Good Guys,
This week, after watching an interview between Puerto Rican singer Ricky
Martin and Oprah Winfrey regarding his decision to come out as a gay
man, I began to wonder about the impact such decisions have on people
who struggle with same-sex attraction.  So, that's the focus of this
week's post, called Drop the Cymbal Before the World Goes Deaf.
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/11/drop-cymbal-before-wo\
rld-goes-deaf.html>
I hope you'll read it and let me know what you think.  Here's a
paragraph from this week's post.
Unfortunately, we often don't know religious from righteous,
Christianity from churchianity; hope from a hole-in-the-ground, mercy
from meanness, forgiveness from forget it, love from leave.  We teach
restoration, redemption and rescue. And then we run from the reaching.
Cue Oprah.

God Bless,
Thomhttp://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Good Guys,
Happy Tuesday!  I pray that you have felt the closeness of God today and
His great concern and love for you and desire to set you free. I was
thinking about that today as I wrote the blog post:  Are You Hiding in
Your Furnace?
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/11/are-you-hiding-in-you\
r-furnace.html>    I'd be interested in your reaction.  Here's a
paragraph from the post:
"I think sometimes strugglers can become so accustomed to the heat that
they cannot feel the nice cool breeze of change when it comes. We make
pillows from the ashes of defeat and rest our heads and close our eyes
and fake a cheaper peace. "I am okay with who I am. God made me this
way." And the breeze -- instead of ushering in hope -- begins to suck
the life out of us. We wanted a hurricane, powerful enough to collapse
all the places we had built inside in which we hide. We wanted a mighty
wave to sweep the landscape clean from shore to shore, but instead,
we're stuck with the broken stubbles that cling to the barren ground and
make us look . . . so broken."
Read more at http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/>
   <http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/> God Bless,
Thom


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Last week I was listening to a sermon on a Christian radio station while in my
car. I'm pretty sure that it was Chip Ingram from out of California. He was
talking about his middle-school aged son, and how there was a major sin in his
life for which he would not repent. After a long series of draconian punishments
he sat his son down and told him that this was serious and something had to be
done. The son tearfully told his father, "I'm sorry. I can't help myself."

(We can all pretty well guess as to what this thirteen or fourteen-year-old boy
was dealing with.) This was the pastor of a large church. To shame that kid in
front of that huge congregation was inexcusable! The pastor went on to tell the
congegation how he took his son to a gym to illustrate to hime the dynamics of
body building by working a different group of muscles every day. And the same
thing can be applied to spiritual body building. by working on different
strengths of the spirit every day. As he went on in detail I became so angry
that I turned of the radio. When I got home I looked up the redio station's
website to learn that this sermon was preached five years ago. so to write this
pastor a letter at this late date would be a moot issue. For many years I was in
a 12 Step program, Sex Addict Annonymous. And I'd venture to say that most of
the people who were in that fellowship had grown up in religeous home, either
Evangelical Christian, or strict Catholic, where their childhood and adoloscent
sexuallity was harshly dealt with. So I've seen the fruits of this kind of
upbringing. Had this been a recent sermon I would have probably written this
pastor a letter that would have read something like this:

Dear Pastor:

I heard your sermon on the radio today and needless to say, I'm appalled! As if
you draconian punishments that you subjected that boy through weren't enough,
you had to publicly humiliate him in front of your church like that! You
couldn't have left that boy alone and let him go through his natural course of
development. But no! You had to impose a superficial "spiritual growth workout
program" and thing that would correct the situation. Well, here are the fruits
of your imposed piety, which The Apostle Paul calls "Whitewashed walls." That
boy is going to pleasure himself to the point of emotional, and even physical
injury. He's going to turn to pornography. Later on he will be spending hundres
of dollars at adult bookstores and sex clubs. From there he will be visiting
prostitutes. His marriage or marriages will become very dysfunctional, if he
ever marries at all! His behavior will cost him not only financially, but it
will cost him property, jobs, relationships, conflicts with the law. And don't
think that he won't turn his sexual behavior to men, or even children. Is that
the future that you want for your son? I hope you got what you wanted. Are you
staisfied?

Good Guys,
Be of good cheer!
Our post-fall life is not limited to lamentations. God is not like the
doctor who pats your leg as he sits beside your bed and solemnly says:
"There's nothing more we can do." God is never outdone by the disorder
of our lives. When we cry out for healing, we can hear "yes," from God
if we are willing to say "no" to the world and the paralysis of
brokenness. And then get up and walk.  Read more at
http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/11/if-youre-healing-and-y\
ou-know-it.html
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/11/if-youre-healing-and-\
you-know-it.html>

God Bless,

Thomhttp://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/11/if-youre-healing-a\
nd-you-know-it.html
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/11/if-youre-healing-and-\
you-know-it.html>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I cannot tell you Paul how very much I appreciate this extraordinary posting
you have contributed to the group!  I am very moved and so deeply touched by
the way you've expressed your struggle and continued hope in the healing
process.  There is much I'm sure I could learn from you and the painful
struggle we go through and the quest for wholeness and healing.  I
personally am struggling with problems on the internet and what is so
available without restrictions.  The havoc it plays with a person's mind is
a real struggle to keep my thoughts from "going there" where I know they
should not be.  I only wish I had the support you've found in others you
have in your life to support you and be available to just talk to.  I only
wish I could know you personally.  Thanks again and God bless you.

