Hmmm:

> 1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
> pleasing odor for the Lord (Leviticus 1:9). The problem is my neighbors.
They
> claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

There are several effective air-fresheners on the market, but avoid aerosols
as they are neither ecologically nor halachically groovy.

> 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as stated in Exodus
21:7.
> In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

Can I open the bidding at $25?

> 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period
> of menstrual uncleanliness (Leviticus 15:19-24). The problem is, how can
I
> tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

The simple answer to this is that you should avoid contact with all
women at all times. This will prevent 'accidental' unclean contacts and as a
bonus help to remove you from the gene pool.

> 4. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are
> around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not
> Canadians. Can you clarify?

This does not apply to Canadians providing they are white and do not speak
French, as they are to all intents and purposes merely another state.

> 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
> clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
him
> myself?

Yes, but be discreet, as some in this culture follow other laws.

> 6. A friend of mine says that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination
> (Leviticus 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't
> agree. Can you settle this?

All abominations are equal. Some are more equal than others.
As long as you don't commit both at the same time you're in good shape.

> 7. Leviticus 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
have a
> defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
> vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

20/20 with glasses is OK, providing you're not approaching the altar in a
helicopter, in which case you need 20/20 without correction.
(FAA overrules Torah).

> I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you
can
> help.
>
> Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.