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A blessed feast of Saint Augustine of Canterbury, OSB, Apostle of England to
all! May he bless his adopted land with abundant graces from God and may all the
sainted Benedictines who followed him watch over and intercede for England.

Particularly appropriate today is a request for the Hallam Diocese Cursillo
being held this weekend, in Sheffield, England. Prayers, too, for John, one of
our readers, a Cursillisto himself, who will be helping some folks get there.
Prayers, too, that two children may be found. Dylan is 9 and Shasta is 8, their
mother, her boyfriend and their older brother were all murdered and these two
are missing. Lord, help them as You know and will. God's will is best. All is
mercy and grace. God is never absent, praise Him! Thanks so much. JL

January 26, May 27, September 26
Chapter 7: On Humility

The first degree of humility, then,
is that a person keep the fear of God before his eyes
and beware of ever forgetting it.
Let him be ever mindful of all that God has commanded;
let his thoughts constantly recur
to the hell-fire which will burn for their sins
those who despise God,
and to the life everlasting which is prepared
for those who fear Him.
Let him keep himself at every moment from sins and vices,
whether of the mind, the tongue, the hands, the feet,
or the self-will,
and check also the desires of the flesh.

REFLECTION

Not just the ascent to humility, but every aspect of the spiritual
journey may be improved by meditating on the ends to which our
actions will lead us. How many times does a parent tell a child who
is discouraged and about to quit that the child must think of the
reward (bike, whatever,) at the end of the efforts. "How nice it will
be to have that!" Precisely! It is not just children whose flagging
spirits can be bolstered by recalling the achievement to come!

A great deal of the monastic struggle is just plain distastefully
hard and unpleasant. Fail to lighten the load a bit by recalling the
joys to come and you heighten the chances of failure. Heaven is real
or our lives mean nothing at all. Trust it's reality, think about
that reality, remind yourself of the wonders at hand.

I write the following as one who has come as close as
possible to believing that absolutely everyone is in heaven as the
limits of Roman Catholic orthodoxy allow. We must believe hell
exists. It is real, it may be empty and we must (out of charity,)
hope to find it so, but hey, we COULD be wrong. Wouldn't be very
nice, but it is just slightly possible that the spheres and wheels of
eternal reward do not spin on the axis of our opinion! Nothing says
things have to be the way we personally think they will be. Nor do
the many visions of hell seen by saints seem to bear out this hope.
They saw people there, alas.

Hell is as real as heaven. Choices as real as those which lead to
heaven can lead to hell. No one can WIN their own salvation, that has
been done once for all by Christ, but anyone at all can LOSE their
salvation. Choose something really dumb which would lead to hell and
it is not a wise practice to assume one will have time to repent.
Maybe. Maybe not. A well-timed 18 wheeler truck may just have your
name on its front fender. We never know.

I'll bet all of us have done things we would NOT want to do within
seconds of death and facing God. That's what these meditations on
hell and heaven are about. They point out forcefully to us that we
ought not to do things that would put us in that sort of bind. It's
not at all about figuring out whether or not hell exists, it does.
The issue is not who is or isn't frying therein, we have no way of
knowing. All those ideas are railroad sidings which lead to nowhere.
Don't park your train in a dead end. It's a waste of precious time.

Think on heaven and think on hell. If either one (and it's usually
hell,) makes you crazy, balance your thinking. One of the surest
signs of the devil's hands in the mud of our thoughts is loss of
serenity. Truly divine things, even when unspeakably hard, do not
produce the same haunting, panicky feeling that Satan can bring out
of the tiniest things. Another key is discouragement. If your
obsessed focus is discouraging, that's bad news.

It is, however, crucially important to think on our ends. Don't freak out
on the road to heaven, because Jesus said: "I am the Way." As such,
all the road to heaven is heaven (as St. Catherine of Siena said,)
even when it seems otherwise, because Jesus IS that Way. On the
other hand, rightly and wisely freak out like crazy on any path of action that
leads away from heaven, away from Christ. That is a scary road, indeed!


Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
jeromeleo@...
St. Mary's Monastery
Petersham, MA

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

Prayers, please, for premie baby Izeck. A brain hemorrhage has resulted in some
damage that may impair his later development or speech. Prayers of Deo gratias
for Cherie, the young girl with a similar problem for whom we prayed. She is
showing slow improvement. More thanks to God for Michelle, the young mother with
cancer for whom we prayed. She is slowly deteriorating, but her trust in God
remains and even grow deeper, as does her family's trust in Him. Ardent prayers
for this brave young woman and all her loved ones. Prayers for Jean and Reggie,
that God grace them fully to keep their good resolution! Lord, help them as You
know and will. God's will is best. All is mercy and grace. God is never absent,
praise Him. Thanks so much.  JL



January 27, May 28, September 27
Chapter 7: On Humility

Let a man consider
that God is always looking at him from heaven,
that his actions are everywhere visible to the divine eyes
and are constantly being reported to God by the Angels.
This is what the Prophet shows us
when he represents God as ever present within our thoughts,
in the words "Searcher of minds and hearts is God" (Ps. 7:10)
and again in the words "The Lord knows the thoughts of men" (Ps.
93:11).
Again he says,
"You have read my thoughts from afar" (Ps. 138:3)
and "The thoughts of people will confess to You" (Ps. 75:11).

In order that he may be careful
about his wrongful thoughts, therefore,
let the faithful brother say constantly in his heart,
"Then shall I be spotless before Him,
if I have kept myself from my iniquity" (Ps. 17:24).

REFLECTION

Most of us try to keep our worst secrets and flaws hidden from
others, it's only natural. Therein lies the problem: it's ONLY
natural, and we are called to the supernatural. If we all have a
false self within us that we do see, the one we don't see, which we
project to others whom we wish to impress, is even more false. We
LIKE to be liked, that's no secret, but in order to be liked we try
to make a secret of our seamier sides.

We cannot fool God at all. Our false self is ashes before Him. If we
think He sees only what we project, we have a long, long battle ahead
of us. I hope it is true of all of us that at least some of that
false self falls away when we are alone with God. The more we learn
to see ourselves as truthfully and adequately as He sees us, the
closer we come to genuine humility.

What the Holy Rule is telling us is that our false self is ashes
EVERYWHERE, that the only truth, the only self is the one seen by
God. We cannot see all the truth of that self before death: God is
infinite and omniscient and we are decidedly not. We must, however,
strain our eyes to see every bit we can, seeing ever more and more of
our truth until death calls us home for a complete view. Roman
Catholic that I am, I'll bet when many get that complete view, they
are MOST relieved to jump into purgatory for a (hopefully!) quick
shower before the feast! I know I will be!

One serious problem with religious life or ministry in the Roman
Catholic church is that there is a rather generally accepted
unwritten law that what is presented to the faithful and to the world
is a false self. My church may give a bit of ardent lip service to
the concept of wounded healers, but it often does NOT like them They make
many in power terribly uncomfortable, even more so if the wound is
even remotely sexual.

Of course this stance is so wrong that, to my knowledge, no one has
ever had the guts to put it directly into writing, but the message one is
expected to convey to the "sheep" is pricelessly clear: "I'm OK and you
are not...." Even more unfortunate, the real pros at this kind of stuff often
present that stance with a greater than average level of arrogance. How
winning! What a neat response to our mandate to gather souls in the net...

That might actually work sometimes- false things generally do for a while-
it's Satan's way of fooling us. It might actually reach some truly out of
touch people, or some who have only a fleeting exposure. It does not
work, nor does any false thing, in the long run. Some people may be
helped in spite of our efforts, but to be really effective, we must
be really true, really transparent. We must stand before others as we
stand before God if we expect to bear real fruit.

I am sure that many probably disapprove of my candor in these posts
about my HIV antibody status and my orientation. Hey, I did say it was a
rather generally accepted unwritten law of silence, didn't I? By the grace
of God- and only by His grace- I am a celibate monk. Where is the cause
for shame or in that condition?

I cannot agree with those reservations. If the only models we can offer to
any kind of sinner are tremblingly closeted numbers living in secrecy and
shame, what sort of well-adjusted sinner would jump at such a deal and return
prodigally home? It is often our shared past sinfulness that makes our best
preaching point.

I think we often dress cowardice and false selves as prudence and
send them off to the ball as unsullied debutantes. Sorry, beloveds, I
can't pull that off: people would die laughing if I even tried. The coach
would be back to pumpkin and mice LONG before midnight!

I also know what candor has done in my own ministry. I know that
approaching flawed people as flawed myself is immeasurably helpful
to them and a considerable relief to all concerned, too! I know what
a gift it has been to myself, as well, setting me free to feel I am OK and
at home in a  Church that should truly be a home to all.

Over 1,500 years ago, St. Benedict called us all to the humility, to
the truth that St. Thomas Aquinas defined as: "the agreement of the
mind with reality." Amen! That was the truth he wished us to present
to ourselves and to the world, as best we could. The closer we get to
extinguishing the false self in every arena, the closer we are to
God. The closer we are to God, the greater good we can accomplish for
His Body, His people.

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
jeromeleo@...
Petersham, MA

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

How delighted I am that now over 1,500 people world-wide receive the Holy Rule
and prayer requests daily. It is a great joy and a humbling privilege to be able
to send it to you.

Spam is a HUGE problem on my computer. I cannot "tighten" the controls any
further, because my address is the one for prayers from the monastery website,
to which any one who visits might write. Two thirds or more of my e mails every
day are spam.

I am writing to ask all of you that, if you write to me, please be sure to
include "prayer request" or "Holy Rule" or something like that in the subject
line, because there are many now whose addresses will not recognize. I have
almost deleted a beautiful message more than once because I wasn't sure. I also
have to be very careful about sneaky viruses, because this is the computer the
monastery relies upon for the web page. As such, I am often afraid or unwilling
to open attachments, unless I know the person is sending me one. I feel that I
owe that caution to the community, and to the VERY kind donor who gave us this
computer.

I will not always be able to answer prayer requests individually and I feel
guilty about that, but sometimes I get behind or just get swamped. Please
understand if your only response is to see your request in the intentions,
because sometimes that is the only response I give. True, guilt-ridden
half-Irish man, I save the messages I can't get to for so long that I finally
delete them in embarrassment- it'd be a bit silly to answer a week after I had
posted the intention. Sigh.... I am sorry to not be a better correspondent than
I am, but sometimes a post will come that takes precedence for very good reasons
and all my energies go to that.

I LOVE passing on prayer requests, but I have long been afraid that I may
accidentally have deleted some of yours because of the problems I outlined here.
I hope I haven't, but if I have, please forgive me and send it again with a
clear subject line. God is outside of time and it is never too late to pray.

Thanks to all of you for the wonderful sense of community I feel with every
post, a true gift and joy to me.

Love and prayers,
Jerome

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

A blessed Solemnity of the Body and Blood of Christ to all who celebrate Corpus
Christi today- and to all who celebrated on Thursday, too! What an awesome
privilege it is to have had Jesus truly, bodily in our midst for 2,000 years!
The Eucharist is the very beating heart of the Church. Deo gratias!!!

Prayers, please, for Denis, 21, who has died of leukemia, and for all his family
and friends who mourn him. Prayers, too, for Louis, Kim, Darla, and Bonnie, for
strength and grace. Lord, help them as You know and will. God's will is best.
All is mercy and grace. God is never absent, praise Him! Thanks so much. JL

January 28, May 29, September 28
Chapter 7: On Humility

As for self-will,
we are forbidden to do our own will
by the Scripture, which says to us,
"Turn away from your own will" (Eccles. 18:30),
and likewise by the prayer in which we ask God
that His will be done in us.
And rightly are we taught not to do our own will
when we take heed to the warning of Scripture:
"There are ways which seem right,
but the ends of them plunge into the depths of hell" (Prov. 16:25);
and also when we tremble at what is said of the careless:
"They are corrupt and have become abominable in their will."

And as for the desires of the flesh,
let us believe with the Prophet that God is ever present to us,
when he says to the Lord,
"Every desire of mine is before You" (Ps. 37:10).

REFLECTION

Revolutions usually have several things in common: they respond to a
need, they go too far in some areas, not far enough in others and
they tend to brand those not agreeing with them as criminal or
psychotic. Look at Soviet Russia for most of the 20th century and you
will see all of these. Look further back at the French Revolution and
you will find that 1917 in Petrograd offered nothing new, perhaps new
names for certain aspects, but nothing else.

The last decades of the 20th century saw a tremendous psychological
revolution in the West. Its effects were perhaps greatest in some
religious circles, where those once wary of psychology now embraced
it more or less wholesale. Pieces of our psycho-spiritual world view
definitely needed change and correction. Unfortunately, like the Bolsheviks
and French before them, the revolutionaries shot the Imperial family and
guillotined a lot of otherwise very fine people. Their zeal went a bit too far
and they were often followed unquestioningly.

In those years, a close and scathing look was taken at religious
obedience and the personal will. It certainly was necessary. All
manner of idiocy had often obtained under the accept-without-any-
question syndrome. Sadly, but predictably, the pendulum swung in a
very un-Benedictine fashion to the opposite extreme: question
everything and accept nothing. Personal will, formerly maligned as a
foolish, worthless and even dangerous entity was now elevated to
lofty, noble heights that it frankly did not deserve. Not
astoundingly, both extremes missed the middle road of truth.

Human will is at once both potentially noble and hopelessly flawed.
Without God and grace assisting, the prognosis is not good. For
Christians, however, God's grace and aid ARE available, but they come
at the price of cooperation and cooperation demands a certain
sacrifice of our own wills, often even a total sacrifice of them.

It is perhaps harder for us to see the necessity of abandoning our
wills than it has been for many before us. We are traipsing through
the spiritual road with all kinds of extraneous, late 20th century
baggage about autonomy and maturity and self-actualization carried to
false extremes.

Balance, always balance, always moderation in the
Benedictine way! Our wills can be good and wonderful. It is, after
all, with our wills that we answer God's call. But part of His call
is to forget the self and forget its willful tantrums.

It is fatal to spiritual growth and to community to infer too great a
maturity or too little. Monastics are not children, but most adults
have not totally arrived, either! It is foolish to trust those under
our care with nothing, but equally so to empower them to virtually
anything. That's just not how monastic life works. St. Benedict
bluntly says that his followers DESIRE to live under an abbot. If any
have seriously changed their minds about this, maybe it's time to go.

