The coed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she cried. "I did? What did I tell you?" asked the dad. "You...
WHAT FLORIDA IS ALL ABOUT ... Phyllis and Mort, a retired couple from New York City, living in Boca Raton, are getting ready to go out to dinner. Phyllis says,...
Nominated as the best short joke this year. . . A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom", he asked, "are these my brains?" ...
After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy godmother. "Make three wishes,"...
The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was crowded with fans watching a sporting event on television. The harried waitress took our order, but more...
A couple goes for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and orders the "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast-iron pot. Just as the...
Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right. ...
Funny Jokes - Outsourcing President Bush doesn't want to fund the road construction bill, saying it is too expensive. He's looking at possible outsourcing -...
Funny Jokes - These Boots are made for Walking Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? ...
The Pope & Golf... Shortly after the Pope had apologized to the Jewish People for the treatment of Jews by the Catholic Church over the years, Ariel Sharon,...
Funny Jokes - Picture of a Ghost A photographer went to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost which was said to appear only once in a hundred...
I was listening to a lady who called a radio pastor. The pastor was a wise, grandfatherly gentleman who has that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear....
An elephant was drinking at a watering hole when a turtle approached. The elephant looked at the turtle for a minute and then gave it a swift kick. The turtle...
A paperboy said to a customer one day, "Mr. Smith, I wish I had twenty customers like you." "Gosh, that's nice to hear," said Smith, "but I'm kind of surprised...
The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. "Worker ants," she told them, "can carry pieces of food five times their own...
Language Jokes An Iranian was at Toronto's International Air Terminal, outside of immigration, awaiting his cousin's arrival into the Canada. When the cousin...
Little Known Illnesses AFROPHOBIA: Fear of the return of the 70's hair styles. PSEUDONYMHOMANIA: Compulsive desire to have a lot of sex under an assumed name. ...
Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back...
An old couple was married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, their neighbors could hear screaming and yelling...
Funny Jokes - Spelling Little Pauly, a kindergartener, practices spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat," "dog," "dad," and "mom" have been ...
PARAMEDIC LAWYER Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their respective ambulance team's response times. "Since we installed our new satellite...
Funny Jokes - You Know It's Time To Diet When... You dance and it makes the band skip. You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you...
Funny Jokes - Thank you for calling Pizza Hut... Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?" Customer: "Hi, I'd like to...
Funny Jokes - A Bit Of Irish Humor A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few...
Funny Jokes - Golf Jokes 1. Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle. 2. "I wish I could play my normal...
Funny Jokes - Bad News and Really Bad News A late middle aged man who just hadn't been feeling well at all, went in for a thorough exam. Since this was an HMO...
Funny Jokes - Embarrassing Little Maury got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks,...
Funny Jokes - Good Luck Patrick O'Reilly was lucky. Since the day he had found that four leaf clover, everything good seemed to come his way. He had met the...
Funny Jokes - Silicon Valley Puns Crisco: A person who got fried by buying Cisco at $80 a share. Luddate: Someone you are going out with who does not...
