Hi Alan,<br><br>I'm not quite sure what you meant
by a play on words. I'm curious what did I say? In
answer to your question I'm not seeking change but God
has kept me away from going back to that lifestyle
for many years. I wish to encourage others who may be
discouraged with trying.<br><br>God Bless,<br>Lukup

I was actually replying to a reply (Msg 315) from YoungAmerican01<br><br>Sorry
for the confusion.<br><br>He seemed to be making a play on words on Msg 309 (by
danoflvnvusa)<br><br><br>-- Alan

HI,<br>I became a Christian about 8 months ago
after studying for about a year with a close friend. I
have struggled with my sexuality almost all of my
life. I am in my early 30's and after studying God's
Word I understand now that Homosexuality is
unacceptable to Him. As I write this I feel about as bad as I
ever have. Since the time of becoming a New Creation
In Christ I have had sex 6 times. I am not clear on
how to control or deal with the urges. I have read
the X-Gay books and understand the whys,hows and so
on. I know because of my very abusive Dad why I am
this way. I was not born gay but rather grew up very
confused.In a perfect world I could choose to pull these
desires out of me and be rid of them. So for right now I
struggle to keep ahold of my feelings of low self worth
and a really bad self-image. The depth of guilt that
I feel for having allowed myself to engage in these
bahaviors overwhelms me. I cry at night wondering if the
Father will cut off our relationship due to my continued
poor choices. I know that the scripitures talk about
the path to losing your salvation and it is possable.
I take great delight in becoming a Christian and
this is the greatest high of my life. However, my
sexuality is going to ruin me unless I can get on soild
ground. If there is any advice or suggestions I could
really use a friend right now.<br>Thanks for listening!

SH:<br><br>Thank you for sharing your feelings. I
know this must seem like a terrifying time in your
life. My suggestion to you (and all others in this
situation) is to find fact-to-face accountbility. If you are
able to find an ex-gay group near your area,
WONDERFUL! (Check my website, under "Links", for ideas.) or
post your approximae location and I will post
suggestions here for you. <br><br>Also, try to find a Godly
leader (pastor, men's leader, etc.) in your church who
God leads you to confide in. He can then hold you
accountable. <br><br>Do not simply suffer through this alone.
Find someone who you can lean on and help you through
this.<br><br>In Him,<br><br>-- Alan (Club Founder)

It was indeed a play on words. I guess that I
believe that most of the unacceptable actions described
by the original post (Msg 309) would not be deemed
unacceptable (a) for heterosexuals and (b) for males in other
cultures. Thus it seems to me that it should not be
unacceptable behaviour for gays. I also believe that the post
makes it seem as if gays who are comfortable with their
homosexuality have a need to be "in your face" with it. I am
gay and know many gay people and none of the gays
that I know are "in your face" with it. I also wanted
to point out that it seems bizarre to ask some one
to act straight. Some heterosexual men are
effeminate, some gay men are effiminate. Would you ask a
straight effeminate male to act more masculine? It makes
no sense.<br><br>I was previously seeking change but
have recently been transformed by Christ in a way that
I did not expect and in a way that I did not pray
for. God brought me to a new church and to new
Christian friends who are loving of all people, including
gays. Through prayer and Bible reading and through my
minister, Christ has shown me that I am fine exactly the
way I am. Christ loves me, leads me, and I am His
servant. Christ has shown me that I need to embrace my
homosexuality. Once I understood this, I realized that my
homosexuality is the greatest gift that God has given me. I am
so thankful to Him. And in giving in to His command,
I am free and more whole than ever. In return for
this gift, I am bound to bear witness for Christ's
redemptive power and love.<br><br>I realize that this
discussion group is for the support of ex-gays and I am no
longer seeking change. I respect you for what you feel
you need to do. I hope that my posts are not
offensive to you but that they offer a different
perspective from a fellow Christian. I expect that we all
seek the Truth. I only post so that you all have
another perspective: that of a gay man who is thankful to
God for his gift of homosexuality.