Neil
----- Original Message -----
From: "Paul Gaetani" <paulgaetani@...>
To: "Paul V. Gaetani" <paulgaetani@...>
Sent: Wednesday, November 17, 2010 8:58 AM
Subject: [ExGDBd] Then and now...


>
> I have been speaking with a counselor for almost a year now.  I thought it
> would be a good idea to compare and contrast "then" and "now".
>
> 20 years ago, I came home late one night (or early one morning) to find my
> dad waiting up for me.  He had received a phone call from the mother of a
> man that I had sex with who was drunk and proceeded to tell my dad that I
> was a faggot, going to hell, that he shouldn't use the same toilet that I
> use or he would get AIDS, etc.  He asked me if it did have sex with men,
> telling me that if I did, he would still love me and we would be able to
> work through it.  I lied and told him it was not true.
>
> Earlier this year, the night before my birthday, I read a letter to my dad
> that I had written telling him of my struggles with same sex attraction,
> asking for his support.  He took my into his arms, told me that he loved
> me, and that we would get through this together.  He has been by my side
> and backing me up ever since.
>
> 10 years ago, I was in the middle of a 5 year relationship with a
> wonderful man.  We first met for just a hook up, but kept coming back to
> each other.  Bob was smart, successful, good looking, faithful, and head
> over heels in love with me.  When I told him that I wanted to end the
> relationship because I could not have both fellowship with God and a
> relationship with him, he said, "Are you sure about this?  I know for as
> long as I live, I will never find anybody that I will love as much as I
> love you."
>
> Earlier this year, I met another wonderful man.  My friend Darrell.  This
> man loves me unconditionally.  He knows about my struggles and thinks that
> I am 'heroic' for doing the work needed to overcome.  He allows me to be
> myself, and he is completely open and honest, allowing himself to be
> vulnerable and open with me.  He has said to me, "I will do whatever you
> need me to do to help you heal."
>
> 5 years ago, after most of my family move away, I began acting out again.
> Not often, but more than I had since ending my relationship with Bob and
> participating in an Exodus International group.  It concerned me, and I
> was vaguely aware that it was somehow related to the fact that my family
> had moved away, as well as the Exodus group moving further away from where
> I was living at the time.
>
> This year, I have not acted out once with a man that I can remember.  What
> a wonderful thing to not be able to remember when the last time was.
> Honestly, it is possible that I did act out with a man in January, before
> or shortly after starting my weekly discussions with my counselor, but if
> so, it was the one and only time I acted out this  year with a man.
>
> 1 year ago, I was in the darkest period of my life.  I was acting out with
> regularity.  I was obsessive about acting out.  I would get up in the
> morning and within 5 minutes I would be online, logged into hook up sites,
> looking at pornography, trying to orchestrate a hook up.  I was
> masturbating so much, my penis was raw.  I would masturbate and tell
> myself I was done, that I would not do it again, and within 20 minutes I
> would be looking at porn, chatting online and starting the vicious cycle
> again.
>
> Today, I am a different man.  Today, I can count on one hand the number of
> times I have masturbated in the past 6 months, and not once was homosexual
> fantasy involved.  Today, I can say that it has been over 6 months since I
> looked at any pornography.  Today, I look at men and I do not burn, I do
> not ache with desire and longing.  Today, I am well on the way to becoming
> the man that God created me to be.  When I began my counseling at the
> beginning of this year, I had hopes  that I would be able to get my
> behavior under control, that I would somehow be able to manage the urges
> to be sexually active with men.  Today, I no longer experience those
> urges.  Today I have the tools to understand when I feel a charge or
> attraction, there is something going on inside me that requires my
> attention, and that I if make the effort to deal with that in a healthy
> fashion, I defuse the charge. Today I understand that I have healthy,
> God-given emotional needs to be accepted as a man among men
> , and that if I take care of those emotional needs, I do not need to give
> place to my shadow, who will seek to meet those needs in unhealthy ways.
> Today, I wake up in the morning and I am happy to be alive, happy to be
> me, and happy to see what God has in store for my future.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Questions about the group?  Contact our Director & Founder, Alan Levering,
> directly at: ncxds@...
>
> The Ex-Gay Discussion Board is a ministry of NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet
> Christian Ministries
>
> MINISTRY LINKS!! Feel free to link to these pages on your own website:
>
> Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> | Discussion Board:
> <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard> | Spanish Language
> Discussion Board: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa | "Wounded
> Heart" Abused Men's Group: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart> |
> Chat: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>

Good Guys,

There is no secret too buried . . . no past too dark . . . no confusion
too deep . . . no sin too ugly . . . no inner or outer fault so
distasteful that it is above the enduring and ever-present grace of God.
Nothing can separate us from our Father's love.




If you are like me, sometimes it's hard to believe that God loves us
that much, but He truly does, as I have discovered, and as has been
confirmed through sharing with and hearing from you for the past year or
so.  Thank you all for that.




I wanted to let you know that my new book, Surviving Sexual Brokenness:
What Grace Can Do, has been released by WestBow Press, a division of
Thomas Nelson. It's available on Amazon.com and pretty much everywhere.
I've posted the Introduction on my blog this week and I hope you'll go
there and read it and perhaps share a comment.




If you would like an autographed copy, it would be an honor to sign one
and send it to you. We've all been through a lot together. So, if you
would like your book autographed, be sure and use this link  --
http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/11/new-surviving-sexual-b\
rokenness-what.html
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/11/new-surviving-sexual-\
brokenness-what.html>  -- and order it right off of my blog. In the
ordering process, you'll see an opportunity to tell me for sure who you
want your book signed for. I'll get it out to you quickly.




