on their
dusty compound

Amazing! Are you saying that this was built overnight? I suggest
replacing "their" by "a", as we do not quite know who "they" are.


Sagala hill--
two women walk close
on a dusty road

Very beautiful. Very scenic and lovely to imagine.


Makongeni--
dusty paths separate
the sisal plantation

Great view for our minds. I can see it before me.

Mokongeni (as you say, a place where sisal is planted, mostly on a
large scale) is in this haiku in Voi. We also have a Makongeni in
Nairobi (where it has become simply a place name -- the sisal itself
disappeared a long time ago). There must be many makongenis in Kenya...


February morning--
I climb a fallen tree
for a photo

If the tree has already fallen, you did not have to climb very far
<grin>!


exhausted--
I balance on a dusty bench
for a nap

I like the use of the verb "balance", which adds extra clarity and
interest to the haiku.


Voi at dawn--
snowy hill-tops brighten
us up

Caleb san, that cannot be possible! I believe (but please prove me
wrong!) that in Kenya, only Mount Kenya has snow. I cannot imagine any
snow so low down by the coast. Perhaps what you saw was clouds around
the hilltops?


Voi dawn--
he sleeps on a dusty
shopkeeper's bench

Who is "he"? It would be easier to say "sleeping" instead of "he
sleeps". We can then use our own minds to imagine the scene -- is it
yourself? Is it the shopkeeper? We shall never know, but that bit of
mystery is very nice in a haiku.

More here :

www.caleb-haiku-collection.blogspot.com/serach/label/Voi Collection

Thank you again, and wishing you a restful Sunday and a good week!

Isabelle.