Needing to shed a few pounds, my wife and I went on a diet that had specific recipes for each meal of the day. We followed the instructions closely, dividing...
Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade named: BOOK BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits,...
A blonde female police officer pulls over a blonde gal in a convertible sports car for speeding. She walks up to the car and asks the blonde for her driver's...
Archaeologists were digging in Norway. They discovered a large statue of the Norse god Thor. The statue had two large gemstones for eyes. Such a statue had...
THE TITHE A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly, ...
Little Susie, a six-year-old, came home from school whining, "Mommy, I've got a stomachache." "That's because your stomach is empty," her mother replied. ...
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting...
A String walks into a bar A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The...
There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back. Upon...
A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning. His friend remarked that he had gone to...
Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. He was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a three-man business. ...
A little boy was waiting on his mother to come out of a store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the post office...
On his way to work, a driver swerved to avoid a box that fell from a truck. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. But another...
Shopping with Gramma A young boy went to the store with his grandmother. On the way home, he looked at the items she had purchased. He found a package of panty...
Mr. Swiller was known far and wide as a hard-nosed boss who watched his employees like a hawk. He was making one of his regular tours of the factory when he...
The coed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she cried. "I did? What did I tell you?" asked the dad. "You...
WHAT FLORIDA IS ALL ABOUT ... Phyllis and Mort, a retired couple from New York City, living in Boca Raton, are getting ready to go out to dinner. Phyllis says,...
Nominated as the best short joke this year. . . A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom", he asked, "are these my brains?" ...
After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy godmother. "Make three wishes,"...
The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was crowded with fans watching a sporting event on television. The harried waitress took our order, but more...
A couple goes for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and orders the "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast-iron pot. Just as the...
Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right. ...
Funny Jokes - Outsourcing President Bush doesn't want to fund the road construction bill, saying it is too expensive. He's looking at possible outsourcing -...
Funny Jokes - These Boots are made for Walking Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? ...
The Pope & Golf... Shortly after the Pope had apologized to the Jewish People for the treatment of Jews by the Catholic Church over the years, Ariel Sharon,...
Funny Jokes - Picture of a Ghost A photographer went to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost which was said to appear only once in a hundred...
I was listening to a lady who called a radio pastor. The pastor was a wise, grandfatherly gentleman who has that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear....
An elephant was drinking at a watering hole when a turtle approached. The elephant looked at the turtle for a minute and then gave it a swift kick. The turtle...
A paperboy said to a customer one day, "Mr. Smith, I wish I had twenty customers like you." "Gosh, that's nice to hear," said Smith, "but I'm kind of surprised...