A good superior will keep one from being too easy on oneself, but
will also protect one from being too hard on oneself. I cannot tell
you the number of times submitting a matter to my superior has
resulted in something FAR less gruesome than what I had obsessively
planned for myself! Obedience can and does protect us!

Some of the wonderful things said about personal will are true, to a
point, but the revolution failed to emphasize the fact that our wills do
NOT come with gyroscopes or guarantees. As such, their trustworthiness
as compasses is far from absolute. The superior, the Rule, the Gospel,
these are the gyroscopes that enable us to will true North! Without these
helps, our journey could very easily make the "Rime of the Ancient Mariner"
(or the maiden voyage of the Titanic, if one prefers...) look like a Sunday
afternoon swan boat ride in Boston's Public Gardens.

Finally, St. Benedict supports his argument with Scripture. It's a
clever way of saying: "Hey, you want to argue this? Take it up with
God." That's where he threw the gauntlet, all those years ago. No one
in their right mind would dare pick it up.

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
jeromeleo@...
Petersham, MA

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

Cheryl is visiting here this weekend and asks prayers for her son-in-law, Don,
who is having heart palpitations and worrying cardiac troubles. She asked me
over breakfast coffee, just after I had sent out today's post, so remember Don,
and Cheryl, too.

We discussed something else that I wanted to wait before posting until I had
further word from Cheryl. I think you will understand why. Jan Lord, known to
many of us on Monastic Life list and Oblateforum, an Oblate of Valyermo and a
wonderful woman, died recently by her own hand. It was shattering for her
husband, family, her best friend, Cheryl, and the community at Valyermo, many of
whom were very close to her. Prayers, for all of them, especially Peter, her
husband, and Meredith, her daughter, who found her body.

Cheryl wants to write something herself about Jan for a couple of the lists, but
does not feel ready yet. This has hit her so very hard. I told her that I would
write this today. While she was able to go to the funeral, she is living in New
England just now and feels so far away from her friends and helpless to help
them, other than by phone.

Jan began a downward spiral with mental illness somewhat over a year ago.
Towards the end, she suffered terribly, had awful feelings of being lost, having
"rejected" God and turned her back on Jesus. These temptations to despair are
common enough in the spiritual life, but one can safely imagine how horribly
magnified and even seemingly infallible they became when the mental illness took
over. None of us can guess at her suffering, none of us.

I did not know Jan as well as Cheryl or some of you, but I did have some private
e mail contact with her and I knew her to be a wonderful woman, with a great
heart for God and others. I cannot stress strongly enough that mental illness
blurred that, just as any physical illness can impair the functions of this or
that body system. My heart breaks for her, but I have no doubt that the extent
of her illness made free choice impossible for her at the end. Cheryl tried and
tried and Jan could hear nothing. She was no longer herself. Other attempts were
made, but by family, but without success. Interventions failed.

Our prayers today can win Jan the grace of a happy death. God is outside of time
and He credits them where they are needed most. Supported by our prayers, I have
the firmest faith that, in her last agony, Jesus Himself could convince her face
to face of the things no one here on earth could, and that she accepted His
embrace with joy and relief, sick and tortured no longer.

This is a heart-rending tragedy. I think, however, that I must report a joy in
the midst of all this. The Abbot of Valyermo, Abbot Francis, was very, very
close to Jan. Her funeral was celebrated at the Abbey last Saturday and she is
buried in their cemetery, among the monks and oblates she loved so well. Please
keep her troubled soul in your prayers, especially in your Divine Mercy
chaplets. Please keep Cheryl and Jan's family in ardent prayer, too, as well as
the community at Valyermo.

I think Cheryl will forgive me for reporting that yesterday she was sobbing and
sobbing in my arms- the kind of good, cathartic tears that just pour and help
heal the heart. I told her what struck me in that instant of holding her and her
tears and grief as tightly as I could. This all happened from an Email list.
None of us would ever have known each other with Monastic Life list or other
email fora. Again and again I am awed and bowed very low with humble gratitude
for the exquisite gift and grace of community that God has given us where none
might ever have expected it to spring up.  Deo gratias for you all!

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

Continued prayers, please, for Abigail, the young mother who was stabbed and
paralyzed that we have prayed for. She is gaining a bit more sensation in her
fingers and toes, and she did not (Deo gratias!) lose the baby she was carrying.
Family continues to pray to Pope John Paul II for a miracle and any so inclined
are most welcome to join those prayers.

I ask prayers for all who sent messages to me about Jan and Cheryl yesterday and
for all who prayed. I was able, after taking off names and addresses, to share
those messages with Cheryl and they were a comfort to her- and to me. I had, and
I know Cheryl did, too, a VERY heightened sense of the supportive, loving
community of cyber-space that we have become, that we are all privileged to
share. Thanks so much. It was wonderful for me on a day already beautiful
liturgically, to further bask in the warmth of our shared connections, made
prominent in a way that suffering often brings them to the fore. Truly, we are
all one Body of Christ! Deo gratias!!!

Prayers, please, for all service men and women who died in wars and for their
families and all the casualties of war. (It is Memorial Day in the US, a day
when we especially remember such folks.) May we extend those prayers to all
those we love who have died, too. Prayer is the best grave decoration we can
ever give. For our overseas readers, the US custom began after the Civil War,
when Confederate women began to decorate the graves of BOTH Southern and
Northern victims. It went a long way to healing things and the custom grew into
the current holiday long ago.

Prayers for Denise, who died yesterday of liver cancer, and for her husband,
four children and all her friends. Prayers, too, for Bill, who has died, for his
wife Judy, daughters Stephanie and Jessica and all their family and friends.
Lord, help them as You know and will. God's will is best. All is mercy and
grace. God is never absent, praise Him! Thanks so much.  JL

January 30, May 31, September 30
Chapter 7: On Humility

The second degree of humility
is that a person love not his own will
nor take pleasure in satisfying his desires,
but model his actions on the saying of the Lord,
"I have come not to do My own will,
but the will of Him who sent Me" (John 6:38).
It is written also,
"Self-will has its punishment,
but constraint wins a crown."

REFLECTION
[I am delighted that some of you actually know Comet, our Guesthouse Wonder Dog.
She is SUCH a classic!]

On some occasions, now that Mary lives with us, I get to look after
Comet, her dog. I know when I take care of Comet I try to be much more
careful than I usually am about many things. Comet is Mary's treasure and she
has trusted me with her. I don't goof off! I take extra care because I know
how dear she is to Mary.

See what I'm getting at? Caring for another's pet done right is an
example of coming not to do one's own will, but the will of one who
sent us. Monastic life done right would be looking at the whole of
our world, life and endeavor as pet care for God. Again and again, from the
greatest things in life to the smallest, He entrusts us with the care
of the apples of His eyes.

That extra care that one would take of a pet or, even more so, a
child one had been asked to watch, is the attitude we should have to
everything. This is mindfulness in the highest order. This is what
happens when the will we are obeying is Someone else's, not our own.
We take extra care with the things of God because they are His, not
our own.

Of course, the ultimate truth that this step points to is the fact
that NOTHING is really our own, everything is God's. We "own" nothing
in the absolute sense, that is, with the freedom to dispense or waste
or expend or destroy it with no responsibility at all for the common
good. Christians "own" things in stewardship for the good of all.

It may take all of our lives to realize it fully, but we are ALL
doing pet care for God, all the time, nothing less and nothing more!
And God, like a pet owner or parent who entrusts dear ones
to another, loves our carefulness very much and treasures us deeply!
How deep is our love for one who cares for someone we love, but
deeper still, infinitely so, is the love of God in this respect. Ah, the warmth
of His smile at such times!

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
jeromeleo@...
Petersham, MA

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

In the messages that have come to me about Jan, so many shared their own stories
of loss of loved ones from suicide. It would be hard to extract all their names
and some probably wouldn't even want that, so let us pray ardently for all those
whose tragic deaths broke the hearts of so many of our readers, and for all of
us they left behind. Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord and let perpetual
light shine upon them! May we, the living, meet them once again in Your arms and
Heart forever.

Prayers for Andrew, who overdosed on the drug ecstasy and is mending in the
hospital, but has a long recovery ahead, also for his worried friend, Matthew.
Prayers, please, for someone beginning an ardent fast, for Shirley, who injured
her knee badly and is in a lot of pain, for the Monks of Saint Leo Abbey, FL,
who are on their retreat this week, for Sarah, 12, diagnosed with adult
leukemia, being considered for stem cell transplant, the cost of her care is
crippling her family, who already cope with her brother, Mark, 24, severely
depressed and developmentally disabled from childhood treatments for ADD/HDD.
Prayers for all this family, especially the brave parents. Bill, for whom we
prayed, had a lot of difficulty after his surgery, finally with some kidney
failure. He is home now, but needs constant care and his wife, Barb, is really
worn out. Prayers for Jim, a World War II vet and prisoner of war, twice
widowed, he is having complications after triple bypass surgery which are
believed to be due to kidney malfunction. Prayers for all his family and those
who love him. Prayers for Sue, post traumatic stress disorder and major
depression, now hospitalized for chemo and back surgery, for Gail, whose cancer
remission lasted only a year and is now back on chemo, and for Dave, recovering
from cancer surgery and beginning chemo and radiation. Let us also pray for all
the kind folks- today and every day- who are loving enough to bring these needs
of others to our notice. Thirty-eight years ago today, I graduated from Tampa
Catholic High School. Prayers, please for all the teachers and students there
who changed my life forever for the better. Much of what I give you I received
from them. I urge all of you to pray daily for those who taught you. It is a
practice I love very much. Lord, help them as You know and will. God's will is
best. All is mercy and grace. God is never absent, praise Him!  Thanks so much. 
JL

[I mistakenly sent today's reading yesterday, so this is catching up.]

January 29, May 30, September 29
Chapter 7: On Humility

We must be on our guard, therefore, against evil desires,
for death lies close by the gate of pleasure.
Hence the Scripture gives this command:
"Go not after your concupiscences" (Eccles. 18:30).


So therefore,
since the eyes of the Lord observe the good and the evil (Prov. 15:3)
and the Lord is always looking down from heaven
on the children of earth
"to see if there be anyone who understands and seeks God" (Ps. 13:2),
and since our deeds are daily,
day and night,
reported to the Lord by the Angels assigned to us,
we must constantly beware, brethren,
as the Prophet says in the Psalm,
lest at any time God see us falling into evil ways
and becoming unprofitable (Ps. 13:3);
and lest, having spared us for the present
because in His kindness He awaits our reformation,
He say to us in the future,
"These things you did, and I held My peace" (Ps. 49:21).

REFLECTION

The theme of God seeking His laborers first expressed in the Prologue
comes back here, like background hints of melody woven through an
overture. God SEES us, yes, but He also SEEKS us, seeks those who
seek Him. If we forget that, God's loving, watchful care over us (He
assigns angels to us!) is reduced to the charm of a security camera,
an "Eye in the sky."

Ever lose somebody in airport? It's a funny sort of panic, because
both of you know that ultimately, somehow you will connect. Until
that happens, however, a lot of anxious hunting takes place. Do you
know the joy when two such people finally find each other? It ain't
slight! While one says "Thank God I found you!" the other is
saying, "But I was looking for you, too, EVERYWHERE!" There is a
great common blessing in such moments, one which far transcends the
anxiety of the search which preceded it.

That's how it is with God. While we are seeking Him, even BEFORE we
are seeking Him, He is seeking us. There is so much love in that searching,
on both parts. The novice is to be examined to see if she truly seeks God.
But the question is not just for novices. "Quaeremus inventum," said St.
Augustine:
"Let us seek Him Whom we have found." And so it goes. A monastic life done
right has seeking and finding writ large on every page, from beginning to end.

Angels got a bad press in the Roman Catholic world in the late 60's
and beyond. It became fashionable to be rather scornful of such
belief and some skeptics viewed guardian angels as only a slight step
beyond the fairy godmothers of children's tales. Well, folks, it was
one time they weren't on the crest of a wave. The signs of the times
told them that emphatically when a ground swell of popularity arose
with angels as its focus.

To some, angels are less threatening as a concept than God. They are
more than human, but less than divine. They share our status of being
creatures, but they have powers beyond our ken. No wonder popular
culture embraced them: they are a very good entry level awareness of
something beyond, something spiritual. Whatever else they may be,
they are real. Why waste 'em? Let them help us all they can and let
us ask for more besides! There may be reservations among some of us
about praying to saints, but Scripture abounds with examples of
conversations with angels. Go for it!

Last year about this time, a confessor recommended that I pray to
my Guardian Angel about a problem. No one had said that to me in years! I
took his advice, however, and love the results. Growing tired of always just
calling on him by his generic name, I decided to give my guardian angel a name.
I call him Hal, short for the Hebrew "hallelujah", a word I'm sure he says quite
a lot. He seems happy enough with his new moniker! Thanks, Hal. I owe you a
big time!!

By the way, the Guardian Angels are the patrons of the American
Cassinese Congregation. I know some guys who probably would have
loved to change that during the "bad press" years. Thankfully, no one
did! Holy Guardian Angels, pray for us!

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
jeromeleo@...
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
Petersham, MA

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+PAX

Our Abbot Hugh of Pluscarden thanks all for their prayers for Fr. Maurus, who
has still not been found. He asks special prayers for today, Thursday and
Friday, as the police are bringing dogs trained to search for human remains to
comb the area. If they fail to find Father, there is nothing more they can do at
this time. It would mean so much to the community to have his remains to bury
properly. Prayers, too, for Br. Mungo of Pluscarden, who had a hip replacement
and faces a long recovery. Br. Mungo, quite elderly, has the most beautifully
kind blue eyes and a Christ-like face and smile to match. He is one of my
fondest memories of Pluscarden.

Prayers, too, for Kevin, sent to Iraq with his Special Forces unit, and for
Linda, his Mom, Ronnie, his great aunt, and all his family. May God protect all
in harm's way in war. Prayers for David and his diaconate program studies.
Prayers for Carolyn, her husband, another Kevin, daughter Mary Catherine, and
all her family. Carolyn was killed in a freak accident, struck in the chest by
something thrown from an overpass on the highway. Mercifully, she and Mary
Catherine were driving back from Mass and both has just received Communion.
Lord, help them as You know and will. God's will is best. All is mercy and
grace. God is never absent, praise Him Thanks so much.  JL

[An aside about receiving the Eucharist: Carolyn had no idea at all that
Communion on that day was her last, her Viaticum. Minutes later, she was dead.
That could be true of any of us. We may never know which of our Communions is
our Viaticum, so we ought to always receive them as if they were going to be our
last. Tall order, I know, but a great idea... How many of us have seen the
sadness in that last security video of Princess Diana getting into her
limousine. She had no idea at all that she had only minutes to live. Vigilance
and mindfulness are the answers- always be "packed" for the journey which might
take us by surprise.]

