Oh There's No Place Like Home Oh, there's no place like home for the holidays 'Cause no matter how far away you roam When you pine for the sunshine Of a...
Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?" "No," the second guy says. "Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says. ...
I like this idea. Spread the word. WHAT A GREAT IDEA! TRY TO MARK YOUR CALENDARS TO REMIND YOURSELF TO PARTICIPATE. This is coming early (really early) so that...
A Teenager Is... ...someone who can't remember to walk the dog each day but never forgets a phone number he heard once. ...a weight watcher who goes on a diet...
A scientist named Walter invented a shrinking ray. He tried it on himself, and it worked. Unfortunately he couldn't reverse the process, and he was stuck being...
Food to leave out for Santa Claus On Christmas Eve, this is what I would like you to leave out (not all of them but some): Barley sugar sweets for me to...
Sorry I was Never Enough..."To all the girls who look past nice guys". I'm sorry That I bought you roses To tell you that I like you I'm sorry That I was...
On Christmas Eve, a young boy with light in his eyes Looked deep into Santa's, to Santa's surprise And said as he sat on Santa's broad knee, "I want your...
You Know You Grew Up In The 80's or Early 90's If: 1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word SIKE . 2. You watched the Pound Puppies. 3. You can sing the...
The month before Christmas! ... http://groups.yahoo.com/group/funny-jokes/ http://quotesexchange.home.worldnet.att.net/ http://www.quotescentral.com/ ...
Holiday Eating Tips (not to be taken seriously...especially if you're a 12 Stepper or Diabetic, but it's funny!) 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts...
(This sailor could be from any country. Made ME cry because this is my grandson, tho' he's under the water for months on end. When he sleeps, he has to pick...
My first stop on my vacation was my sister's house in Montana. She's extremely organized. Before she leaves on a trip, she always types up address labels for...
* 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear? * 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are * 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home...
It's one day after Christmas I'm crabby and I'm broke. I'm so full of ham and fruitcake I think I'm gonna croak. It's nice to see the relatives I wonder when...
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Claim: The character 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' was created for the Montgomery Ward group of department stores. Status:...
Unexplained Laundry Mysteries from Lisa Barker Why is it that my kids need me to wash their favorite sweatshirt or jeans five days a -week, but if I left it...
Hiding in the Shadows .¤˜~º°‹§›¤·.,¸¸,.¤˜~º°‹§›¤·.,¸¸,.¤˜~º°‹§›¤·. In life sometimes we lose our place, And in our hearts...
As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to be very quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so no one will know they are there....
Two blondes went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree. After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one...
A man returns from Africa feeling ill. He visits his doctor, who immediately rushes the guy to the Mayo Clinic. The man wakes up to the ringing of a telephone...
During the first day of Hanukkah, two elderly Jewish men were sitting in a wonderful deli frequented almost exclusively by Jews in New York City. They were...
The game show contestant was only 200 points behind the leader and was about to answer the final question -- worth 500 points! "To be today's champion," the...
Which Holiday Relative Are You? Please circle the letter that best describes your response. 1. When dinner is served, what do you say? A. Is the turkey done?...
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ...
God's Boxes I have in my hands two boxes, Which God gave me to hold. He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box, And all your joys in the gold." I heeded...