Hey Guys,<br><br>I am interested in emailing
other guys dealing with SSA so if you are male living
in Aotearoa/New Zealand, Australia or the Pacific
and are interested in direct email contact - my
address is on my profile...Drop me a note!!<br><br>Kia
Kaha<br><br>Philip

I wanted to expand upon my last posting a little
bit. As I was attempting to change from being gay,
some things in the theories of the origin of
homosexuality didn't ring true for me. I am masculine and have
had excellent relationships with both of my parents.
I wasn't more oriented towards my mother than my
father. My father and I had an excellent relationship
throughout my childhood; indeed, we were very close. When I
got to my junior year of high school we did start to
have some problems - my rebellion to his ways. As I
see it know, it was mostly because we were so close
that I felt a need to break away. We have moved beyond
this now and again have an excellent relationship.
<br><br>From my elementary years on, I have loved playing
football and soccer. One of my favorite memories of
elementary school is getting to the school yard early in the
morning and playing "kill the man" before classes
started. I have never felt the envy that so many ex-gays
have experienced while growing up. I was never
molested.<br><br>I guess that I take issue with the giving up of my
feminine traits as many ex-gay organizations recommend.
For example, an ex-gay emailed me after viewing my
picture on my yahoo profile and told me that it would be
better for me to not to enjoy flowers. In my picture, I
am holding a wildflower that I picked in a field. I
don't understand why enjoying God's gifts (in this case
a wildflower) would be a prerequisite for changing
my gayness. It seems that if I were to do not enjoy
and rejoice in the whole of His creation I would not
be praising His glory. I love music, plays,
musicals, plants, food, wine, and life, and even flowers.
Now that I love all of God's gifts, I feel more whole
than ever.

Hey man, you have made probably the hardest step
to want to do somthing about it. You have to get
yourself away from the situations that give you access to
sex. Are you meet the sex partners on the internet,
crusing spots or where.. You have to do somthing to
distance you from your weakness. For example: an alcohlic
is not going to go to a bar, if they have jsut
gotten sober. Later maybe will gp ONCE THEY HAVE BE COME
STRONGER. Email me or if you have yahoo messenger send me a
message that way..<br><br>Good luck..<br>Daniel

I believe you have been deceived. The bible is
quite clear on any kind of sexual behavior outside of
the marriage of a man and woman is sin. Anyone
(pastor or not) who tells you otherwise is
deceived.<br><br>I pray that you continue to seek God and see what
his Truth clearly says on this topic.

YOu are right when you say you do not fit the
"typical" profile. Many others are in your same situation.
<br><br>I also disagree with the well-meaning advice to
"not enjoy flowers." This seems silly and unfounded.
<br><br>Anyway, regardless of how the homosexual desires came
into your life, God's desires for all his children are
clear in the Bible. Homosexual behavior is a sin.
Temptation itself is not a sin (even Jesus was tempted). It
is our actions and our heart that are most
important. God wants you to become more like him.
<br><br>Godliness is what is most important for you to emulate, not
some worldly view of "Machismo." <br><br>I pray that
you will not give up your search for healing.
Obviously God is tugging at your heart since you still
frequent this site ;-)<br><br>May God Bless you in your
search,<br><br>-- Alan

Someone has suggested that depression is the
opposite of expression. I may be guilty of
over-simplifying this idea (and, I'm sure, the causes of
depression), but experience seems to bear out that we do sink
into periods of nagging sadness when we aren't able to
express ourselves on matters important to us. And if this
is true in general, how much more true is it--how
much more often does this kind of thing occur--when
the unexpressed issue is homosexuality? <br><br>My
story is likely not unique, but I have been prevented
from knowing that because it is so difficult to share.
Male friends I've had who have not faced this issue
personally seem to be inevitably alienated by it in various
ways and to varying degrees, despite their
well-meaning assurances to me that they can handle my talking
about it with them. And, candidly, I understand all too
well that the very nature of the struggle itself can
make such close sharing an emotional
minefield.<br><br>Obviously, I suppose, everyone who visits this discussion
board has an interest in "expressions" of this kind,
but if anyone has a particular interest in exchanging
your story via email or in swapping email and really
exploring different facets of what it means to live for
Christ in either the wake or the war of homosexual
desire, please write. I've tried talking to friends, I've
been to counseling, and while both have had their
benefits, I often still feel like I've always been alone in
my fight. <br><br>Is this true for anyone else?