I hope the book will be helpful and encouraging for you or for anyone
you know who is struggling with homosexuality, pornography or
heterosexual lust. We're all in this together, all seeking to overcome
through grace and forgiveness and the power of the Holy Spirit.




I love you in the Lord.




God Bless,

Thom Hunter

http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/>




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

The Gift of You

Don't forget to add these Emotional Gifts to your list for Holiday giving. They
cost nothing but are the most precious presents you can give to your friends and
family. These twelve gifts are-Gifts of You. They cost nothing but their effects
can last a lifetime.


1. 'The Gift of Time'- In our busy lives, the phrase, I don't have time, has
become a universal complaint. Most human relationships profit from a simple
tonic that is called Tincture of Time. A chatty phone call to an unhappy trend,
or a half-hour visit to an aunt who lives alone can mean a lot, but costs very
little.


2. 'The gift of good example' - Most people learn fundamental attitudes and
behavior by observing others. Be a good example by handling difficult situations
in a mature manner.


3. 'The gift of Acceptance'- Many problems between husband and wife or between
friends begin when one person tries to change the other to fit preconceived
notions. Did you know that people begin to shed bad habits once they are
accepted the way they are?


4. 'The gift of Seeing the best in people.' When we expect people to respond in
a positive way, they usually do. But you must let those you love know that you
expect the positive.


5. The gift of giving up a bad habit.-All of us have habits that annoy those we
love. What a great gift it would be if you could give up an unhappy or unhealthy
habit.


6. The gift of Teaching-Helping someone you love learn something new is an
important investment in their future happiness. Only by learning new skills can
we become fully alive.


7. The Gift of Listening-Few of us know how to listen effectively Learn to
listen without passing judgement.


8. 'The gift of fun'-There are people who 'wet blanket' the happiness of those
around them while others lead people into finding fun in ordinary events.


9. The gift of letting others give.- When we accept others gifts in a gracious
manner, we may be giving them one of the most important gifts of all. Remember
the joy you feel in giving is felt by others as well.


10. 'The gift of privacy'- Each of us has a need for companionship and also
privacy. Relinquish some of your natural curiosity occasionally and give those
you love the right to private thoughts and unshared feelings.


11. 'The gift of self-esteem'-Do not fail to recognize the praiseworthy
qualities and actions of those you love and sincerely tell them.


12. The gift of Self-Disclosure- Letting someone else discover more about you
can turn a relationship into something a flourishing one, sustain a healthy
friendship or marriage.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Bridget,
What great insight. You've provided the answers for anyone who thinks they just
don't have much to give. Apparently, we do . . . in abundance. And things that
will really matter for the long haul.
You've given me a lot to think about and act on. I think we all needed this
reminder.
Thanks!

Thom HunterAuthor of Surviving Sexual Brokenness: What Grace Can Do, WestBow
Press
Signs of a StruggleThe Weight of Who I Am


--- On Thu, 12/2/10, Bridget Night <BridgetNight123@...> wrote:

From: Bridget Night <BridgetNight123@...>
Subject: [ExGDBd] This Christmas-Give the gift of you!
To: Undisclosed-Recipient@...
Date: Thursday, December 2, 2010, 1:25 PM
















 















The Gift of You



Don't forget to add these Emotional Gifts to your list for Holiday giving. They
cost nothing but are the most precious presents you can give to your friends and
family. These twelve gifts are-Gifts of You. They cost nothing but their effects
can last a lifetime.



1. 'The Gift of Time'- In our busy lives, the phrase, I don't have time, has
become a universal complaint. Most human relationships profit from a simple
tonic that is called Tincture of Time. A chatty phone call to an unhappy trend,
or a half-hour visit to an aunt who lives alone can mean a lot, but costs very
little.



2. 'The gift of good example' - Most people learn fundamental attitudes and
behavior by observing others. Be a good example by handling difficult situations
in a mature manner.



3. 'The gift of Acceptance'- Many problems between husband and wife or between
friends begin when one person tries to change the other to fit preconceived
notions. Did you know that people begin to shed bad habits once they are
accepted the way they are?



4. 'The gift of Seeing the best in people.' When we expect people to respond in
a positive way, they usually do. But you must let those you love know that you
expect the positive.



5. The gift of giving up a bad habit.-All of us have habits that annoy those we
love. What a great gift it would be if you could give up an unhappy or unhealthy
habit.



6. The gift of Teaching-Helping someone you love learn something new is an
important investment in their future happiness. Only by learning new skills can
we become fully alive.



7. The Gift of Listening-Few of us know how to listen effectively Learn to
listen without passing judgement.



8. 'The gift of fun'-There are people who 'wet blanket' the happiness of those
around them while others lead people into finding fun in ordinary events.



9. The gift of letting others give.- When we accept others gifts in a gracious
manner, we may be giving them one of the most important gifts of all. Remember
the joy you feel in giving is felt by others as well.



10. 'The gift of privacy'- Each of us has a need for companionship and also
privacy. Relinquish some of your natural curiosity occasionally and give those
you love the right to private thoughts and unshared feelings.



11. 'The gift of self-esteem'-Do not fail to recognize the praiseworthy
qualities and actions of those you love and sincerely tell them.



12. The gift of Self-Disclosure- Letting someone else discover more about you
can turn a relationship into something a flourishing one, sustain a healthy
friendship or marriage.