January 31, June 1, October 1
Chapter 7: On Humility

The third degree of humility is that a person
for love of God
submit himself to his Superior in all obedience,
imitating the Lord, of whom the Apostle says,
"He became obedient even unto death."

REFLECTION

Looks a little repetitious here, doesn't it? Almost like St. Benedict
was scraping the bottom of the barrel to find something to use for a
third step, so he'd still wind up with twelve. Not so.

This short passage tempts one to a short reading and that casual
perusal will miss the terribly important things here. These are the
important elements that frame and sustain our obedience: it is done
for love of God, it is submission to another and it is lifelong.
Remove any one of those mainstays and you no longer have a
Benedictine.

It is nothing to persevere to the end without love. Nothing. It is
nothing to obey without love, Eichmann did that quite admirably. Nor
does it avail us anything at all to be obedient to ourselves: big
challenge there! We'd wind up Sarabaites for sure, worshipping
nothing but the idol of our own wills.

This third degree gives the reason for Benedictine obedience: "for
the love of God." We do not obey for so little as an orderly community,
our obedience is not mere sociology, it is love. More even than just
love, it is love of the One Who is Love at its highest perfection.

We obey Love's delegates, our superiors, unto death. There are two
meanings hidden in that phrase. It can mean martyrdom, obeying even
to the point of being killed, but it also means obeying all of our lives,
till the moment of our deaths. Frankly, few of us will be martyrs, because
few of us are worthy of that grace. ALL of us, however, are called to the
lifelong white martyrdom of obedience, which can often remind us that
St. Teresa of Avila said that the martyrs "bought heaven cheaply", that
they gained in one instant what the rest of us must plod on for many
decades in a lifelong struggle to gain.

Like Christ, for love, we become "obedient even unto death." During
the Spanish Civil War, in the 30's, Communist forces raided the
Benedictine monastery of El Pueyo, taking its 18 monks prisoner. One
of the very significant things about this group is that many were
just average monks, nothing special. All of them were martyred and
one witness said that they went to their death "joyfully, as if going
to a fiesta." These martyrs were members of our Subiaco Congregation
and we are justifiably proud to have them as our brothers.

Benedictine obedience of love, even unto death is decidedly not the
kind that would please earthly tyrants. In fact, they'd gladly kill
us for it. There is quite a likeness to our crucified Lord if we
embrace that peril fully.

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
jeromeleo@...
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
Petersham, MA

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+PAX

Prayers, please, for the search for Father Maurus' body, continuing today and
tomorrow. Prayers, too, for Pluscarden's Father Giles, leaving today for our
monastery in Ghana, and for Pluscarden's new acting Prior, Br. Meinrad, acting
Subprior, Fr. Benedict, and acting Cellarer, Br. Michael, as well as for Br.
Cyprian, going to Japan for a month's stay in a Zen monastery as part of an
inter-religious dialogue. Prayers, too, for Abbot Hugh and all the Community
there. Fr. Maurus' disappearance has been so hard on everyone, and now there are
so many other changes to adjust to in their daily life. I have deep faith in
them, but prayer strengthens even the strong!

Prayers, too, for Chris, a young man bravely and holily preparing for death from
gall bladder cancer. He is truly edifying those around him, but we all need
prayer to protect us at that time when we are most likely to be assailed by the
tempter in a last ditch effort. Prayers for all his loved ones, too. Prayers for
Catherine, facing an MRI for some troubling and frightening neurological
symptoms, for peace in her heart and the grace to give all anxiety to God. For
Mary F., unemployed for over a month now and getting into real financial
straits. Lord, help them as You know and will. God's will is best. All is mercy
and grace. God is never absent, praise Him!  Thanks so much. JL

February 1, June 2, October 2
Chapter 7: On Humility

The fourth degree of humility
is that he hold fast to patience with a silent mind
when in this obedience he meets with difficulties
and contradictions
and even any kind of injustice,
enduring all without growing weary or running away.
For the Scripture says,
"The one who perseveres to the end,
is the one who shall be saved" (Matt. 10:22);
and again
"Let your heart take courage, and wait for the Lord" (Ps. 26:14)!


And to show how those who are faithful
ought to endure all things, however contrary, for the Lord,
the Scripture says in the person of the suffering,
"For Your sake we are put to death all the day long;
we are considered as sheep marked for slaughter" (Ps. 43:22; Rom.
8:36).
Then, secure in their hope of a divine recompense,
they go on with joy to declare,
"But in all these trials we conquer,
through Him who has granted us His love" (Rom. 8:37).
Again, in another place the Scripture says,
"You have tested us, O God;
You have tried us a silver is tried, by fire;
You have brought us into a snare;
You have laid afflictions on our back" (Matt. 5:39-41).
And to show that we ought to be under a Superior,
it goes on to say,
"You have set men over our heads" (Ps. 65:12).


Moreover, by their patience
those faithful ones fulfill the Lord's command
in adversities and injuries:
when struck on one cheek, they offer the other;
when deprived of their tunic, they surrender also their cloak;
when forced to go a mile, they go two;
with the Apostle Paul they bear with false brethren (2 Cor. 11:26)
and bless those who curse them (1 Cor. 4:12).

REFLECTION

[It is well worth noting that Father Maurus, for whom we have been praying, felt
that this fourth step
of humility was a tremendously important summary of the monastic struggle.]

Be careful how you read this fourth step of patience. It is an ideal,
presented in its most flawless form. It is not an unreachable goal, but neither
should we expect significant progress before noon today. It is our call and
our vocation, but it is a lifelong task.

The danger for schleps like me is that this step can give one an image
of a perfect, 1950's TV sitcom Mom: shirt dress, high heels and pearls as
everyday wear, cookies and  milk always forthcoming in a kitchen as clean
as a surgical suite and  never a hair out of place. Full make-up on rising
and wears hat and  matching gloves to shop. PUHLEEEZE! Give me a break.
Real patience  in action is not at all like that.

Patience in action is a fierce struggle. Never think that it's easy for
others and therefore something is wrong with you: it isn't easy
for anyone. One of the biggest flaws of the "I'm OK and you are
not..." school of ministry is that it makes people think exactly
this. "It's easy for her and there's something terribly wrong with
me." Neither is true.

Please drop that TV image of perfect models, who flit from flower to
flower in life beamingly, fraught with about as much stress as a
butterfly in a climate-controlled greenhouse in full bloom. That
image will harm you. The Holy Rule and Scripture were not
written for such brainless, clueless potted plants. They were written
for strays and plodders like ourselves.

The Rule and Scriptures were meant for strugglers. They were written
for real, average people, halt and lame, battle-scarred veterans like
you and me, for people who have weathered life, but barely. Honey,
there may be cookies and milk, but you'll probably have to get the
plate yourself and brush aside a LOT of blood, sweat and tears to
find one. Oh, and please drink the milk fast and take as much as you
can... the fridge broke today.

Patience is surely one of the most important fuels that perseverance
runs on, but don't be surprised if it often is not very high octane!
Neither should it surprise you if your engine is not a slant V-8, but
rather a very cheap lawnmower that has trouble starting. Patience
is ENDURANCE, not ease. It may, after years of struggle, confer a
great peace and serenity, but it rarely, if ever, feels like that in
the middle of things.

Brother Patrick Creamer, OSB, of Saint Leo Abbey in Florida, taught
me patience and perseverance. He was able to do so because he was so
transparent about his own struggles. Many others tried to tell me how
hard it was, but their lack of candor made me dismiss their warnings
as tokenism. It certainly didn't seem to be hard for them. I couldn't
believe them. Patrick, my late and beloved mentor, was so very different.

Patrick entered the monastery in 1954, when he was 40, after a long
career at sea. He missed being at sea so much (and for so long!) that
it magnified many of the every day crosses of monastic life. Abbot
Marion, who loved brothers and had a very tender spot for them, used
to send Patrick to the beach for a weekend now and then, in years
when that sort of thing didn't often happen. +Marion was wise enough
to know he'd lose Patrick if he didn't get a salt air fix now and
then.

Even the beach trips were not enough alone. Patrick told me he was
tempted to leave every single day for ten years. Patrick, when I
lived with him, literally stayed packed with a hidden suitcase for
years and boasted of his ability to be gone in an hour. As a novice,
my heart used to be selfishly in my throat. I wanted him to go, if
that was what he was supposed to do, but I really didn't want to lose
him.

I am breaking no confidence if I also tell you that, during the worst
of those years, Patrick joined AA and remained faithfully sober for
decades, helping scores of alcoholics who came to him, because a
transparent broken person usually can. I can also tell you that
Brother Patrick finally decided to stay: when he was 83 or so!! What a
witness of hope that was to me, to others struggling like me.

Please, let us all be given patience. But when we get it, however
little at a time, let NONE of us be TV Moms. Let us all be Patricks,
let us show others how terribly hard, yet doable it can be.

Patrick held forth from his infirmary room until his death last year,
at two weeks short of 90. A steady stream of visitors never  waned.
On the head of his bed and on the shaving mirror over his sink were
two small notes, written in his own inimitable hand: "Lord, let me
come to You." They broke my heart the first time I saw them. I still
didn't want to lose him. But I know how right he was and how richly he
deserves that loving embrace for which he so patiently waited.

Love and prayers,
Jerome LEO, OSB (again and again you'll see why I took the second
name!)
jeromeleo@... St. Mary's Monastery
Petersham, MA

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+PAX

A blessed Solemnity of the Sacred heart to all who are celebrating that today.
Prayers, please, for Sr. Lany Jo, ASCJ, and all the Apostles of the Sacred
Heart, as well as for all religious congregations dedicated to Jesus' Sacred
Heart.

Prayers, please, for James, a teacher beset by the brutality of his public
school, seeking to find a job in a Catholic school. Prayers, too, for Harry and
a Scotland-wide vocations drive- may some of them come to our Motherhouse,
Pluscarden! Ardent prayers for this, the last day of the search for Fr. Maurus'
body. Prayers for Shirley, in terrible pain from her knee injury that is keeping
her awake and meds seem not to help. Prayers for Catherine, awaiting results
from her MRI, and for David, and all whom the evil one pesters when they pursue
their vocation! Let God arise and may His enemies be scattered, and may those
who hate Him flee before His Face! Prayers for Mary, extensive and tryingly long
day of testing for retinitis pigmentosa today.

Prayers of thanks to God, without Him, I would never be able to offer you
anything at all, and for my parents, Louise and Jerry, and all my ancestors.
Without that divinely fine-tuned chain of folks I would not be here today to
celebrate my 56th. Prayers, too, for my "birthday twin," Sr. Rita Marie, ASCJ,
same day but not as old! May God see fit to use us both now and then in yet
another year. Lord, help them as You know and will. God's will is best. All is
mercy and grace. God is never absent, praise Him! Thanks so much. JL

February 2, June 3, October 3
Chapter 7: On Humility

The fifth degree of humility
is that he hide from his Abbot none of the evil thoughts
that enter his heart
or the sins committed in secret,
but that he humbly confess them.
The Scripture urges us to this when it says,
"Reveal your way to the Lord and hope in Him" (Ps. 36:5)
and again,
"Confess to the Lord, for He is good,
for His mercy endures forever" (Ps. 105:1).
And the Prophet likewise says,
"My offense I have made known to You,
and my iniquities I have not covered up.
I said: 'I will declare against myself my iniquities to the Lord;'
and 'You forgave the wickedness of my heart'" (Ps. 31:5).

REFLECTION

A caution here: the Holy Rule uses the Septuagint version's numbering
of the Psalms, not the Hebrew. Since most Bibles today use the latter
system, even many Catholic editions, you might find that the Psalm
referred to in this passage, which I strongly recommend you read
through, is 32, not 31.

Psalm 31 (32) is a wonderful exposition of sin and forgiveness. It
begins by recounting the joy of one whose sin has been forgiven, then
proceeds to unfold how concealing sin affects one and confessing sin
heals one. In vv. 3-4, immediately prior to the 5th verse which St.
Benedict quotes, we find the following: "I kept it secret and my
frame was wasted. I groaned all the day long for night and day Your
hand was heavy upon me. Indeed, my strength was dried up as by the
summer's heat."

How do we know- or think we know- when a person is hiding something?
There are all kinds of human, natural signs, verbal and nonverbal
messages, body language, the whole lot! This is far afield of
theology. We're talking crime novels here! There is something rooted
in our human nature that makes guilty concealment affect both our
behavior and others' perceptions.

Guilty secrets control us, they rob us of our freedom, they destroy
our peace. Long before one's frame is wasted (though that, too will
eventually happen,) one's mind and spirit are trashed, laid low by
the relentless fear of discovery. It's very true that one can run,
but not hide. It is also true that, without the peace such shameful
hiding steals from us, we shall have a MUCH harder time with our spiritual
life.

What the guilty one is fleeing is within herself, and
travels right along with her. Ever see a news clip about a fugitive
who successfully hid for decades and then was caught? I wonder what
kind of life they had in the meantime, a life never free, a life that
always had to fear. This garbage is not what Jesus called us to.

We cannot be Benedictines without serenity and peace. It will not
happen. The tracks of our lives have a reasonable number of railway
switches that must be set correctly, or we will wind up stalled on a
siding. This confession is one of those switches.

[And, by the way, "stalled on a siding" is the opposite of stability.
Stability is great growth and moving forward in a fixed spot or vocation!]

One may not belong to a tradition which practices sacramental
confession, but all of us need the abscesses of our secret guilt
lanced and drained somehow. AA, a spiritual program which can fit
itself to any religion or no religion, insists that without confession to at
least one other trustworthy person, our faults are likely to rule us forever.
Don't spill your beans to just anyone, but don't hold them festering
within, either! [A heavy PS, too: if you DO belong to a Church that
has sacramental Confession, GO!! Too many put that off at great
risk and harm to themselves.]

What keeps us chained to our dirty secrets is lack of faith, lack of
trust: no one will love me if they know this, not God, not anyone.
Well, the ending verses of Psalm 31(32) deal quite neatly with this
falsehood:

"Many sorrows have the wicked, but those who trust in the Lord,
loving mercy surrounds them. Rejoice, rejoice in the Lord, exult, you
just! O come, ring out your joy, all you upright of heart!" (Ps.
31:10-11)

Not only does God forgive, but the guilty one now freed is accounted
as among the just and the upright of heart, without any further ado.
Now THAT is divine mercy! No heart is more full of such infinite
mercy than the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Trust Him!

