Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbled across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best...
Setting off the alarm while passing through a metal detector at McCarran Intl. Airport in Las Vegas, a blonde traveler was asked by a security agent if she had...
I called the local newspaper's classified section to complain about an ad I'd placed. It was obvious the person who took my information had never spent any...
Problems from the start John got off the elevator on the 50th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was as beautiful and...
WORLD WAR III IS COMING ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Bush and Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Rumsfeld sitting...
Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars....
NEW YORK - Sometimes it takes only a word, or just a few, to become immortalized in television history. The TV Land cable network has compiled a list of the...
One evening Ole and Sven are sitting in the bar getting drunk. Ole turns to Sven and asks, "Ven do you suppose dose girls are gonna make out vit us?" Sven...
New Year Resolutions for Pets 15. I will not eat other animals' poop. 14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop. 13. I do not need to...
Happy New Year! Resolutions You Can Actually Keep... ... Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year and yet you never keep them? Here are some...
NEW WORDS FOR 2007: Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)!!! 1. BLAMESTORMING : Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline...
Bob and his wife, Lynda, live in Wisconsin. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of...
E-MAIL RESOLUTIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR I will try to figure out why I really need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve...
Southern Baptists John and Marie went to the same church. Marie went every Sunday and taught Sunday School. John went on Christmas and Easter and, once in a...
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John...
(From a Maryland resident to his senator) The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes , D (MD) Senate Office Building 309 Hart Washington DC, 20510 Dear Senator Sarbanes, ...
Alabama Hell Yes, We Have Electricity. Alaska 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! Arizona But It's A Dry Heat. Arkansas Lituracy Ain't Everythang. California By...
Dear Abby: A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two...
WEEK AT THE GYM: ONE WOMAN'S STORY Dear Diary. For my 50th birthday this year, my husband (the dear) purchased a week Of personal training at the local health...
My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace with that. I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium I will not eat large...
Never knock on Death's door: Ring the doorbell and run (he hates that). ... Well now, you see it's like this.... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the...
After serious & cautious consideration.....your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2007! It was a very hard decision to make. So try not...
Steve Martin: "You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither." Drew Carey: "Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless...
1078
Mathew Menard
matm22@...
Jan 8, 2007 8:22 pm
This is a joke I got from a readers digest a long time ago, and I thought I'd share it with all of you. 2 guys are walking one day and they find a mine shaft. ...
Positive thought for the day When you feel that nobody loves you, Nobody cares for you, Everyone is ignoring you, You should really ask yourself... Am I an...
"I suppose," snarled the leathery sargeant to the private, "that when you're discharged from the Army, you'll wait for me to die just so you can spit on my...
PARENT'S GLOSSARY OF KIDS KITCHEN TERMS APPETIZING: Anything advertised on TV. BOIL: The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic "Yuck" before a food...
As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the military base where he was working. Their chief complaint was that...