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






























[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

You are welcome Thom. I really love these gift ideas and they are not all easy
to give sometimes, even thought they cost no money.
http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/ItemDetail.aspx?bookid=12053.



   ----- Original Message -----
   From: Thom Hunter
   To: Undisclosed-Recipient@... ; exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Thursday, December 02, 2010 2:34 PM
   Subject: Re: [ExGDBd] This Christmas-Give the gift of you!



   Bridget,
   What great insight. You've provided the answers for anyone who thinks they
just don't have much to give. Apparently, we do . . . in abundance. And things
that will really matter for the long haul.
   You've given me a lot to think about and act on. I think we all needed this
reminder.
   Thanks!

   Thom HunterAuthor of Surviving Sexual Brokenness: What Grace Can Do, WestBow
Press
   Signs of a StruggleThe Weight of Who I Am

   --- On Thu, 12/2/10, Bridget Night <BridgetNight123@...> wrote:

   From: Bridget Night <BridgetNight123@...>
   Subject: [ExGDBd] This Christmas-Give the gift of you!
   To: Undisclosed-Recipient@...
   Date: Thursday, December 2, 2010, 1:25 PM



   The Gift of You

   Don't forget to add these Emotional Gifts to your list for Holiday giving.
They cost nothing but are the most precious presents you can give to your
friends and family. These twelve gifts are-Gifts of You. They cost nothing but
their effects can last a lifetime.

   1. 'The Gift of Time'- In our busy lives, the phrase, I don't have time, has
become a universal complaint. Most human relationships profit from a simple
tonic that is called Tincture of Time. A chatty phone call to an unhappy trend,
or a half-hour visit to an aunt who lives alone can mean a lot, but costs very
little.

   2. 'The gift of good example' - Most people learn fundamental attitudes and
behavior by observing others. Be a good example by handling difficult situations
in a mature manner.

   3. 'The gift of Acceptance'- Many problems between husband and wife or between
friends begin when one person tries to change the other to fit preconceived
notions. Did you know that people begin to shed bad habits once they are
accepted the way they are?

   4. 'The gift of Seeing the best in people.' When we expect people to respond
in a positive way, they usually do. But you must let those you love know that
you expect the positive.

   5. The gift of giving up a bad habit.-All of us have habits that annoy those
we love. What a great gift it would be if you could give up an unhappy or
unhealthy habit.

   6. The gift of Teaching-Helping someone you love learn something new is an
important investment in their future happiness. Only by learning new skills can
we become fully alive.

   7. The Gift of Listening-Few of us know how to listen effectively Learn to
listen without passing judgement.

   8. 'The gift of fun'-There are people who 'wet blanket' the happiness of those
around them while others lead people into finding fun in ordinary events.

   9. The gift of letting others give.- When we accept others gifts in a gracious
manner, we may be giving them one of the most important gifts of all. Remember
the joy you feel in giving is felt by others as well.

   10. 'The gift of privacy'- Each of us has a need for companionship and also
privacy. Relinquish some of your natural curiosity occasionally and give those
you love the right to private thoughts and unshared feelings.

   11. 'The gift of self-esteem'-Do not fail to recognize the praiseworthy
qualities and actions of those you love and sincerely tell them.

   12. The gift of Self-Disclosure- Letting someone else discover more about you
can turn a relationship into something a flourishing one, sustain a healthy
friendship or marriage.

   [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

   [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Good Guys,
If you could erase a part of your past, what would get the great smudge?

I would erase the times I said "I will not fail again." I know the devil
smiled at that one, for though he could not have known for sure that I
would fail again, my claims of strength must have redoubled his efforts.
How he must love the little word "I." How he must rejoice (does the
devil rejoice?) at the longer word "again," when it is part of a vow, no
matter how intentionally intended.  "I" would smudge out the word "I"
and try never to write it again with the word "will." God wills.

I hope you'll visit the blog and read the latest post and share your
thoughts. It's at this link:
http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/12/for-things-we-cant-era\
se.html
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/12/for-things-we-cant-er\
ase.html>

God Bless,

Thom Hunterhttp://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Good Guys,

I would appreciate your prayers for my mother, Mary Ellen, as she is ill
and in the hospital in Dallas. I've gone to visit her, which means
instead up updating Signs of a Struggle this week, I chose one of my
favorite chapters from my new book, Surviving Sexual Brokenness: What
Grace Can Do.

The chapter is called
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/12/consequences-of-carel\
/%20ess-compassion.html> "The Consequences of Careless Compassion,"
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/12/consequences-of-carel\
ess-compassion.html>   and here's a paragraph from it. I hope you will
click the link and read the whole chapter:

Compassion is a gift from God that we can corrupt like everything else
He gives us. Oh . . . but when it is presented in its perfect form,
what healing takes place, what joy abounds, what grace flows and what
beauty springs forth from the dry desert, shocking those who view it,
like a brilliant and seemingly fragile butterfly that pauses on a
morning glory. Imagine, that little fluttering thing that looks like
tissue paper in flight can cross the continent and return again. It
looks weak, but it is strong because it has learned to manage the
currents and soar.

If you would like to order an autographed Surviving Sexual Brokenness
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/11/new-surviving-sexual-\
brokenness-what.html> , please click the link on the right side of the
blog.
The book is also available on  <http://amazon.com/>
<http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Sexual-Brokenness-What-Grace/dp/1449707\
/%20319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1291864941&sr=1-1> Amazon.com
<http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Sexual-Brokenness-What-Grace/dp/1449707\
319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1291941170&sr=1-1>   or through your
bookstore.