No sin is beyond redemption. God will not abandon
you. He loves all of His children no matter what.
Focusing on what you percieve to be your failures will
only cause you pain and that pain is caused by your
fear. Such pain will keep you from God not because He
turns His back on you, but because by focusing on your
own sin, you don't keep Him central. Keep your eyes
forward and upward on Christ. We all stumble everyday and
Christ still loves us, all of us. Focus on God and He
will smile on you. He will forgive you your sins and
you need to forgive your sins as well.

Insightful!<br><br>I know I use this site as my own form of therapeutic
expression. Most non-ex-gays are very uncomfortable talking about the issue.
<br><br>--Alan (Site Founder)

Insightful!<br><br>I know I use this site as my own form of therapeutic
expression. Most non-ex-gays are very uncomfortable talking about the issue.
<br><br>--Alan (Site Founder)

Insightful!<br><br>I know I use this site as my own form of therapeutic
expression. Most non-ex-gays are very uncomfortable talking about the issue.
<br><br>--Alan (Site Founder)

If you have ever had gay sex and now obstain, do
you believe that you are damned? If not, then you do
believe that God has forgiven your sins.<br><br>It is not
helpful for people with compulsions to believe that God
hates them for falling. God loves them always. Period.
A person needs to pick themselves up, dust
themselves off, ask for forgiveness and try again. Dwelling
on the guilt associated with the fall only leads to
pain and isolation. This is NOT God's wish for anyone.
God is Love. Christ died for all sins.

If you have ever had gay sex and now obstain, do
you believe that you are damned? If not, then you do
believe that God has forgiven your sins.<br><br>It is not
helpful for people with compulsions to believe that God
hates them for falling. God loves them always. Period.
A person needs to pick themselves up, dust
themselves off, ask for forgiveness and try again. Dwelling
on the guilt associated with the fall only leads to
pain and isolation. This is NOT God's wish for anyone.
God is Love. Christ died for all sins.

If you have ever had gay sex and now obstain, do
you believe that you are damned? If not, then you do
believe that God has forgiven your sins.<br><br>It is not
helpful for people with compulsions to believe that God
hates them for falling. God loves them always. Period.
A person needs to pick themselves up, dust
themselves off, ask for forgiveness and try again. Dwelling
on the guilt associated with the fall only leads to
pain and isolation. This is NOT God's wish for anyone.
God is Love. Christ died for all sins.

Hi Everyone,<br>I recieved replies to my posting
from both sides of the coin. I was going to talk about
my opinion in depth regarding sexuality and
acting-out against scripitures. However, here is what I need
and I put it out there with great hopes. I need to
hear from a mature Christian man whom I can talk to
and establish a friendship with. I need to share my
accountability with someone if I am going to "overcome" this. I
just cannot do this alone and I will not turn to
anyone in my church. Tears are in my eyes as I think
about this because it is not what God wants for me or
anyone. I rarely ask for help from another person but
this time I am asking. I guess the person I am looking
for will have overcome the issue of Homosexuality
himself and be well versed in the scripitures. Thank you
so much for listening and I eagerly await your
reply.

Hi,<br><br>I'm a first year film student in the
UK. I'm a lesbian and I out amd proud. I, as a Roman
Catholic believe everyone should be treated equal and with
the respect they deserve. I am not here to preach to
any of you. You all have your opinions. I in exchange
would not like to be preached too either.<br>I was
wondering though if I could ask any of you who are
interested in helping me with some research for a project
I'm doing. All I want is your story (you can be
annonymous if you like) via e-mail. How you decided you were
gay, what kind of experiences you had and why you
decided to lead a heterosexual life instead. I am
particularly interested in those who have been to a homosexual
'rehabilitation camp'.<br><br>All work will be for reseach
purposes only and will be kept confidential.<br><br>Thank
you for your
time.<br><br>Emma<br>Harbingerz@... <br><br>(please send via
e-mail, all stories
etc...)