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place my trust in You. Jesus, meek and
humble of Heart, make our hearts like unto Yours.

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
jeromeleo@...
Petersham, MA

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+PAX

Prayers, please, for a remarkable fellow who has returned to the Church after
many years. News of his Confession yesterday was an awesome joy!!! For his
continued close walk with the Lord! Prayers, please, for Sister Clare (not our
Sr. Mary Clare at Petersham,) who is failing mentally with age, also for Brad,
second brain tumor has developed on his brain stem, after an earlier one was
removed, prayers for a young boy murdered by his father's girlfriend, and for
all his family. Fr. Francis Schoering, for whom we prayed, has gone to God,
eternal rest to him and grace's serenity to all who mourn him. Prayers for
Dottie, having a heart device implanted on June 9, and for Don, surgery Tuesday
for cataract and glaucoma, vision still not cleared, so pray on!
The brave young man preparing for such a holy death, Chris, has gone to God. Deo
gratias! May he have eternal rest and prayers for all his family and friends.
Lord, help them as You know and will. God's will is best. All is mercy and
grace. God is never absent, praise Him. Thanks so much. And special thanks for
all those birthday greetings and prayers! JL

February 3, June 4, October 4
Chapter 7: On Humility

The sixth degree of humility
is that a monk be content
with the poorest and worst of everything,
and that in every occupation assigned him
he consider himself a bad and worthless workman,
saying with the Prophet,
"I am brought to nothing and I am without understanding;
I have become as a beast of burden before You,
and I am always with You" (Ps:22-23).

REFLECTION

OK, first warning. Some people who truly do have low self-esteem have
to be very, very careful to remember that humility is truth, that ANY false
and distorted self-image spells trouble. Increasing closeness to God, Who
is Truth, must bring us to increasing truthfulness about ourselves. That can
mean adjustments up OR down in our attitude.

While it may be true that some people have self-esteems
which are far too low, I think that most people, from my generation onward,
have "worked through all that" with more than enough success. Relax,
I think that often we have compensated for any imbalance and then some! With
ears attuned to such 21st century self-affirmation, it is hard for us to hear
lines like "worthless workman", "brought to nothing" and "a beast of
burden before You."

Understandably, we may listen through our filtered ears and wonder
how on earth the Psalmist could say such things. Mechanisms to
explain them away and denial defenses spring right up: " Must have
been his primitive society, must have been some neurotic notion of
religion in those days! Boy, that David REALLY needed to work on his
self-image, so sad in a King, too!"

I don't think any of those things are true in more than the most
minimal sense, if that. David COULD say those things with honesty,
because he was a mystic. Let me hasten to console all concerned with
that news that he was a very human mystic. Face it, he had the hots
for Uriah's wife and conveniently arranged Uriah's death in battle
to "legitimate" things. Nathan the prophet confronted David with the facts
and the child born of his dalliance with Bathsheba died. Hardly the type
of thing one would read about St. Therese, the Little Flower!

Because this terribly human David, in a mystical sense, had "seen"
God, at least with the eyes of his soul, he could easily make
truthful remarks like these about himself! Once we see even a bit of
God, scales fall from our eyes and we can easily see how the Prophet
could say such things: they are true!

I am no mystic, but I sure know I am nothing, nothing at ALL compared
to God. If I have done a good job here and there, make no mistake
that I can tell you from an inside perspective that successes were
just that: here and there. Not one of them would (or could!) have ever
happened without God's grace. Nada. Zilch! The total workman profile
has a LOT of gaps and stuff undone, deliberately and otherwise. The merit
review will probably NOT recommend a raise at this time!

We need the truth of humility because we take ourselves- and the
falsehoods about ourselves for good or ill- far, far too seriously. Yes, we
sometimes need to know we really did "OK", but we also need to often
remind ourselves that we are not so hot as we thought!

"Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your Name give the glory!" Yet another of
David's pithy assessments of self-worth. We are, of ourselves, less than carbon.
It is only because of Christ that we carbon kids can truly become the "immortal
diamond" of which Hopkins wrote!

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
jeromeleo@...
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
Petersham, MA

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

Sunday bumps the Feast of St. Boniface, OSB, Apostle of Germany, today, but
happy feastday anyway! For MANY of us in the US, if there had been no German
Church, our Abbeys and Priories would never have been founded. Hence, we owe
this Anglo-Saxon Benedictine martyr big-time, as well as St. Lioba, and the many
nuns and monks who came to help him. Deo gratias!!!

Prayers, please, for Father Basil Pennington, OCSO, noted author and former
Abbot of  Holy Spirit Abbey, Conyers, GA, who died on Friday, during Second
Vespers of the Sacred Heart, from injuries he received a while ago in an auto
accident. We had prayed for him at least once, and I should have put him on
again later, too. But God is outside of time, may He grant him eternal rest!

Prayers, too, for a tragic family: an alcoholic father killed his wife and their
two children, then remained in the house with their bodies for 2-3 days. Police
found him there. What a heart-breaker! Many prayers for ALL, including the
father. He probably needs prayers most and many are most likely praying only for
the victims and contemptuous of the father. We ought to always remember this:
those who commit such horrible acts, whom people are inclined to loathe or
blame, are often cut out of many needed prayers. Remember this particularly when
watching or reading the news, when some dastardly deed is reported. It is our
job to love the unlovable in prayer, it is our job to love everyone, because God
surely does. We are called to be as much like Him as grace and our cooperation
with it can make us. Lord, help them as You know and will. God's will is best.
All is mercy and grace. God is never absent, praise Him! Thanks so much.  JL

February 4, June 5, October 5
Chapter 7: On Humility

The seventh degree of humility
is that he consider himself lower and of less account
than anyone else,
and this not only in verbal protestation
but also with the most heartfelt inner conviction,
humbling himself and saying with the Prophet,
"But I am a worm and no man,
the scorn of men and the outcast of the people" (Ps. 21:7).
"After being exalted, I have been humbled
and covered with confusion" (Pa. 87:16).
And again,
"It is good for me that You have humbled me,
that I may learn Your commandments" (Ps. 118:71).

REFLECTION

So many people get blown away arguing against the line: "I am a worm
and no man..." that they completely miss a crucially important fact.
Very ancient interpretation of this Psalm has the Suffering Servant,
Jesus, as its focus. Jesus Himself quoted its opening line from the
Cross: "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" There are numerous
allusions to the crucifixion in this Psalm, casting lots for
garments, piercing hands and feet and the derision of the crowd, to
name a few.

OK, so if we dare to put these wormy terms in the mouth of Christ,
how come we get upset about saying the same of ourselves? Good
question! If HE can say it, even metaphorically, we surely should
have no problem!

But many seem to have a big problem there, so let's look at the
matter from a different angle. We absolutely CANNOT know that others
are worse than us. It's not possible, because we cannot see into
their hearts, we cannot know every factor in their guilt or lack
thereof. We cannot know that they are NOT better than us. God, and
God alone can know all those things. Even the individual involved
knows less about her complicity and culpability in a given action
than God does. That knowledge is always and everywhere partially
withheld from human consciousness. No one will ever know it all until
they die, when everything that was hidden will be made evident.

OK, one argues, so if we can't know anyone is worse, we sure can't
know if they're better, either. Quite right! Our God-given natural
assessment abilities allow us to be sure of no one's wickedness or
goodness, not even our own state of grace. BUT we have more facility
in self-judgement than we have in regard to others. We have more
parts of the puzzle there, even though we still don't have them all,
we have windows into our own hearts and minds that we have in no
other case.

So, with all this ironclad uncertainty, why would Scripture and the
Holy Rule ask us to think ourselves less than anyone else? For two
very important reasons. First, it is the safest position to take.
Even without full knowledge of ourselves, we have more information
there than we have anywhere else. Secondly, it is the most profitable
position for learning and spiritual growth.

If we think someone is less than ourselves, there is little chance we
will learn anything from her: we're so busy with patronizing
condescension that only now and then will the woman's REAL words come
through to us. On the other hand, if we think everyone has something
to teach us, knowledge and growth start popping up all over the
place, in some very unlikely locations! This attitude is part of
listening, really listening.

And after all, "Listen" is where our Rule begins!

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
jeromeleo@...
Petersham, MA

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

Perhaps not nearly often enough, I am aware that one or another facet of
Catholic faith might be unfamiliar to many of our readers. I apologize for not
being better about explaining same, but Friday's feast of the Sacred Heart was
one time it really occurred to me that something was in order. A word or two of
my own, then this EXCELLENT and concise paragraph about why we have such a feast
by Pope Benedict XVI.

Jesus is God. All of His humanity is sacred and worthy or worship, but when we
worship His Heart, we are worshipping His love for us, of which that burning
Heart is an apt and wonderful symbol. It is as the Fount of His Love and
infinite Divine Mercy that we worship His Heart.

Love and prayers,

Jerome,OSB

On the Sacred Heart
"We Adore God's Love of Humanity"

Dear Brothers and Sisters!

Last Friday we celebrated the solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus,
devotion profoundly rooted in the Christian people. In biblical language,
"heart" indicates a person's center, seat of his feelings and intentions. In the
heart of the Redeemer we adore God's love of humanity, his will of universal
salvation, his infinite mercy. Worship of the Sacred Heart of Christ means,
therefore, worship of that heart which, after having loved us to the end, was
pierced by the spear, and from the cross on high, shed blood and water,
inexhaustible source of new life.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

Prayers, please, for the soul of Dom Gregory van der Kleij, OSB, Prior of the
Olivetan Monastery of Christ Our Saviour, Turvey, England, who died last
Saturday. May he rest in peace!

Prayers for Fr. Hugo and his family, traveling to Argentina to see his Mother,
Paulina, who has breast cancer and is having surgery and his brother, going
blind as a side effect from chemotherapy, prayers, too, for Fr. Volodymyr and
his family, who is replacing Fr. Hugo while he is away. Deo gratias that Fr.
Basil has returned to Tucson, thus lightening the load on Fr. Hugo's parish
duties. Prayers for Sharon's granddaughter, having surgery this Friday. Lord,
help them as You know and will. God's will is best. All is mercy and grace. God
is never absent, praise Him! Thanks so much.  JL

February 5, June 6, October 6
Chapter 7: On Humility

The eighth degree of humility
is that a monk do nothing except what is commended
by the common Rule of the monastery
and the example of the elders.

REFLECTION

Well, this one looks deceptively simple enough. Just try it! I speak
as one who has frequently failed it and who sometimes* fails it
still. [* I only fail it on special occasions: Sunday, Monday,
Tuesday, Wednesday.... you get the picture.] This step of humility,
by the way, will translate very easily into family life, the
neighborhood, or the workplace.

The goal here is not just external uniformity so much as internal
detachment. We are deeply attached to the things we do. Demanding to
do things our own way is not humble. When observers come to the
monastery, as vocations for the monks or the nuns, I often see little quirks of
external piety in church and think: "Well, that'll have to go..."

One cannot profitably go through monastic formation cherishing the
notion that one has got it right and one's elders have it wrong. You
may even be right, or the matter may be completely neutral. (The
term "optional" comes to mind, but that was NOT used to express
neutrality!) That's not the issue here. Detachment and humility are.

When we singularize ourselves without real moral imperative, the
message given to the whole community is "I know better." That this is
not warmly received in a junior or newcomer should come as no
surprise. A monastic family is like any spouse: you had better not
marry what you hope to change them into, but only what they ARE. If
we fail this, we change "Thy will be done" into "MY will be done!"
and we do so with sorry results.

No spouse is perfect, neither is any family, monastery or job, but if
you expect to change them right off the bat, you're doomed to woe. In
monastery and marriage and workplace, the only person you can REALLY
change is yourself and the sooner you get around to doing that, the
better for all concerned.

The sad thing (and I am guilty here!) is that sometimes these things
we do on our own have nothing to do with piety at all. They are,
pure and simple, revolt, passive aggression, small, though very
public ways of expressing our scorn for this or that concept or
person. Having lived in the Church of the 60's and 70's, I picked up
the idea of refusal as a kind of non-violent demonstration.

I also must say that, in those less-than-halcyon days, I picked it up
from my monastic seniors, just not always the best seniors! I still
do it at times, and I still wrestle with paring those times down day
by day. The hardest humility and obedience are to things we truly
think are dumb and do not matter. The difficulty alone must mean
there is great potential for growth there. The stubborn attachment to
our own will absolutely guarantees such potential!

An interesting aside here. The dissenter often thinks she is a grand
and eloquent witness for justice and truth. The stubborn monk thinks
he has scored a real victory for integrity and correctness. In fact,
those who live with them often think they're just pathetic fools. Of the
two impressions, this last is closer to truth!

It is also interesting to note (again, from sorry personal experience,)
that the rebel often looks at other rebels (with whom he does not agree,
so they are, of course, WRONG...) as silly fools. Wow! If one can be so right
about those other rebels, how come the other monastics aren't right about
oneself?? Hmmmm....

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
jeromeleo@...
Petersham, MA

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Here is part of the news about Michael Ross one doesn't ordinarily hear.  JL

Jun 5, 2005 9:10 am US/Eastern
1010 WINS (Redding, CT) A funeral liturgy attended by about 30 people, including
the retired bishop of Norwich, was held for serial killer Michael Ross on
Saturday, his spiritual adviser said.

Ross, who celebrated his oblation as a Benedictine oblate on death row shortly
before his first, and aborted, scheduled execution in January, will be buried at
``an undisclosed time and place,'' said Father John Giuliani of the Benedictine
Grange in Redding.

``He wanted it to be not so much secret, but private,'' he said.

Ross, 45, was executed May 13. He had sought death since October despite having
years of appeals available to him. The Cornell University graduate and former
insurance agent admitted killing eight women in Connecticut and New York during
the early 1980s.

The liturgy was attended by members of the Benedictine Grange community, several
friends Ross made through his writings and the Most Rev. Daniel Hart, the
retired bishop of Norwich, Giuliani said Saturday.

``People were influenced by his persuasive writings against capital
punishment,'' Giuliani said, referring to Ross.

A death penalty opponent, Ross wrote extensively about how believed he should
not have been executed because of his mental illness. But late last year, he
fired his public defenders and announced he wanted to forgo any further appeals
and move ahead with the execution.