God Bless,

Thom -- http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sorry to hear of your mom's illness, Thom. I am praying for her. Congrats on the
book. Mine is now safely in the printer's hands. Hallelujah! More info to
follow, folks. Just looking right now to exhale a bit and enjoy family time.

For those of you who celebrate the Advent of our Lord at this time of year, a
very Merry Christmas.

In His grip,

Debbie

--- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "Thom Hunter" <th2950@...> wrote:
>
> Good Guys,
>
> I would appreciate your prayers for my mother, Mary Ellen, as she is ill
> and in the hospital in Dallas. I've gone to visit her, which means
> instead up updating Signs of a Struggle this week, I chose one of my
> favorite chapters from my new book, Surviving Sexual Brokenness: What
> Grace Can Do.
>
> The chapter is called
> <http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/12/consequences-of-carel\
> /%20ess-compassion.html> "The Consequences of Careless Compassion,"
> <http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/12/consequences-of-carel\
> ess-compassion.html>   and here's a paragraph from it. I hope you will
> click the link and read the whole chapter:
>
> Compassion is a gift from God that we can corrupt like everything else
> He gives us. Oh . . . but when it is presented in its perfect form,
> what healing takes place, what joy abounds, what grace flows and what
> beauty springs forth from the dry desert, shocking those who view it,
> like a brilliant and seemingly fragile butterfly that pauses on a
> morning glory. Imagine, that little fluttering thing that looks like
> tissue paper in flight can cross the continent and return again. It
> looks weak, but it is strong because it has learned to manage the
> currents and soar.
>
> If you would like to order an autographed Surviving Sexual Brokenness
> <http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/11/new-surviving-sexual-\
> brokenness-what.html> , please click the link on the right side of the
> blog.
> The book is also available on  <http://amazon.com/>
> <http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Sexual-Brokenness-What-Grace/dp/1449707\
> /%20319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1291864941&sr=1-1> Amazon.com
> <http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Sexual-Brokenness-What-Grace/dp/1449707\
> 319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1291941170&sr=1-1>   or through your
> bookstore.
>
> God Bless,
>
> Thom -- http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/
> <http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Oh and thanks for opening the door to this group for me I am working on my blog
and have read "Turning Controversy Into Church Ministry" and the author I feel
hits the nail on the head. As I have yet to see a church address this issue and
offer help or start a small group for us. Most feel as ours does the mixed small
group will address this issue,,, YA SURE....

Hi Guys, I am JohnR form South Central WI, 71 and lugging this load of bricks
around for close to 60 years now that the bridge to the other side of the river
is getting closer I wan to use whats left encouraging others in finding a way to
get rid of their load of bricks. I acted out as a teen in mutual masturbation
and oral sex, and again as an adult in oral sex. I have always checked our a
guys crotch first then his face. I am a born again believer married for 40 years
and have three grown sons who are unaware of my luggage.
So if your close to S. WI and want to chat e-mail me.

Sorry, John, that your posts appear in reverse order here. Welcome! Sounds like
you've carried a heavy burden for quite a long time. Praying that God may grant
you the peace to lay it at His feet, and that this group may help with that in
some small way.

I am blessed to be part of a church that does minister to strugglers like I was
once. Others, as you say, have not opened themselves to that kind of ministry
yet, but I am doing what I can to see that change. To that end, I have a book
coming out January 15: "Post-Gay? Post-Christian?: Anatomy of a Cultural and
Faith Identity Crisis." It contains messages for many of us, but most of all,
for the Church. Here is the Amazon.com link:

http://www.amazon.com/Post-Gay-Post-Christian-Anatomy-Cultural-Identity/dp/09676\
28962/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1290110033&sr=1-1

Bless you!

Debbie

--- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "JohnR" <piperjohn2@...> wrote:
>
> Oh and thanks for opening the door to this group for me I am working on my
blog and have read "Turning Controversy Into Church Ministry" and the author I
feel hits the nail on the head. As I have yet to see a church address this issue
and offer help or start a small group for us. Most feel as ours does the mixed
small group will address this issue,,, YA SURE....
>

John,
I'm afraid I'm a long ways from Wisconsin, but I'm very glad to welcome you to
the group. We all carry a bit too much luggage around with us for way too long .
. . but it is never too late to leave it at the cross and move forward without
it.
God bless,

Thom Hunter
My new book is available on my blog at Signs of a Struggle,or on Amazon.com or
on Barnes&Noble.com.


--- On Fri, 12/10/10, JohnR <piperjohn2@...> wrote:

From: JohnR <piperjohn2@...>
Subject: [ExGDBd] Me
To: exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, December 10, 2010, 5:05 PM
















 









       Hi Guys, I am JohnR form South Central WI, 71 and lugging this load of
bricks around for close to 60 years now that the bridge to the other side of the
river is getting closer I wan to use whats left encouraging others in finding a
way to get rid of their load of bricks. I acted out as a teen in mutual
masturbation and oral sex, and again as an adult in oral sex. I have always
checked our a guys crotch first then his face. I am a born again believer
married for 40 years and have three grown sons who are unaware of my luggage.

So if your close to S. WI and want to chat e-mail me.






























[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Debbie,

Actually the posts showed as I sent them, I always have after thoughts, I
put your book in my wish list for perhaps after Christmas.

