A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming little farmhouse with a hand-lettered "For Sale" sign out front. After...
A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away....
A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back. He went out...
Two farmers were discussing their problems. Farmer Bill said, "I've got a couple of birds nesting in my horse's mane. I've tried to get rid of them. But they...
Dear Diary, Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy-efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the...
How to Place New Employees in a Proper Department Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two...
Little brother: What do I do now? Big brother: Throw the toilet paper in the toilet. Little brother: Like this? Big brother: Yeah. Little brother: Now what? ...
Two Wishes A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a...
Two friends signed up for college. When they looked at their schedules, the first friend noticed he had Logical Reasoning as a class. Not knowing what it was,...
Wild Ride! On my four-year-old daughter's first trip to Disneyland, she couldn't wait to get on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. As the car zoomed through the crazy...
1. He's a chiropractor, and she is a pain in the neck. 2. He's a funny old goat, and she's a great kidder. 3. He doesn't have a dollar, and she has no sense. ...
A family was on its way to the hospital where the 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy. During the ride, the teenager and her parents ...
"This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm going to tell you about both. "The...
An old Wild West fort is about to be attacked. The wily old general sends for his trusty Indian scout. "You must use all your thirty years of skill in trying...
Little Jordan was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside for a while when he came into the house and asked his, "Grandma, what...
While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face. As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, "Are you hurt?" "No, I'm...
Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur...
Some "Senior" personal ads seen in Florida and Arizona newspapers: FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim,5'-4" (used to be 5-6), ...
Because of a minor infraction, a shipmate of mine aboard the USS Reeves, bound for Japan, was busted one rank, fined and given extra duty for three weeks....
At the Boeing Museum of Flight in Seattle, there is a full-size mockup of an F/A-18 fighter. A ramp allows visitors to climb into the cockpit and get a sense...
During the second Gulf War, I was an Air Force colonel. I routinely flew on different aircraft to familiarize myself with their capabilities. One day I was...
After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores he picks up a...
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end....
The Bathtub Test It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During a visit to the mental asylum,...
I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my wife. As the clerk was putting the finishing touches on the bouquet, a young man burst through...
Fred, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper. After a long day of meetings, they were...
St. Peter is very busy in Heaven, so he leaves a sign by the Pearly Gates: "For Service Ring Bell." Away he goes; he barely gets started when BING! the bell...
Gun Jokes A little boy ran home from school on the first day and pestered his mother into taking him into a toy shop. When they got there he insisted that she...
Many years ago a farmer couple gave birth to a son. They named him "Odd." When Odd began going to school all of his classmates teased him because of his name....
One year at Thanksgiving my Mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She...