As an oblate, a lay affiliate of the Roman Catholic Order of St. Benedict, Ross
chose the name Brother Dismas, Giuliani said. St. Dismas was one of two men
crucified alongside Jesus, and he rebuked the other who challenged Jesus to save
them.

Giuliani, who knew Ross for more than seven years, has said he watched him
become a devoted Catholic. Ross became devout since his arrest in 1984, meeting
regularly over the years with two priests and praying the rosary each morning.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

Prayers, please, for Kaye, for whom we prayed for nodules in her neck, she is
scheduled for thyroid removal on June 20, also for her husband, who had a
gangrenous appendix removed Thursday. For Bill, doing very poorly after a heart
attack, and for his nephew, Felix and all Bill's family. Prayers for Bp. Basil,
who has lost or misplaced some badly needed cash. Prayers, please, for the
return to the Faith, for Ronnie, Fred, Liz and Louis. Lord, help them as You
know and will. God's will is best. All is mercy and grace. God is never absent,
praise Him! Thanks so much!
JL

February 6, June 7, October 7
Chapter 7: On Humility

The ninth degree of humility
is that a monk restrain his tongue and keep silence,
not speaking until he is questioned.
For the Scripture shows
that "in much speaking there is no escape from sin" (Prov. 10:19)
and that "the talkative man is not stable on the earth" (Ps. 139:12).

REFLECTION

OK, if you are a parent, you cannot speak to your children only when
they question you. The therapy bills in later years would be
astronomical. There are many situations in a Benedictine life lived
in the world, among non-monastics, where this has to be altered, but
its kernel of truth must be discovered and maintained.

WHY do we talk needlessly? Quite often it is nothing more than a
trick to change the reality around us. We are bored, or we feel we
are not getting enough attention or we think the mood too heavy, so
we speak to change whatever annoys us at the moment. I should know.
I am infamous for creating my own entertainment when things seem
dull to me. That's not always a great idea...

Some tough moments, some difficult stuff are meant to be endured.
They are part of our necessary learning and growth. Ever notice how
we assess a child's maturity by its ability to be quiet and non-
fidgety in surroundings (like Church!) that do not spoon feed its
attention span? Well, the same is true of us at every stage. We do
ourselves harm if we defuse every single tense moment with a word or
two. We cheat ourselves.

All too often we speak only to remind the universe around us, which
has carelessly forgotten for a second that we are its center, of a
whole bevy of falsehoods: I am the cutest, smartest, or wittiest, I
have the solution to all of this. What folly on the part of the
entire cosmos to forget our importance! Better speak to clear the
matter up...

Those who know me are thinking: "HE wrote THIS?!?" Yes, alas, I am
guilty of all I wrote. Three times a year the Holy Rule reminds me of
that and each time I am aware that I need to work on it. Thanks be to
God, the Rule IS read three times a year: usually by the time the
next reading comes up, my interest has flagged and I have to start
over. As for the part about the talkative not being "stable on the
earth," well, there have been plenty of times in the last eight years
when God had to nail my feet to the floor to keep me here and I am
not dead yet... I have not always been His most willing pupil, but
oh, is He ever patient! And infinitely merciful!

But, as one Desert Father said, that's what we do all day in
monasteries: "We fall down and we get up."

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
jeromeleo@...
Petersham, MA

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

Prayers, please, for Abbot Paul, of Zevenkerken, Belgium, now being cared for at
home by his Community, and for Celine, in her 30's, mother of two young
daughters, she fell ill suddenly and is unconscious in ICU with either a brain
tumor or a brain hemorrhage. Prayers, too, for Steve, 51, who went to God Sunday
morning, for his happy death and eternal rest and for all his family and firends
who mourn him. Prayers for Kevin, a soldier in Iraq, and for all in harm's way
there. Lord, help them as You know and will. God's will is best. All is mercy
and grace. God is never absent, praise Him!  Thanks so much. JL

February 7, June 8, October 8
Chapter 7: On Humility

The tenth degree of humility
is that he be not ready and quick to laugh,
for it is written,
"The fool lifts up his voice in laughter" (Eccles. 21:23).

REFLECTION

Note that the Holy Rule does NOT say not to laugh at all, but just
not to laugh too fast! In another place, the Rule condemns "idle words"
which can "provoke buffoonery" (read immoderate laughter!) We are
not, however, forbidden to laugh at all. Life together will always produce
some truly comical stuff, and well-ordered appreciation of that gift of
humor is right in line with a good, balanced Benedictine life.

WHAT do we laugh at, and how? Do we find humor at others' expense cruelly?
Do we laugh in such a way as to make the person feel a fool, or in such a way
as to make her feel part of a shared family joke and joy? Do we laugh with
love and affection or with pompous derision? There are, make no mistake,
lots of good and bad ways to laugh.

Ever know someone who laughs too fast, too often, and at things that no one
else finds funny? Sometimes we laugh along, in kindness and charity, just to
keep such a one from feeling as out of place as they well might. Pejoratively,
we might say such people were kooks, but honestly, what we really feel is that
they lack depth or maturity or both.

Christians, all Christians, even Benedictines, are commanded to
rejoice. There is a Christian imperative to joy, even in the midst of
the sufferings promised us in this life. Picture joy without one
single moment of throw-your-head-back-in-glorious-laughter. My! What
a tasteful, discreet and bloodless little party animal that would be!
What a great, lifeless remove from the abandon of genuine joy, what a
total lie!

I have never known a Benedictine so bad as to never laugh at all, and
I have known more than a few who seemed to be, to all appearances,
dreadful enough. Granted, some of the holiest ones chuckled softly a
good deal more than they roared in laughter, but ALL of them laughed!
Even those holiest ones, who tended to occasionally just chuckle,
smiled a LOT and warmly!

There are, in every age, inappropriate uses of humor. Humor is often
a nervous cover-up, an avoidance, a substitute for real
communication. I think these examples are what the Holy Rule
addresses. We are called to relate to people on a more honest level
than perpetual joking about. That playfulness may be an antechamber
to intimacy, but it is no substitute. All loving friends share jokes,
but if jokes are ALL they share, they are, as yet, neither truly
loving nor friends. It takes something more than that humor alone.

It is because humor, jokes and shared laughter can be that first step
towards intimacy that they are so very necessary for a cenobitic,
community-loving Benedictine heart. Then, of course, there is also
that Christian imperative to JOY!

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
jeromeleo@...
Petersham, MA

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

Prayers, please, for Sr. Mary Boniface, of our Nuns' dependent house in Tickfaw,
Louisiana, who died yesterday, full of years and surrounded by her praying
Community. Deo gratias for a good monastic end and prayers for her eternal rest.

Thanks for your prayers for Michelle. She has died; prayers, please, for her
eternal rest and for her husband and children as they mourn her. Deo gratias!
Catherine had a good result on her first MRI and now awaits a second one on her
brain stem, continued prayers, please. Prayers for Carol, a stubborn throat
infection has affected her voice and she is a pastor who has to preach- in
season and out of season, as the saying goes. She is also leading a group to
Mexico, where she will have to interpret in addition to her other vocal duties,
so prayers that she is able to do God's will. Prayers for Shirley, terrible knee
pain and for the strength to offer her pain as prayer for others. Prayers for a
couple trying to adopt, awaiting one more obstacle's removal. Prayers for Linda,
a bit homesick in a new home in another state, kids grown and her husband must
travel a good bit with his job. Lord, help them as You know and will. God's will
is best. All is mercy and grace. God is never absent, praise Him!  Thanks so
much. JL

[When I re-read reflection this from last year, I almost didn't run it again. I
thought there was a lot of anger and self in it. I thought maybe I'd edit it a
bit. Then, I decided not to do that at all. Here is an excellent example of
Jerome being the very kind of cranky monastic flop he often writes about: peeved
and miffed that the world has briefly forgotten it revolves around him. I offer
it as a counterweight to MUCH of the undeserved praise I receive. I am no less a
plodder than anyone, in fact, I am more so! There is a kernel of truth in this
reflection, but it gets buried under a LOT of Jerome. Sigh....]

February 8, June 9, October 9
Chapter 7: On Humility

The eleventh degree of humility
is that when a monk speaks
he do so gently and without laughter,
humbly and seriously,
in few and sensible words,
and that he be not noisy in his speech.
It is written,
"A wise man is known by the fewness of his words"(Sextus,
Enchidirion, 134 or 145).

REFLECTION

OK, writing as one who is 40% deaf, let me try to throw some light on
what this step is NOT. Remember that Benedictines espouse balance and
that balance should avoid both falsity and extremes. Benedictines are
also human and, without the help of good formation, or maybe even
with the encouragement of bad formation, they can fall prey to
affectation as easily as anyone else.

I have always been hard of hearing, so I have long noted a tendency
by some to interpret "not noisy" as barely audible. I hardly think
that's the case. Even talking on the phone to other OSB houses I
sometimes pick this up: the whispered inflections that one commonly
only hears in funeral parlors. Needless to say, that can set a very
funereal tone, whether it meant to or not!! Just as we should not
roar or yell when it is uncalled for, neither should we tiptoe about
whispering when there is no need.

There's a further problem here. This whispering can be and often is
learned as a purely social grace, nothing more. In other words, it
can reflect a popular behavior that has nothing to do with holiness.
Just as it is easy to feign the symptoms of illness, it is easy to
feign those of holiness or humility, too, with little or no reference
at all to the condition of goodness that ought to be their root.
Affected behavior is not humility, because it is not true. No wonder
affectation can annoy others!

So, for the last of my soapbox today, we don't yell, but we don't
whisper, either, unless such adjusted speech is truly necessary.
(Who, after all, would whisper "Fire," or "Shark,"?) We seek the
Golden Mean of carefully weighed speech that others can hear.

For the worst possible example of OSB sotto voce, try listening to
one hopelessly addicted to such modulation do a reading at Mass.
This, of all things, points to its silliness. At the very time when
one truly OUGHT to be heard, a fake whisper robs the Liturgy of one
of its strongest aspects, the proclamation of the Word of God. Not
only the deaf lose out, everyone beyond a yard of so of the reader is
clueless.

Not what St. Benedict had in mind, folks! He made that
clear when he insisted that only those who can edify the hearers
should read, but we sometimes forget that.

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
jeromeleo@...
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
Petersham, MA

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

Prayers, please, for Susan, seeing a doctor to find out is she needs mitral
valve surgery, a pacemaker, or new meds, and for her Mom, too. Prayers, too, for
Freya, a small forehead skin lesion may need to be biopsied, her doctor referred
her to a specialist to find out. Prayers for Marlene, a stroke and heart attack
in the past year. Prayers for a wonderful, loving Pastor who is exploring
promising new ways to relate to the flock God has given, like all flocks,
sometimes a bit unruly. Prayers for all in the PanMass Challenge cycling event,
which raises money for cancer research. Courage and Deo gratias for them all!
Prayers for a parent agonizing over a daughter's decision to marry civilly, not
in Church, for enlightenment and the will of God. Lord, help them as You know
and will. God's will is best. ALl is mercy and grace. God is never absent,
praise Him!  Thanks so much.  JL

[This portion seems to beg for division into two parts, so I have done
that in the reflection.]

February 9, June 10, October 10
Chapter 7: On Humility

The twelfth degree of humility
is that a monk not only have humility in his heart
but also by his very appearance make it always manifest
to those who see him.
That is to say that whether he is at the Work of God,
in the oratory, in the monastery, in the garden, on the road,
in the fields or anywhere else,
and whether sitting, walking or standing,
he should always have his head bowed
and his eyes toward the ground.
Feeling the guilt of his sins at every moment,
he should consider himself already present at the dread Judgment
and constantly say in his heart
what the publican in the Gospel said
with his eyes fixed on the earth:
"Lord, I am a sinner and not worthy to lift up my eyes to heaven"
(Luke 18:13; Matt. 8:8);
and again with the Prophet:
"I am bowed down and humbled everywhere" (Ps. 37:7,9; 118:107).

REFLECTION

Alcoholics Anonymous jokes about what they call "Two-steppers," that
is, people who decide to jump right from Step 1, acknowledging their
problem, to Step 12, carrying the message to others, with nothing in
between! Wrong! Doesn't work that way...

Benedictines often see a similar mistake in novices and humility.
Bingo, they go right to the twelfth degree with nothing to build
their external humility on but the images of Hollywood. Such
individuals are usually well-intentioned enough, but one look at
their demeanor will tell one that there is probably a very badly worn
tape of "The Nun's Story" among the things they left at home!

(I'm not knocking the film, I loved it, too! But it WAS Hollywood and it
is not real life! Close runners-up of the same ilk would be "In This
House of Brede" and "The Song of Bernadette" and "Come to the
Stable." I loved them, too, so please don't be upset. The CLOSEST
of the lot to truth was still not right on the mark.)

Monastic life will do a lot of things but sorry, it will never make
you Audrey Hepburn, Jennifer Jones, Diana Rigg or Loretta Young!
People who learn that have a chance to stay, people who don't often
leave because no monastery fits the Hollywood model, though they
often keep looking for one that does!

Second Section of the Reading:

Having climbed all these steps of humility, therefore,
the monk will presently come to that perfect love of God
which casts out fear.
And all those precepts
which formerly he had not observed without fear,
he will now begin to keep by reason of that love,
without any effort,
as though naturally and by habit.
No longer will his motive be the fear of hell,
but rather the love of Christ,
good habit
and delight in the virtues
which the Lord will deign to show forth by the Holy Spirit
in His servant now cleansed from vice and sin.

This crucially important second part is why none of those Hollywood
roles quite make it AND why the first section is spared from
Jansenism. (Jansenism, you may recall, was a heresy which held that
we could NEVER be worthy, NEVER do enough penance and so forth. In
its sad extremes, it harked to a sort of Pelagian attitude, implying
that we might be able to do something if we did enough harsh stuff!
But, of course, even that would never be enough. It was a rather mean
idea of God.)

Humility is NOT affected, not presupposing, hence efforts to LOOK
humble when one is not so will fall woefully short of the mark. No
Academy Awards for this one! When they call for the envelope, it will
be empty!

Genuine humility is the most unself-conscious thing in the
world. It produces the external demeanor without any further ado,
because the person actually (and usually unwittingly!) BECOMES the
truth they are striving to live. Humility shows up in the face, in
everything, just as years of bitterness or years of love often do.

You couldn't hide humility if you wanted to, but you don't need to,
because the true humility is rarely even noticed and those who are
less humble tend to discount the really humble as nobodies. In one
sense, they are quite right! Both would agree on that!