Thanks for the comments and post,

John

On Sat, Dec 11, 2010 at 9:40 AM, DebbieThurman <debbie@...>wrote:

>
>
> Sorry, John, that your posts appear in reverse order here. Welcome! Sounds
> like you've carried a heavy burden for quite a long time. Praying that God
> may grant you the peace to lay it at His feet, and that this group may help
> with that in some small way.
>
> I am blessed to be part of a church that does minister to strugglers like I
> was once. Others, as you say, have not opened themselves to that kind of
> ministry yet, but I am doing what I can to see that change. To that end, I
> have a book coming out January 15: "Post-Gay? Post-Christian?: Anatomy of a
> Cultural and Faith Identity Crisis." It contains messages for many of us,
> but most of all, for the Church. Here is the Amazon.com link:
>
>
>
http://www.amazon.com/Post-Gay-Post-Christian-Anatomy-Cultural-Identity/dp/09676\
28962/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1290110033&sr=1-1
>
> Bless you!
>
> Debbie
>
> --- In
exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com<exgaydiscussionboard%40yahoogroups.com>,
> "JohnR" <piperjohn2@...> wrote:
> >
> > Oh and thanks for opening the door to this group for me I am working on
> my blog and have read "Turning Controversy Into Church Ministry" and the
> author I feel hits the nail on the head. As I have yet to see a church
> address this issue and offer help or start a small group for us. Most feel
> as ours does the mixed small group will address this issue,,, YA SURE....
> >
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Thom,

Thanks, I ordered it.

John

On Sat, Dec 11, 2010 at 10:18 AM, Thom Hunter <th2950@...> wrote:

>
>
> John,
> I'm afraid I'm a long ways from Wisconsin, but I'm very glad to welcome you
> to the group. We all carry a bit too much luggage around with us for way too
> long . . . but it is never too late to leave it at the cross and move
> forward without it.
> God bless,
>
> Thom Hunter
> My new book is available on my blog at Signs of a Struggle,or on
> Amazon.com or on Barnes&Noble.com.
>
> --- On Fri, 12/10/10, JohnR <piperjohn2@... <piperjohn2%40tds.net>>
> wrote:
>
> From: JohnR <piperjohn2@... <piperjohn2%40tds.net>>
> Subject: [ExGDBd] Me
> To:
exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com<exgaydiscussionboard%40yahoogroups.com>
> Date: Friday, December 10, 2010, 5:05 PM
>
>
>
>
> Hi Guys, I am JohnR form South Central WI, 71 and lugging this load of
> bricks around for close to 60 years now that the bridge to the other side of
> the river is getting closer I wan to use whats left encouraging others in
> finding a way to get rid of their load of bricks. I acted out as a teen in
> mutual masturbation and oral sex, and again as an adult in oral sex. I have
> always checked our a guys crotch first then his face. I am a born again
> believer married for 40 years and have three grown sons who are unaware of
> my luggage.
>
> So if your close to S. WI and want to chat e-mail me.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Good Guys,
What does it really mean to deny yourself . . . and why did Christ ask
us to do that? That's the subject of this week's blog post: Denial
Really is a River
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/12/denial-really-is-rive\
r.html>  .
I hope you'll take a moment to read it and that it will be an
encouragement to you.
Here's a paragraph from it:

"We sin. We fall. We plunge headlong into Satan's schemes. And the cross
gets all the heavier it seems as we get all the weaker. And then, just
about the time our face is about to hit the rocks, we hear . . . "

God Bless and Merry Christmas,

Thomhttp://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/>








[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Good Guys,
First of all, Merry Christmas. Some of you may have heard that our house
burned down this week. It's true. I have always been heartbroken when I
have seen things happen in the lives of others, particularly just before
Christmas. Believe me, it does give you a lot to thank about. And, for
me, naturally, to write about, as that helps me think things through.
I hope you'll visit the blog this week, where I share my thoughts in a
post entitled "The View From This Inn."
I am always very interested in your feedback. Here's the link to the
blog:
http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/12/view-from-this-inn.htm\
l
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/2010/12/view-from-this-inn.ht\
ml>
God Bless,
Thomhttp://thomhunter.com/ <http://thomhunter.com/>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Good Guys,
First of all, thank you all for your prayers following the fire that
destroyed our house. It has been more than two weeks now and we are
settling well into the transition phase as we get ready to re-build. God
has been very good to us in this time.
I hope you'll visit the blog this week and read my thoughts about grace.
And, if you'd like to share yours, I'd sure like to hear them. We all
need grace. And it is available to all of us.
Here's the opening paragraph of the blog post:

I will always be one who looks back. Out of my past, with all its levels
of conjured contentedness concealed between cushions of deceit, I draw
my emotion. In the losses, I find my determination. In the pain, I
uncover energy to search for the truth of healing. In the regret, I
discover grace. Out of the stupidity of ill-conceived actions and words,
I hunger for wisdom. In the layers of the past, I see the unfolding of
the future.



To read the rest of the piece or to leave a comment, just click on this
link:  http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/>

God Bless,

Thom -- http://thomhunter.com/ <http://thomhunter.com/>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

So glad to hear life is progressing smoothly, all things considered, Thom. May
God continue to cover you and yours with his amazing grace. It's always enough
and just when we need it.