Hi,<br><br>I'm a first year film student in the
UK. I'm a lesbian and I out amd proud. I, as a Roman
Catholic believe everyone should be treated equal and with
the respect they deserve. I am not here to preach to
any of you. You all have your opinions. I in exchange
would not like to be preached too either.<br>I was
wondering though if I could ask any of you who are
interested in helping me with some research for a project
I'm doing. All I want is your story (you can be
annonymous if you like) via e-mail. How you decided you were
gay, what kind of experiences you had and why you
decided to lead a heterosexual life instead. I am
particularly interested in those who have been to a homosexual
'rehabilitation camp'.<br><br>All work will be for reseach
purposes only and will be kept confidential.<br><br>Thank
you for your
time.<br><br>Emma<br>Harbingerz@... <br><br>(please send via
e-mail, all stories
etc...)

Hi,<br><br>I'm a first year film student in the
UK. I'm a lesbian and I out amd proud. I, as a Roman
Catholic believe everyone should be treated equal and with
the respect they deserve. I am not here to preach to
any of you. You all have your opinions. I in exchange
would not like to be preached too either.<br>I was
wondering though if I could ask any of you who are
interested in helping me with some research for a project
I'm doing. All I want is your story (you can be
annonymous if you like) via e-mail. How you decided you were
gay, what kind of experiences you had and why you
decided to lead a heterosexual life instead. I am
particularly interested in those who have been to a homosexual
'rehabilitation camp'.<br><br>All work will be for reseach
purposes only and will be kept confidential.<br><br>Thank
you for your
time.<br><br>Emma<br>Harbingerz@... <br><br>(please send via
e-mail, all stories
etc...)

Hi,<br><br>I'm a first year film student in the
UK. I'm a lesbian and I out amd proud. I, as a Roman
Catholic believe everyone should be treated equal and with
the respect they deserve. I am not here to preach to
any of you. You all have your opinions. I in exchange
would not like to be preached too either.<br>I was
wondering though if I could ask any of you who are
interested in helping me with some research for a project
I'm doing. All I want is your story (you can be
annonymous if you like) via e-mail. How you decided you were
gay, what kind of experiences you had and why you
decided to lead a heterosexual life instead. I am
particularly interested in those who have been to a homosexual
'rehabilitation camp'.<br><br>All work will be for reseach
purposes only and will be kept confidential.<br><br>Thank
you for your
time.<br><br>Emma<br>Harbingerz@... <br><br>(please send via
e-mail, all stories
etc...)

Hi,<br><br>I'm a first year film student in the
UK. I'm a lesbian and I out amd proud. I, as a Roman
Catholic believe everyone should be treated equal and with
the respect they deserve. I am not here to preach to
any of you. You all have your opinions. I in exchange
would not like to be preached too either.<br>I was
wondering though if I could ask any of you who are
interested in helping me with some research for a project
I'm doing. All I want is your story (you can be
annonymous if you like) via e-mail. How you decided you were
gay, what kind of experiences you had and why you
decided to lead a heterosexual life instead. I am
particularly interested in those who have been to a homosexual
'rehabilitation camp'.<br><br>All work will be for reseach
purposes only and will be kept confidential.<br><br>Thank
you for your
time.<br><br>Emma<br>Harbingerz@... <br><br>(please send via
e-mail, all stories
etc...)

Hi,<br><br>I'm a first year film student in the
UK. I'm a lesbian and I out amd proud. I, as a Roman
Catholic believe everyone should be treated equal and with
the respect they deserve. I am not here to preach to
any of you. You all have your opinions. I in exchange
would not like to be preached too either.<br>I was
wondering though if I could ask any of you who are
interested in helping me with some research for a project
I'm doing. All I want is your story (you can be
annonymous if you like) via e-mail. How you decided you were
gay, what kind of experiences you had and why you
decided to lead a heterosexual life instead. I am
particularly interested in those who have been to a homosexual
'rehabilitation camp'.<br><br>All work will be for reseach
purposes only and will be kept confidential.<br><br>Thank
you for your
time.<br><br>Emma<br>Harbingerz@... <br><br>(please send via
e-mail, all stories
etc...)

