Superstitious Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!" The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!" The first one...
Nuns Rock... Sitting behind a couple of nuns at a baseball game (whose habits partially blocked their view), 3 men decided to badger the nuns in an effort to...
Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, is taking a stroll down his local high street. As he passes by the record...
A short marriage A man and woman were having marriage problems, and decided to end their union after a very short time together. After a most brief attempt to...
A Mafia godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the...
* If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? * Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? * Drink tea and nourish life. With the first...
My wife had gained a few pounds. It was most noticeable when she squeezed into a pair of her old blue slacks. Wondering if the added weight was noticeable to...
THE CREATION STORY ~ AS TOLD BY THE CAT On the first day of creation, God created the cat. On the second day, God created man to serve the cat. On the third,...
Lent A beautiful young woman was married to a devout religious man, and for a while their marriage and sex life were doing rather well. But a few weeks later,...
Last year at Christmas time, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional holiday feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a...
In 2001, Katherine Knight of New South Wales, Australia, pleaded guilty to charges she stabbed John Price, her common law husband, 37 times. Police found his...
Count Your Blessings "Let them give thanks to the LORD for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men!" (Psalm 107:8 NIV) Two old friends bumped into...
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. ...
A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. "I can't do that,...
Winters were fierce where the estate owner lived, so he felt he was doing a good deed when he bought earmuffs for his foreman. Noticing, however, that the...
What's the definition of the bravest man in the world The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of perfume, then slaps his wife on the...
As you all know, American millionaires have a tendency to become avid collectors, often of the strangest things. This was certainly true of one particular...
This morning, I woke up & kissed my dad's head. I peed on the carpet, then went back to bed. "The life of a puppy, oh my, this is great." Then I thought about...
Take interest in your future. It's where you're going to spend the rest of your life. ... Susan and Martha meet at the market and exchange news. Susan said: My...
Space Monkeys NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with two monkeys and an astronaut. They trained them for months. Then when they thought they were...
HERE ARE THE CANDIDATES FOR THE ANNUAL DARWIN AWARDS WINDSOR, ONTARIO-- According to police, Daniel Kolta, 27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on...
An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman, so they could produce children beyond comparison. With...
WHAT DO RETIRED PEOPLE DO ALL DAY? Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well for example, the other day I...
A young woman went to a dance, and she had a lowcut, strapless gown on. Around her neck she wore a little golden airplane on a long chain. All night she...
Terrible Accident There was a terrible accident at a building site, and a construction worker rushed over to where a woman was pinned beneath an iron girder....
Acupuncture A friend ~ "...So I went to see this acupuncturist." Mrs. Capp ~ "Really? What for?" The friend ~ "To help with my craving for cakes." Mrs. Capp ~...
Polish sausage A man goes into a store and asks the clerk for some "Polish Sausage." The clerk looked at him and asked "Are you Polish?" The guy, clearly...