Debbie

--- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "Thom Hunter" <th2950@...> wrote:
>
> Good Guys,
> First of all, thank you all for your prayers following the fire that
> destroyed our house. It has been more than two weeks now and we are
> settling well into the transition phase as we get ready to re-build. God
> has been very good to us in this time.
> I hope you'll visit the blog this week and read my thoughts about grace.
> And, if you'd like to share yours, I'd sure like to hear them. We all
> need grace. And it is available to all of us.
> Here's the opening paragraph of the blog post:
>
> I will always be one who looks back. Out of my past, with all its levels
> of conjured contentedness concealed between cushions of deceit, I draw
> my emotion. In the losses, I find my determination. In the pain, I
> uncover energy to search for the truth of healing. In the regret, I
> discover grace. Out of the stupidity of ill-conceived actions and words,
> I hunger for wisdom. In the layers of the past, I see the unfolding of
> the future.
>
>
>
> To read the rest of the piece or to leave a comment, just click on this
> link:  http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/
> <http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/>
>
> God Bless,
>
> Thom -- http://thomhunter.com/ <http://thomhunter.com/>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Greetings to all. It came to my attention this morning that we'd received a
complaint from an individual whose former blog comments had been reposted
without permission to this group. This happened quite some time ago, but they
were in our archives and were a violation of this person's privacy, as well as
of general Internet etiquette. The posts in question have been deleted.

In the future, let's all remember that reposting comments from someone without
their express permission is a no-no. I've been approached by folks who've asked
me if they can repost something I've written. Depending on the forum, I
generally say yes. Chances are, you will be given permission to repost if you
take the time to ask. This person has compelling reasons for privacy just now.

Thank you all for remembering this in the future. If I see reposted comments
coming through here, I will be asking for the author's contact information so I
can verify they have granted permission.

Best,

Debbie Thurman

Good Guys,

This week on the blog I took a look at some of the things around us that
can make it more difficult for us to believe we can overcome our
temptations. I hope you'll take a few minutes to read it and let me know
your thoughts.

Here's a paragraph from it:

This is not a race. We don't spring from the blocks at the start of a
pistol and try to beat everyone to redemption. We walk with the Lord,
and pray for Him to set the pace and stay beside us all the way. He
doesn't rush to the finish line and say, "Oh well." He takes each step
with us until we get there and then He says "Well done." We don't start
at the same place, run the same course, mark the same time, but we have
the same Savior walking beside us as those who seek repentance for sins
far removed from sexuality. Their path is different and perhaps just as
hard, but the finish line is for all.  Don't turn your back on the
finish line and turn around and start over. Go on. Every time you get
back up, the finish line is little bit closer if you keep heading in the
same direction.
To read the whole post, just click on this link:
http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/>

God Bless,
Thom
Thom HunterVisit my new website: http://thomhunter.com/
<http://thomhunter.com/>

My new book, Surviving Sexual Brokenness
<http://thomhunter.com/book_236.html> , is available on my blog at Signs
of a Struggle, <http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/> or on
Amazon.com
<http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Sexual-Brokenness-What-Grace/dp/1449707\
319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1291753315&sr=1-1>  or on
Barnes&Noble.com.
<http://productsearch.barnesandnoble.com/search/results.aspx?store=BOOK&\
WRD=surviving+sexual+brokenness&page=index&prod=univ&choice=book&query=S\
urviving+Sexual+B>
      Those Not-So-Still Small Voices is now available by clicking here:
Voices!
<http://www.iuniverse.com/Bookstore/BookSearchResults.aspx?Search=Thom%2\
0Hunter>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I was attending a church and God was convicting me that the life I was leading
was wrong and that I needed to change and a friend that was there  told me that
I did not change my life that my life was Ok with God and since then I have not
been back to the church because I felt
uncomfortable being around him.

Thom,

Awesome story and I sure am glad I wasn't you when that guy pulled his truck
up next to me. looking forward to reading part 4 Friday.

JR

On Thu, Jan 13, 2011 at 6:05 PM, Thom Hunter <th2950@...> wrote:

>
>
>
> Good Guys,
>
> This week on the blog I took a look at some of the things around us that
> can make it more difficult for us to believe we can overcome our
> temptations. I hope you'll take a few minutes to read it and let me know
> your thoughts.
>
> Here's a paragraph from it:
>
> This is not a race. We don't spring from the blocks at the start of a
> pistol and try to beat everyone to redemption. We walk with the Lord,
> and pray for Him to set the pace and stay beside us all the way. He
> doesn't rush to the finish line and say, "Oh well." He takes each step
> with us until we get there and then He says "Well done." We don't start
> at the same place, run the same course, mark the same time, but we have
> the same Savior walking beside us as those who seek repentance for sins
> far removed from sexuality. Their path is different and perhaps just as
> hard, but the finish line is for all. Don't turn your back on the
> finish line and turn around and start over. Go on. Every time you get
> back up, the finish line is little bit closer if you keep heading in the
> same direction.
> To read the whole post, just click on this link:
> http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/
> <http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/>
>
> God Bless,
> Thom
> Thom HunterVisit my new website: http://thomhunter.com/
> <http://thomhunter.com/>
>
> My new book, Surviving Sexual Brokenness
> <http://thomhunter.com/book_236.html> , is available on my blog at Signs
> of a Struggle, <http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/> or on
> Amazon.com
> <http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Sexual-Brokenness-What-Grace/dp/1449707\
>
319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1291753315&sr=1-1<http://www.amazon.com/Survi\
ving-Sexual-Brokenness-What-Grace/dp/1449707319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1\
291753315&sr=1-1>>
> or on
> Barnes&Noble.com.
> <http://productsearch.barnesandnoble.com/search/results.aspx?store=BOOK&\
> WRD=surviving+sexual+brokenness&page=index&prod=univ&choice=book&query=S\
>
urviving+Sexual+B<http://productsearch.barnesandnoble.com/search/results.aspx?st\
ore=BOOK&WRD=surviving+sexual+brokenness&page=index&prod=univ&choice=book&query=\
Surviving+Sexual+B>
> >
> Those Not-So-Still Small Voices is now available by clicking here:
> Voices!
> <http://www.iuniverse.com/Bookstore/BookSearchResults.aspx?Search=Thom%2\
>
0Hunter<http://www.iuniverse.com/Bookstore/BookSearchResults.aspx?Search=Thom%20\
Hunter>
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Thanks for sharing that experience with us. First of all, it's always very
important when we are certain that God is speaking to us that we follow His
instruction above all else. Churches are imperfect because they're composed of
imperfect people, like your friend and yourself. I hope, unless he is
representative of the views of the majority of the church members, that you will
be able to return to your church. If it's not a healthy place for you to find
support in your walk to freedom, then perhaps the words your friend said were
actually given to you as a bit of a warning that you need to be somewhere else.
Still, if it was just him and not a common view of the membership, I would not
let him make you so uncomfortable that you can't return.
The truth is, a lot of churches are ill-equipped to provide the support and the
understanding that strugglers need. If you need to move on to somewhere else, I
pray that God will lead you to the right place. The most important thing is that
you don't allow this experience to separate you from fellowship with other
Christians. We all need that.
God Bless,
Thom