Hi,<br><br>I'm a first year film student in the
UK. I'm a lesbian and I out amd proud. I, as a Roman
Catholic believe everyone should be treated equal and with
the respect they deserve. I am not here to preach to
any of you. You all have your opinions. I in exchange
would not like to be preached too either.<br>I was
wondering though if I could ask any of you who are
interested in helping me with some research for a project
I'm doing. All I want is your story (you can be
annonymous if you like) via e-mail. How you decided you were
gay, what kind of experiences you had and why you
decided to lead a heterosexual life instead. I am
particularly interested in those who have been to a homosexual
'rehabilitation camp'.<br><br>All work will be for reseach
purposes only and will be kept confidential.<br><br>Thank
you for your
time.<br><br>Emma<br>Harbingerz@... <br><br>(please send via
e-mail, all stories
etc...)

Hi,<br><br>I'm a first year film student in the
UK. I'm a lesbian and I out amd proud. I, as a Roman
Catholic believe everyone should be treated equal and with
the respect they deserve. I am not here to preach to
any of you. You all have your opinions. I in exchange
would not like to be preached too either.<br>I was
wondering though if I could ask any of you who are
interested in helping me with some research for a project
I'm doing. All I want is your story (you can be
annonymous if you like) via e-mail. How you decided you were
gay, what kind of experiences you had and why you
decided to lead a heterosexual life instead. I am
particularly interested in those who have been to a homosexual
'rehabilitation camp'.<br><br>All work will be for reseach
purposes only and will be kept confidential.<br><br>Thank
you for your
time.<br><br>Emma<br>Harbingerz@... <br><br>(please send via
e-mail, all stories
etc...)

Hi,<br><br>I'm a first year film student in the
UK. I'm a lesbian and I out amd proud. I, as a Roman
Catholic believe everyone should be treated equal and with
the respect they deserve. I am not here to preach to
any of you. You all have your opinions. I in exchange
would not like to be preached too either.<br>I was
wondering though if I could ask any of you who are
interested in helping me with some research for a project
I'm doing. All I want is your story (you can be
annonymous if you like) via e-mail. How you decided you were
gay, what kind of experiences you had and why you
decided to lead a heterosexual life instead. I am
particularly interested in those who have been to a homosexual
'rehabilitation camp'.<br><br>All work will be for reseach
purposes only and will be kept confidential.<br><br>Thank
you for your
time.<br><br>Emma<br>Harbingerz@... <br><br>(please send via
e-mail, all stories
etc...)

Hi,<br><br>I'm a first year film student in the
UK. I'm a lesbian and I out amd proud. I, as a Roman
Catholic believe everyone should be treated equal and with
the respect they deserve. I am not here to preach to
any of you. You all have your opinions. I in exchange
would not like to be preached too either.<br>I was
wondering though if I could ask any of you who are
interested in helping me with some research for a project
I'm doing. All I want is your story (you can be
annonymous if you like) via e-mail. How you decided you were
gay, what kind of experiences you had and why you
decided to lead a heterosexual life instead. I am
particularly interested in those who have been to a homosexual
'rehabilitation camp'.<br><br>All work will be for reseach
purposes only and will be kept confidential.<br><br>Thank
you for your
time.<br><br>Emma<br>Harbingerz@... <br><br>(please send via
e-mail, all stories
etc...)

Hi,<br><br>I'm a first year film student in the
UK. I'm a lesbian and I out amd proud. I, as a Roman
Catholic believe everyone should be treated equal and with
the respect they deserve. I am not here to preach to
any of you. You all have your opinions. I in exchange
would not like to be preached too either.<br>I was
wondering though if I could ask any of you who are
interested in helping me with some research for a project
I'm doing. All I want is your story (you can be
annonymous if you like) via e-mail. How you decided you were
gay, what kind of experiences you had and why you
decided to lead a heterosexual life instead. I am
particularly interested in those who have been to a homosexual
'rehabilitation camp'.<br><br>All work will be for reseach
purposes only and will be kept confidential.<br><br>Thank
you for your
time.<br><br>Emma<br>Harbingerz@... <br><br>(please send via
e-mail, all stories
etc...)