If one never gets to the joy and love of the end of this passage,
there will be no reason not to look artificially rather glum over
sins that one probably doesn't believe at heart are great anyhow.
This is where some monastics miss the mark. They can stop at the
perpetual gloom and dread point, without realizing the contemplative
joy and love beyond that.

Monasticism is true, but the Gospel is more so. Neither Jansenism nor
perpetual gloom would play very well with Matthew, Mark, Luke or
John. That means they wouldn't play well with St. Benedict, either,
as his second portion surely guarantees. Love and joy and humility
are an inseparable trio! When fear is cast out, gloom goes right
along with it!

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
jeromeleo@... St. Mary's Monastery
Petersham, MA

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

Prayers of Deo gratias and thanksgiving for Richard and Mary Lou, celebrating
their 32nd year of marriage this week, and for MAtt and Bette, celebrating 11
years today. Prayers for Jean Sheridan, on her birthday. I think she may be 39
this year....

Prayers, too, for Harry and a vocations campaign he is helping in Scotland.
Prayers for TomKay and his Mom, Irene and his sister, Linda. Irene's knee
replacement became seriously infected after a fall, requiring hospitalization
and massive antibiotics, hope fully to be discharged early next week, then Tom
and Linda will be looking after her at home. Prayers all around!! Prayers for
Guerry, 15, who drowned while surrounded by friends. They did not realize he was
in trouble until it was too late; and for all his family and friends, mourning
this terrible shock. Prayers for Walter, 96, widowed last year. He had a stroke
and is in ICU but needs some soul healing in short order, especially if he is to
have a happy death, also for Richard his son and all his family. Lord, help them
as You know and will. God's will is best. All is mercy and grace. God is never
absent, praise Him!  Thanks so much.  JL

February 10, June 11, October 11
Chapter 8: On the Divine Office During the Night

In the winter time,
that is from the Calends of November until Easter,
the sisters shall rise
at what is calculated to be the eighth hour of the night,
so that they may sleep somewhat longer than half the night
and rise with their rest completed.
And the time that remains after the Night Office
should be spent in study
by those sisters who need a better knowledge of the Psalter
or the lessons.


From Easter to the aforesaid Calends of November,
the hour of rising should be so arranged that the Morning Office,
which is to be said at daybreak,
will follow the Night Office after a very short interval,
during which they may go out for the necessities of nature.

REFLECTION

In St. Benedict's time, and for centuries afterwards, life on a self-sustaining
farm, which monasteries were supposed to be, was far more difficult and
time consuming than it would be today. The simplest things that we now do
with the flick of a switch were big deals, involving lots of human workers and
every available daylight hour.

Hence, the monks got up early, very early, to get in much of their monastic day
before the sun (and the critters!) rose for the day. There was, of course, a
penitential aspect to this early rising, too, but a lot of it was the
practicality of sheer necessity. One can look at monastic schedules in history
and
see that as farm labor became less, rising times became later. No point in
getting
up at the eighth hour of night , 2 AM, if you don't have to!

There's at least a possible hint for Oblates of today in all this. Get up a bit
earlier if you can, and devote those silent and dark morning hours or minutes to
your
monastic endeavors. Knock off a late TV favorite and go to bed a tad earlier. We
always find time for what we love most. If, however, one is married and has a
spouse that doesn't want one to blissfully retire at 7:30 or so, this will not
work. Marriage is a primary, sacramental vocation and demands precedence.

Two very human glimpses into the personality of St. Benedict here. He
is thoughtful and kind, making sure the monastics have time for a
bathroom run and he is not prudish about mentioning it. Its part of
the human and part of family life. As casually as a Mother asks young
children if anybody "has to go" before a trip, he throws out mention
of the fact that not everyone could make it through two long services
without great discomfort!

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
jeromeleo@...
Petersham, MA

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Prayers for the repose of the soul of Melkite Archbishop Joseph Raya, long
retired, he led the Melkite Catholic Church in the U.S. for many years. Blessed
repose and eternal memory!

Belated birthday prayers for Cas Ilenda. Many more!!!  (This is not the Cas of
Petersham Mass and Vespers fame, folks.)

Prayers, too, for Bill recovering well from his heart attack and going to rehab,
also for Felix, his nephew. Prayers for Daniel, 18, who died from a
self-inflicted gunshot wound, and for all his family and friends, also for
Christopher, 9, who died of an undetected ruptured appendix, and for his parents
and family. Prayers for Andy, severe graft versus host disease (rejection of
stem cell transplant from his brother,) in early remission from lymphoma. This
caused terrible lung problems and also attacked his stomach and liver. He is in
ICU, prayers for him and all his family. Walter, 96, for whom we prayed, is
showing progress. Continued prayers for his spiritual healing, for his son and
family. Lord, help them as You know and will. God's will is best. All is mercy
and grace. God is never absent, praise Him! Thanks so much. JL

February 11, June 12, October 12
Chapter 9: How Many Psalms Are to Be Said at the Night Office

In winter time as defined above,
there is first this verse to be said three times:
"O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth shall declare Your praise."
To it is added Psalm 3 and the "Glory be to the Father,"
and after that Psalm 94 to be chanted with an antiphon
or even chanted simply.
Let the Ambrosian hymn follow next,
and then six Psalms with antiphons.
When these are finished and the verse said,
let the Abbot give a blessing;
then, all being seated on the benches,
let three lessons be read from the book on the lectern
by the brethren in their turns,
and after each lesson let a responsory be chanted.
Two of the responsories are to be said
without a "Glory be to the Father"
but after the third lesson
let the chanter say the "Glory be to the Father,"
and as soon as he begins it let all rise from their seats
out of honor and reverence to the Holy Trinity.


The books to be read at the Night Office
shall be those of divine authorship,
of both the Old and the New Testament,
and also the explanations of them which have been made
by well known and orthodox Catholic Fathers.


After these three lessons with their responsories
let the remaining six Psalms follow,
to be chanted with "Alleluia."
After these shall follow the lesson from the Apostle,
to be recited by heart,
the verse
and the petition of the litany, that is "Lord, have mercy on us."
And so let the Night Office come to an end.

REFLECTION

There is an unfortunate and perennial heresy among would-be
liturgists, even some Benedictines, which holds that if it's long,
its good. Not so, and quite evidently not so to St. Benedict, either.
The order he prescribes for Vigils is almost exactly half the length
of the Roman cathedral Office of his time.

St. Benedict was very serious about monasticism, but he also wanted
to shorten the Office, which was obviously of central importance to
him. Why? I think he aimed, once again, at balance, at moderation and
at gentleness. His monastics were farmers, not wealthy cathedral
prelates with servants and benefices. They would have dropped rather
quickly from fatigue had he imposed the Roman Office of the time on
them.

There is a great message of moderation here for Oblates. St. Benedict
knew perfectly well that if his monastics were too long at Matins and
Lauds, the cows would be bellowing in pain from distended udders,
waiting for the high church milkers to finally arrive. See the
operative principle here? The Office is PART of one's life, a
terribly important part, but ALL of one's work and life is prayer.
Figuratively speaking, if your life and primary vocation has left you
with cows to milk, for heavens sake (literally!) go milk 'em!

Our Office, for every monastic, from Abbot Primate down to newest
Oblate novice, must be a harmonious part of our life. We are not
called to the excesses of Cluny, whose monks were in choir most of
the time, adding ever more and more gee-gaws and trinkets to the
Office. If one's children or spouse or work calls one to do less,
answer that call. No one is called to be a choir athlete, at it all
the time.

If illness or disability limit what you can do, do what you can and bless God
for what you cannot! He knows what He is about. The Fathers taught that
illness or other physical challenges, even just aging, took the place
of stringent penances performed by the healthy and well. Whatever the
limits imposed by bodily problems, they themselves became penance
and asceticism for the monastic.

In long dealings with Oblates I have frequently heard this issue
raised: saying the whole Office. That is fine, and some lives,
notably single ones, might make it possible. Other lives, lives
founded on sacraments like marriage, might well not. Trying to amend
one's primary, sacramental vocation to be a monastic in the world
misses the point. That primary vocation is part and parcel of HOW one
becomes a monastic in the world. Tamper with it and you mess up the
entire picture.

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
jeromeleo@...
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
St. Mary's Monastery
Petersham, MA

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Prayers, please for Andy, for whom we prayed yesterday. He has taken a turn for
the worse.  Along with the graft vs. host disease, he has had fungal pneumonia
brought about by his many days in bed and his body’s compromised immune system. 
Though it appeared to have gotten much better a couple days ago, not so tonight.
He is at the moment unconscious, intubated, has a bladder infection, and on
dialysis. Ardent prayers for him and his family, please.

Prayers for Spc. Michael Kelley, killed last week in Afghanistan, and for Sister
Ann Bernard, OP, who has also died. She was my high school principal. Abbot
Paul, of Zevenkerken, Belgium, for whom we prayed, died peacefully Friday.
Prayers for the eternal rest of them all and for their families and friends!

Prayers of joy and Deo gratias for Sr. Carol Coston, OP, who taught me much and
well: she celebrates her 50th jubilee this week.

Prayers for Christie, test anxiety and yet another teaching exam to face to
today, also for Cheryl, colonoscopy today. Lord, help them as you know and will.
God's will is best. All is mercy and grace. God is never absent, praise Him.
Thanks so much JL

Chapter 10: How the Night Office Is to Be Said in Summer Time

From Easter until the Calends of November
let the same number of Psalms be kept as prescribed above;
but no lessons are to be read from the book,
on account of the shortness of the nights.
Instead of those three lessons
let one lesson from the Old Testament be said by heart
and followed by a short responsory.
But all the rest should be done as has been said;
that is to say that never fewer than twelve Psalms
should be said at the Night Office,
not counting Psalm 3 and Psalm 94.


REFLECTION

The gentleness of St. Benedict, his considerate thoughtfulness is
again apparent here. Another principle comes to mind, as well. The
Office is important, but it revolves WITH us to a certain extent. It
is the axis our day turns on, but that axis may be shortened by the
season. There are circumstances under which even the Work of God
itself changes for us. Was humanity made for the Sabbath, or the
Sabbath for humanity?

The message here is very clear. To all prima donnas and divas, of
either sex, who think the Office revolves around their own choral
fantasies, get a life! The Office revolves around the Son and the
sun, and your identity with either remains seriously in doubt. To all
amateur musicians (or even pros with bad manners,) who terrorize
their brothers or sisters in the name of perfectionism, lighten up!
To any of said groups who claim that Benedictinism justifies their
antics, you're dead wrong. It doesn't.

Two quotes I love come to mind. One was from the late Abbot Alfred of
Pluscarden, who said: "The monastery is no place for an amateur
musician." The other is from G. K. Chesterton: "The artistic
temperament is a disease which afflicts amateurs."

The rhythm here is pure agriculture, not liturgy: when the sun rises
sooner, so do the farm chores, which have no human seasonal clocks to
tell them otherwise! Critters have to be cared for, milked and
pastured according to their clocks, not ours. The upshot of this is
that, for nearly 1,500 years, until the late 1960's, Benedictines
followed the Holy Rule's advice and said Matins differently in the
summer and winter, even in the cities. (It is worthy of note that, at
least in the U.S., agricultural enterprises were being abandoned at
about the same time as no longer economically feasible in many
houses.)

Put another spin on this and you will find, especially if you are an
Oblate, that St. Benedict intends at least some aspects of his
monastic program to adapt themselves to the environment in which the
monastic lives. Do not wear yourself out trying to make the very
square peg of a relentless monastic life fit into the intractably
round hole of a life in the world.

Don't try to make your kids (or spouse!) understand that you are
going to be monastic, no matter whether they are or aren't. For one
thing, if you in any way diminish your primary vocation, like
marriage or parenthood, you are not going to be monastic at all!
For another thing, such tactics might drive them even farther from
the faith you hope to share and instill in them.

The key to our struggle is obedience and humility, not control of others.
Our oblation must be done in addition to our sacramental and primary
vocations, never instead of them.

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
jeromeleo@...
Petersham, MA

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There are a WHOLE lot of prayer requests today, and I am terribly late- out at
the airport last night till 1:15 am picking up some one on a 5 hours delayed
flight, so I will not be able to respond to everyone individually, please let
the appearance of the intention be a response.

Prayers, please, for Fr. Jim Tingerthal, OSB, monk of St. John's Abbey,
Collegeville, MN, and former Administrator of St. Leo Abbey. He has suffered a
blood clot on his brain which has left him with some speech and memory problems
that are very frustrating to him. He did a tremendous lot of good while in FL
and richly deserves our prayers. Prayers for Em, inoperable brain tumor,
radiation possible, but prognosis does not look promising as this type
frequently recurs, and for G., heartbroken and trying to care for her at home.
Prayers for Helen Mamrovich, who died yesterday and for her niece, Charlene, and
all her family. Prayers for Dietrich Schueneman, beloved Scottish academic who
was killed in a car crash, and for his family , students and friends who mourn
him.

Prayers for Kaye, throat surgery on Monday and for her husband, growth around
his heart, slowing losing his battle with amyloidosis, for Pete, colon cancer
surgery on Monday and for Joan, his wife. For Claire, a couple of brain tumors,
a Filipina, she has no one here but her husband and young son and has had to
drop out of nursing school, and for  all her family. ALso for Frances' husband,
having a brain tumor removed.

Deo gratias! Christie passed her exam and got the job, Cheryl's colonoscopy went
well, no problems found, also, Bp. Basil found the mislocated cash on the feast
of St. Anthony!

Prayers for Father George, here to teach a week's class to our younger monks on
the patristic readings and baptismal catecheses in the Easter Cycle, and for his
students! Prayers for Tom and Mary and their family, especially Tom's Mom, who
died at 84 on Saturday. Prayers for Cynthia, facing a financially difficult
summer with loss of some employment. Lord, help them as You know and will. God's
will is best. All is mercy and grace. God is never absent, praise Him!  Thanks
so much. JL

February 13, June 14, October 14
Chapter 11: How the Night Office Is to Be Said on Sundays

On Sunday
the hour of rising for the Night Office should be earlier.
In that Office let the measure already prescribed be kept,
namely the singing of six Psalms and a verse.
Then let all be seated on the benches in their proper order
while the lessons and their responsories are read from the book,
as we said above.
These shall be four in number,
with the chanter saying the "Glory be to the Father"
in the fourth responsory only,
and all rising reverently as soon as he begins it.