Thom HunterVisit my new website: http://thomhunter.com/

My new book, Surviving Sexual Brokenness, is available on my blog at Signs of a
Struggle,or on Amazon.com or on Barnes&Noble.com.
    Those Not-So-Still Small Voices is now available by clicking here:
Voices!



--- On Thu, 1/13/11, The <mrsmboy@...> wrote:

From: The <mrsmboy@...>
Subject: [ExGDBd] Change and Church
To: exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com
Date: Thursday, January 13, 2011, 8:52 PM
















 









       I was attending a church and God was convicting me that the life I was
leading was wrong and that I needed to change and a friend that was there  told
me that I did not change my life that my life was Ok with God and since then I
have not been back to the church because I felt

uncomfortable being around him.






























[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Apparently there are Spam / Phishing sites out there posing as this group and
getting people to transfer to Groupl instead of here.  It is a lie.  This group
is remaiing at Yahoo and has no plan to move elsewhere.  Trying to get the
Grouply site removed (full of spam and porn crap anyway!!)

Good Guys,

I hope you find some encouragement in this week's blog post. As always,
I welcome your feedback either here or in the comment section of the
blog at http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/>

This week I focused on restoring relationships. Here's a paragraph from
the blog:

We can rebuild some relationships and build new and healthy ones. We
just have to be willing to let some stones lie to the side in hopes that
God will add them back to the wall in His due time. The devil would have
us scramble around trying to put it all back together again, not wanting
us to see the truth that many times God intends the new structure to be
something altogether different.

Read more at http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/
<http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/>

God Bless,

Thom
Visit my new website: http://thomhunter.com/ <http://thomhunter.com/>

My new book, Surviving Sexual Brokenness
<http://thomhunter.com/book_236.html> , is available on my blog at Signs
of a Struggle, <http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/>  or on
Amazon.com
<http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Sexual-Brokenness-What-Grace/dp/1449707\
319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1291753315&sr=1-1>  or on
Barnes&Noble.com.
<http://productsearch.barnesandnoble.com/search/results.aspx?store=BOOK&\
WRD=surviving+sexual+brokenness&page=index&prod=univ&choice=book&query=S\
urviving+Sexual+B>
      Those Not-So-Still Small Voices is now available by clicking here:
Voices!
<http://www.iuniverse.com/Bookstore/BookSearchResults.aspx?Search=Thom%2\
0Hunter>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Good Guys,
Would you mind doing me a favor? My book trailer promoting "Surviving
Sexual Brokenness: What Grace Can Do" began running today on YouTube. I
would appreciate it if you would take a look (it's only 1 minute long)
and let me know if you think it conveys a good and strong message. All
you need to do is hit this link and it will go straight to YouTube and
the trailer:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jt7LdZwegkU
<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jt7LdZwegkU>   Since you've been
following the blog, your feedback is important to me in making sure the
message has the right tone.
I want to make sure the trailer conveys well the content, in hopes of
getting the book into the hands of anyone who struggles with a sexual
issue.
Thanks for your help.
God's Grace is Always Greater,
Thom
Thom HunterVisit my new website: http://thomhunter.com/
<http://thomhunter.com/>

My new book, Surviving Sexual Brokenness
<http://thomhunter.com/book_236.html> , is available on my blog at Signs
of a Struggle, <http://thom-signsofastruggle.blogspot.com/> or on
Amazon.com
<http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Sexual-Brokenness-What-Grace/dp/1449707\
319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1291753315&sr=1-1>  or on
Barnes&Noble.com.
<http://productsearch.barnesandnoble.com/search/results.aspx?store=BOOK&\
WRD=surviving+sexual+brokenness&page=index&prod=univ&choice=book&query=S\
urviving+Sexual+B>
      Those Not-So-Still Small Voices is now available by clicking here:
Voices!
<http://www.iuniverse.com/Bookstore/BookSearchResults.aspx?Search=Thom%2\
0Hunter>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]