Sorry about the overload of emails ... I'm just trying to get them out of the
way before I head off to Moscow, where I may be out of contact for 11 days.
-- Steve Sailer
Film of the week: Spectacular "Atlantis"
By STEVE SAILER, UPI National Correspondent
<A HREF="http://www.vny.com/cf/News/upidetail.cfm?QID=194240">
http://www.vny.com/cf/News/upidetail.cfm?QID=194240</A>
LOS ANGELES, June 14 (UPI) -- "Atlantis: The Lost Empire" is Disney's
spectacular Jules Verne-style adventure cartoon about a 1914 undersea
expedition.
The always-likable Michael J. Fox provides the voice of nerdy young linguist
Milo Thatch. As the only scholar who can read an ancient manuscript written
in "Atlantean," Milo is hired to interpret for a lavishly bankrolled
submarine expedition. It hopes to find the technologically advanced, yet
environmentally correct, utopia that sank 8,800 years ago, but has been
protected ever since by an energy shield powered by New Age crystals (or
something).
Lacking the singing, dancing, and talking animals of Disney's typical
animated features, "Atlantis" is aimed at older little boys repelled by
Disney's girly reputation. My 12-year-old son wouldn't go because he doesn't
want any of his friends to ever hear of him watching another Disney cartoon,
but my 8-year-old boy found "Atlantis" exciting.
Animated features are trickier to evaluate than a typical live-action film.
While movies for grown-ups try to deliver all the goods in a single viewing,
animated features are made for kids to watch over and over on home video.
Having seen it only once, "Atlantis" struck me as a little too fast-paced,
almost to the point of sensory overload. The slam-bang action scenes seemed
herky-jerky. Similarly, a lot of the wisecracks zipped by me.
On the other hand, this visual intensity and verbal density might be just
about right for a home video.
On the other other hand, VHS won't do justice to the wonderful panoramas in
"Atlantis." Disney's computer-assisted hand drawing created magnificently
detailed landscapes and formidable machines. The crumbling empire of Atlantis
looks like the incomparable Cambodian ruined city of Angkor Wat plunked down
amidst the cliffs and beaches of Rio de Janeiro. In the future, when more
homes have DVD players and big flat screen TV's, "Atlantis" will finally come
into its own.
On the other (ahh, forget it) ... Many of the characters are pointlessly
ugly. The people are supposed to look realistic, even heroic -- that's why
they have five fingers instead of the four found in comic cartoons such as
"The Simpsons." Yet, Disney hired comic-book artist Mike Mignola, who draws
the disturbing "Hellboy" series, to give them his awkward, angular style.
Milo's leader on the journey is the manly Commander Rourke (James Garner),
who calls himself an "adventure capitalist." Apparently pursuant to the
Affirmative Action Act of 1913, Rourke leads an ethnically and gender diverse
crew, which provides a field guide to the modern movie industry's reigning
racial prejudices.
In Hollywood's eyes, the lowest dregs of humanity are the Germans, who are
here represented by Rourke's right-hand woman, Helga, a vicious proto-Nazi.
Less evil than the Teutons -- but still unsanitary and laughable -- are the
French. Moliere (or "Mole" for short) is the dirt and fly-covered semi-human
comic relief.
On the middle tier of the Hollywood Hierarchy of Humanity are the Ellis
Island immigrants. Demolitions expert Vinny Santorini (hilariously voiced by
Don Novello, using the deadpan cadences of his Father Guido Sarducci
character) reminds us that, according to 70 years of film lore, Sicilians are
thuggish but fascinating. Jews, such as the cynical old lady radio operator,
kvetch a lot, but in an amusing way.
At the peak of the moral pyramid are the People of Color. The expedition's
chief mechanic is a pugnacious but kind-hearted teenage Latina. Its surgeon
is the Shaquille O'Neal-sized Dr. Sweet. You can tell that the good doctor
will indeed be the epitome of sweetness when he reveals that not only was his
father black, but that his mother was Native American.
Still, not even this paragon can compare to the endangered Atlanteans. Led
by the curvaceous yet strong-minded Princess Kidakagash, they sport the
pan-Third World good looks of Tiger Woods. Of course, they also have trendy
platinum blonde hair. The Atlanteans turn out to be - surprise! --
nonmaterialistic.
In an equally stunning turn, Helga turns out to be a genocidal mercenary who
intends to steal the Atlanteans' precious power crystals and sell them to the
Kaiser. In Hollywood, the only thing more popular than making
anti-capitalist, anti-German, pro-environment movies is taking the profits
from them and buying $80,000 Mercedes-Benzes that get 12 miles to the gallon.
What is actually unsettling, though, is that Garner's Commander Rourke is
also in on the scheme. This bothered my son no end. Disney has trained kids
that villains are supposed to be effete English-accented connivers like
Jeremy Irons in "The Lion King," not brave Irish-American soldiers.
Also, if they wanted Commander Rourke to be a bad guy, they should have
hired Mickey Rourke, not James Garner. In his 44 years since debuting as TV's
"Maverick," Garner has provided America's model of manly affability. Is age
73 really the time for Garner to start a new career as a villain?
Rated "PG" for cartoon violence (including a gun battle) that might be too
scary for toddlers.