After these lessons
let six more Psalms with antiphons follow in order, as before,
and a verse;
and then let four more lessons be read with their responsories
in the same way as the former.


After these let there be three canticles
from the book of the Prophets,
as the Abbot shall appoint,
and let these canticles be chanted with "Alleluia."
Then when the verse has been said
and the Abbot has given the blessing,
let four more lessons be read,
from the New Testament,
in the manner prescribed above.


After the fourth responsory
let the Abbot begin the hymn "We praise You, O God."
When this is finished
the Abbot shall read the lesson from the book of the Gospels,
while all stand in reverence and awe.
At the end let all answer "Amen,"
and let the Abbot proceed at once
to the hymn "To You be praise."
After the blessing has been given,
let them begin the Morning Office.


This order for the Night Office on Sunday
shall be observed the year around,
both summer and winter;
unless it should happen (which God forbid)
that the brethren be late in rising,
in which case the lessons or the responsories
will have to be shortened somewhat.
Let every precaution be taken, however,
against such an occurrence;
but if it does happen,
then the one through whose neglect it has come about
should make due satisfaction to God in the oratory.

REFLECTION

The idea of Vigils has very ancient Christian roots: watching all
night in prayer, particularly before Sunday, in anticipation of the
Second Coming (that they be found waiting, with lamps trimmed,) and
from the tradition that Jesus rose from the dead at dawn. The
connections of light/darkness and Son/sun are rich. Anyone who has
ever done an all-night Vigil can tell you it is a memorable
experience. They are frequently done, even in our own day, on Mount
Athos, lasting literally all night and including the chanting of the
ENTIRE Psalter.

With all this, it's no surprise that St. Benedict adds some extra
high church length to Vigils of Sunday. He still, however, makes a
lot of allowances for the monastics, even those who (God forbid!)
oversleep!! His Vigils are long, but they are quite pointedly NOT all
night! Doing an all night vigil for Sunday and every big feast would
do in a community of farmers in short order.

Many people who cut their teeth on pre-1964 Merton works, like "The
Silent Life" or "The Waters of Siloe", might think that the
Benedictines were a rather mitigated lot and the Cistercians were the
only ones who REALLY got the Holy Rule right. Well, yes and no... We
ARE a mitigated lot, we started out that way and have continued on
that middle road. St. Benedict designed his Rule as an adaptation and
yes, mitigation, of Egyptian monastic life, suitable for European
types. And no, the Cistercians are not at all necessarily the ones
who "got it right," as their own adaptations after 1964 clearly
indicate.

Our long history is one of decline and repeated reform. The reforms,
understandably enough have always been aimed at sweeping away
mitigations and laxity. Predictably, they have often swept away a
good deal of moderation in the bargain, as well! Also, predictably,
the reforms themselves decay and have to be reformed: why do you
think there are Common Observance Cistercians and Trappists- two
separate Orders?

Merton, like any of us, changed and grew. In his later years,
questions of observance and mitigation were at least less prominent
and sometimes totally absent. Right now it is probable that BOTH
Benedictines and Cistercians are living in their most relaxed and
mitigated conditions ever. That's not all bad. History might tell us
some of it will need tinkering, tightening up, but God will send the
men and women to do that in His time.

Rather than adopt an attitude of ALL-NIGHT, ALL the time,
get-every-boot-camp-in-toughest--shape and so forth, why not bask a
bit in the fact that we were born mitigated monastics and are meant to be so?
Nothing wrong with that, so long as we don't carry it too far. In the 19th
century, Russian Orthodox Saint Ignatius Brianchaninov said that the monks
of the latter days would NOT be doing many of the great works of old, but
that the peculiar conditions of the world in which they had to live would
balance
things out. The modern and post-modern monastic faces many new obstacles
of which the Fathers and Mothers of old could have at best only dimly imagined.

When I first read Merton, he had some growing ahead of him and I was
14...didn't make for a very complete grasp on my part! Now, instead
of scorning relaxed observance in horror, I welcome it. Both Merton
and I learned something on different schedules: God gives certain
monasteries their particular observances because they are the only
place in the world some people could ever become monks. And this is
as true of relaxed observance as it is of strict!

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
jeromeleo@... St. Mary's Monastery
Petersham, MA

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Prayers, please, for Fr. Steve Petrica, on the tenth anniversary of his
ordination yesterday and for me, on the thirteenth anniversary of my vows today.
Deo gratias for our vocations and for all he has given us in these years!

Andy, for whom we have been praying, died yesterday morning. Prayers for his
eternal rest and for wife, family and friends. Prayers, for Karla, 40, a cancer
nurse having surgery for what is believed to be ovarian cancer on Thursday.
Prayers for Eddie, mourning the loss of his beloved dog that he had for 13
years. Lord, help them as You know and will. God's will is best. All is mercy
and grace. God is never absent, praise Him! Thanks so much.  JL

February 14, June 15, October 15
Chapter 12: How the Morning Office Is to Be Said

The Morning Office on Sunday shall begin with Psalm 66
recited straight through without an antiphon.
After that let Psalm 50 be said with "Alleluia,"
then Psalms 117 and 62,
the Canticle of Blessing (Benedicite) and the Psalms of praise (Ps.
148-150);
then a lesson from the Apocalypse to be recited by heart,
the responsory, the verse,
the canticle from the Gospel book,
the litany and so the end.

REFLECTION

Ever notice how a loving parent makes allowances to the kids WON'T
slip up or be discouraged? Good teachers do the same thing. Some
things are made so deliberately easy that all of the students can
generally make it through the hoop!

St. Benedict does this with both morning Offices, beginning Vigils
and Lauds with 2 psalms that are said every day. He even stresses
that, at Lauds, the 66th Psalm is to be said slowly, so that the
monastics may have time to gather.

Those two Offices are the time people are most likely to be running
late, either because they had to bound out of bed at the last minute,
or because the "necessities of nature" break between Vigils and Lauds
delayed them unexpectedly. It is worth noting that only with these
two Offices, when tardiness can so easily occur, does the Holy Rule
make such allowance. For a further bit of trivia, these four Psalms
are repeated every day: one could miss them several times in a week
and still have said all 150 Psalms in that week.

Sometimes people (including, alas, ourselves!) can make unrealistic
conditions and demand that others meet them. The concept of failure
is built into those demands. We fence people about with our own
standards that they could not possibly meet, then condemn them for
failing to meet them! What a sad and tragic game.

Take a self-inventory and check to see if there is anyone you dislike so
intensely that they cannot be right, no matter what they do. If there are any
such
folks, it's time for you to change, not them! I recall, alas, one pastor who
annoyed me so much that even when he used incense (something I ordinarily
love,) I carped to myself that he didn't do it right. With me, he just could NOT
win. Sigh...  When things get that bad, it's ourselves who need the overhaul,
not the presumed "offender."

St. Benedict, by his example, teaches us to be the exact opposite. He
shows us that we should be gentle and loving, that we should not be
about setting burdens on others that are guaranteed to make them fail
or quit or be discouraged. If we have received such kindness, we
should pass it on!

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
jeromeleo@...
Petersham, MA

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Prayers of thanks and Deo gratias for Trisha, who has finally been able to
return to work on a limited basis, she has waited so long for this, may she
improve and ease in GRADUALLY!!  Trisha is so grateful for your prayers. 
Another Deo gratias for Claire, for whom we prayed. Her brain tumors are not
cancerous and she will forego surgery for now, just close monitoring. And Deo
gratias for a pastor/flock controversy that seems to be making progress in the
right direction of resolution!

Prayers for the repose of the soul of Sr. Veronica, 70, a Chicago nun who died a
little over month after a hit and run driver  accident, and for the driver, as
yet unknown. Prayers for Tanner, a little girl struck by a car and thrown 30
feet, prognosis unknown, and for her family and friends. Prayers for Loretta,
her sister and brother-in-law and their two young children. The brother-in-law
has a serious substance abuse problem threatening to tear up the family. Lord,
help them as You know and will. God's will is best. All is mercy and grace. God
is never absent, praise Him! Thanks so much. JL

February 15, June 16, October 16
Chapter 13: How the Morning Office Is to Be Said on Weekdays

On weekdays
the Morning Office shall be celebrated as follows.
Let Psalm 66 be said without an antiphon
and somewhat slowly,
as on Sunday,
in order that all may be in time for Psalm 50,
which is to be said with an antiphon.
After that let two other Psalms be said according to custom,
namely:
on Monday Psalms 5 and 35,
on Tuesday Psalms 42 and 56,
on Wednesday Psalms 63 and 64,
on Thursday Psalms 87 and 89,
on Friday Psalms 75 and 91,
and on Saturday Psalm 142 and the canticle from Deuteronomy,
which is to be divided into two sections
each terminated by a "Glory be to the Father."
But on the other days let there be a canticle from the Prophets,
each on its own day as chanted by the Roman Church.
Next follow the Psalms of praise,
then a lesson of the Apostle to be recited from memory,
the responsory, the hymn, the verse,
the canticle from the Gospel book,
the litany, and so the end.

REFLECTION

Again, we have the gentleness of St. Benedict, insisting on the slow
recitation of Psalm 66, to give all the stragglers and strugglers
time to arrive! But we have it here in other respects, too. Check out
the length of the Canticle from Deuteronomy. Pack a lunch!! St.
Benedict divides it, drops one Psalm and lets one half of the very
long canticle take its place.

Even though St. Benedict went out of his way to shorten the Roman
Office of his day, here he says that the canticles chosen by the
Roman Church for most of the week should be used. When he sees a good
idea, he embraces it. When he sees a need for change, he does that,
too. It is very evident that he did not care for lengthy services,
that he did not want his monastics to become liturgical gymnasts,
spending ALL their time working out! As always, he wanted balance.

We must always be careful NOT to read St. Benedict with purely 21st
century eyes. Liturgy and uniformity were very, very different in his
time. If anything, uniformity was little known. The greatest
ascendancy of the Roman usage before Trent in Europe- and even that
was far from complete- would come hundreds of years later, under the
aegis of Charlemagne. The enforced uniformity of Trent was over a
thousand years away.

Trivia: We forget that the Roman rite of Trent was not used
everywhere before the 16th century, or even used everywhere AFTER the
Reformation. One of the minor complaints to arise about the priests
of the post-Reformation English mission was that some used the new
Roman Mass of Trent, while others clung to the more ancient and
properly English rite of Sarum. Dominicans, Cistercians and
Carthusians retained their own rites, with Gallican peculiarities,
right up until the late 1960's. Carthusians still use their own rite
for Mass and Office, currently the most ancient and rare rite in the
West.

Hence, when we see St. Benedict setting up his own complete Psalter,
that is not unusual: every monastery would have to do that for
itself, some better than others. It was that "some better than
others" part that St. Benedict wished to avoid: he set a standard for
his monasteries that would protect them from the surrounding extremes
of too much or too little.

Love and prayers,

Jerome, OSB
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
jeromeleo@...
Petersham, MA

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Prayers of Deo gratias and thanks! Karla, for whom we prayed about her surgery,
does not have ovarian cancer!

Prayers for Bp. Basil, possible early signs of serious kidney problems, as
always, the uncertainty of waiting for more news is very hard. Prayers also for
Peggy, who needs a second opinion on her liver biopsy and the suggested hospital
is not on her insurance coverage. Lord, help them as You know and will. God's
will is best. All is mercy and grace. God is never absent, praise Him! Thanks so
much.  JL

February 16, June 17, October 17
Chapter 13: How the Morning Office Is to Be Said on Weekdays

The Morning and Evening Offices
should never be allowed to pass
without the Superior saying the Lord's Prayer
in its place at the end
so that all may hear it,
on account of the thorns of scandal which are apt to spring up.
Thus those who hear it,
being warned by the covenant which they make in that prayer
when they say, "Forgive us as we forgive,"
may cleanse themselves of faults against that covenant.


But at the other Offices
let the last part only of that prayer be said aloud,
so that all may answer, "But deliver us from evil.

REFLECTION

The Our Father is THE Christian covenant of peace. If St. Benedict
insists it be said aloud twice a day, it is because he knows well the
tempests- nay, HURRICANES- in teacups that can spring up in any
enclosed home group, be it cloister or family. Things get magnified
inappropriately precisely because those we live with are dear to us.
If they weren't, they would be much less able to hurt or annoy us!

There weren't subways in St. Benedict's time, but there was a world
outside. Picture yourself riding a subway with any or all of these
types: an alcoholic, an abuser, a severely disturbed mental patient,
a tragic drug addict. These are just the ones that we might notice,
too. All of us on the subway ride daily with liars, thieves,
adulterers and worse, we just don't know it. Even though the subway
can offer a bit of a challenge to Christian peace, to forgiveness,
one usually has only to wait for one's stop, hoping meanwhile that a
transit cop will appear. If the situation is really frightening, one
could get off early and catch the next train.

In family or community, sometimes even in the workplace, we may not
change trains. Not only that, but there are often no transit cops at
all. (Even less than in Boston, where one may safely wonder how we
can afford all those parked MBTA cruisers with so few officers ever
in evidence to justify the expense....) Always remember that
Christian life, Benedictine life, is never tested when it is easy.
Alas, it is only through testing that we grow, that our practice
improves.

On the subway or bus, or even in the artificially detached situation
of world newscasts, it can be a LOT easier to forgive. It comes at
little or no price at all. It's pretty easy to forgive even horrible
criminals if they have not harmed our home circle, if they have not
directly harmed us. Hate to say it, folks, but the easy stuff is not
where it's at for us. A 50 yard dash may be the beginnings of an
Olympic gold medalist in the decathlon, but it is never the whole
picture.

The key to Benedictine peace is forgiveness, which is why St.
Benedict stresses that phrase and calls it a covenant. It truly IS a
covenant of peace. We are daily asking God, twice out loud, but
ideally many more times than that alone, to forgive us in the measure
that we forgive. Whoa! Risky business there! Any chain's strength is
decided by its weakest link, so think of the person you LEAST
forgive. There you will have the model you are suggesting to God that
He use in forgiving you. As Fr. Hugo used to say: "You love God as
much as the one you love least."

Fortunately, for most of us, God's Divine Mercy is unfathomably deep.
I don't personally think God feels Himself completely bound by the terms
we offer Him, at least I hope he doesn't. If He did, I imagine heaven would
be a quite appallingly empty place, indeed. It is never too late, even at
the last fleeting instant of life, for us to repent and accept His mercy!

Nevertheless, I'll bet He will remind us of the terms we offered and
how little mercy they would afford us. That is one very good reason
why Roman Catholics believe in Purgatory- a chance to shower off the
terms we offered God that were so limited they would never cut anyone
much slack!

Roman Catholicism and most other mainline Christian denominations
have not been known as peace churches, historically. They have not
made the dogmatic necessity of pacifism that the Mennonites or
Quakers have. Still, it is very hard to look at the Gospel itself or
at the daily Our Fathers and understand how so many wars have happened in
Christian history, especially between allegedly Christian nations.

The terms we have offered God as to how we would
like to be forgiven have been far less than optimal. "OK, we will
forgive you AFTER we have reduced your country to rubble and your
population by say, 20-30% or more...." If God took (or takes!) us at
our word, we shall be in deep trouble, indeed.

If every monastery refectory, every dining room table and every
workplace lunch room had perfect forgiveness and peace, there would
likely be no war. Wouldn't happen, because genuine peace truly is
contagious. Do you see why we have to start at home, to start small?
It's the only place we have to begin.

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
jeromeleo@...
Petersham, MA

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

Prayers, please, for the repose of the souls of Lillian, Erma and George, and
for all who mourn them. Prayers for vocations to St. Mary's Monastery, and all
our monasteries. Prayers, too, for all agnostics and those whose faith is
weakened or tested. Prayers for someone preparing an important sermon, for God's
words to come shining through. Prayers of thanks, Deo gratias and blessings for
Ellie, who donated some badly needed new pillows and such to the guesthouse!
Lord, help them as You know and will. God's will is best. All is mercy and
grace. God is never absent, praise Him! Thanks so much!  JL

February 17, June 18, October 18
Chapter 14: How the Night Office Is to Be Said on the Feasts of the
Saints

On the feasts of Saints and on all festivals
let the Office be performed
as we have prescribed for Sundays,
except that the Psalms, the antiphons and the lessons
belonging to that particular day are to be said.
Their number, however, shall remain as we have specified above.

REFLECTION

Every love life needs a bit of variety now and then, even the
monogamous ones, even the celibate ones, and, let us face it, our
prayer is (or ought to be!) a love life. Without marking certain days
as special, our Office would quickly become a bland and tedious bore.
On the other hand, mark too much as special and people soon get worn
out. Variety itself becomes boring and a chore. What sane married
couple would insist on spending every night in a different motel? One
or both would quickly tire of that and it would destroy the very
unity it was aiming to protect.

Having lived in a monastery for part of the 1960's and 70's where the
liturgy became the sad equivalent of a revolving door, changing often
and not often well, I can speak from experience. It became dreadful
to wonder what would happen next. It pulled out the necessary
underpinnings of a certain stability (gasp!) and changelessness that
a Benedictine life of prayer requires.

Ah, but in the quest for simplicity carried to unfortunate extremes,
it did, at times, become UTTERLY changeless. Same old same old, every
single day with nothing different but the prayer at the end, if that.
("Oh boy, it must be Tuesday again....!") No antiphons, just psalms
and canticles. No music other than the hymn, same seven each week for
each hour, a few good, many bad.... No Glory be between Psalms, just
one at the end. It was dull and gave even more of an impression
of "let's just get this over with" than the old Office did at its
very worst. One often wondered why we still bothered to go to choir.

A balance between variety and stability is where the virtue truly
lies. I have never heard anyone complain about singing or saying the
same unchanging parts of the Mass every day, because they are set in
the midst of elements that DO change every day. The same must be true
of the Office to a certain extent. When SO much changes at feasts
that one longs and pines for a weekday with one book and NOTHING
special, that balance has been missed. On the other hand, the
changeless mundane misses the balance as well. One should never have
to come out of a "simple" Office and think quietly: "Wow, that was
dumb...." (But I often have.)

St. Benedict built the necessary change right into his Office for
monasteries. Ignore his bottom line or extend it unduly and you get
into trouble. In this instance, as in so many, he was far wiser than
we are, than people of any age are.

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
jeromeleo@...
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
Petersham, MA

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

Prayers, please, for the repose of the souls of Lillian, Erma and George, and
for all who mourn them. Prayers for vocations to St. Mary's Monastery, and all
our monasteries. Prayers, too, for all agnostics and those whose faith is
weakened or tested. Prayers for someone preparing an important sermon, for God's
words to come shining through. Prayers of thanks, Deo gratias and blessings for
Ellie, who donated some badly needed new pillows and such to the guesthouse!
Lord, help them as You know and will. God's will is best. All is mercy and
grace. God is never absent, praise Him! Thanks so much!  JL

February 17, June 18, October 18
Chapter 14: How the Night Office Is to Be Said on the Feasts of the
Saints

On the feasts of Saints and on all festivals
let the Office be performed
as we have prescribed for Sundays,
except that the Psalms, the antiphons and the lessons
belonging to that particular day are to be said.
Their number, however, shall remain as we have specified above.

REFLECTION

Every love life needs a bit of variety now and then, even the
monogamous ones, even the celibate ones, and, let us face it, our
prayer is (or ought to be!) a love life. Without marking certain days
as special, our Office would quickly become a bland and tedious bore.
On the other hand, mark too much as special and people soon get worn
out. Variety itself becomes boring and a chore. What sane married
couple would insist on spending every night in a different motel? One
or both would quickly tire of that and it would destroy the very
unity it was aiming to protect.

Having lived in a monastery for part of the 1960's and 70's where the
liturgy became the sad equivalent of a revolving door, changing often
and not often well, I can speak from experience. It became dreadful
to wonder what would happen next. It pulled out the necessary
underpinnings of a certain stability (gasp!) and changelessness that
a Benedictine life of prayer requires.

Ah, but in the quest for simplicity carried to unfortunate extremes,
it did, at times, become UTTERLY changeless. Same old same old, every
single day with nothing different but the prayer at the end, if that.
("Oh boy, it must be Tuesday again....!") No antiphons, just psalms
and canticles. No music other than the hymn, same seven each week for
each hour, a few good, many bad.... No Glory be between Psalms, just
one at the end. It was dull and gave even more of an impression
of "let's just get this over with" than the old Office did at its
very worst. One often wondered why we still bothered to go to choir.

A balance between variety and stability is where the virtue truly
lies. I have never heard anyone complain about singing or saying the
same unchanging parts of the Mass every day, because they are set in
the midst of elements that DO change every day. The same must be true
of the Office to a certain extent. When SO much changes at feasts
that one longs and pines for a weekday with one book and NOTHING
special, that balance has been missed. On the other hand, the
changeless mundane misses the balance as well. One should never have
to come out of a "simple" Office and think quietly: "Wow, that was
dumb...." (But I often have.)

St. Benedict built the necessary change right into his Office for
monasteries. Ignore his bottom line or extend it unduly and you get
into trouble. In this instance, as in so many, he was far wiser than
we are, than people of any age are.

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
jeromeleo@...
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
Petersham, MA

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

A blessed feast of Saint Romuald to all our Camaldolese OSB friends. May your
founder's prayers fill your own lives with grace and joy! Deo gratias for all
the gifts their lives bring to the Church, to us all!

Prayers of thanks and Deo gratias for Art and Jean, celebrating their 50th
wedding anniversary and for all their family. Many more years! Prayers for
Debbie, facing a complicated hip replacement on Monday with a long recovery.
Roles reverse and her husband and boys now have to take care of her. May the
lessons of grace in that be readily learned by all. Prayers for Anne, tests for
some GYN problems, waiting three weeks for final results and waiting is so hard,
also for John, her husband. Prayers for Tom, embarking on a pastoral associate
job in a very challenging parish, lots to do there! Lord, help them as You know
and will. God's will is best. All is mercy and grace. God is never absent,
praise Him! Thanks so much!  JL

[While I did try for a while to add Alleluia to the end of every prayer post,
even I got antsy about doing that in Lent. Too often I had to forward a post to
people who would not know why I did it, so I shortened it to the very apt
translation of "praise Him!"]

February 18, June 19, October 19
Chapter 15: At What Times "Alleluia" Is to Be Said

From holy Easter until Pentecost without interruption
let "Alleluia" be said
both in the Psalms and in the responsories.
From Pentecost to the beginning of Lent
let it be said every night
with the last six Psalms of the Night Office only.
On every Sunday, however, outside of Lent,
the canticles, the Morning Office, Prime, Terce, Sext and None
shall be said with "Alleluia,"
but Vespers with antiphons.

The responsories are never to be said with "Alleluia"
except from Easter to Pentecost.

REFLECTION

When I lived in the Byzantine rite for a very happy while, one of the
things that surprised me was the fact that they still used Alleluia
in Lent. That sounded strange to my Western ears, but not for long.
In the West, Alleluia has become virtually nothing but a synonym
for "Hooray!" In the East, not so. Our Western connection of Alleluia
as primarily a word of rejoicing reserved for happy times is not
quite on the mark, with all due apologies to St. Benedict and the
rest of Western tradition.

When was the last time you stopped to think that "Amen" really
meant "So be it"? I do now and then, but usually just parrot the word
out without a thought. So it is with most people saying
Alleluia. "Oh, yeah, uh...alleluia...." Alleluia means "Praise the
Lord." Focus on this and one can readily see why the East still says
it during Lent.

Of course, St. Benedict's prescriptions here are a perfect blend of
change and variety for the Office. They "dress up" the most festive
times of the years and provide a break from the ordinary. Probably
what St. Benedict had in mind at the time was that our hearts should
be so full at Paschaltide that no other words would do: only the
ineffable stuttering out of "Alleluia!!" would convey our joy. He
wasn't wrong about that, but saying Alleluia mindlessly misses the
point.

So, forgive me, does saying Alleluia only at joyous times. The
charismatic movement in the 1970's made popular the English
equivalent of Alleluia: "Praise the Lord!" It was an expression of
joy and gratitude for whatever God had done for one. Ah, but then
the "whatever" part of that phrase soon came to be evident! A very
clever catch phrase evolved for those times when things WEREN'T so
great, when one had difficulty appreciating what sometimes seems like
God's decidedly strange sense of humor. On such occasions, they
said: "Praise the Lord Anyhow!" Now that one is probably closer to
the real sense of "Alleluia!"

Our Office and Mass may change in Lent in the Western tradition, but
our hearts must always and everywhere, in every circumstance,
say "Alleluia!" and really mean it, really know it.

Love and prayers and Alleluia!
Jerome, OSB
jeromeleo@...
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
Petersham, MA

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

+PAX

Prayers, please, for Marina, looking for lodging in July, and for Nanette's
parents, celebrating 50 years of marriage, also for Nanette, exploring education
for new career opportunities. For Fr. Jim, responsible for 4 parishes and one
year from retirement, and for Tom and all those who help him in his ministry.

Continued prayers for: Father Jim Tingerthal, OSB, recuperating from a brain
clot at home, for baby Izeck, brain aneurysm and still needs a lot of prayer.
Prayers  also for new born, Samuel, in ICU with a nasty hernia and Josh, 10,
very ill with a fever that is not responding to treatment.

Prayers of Deo gratias and thanks for Cherrie, 17, for whom we prayed after her
brain problem, she is now getting around with a walker and slowly regaining her
speech.

Prayers, please for all the North Yorkshire areas affected by flash floods. No
human lives lost so far, but a lot of livestock and economic hardships. This is
the area around Ampleforth Abbey.

Prayers for Jane's Mom, badly infected cellulitis in one foot and leg and now
she has injured her other knee, with extreme swelling making it very hard to get
around. Prayers, too, for Karen, Dave and Gayle in Alaska. Dave and Gayle are
moving to Arizona and Karen will miss them sorely, for their safe trip and
Karen's graceful acceptance of her loss. Prayers for Margaret, having 2/3 of her
stomach removed this morning.

Prayers for Joan, 97, in badly failing health. She has been unhappy and angry
for years and has no hope nor faith. Ardent prayers for her to turn around in
time. Lord, help them as You know and will. God's will is best. All is mercy and
grace. God is never absent, praise Him!  Thanks so much! JL

February 19, June 20, October 20
Chapter 16: How the Work of God Is to Be Performed During the Day

"Seven times in the day," says the Prophet,
"I have rendered praise to You" (Ps. 118:164).
Now that sacred number of seven will be fulfilled by us
if we perform the Offices of our service
at the time of the Morning Office,
of Prime, of Terce, of Sext, of None,
of Vespers and of Compline,
since it was of these day Hours that he said,
"Seven times in the day I have rendered praise to You."
For as to the Night Office the same Prophet says,
"In the middle of the night I arose to glorify You" (Ps. 118:62).


Let us therefore bring our tribute of praise to our Creator
"for the judgments of His justice" (Ps. 118:164)
at these times:
the Morning Office, Prime, Terce, Sext, None,
Vespers and Compline;
and in the night let us arise to glorify Him.

REFLECTION

Tucked neatly into all this business of naming and counting the Hours
of the Divine Office comes the actual reason we go to choir or say the
Office alone. It is "our tribute of praise to our Creator 'for the judgments of
His justice' " God makes neither junk nor mistakes!

OK, tribute, praise, glorify, all those things are familiar enough to
us, but the zinger here is "for the judgments of His justice."
Whoops! A lot fall out on that one! Whether we realize it or not, the
reason we praise God as Benedictine is to thank Him for ALL His
decisions in regard to us. That isn't easy, but it is terribly valid
and terribly necessary.

We thank God- admittedly sometimes with gritted teeth- for all the
things that did and DIDN'T work out the way we wanted them, for every
acceptance and every rejection that brought us to be as we find
ourselves today, in His arms. The jobs we didn't get, the great loves
which were not reciprocal, the course we flunked, the kids that went
wrong, the illness that dogs us, the spouse we should never have gone
out with twice, the unwanted pregnancy, the miscarriage, EVERYTHING
that has shaped our lives and persons is something we thank God for
in the Office.

I mention only the difficult things, because anybody can be thankful
that the apparently GOOD stuff worked out. Nor am I saying all the
bad stuff is God's fault, or that it's our own fault, but ALL of it
is turned to GOOD by God, and that is worth singing about! All of it!
If we look back honestly, we can see the hand of His goodness in the
darkest times, we can see it in NOT having our way, we can see it in
everything.

Since the way God turns all to good is a mystery we shall never know
fully in this life, we cannot adequately say much of anything but
thanks and praise, the stammered joy of someone who has received a
really great gift and is astounded at such generosity. Thanks, God.
And hey, You really DID know what You were doing all along, didn't
You?

Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
jeromeleo@...
http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
Petersham, MA

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]