D A V E ' S D A I L Y C H U C K L E

- 1 0 0 % C L E A N J O K E S -
____________________________________________________________________

Join this list! mailto:daily_chuckle-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Quit this list. mailto:daily_chuckle-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
Visit our site! http://www.Daily-Chuckle.com
Need help? mailto:daily_chuckle-owner@yahoogroups.com
____________________________________________________________________

Total Subscribers: 15,967

I went door knocking for the first time yesterday as an
Edward Jones Investment Representative. All I am doing right
now is introducing myself to the community and handing out
a pamphlet about Edward Jones and letting people know where
my office will be located in six weeks.

I found most people to be receptive to the information I had
to share. Many people were very friendly. Many also felt
badly I was walking around during the heat of the day...

William is doing wonderful. He has learned to kick his legs
more now and continues to make a full range of cute baby grunts,
squeals, and other various sounds. He is also growing as
tall as weed. He is starting to fit better into most of
his outfits.

For those that asked, I have moved to Mesa Arizona. If you
live in the area, but sure to drop me an email at the below
address and say hello to your newest neighbor!

Your JokeMaster, Dave

Have something to say? Email me at feedback@...

**************** T H E D A I L Y C H U C K L E ******************

Baby-Sitting

A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went
to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take
her along.

"I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening.
"I didn't catch a thing!"

"Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the
fish away," his mother said.

The boy said, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait."

**************** T H E D A I L Y C H U C K L E ******************

Sometimes You'll Laugh!! Sometimes You'll Cry!!
But you'll always get the very best in Inspiring Stories, Articles
& Poems when you join Inspirational Angels.
True stories Submitted by the people who experienced them.
To join send a mailto:Subscribe-IRAngels@...

**************** T H E D A I L Y C H U C K L E ******************

Stupid News

Lulica Traznea, a Romanian football player (soccer to we
Americans), was tossed from a national third division game,
when about to cross the ball, he stopped to answer his cell
phone. And to the amazement of the referee and other players
he then negotiated the sale of one of his lambs for the next
five minutes.

And what says Traznea?

"If they paid us enough in the first place we would not have
to get involved in other things."

Ananova 18-Apr-01
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_260613.html

**************** T H E D A I L Y C H U C K L E ******************

Links of the Day

Zrythm http://ugrin.com/?43-43

Wanna Play Hard-Ball? http://dailymegajoke.com/toons.php?00140268

Is the net in heaven? http://dailymegajoke.com/toons.php?00140270

* WARNING - The above site links are safe to click on, but
other pages on these sites may be inappropriate.

**************** T H E D A I L Y C H U C K L E ******************

Quotes of the Day

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

**************** T H E D A I L Y C H U C K L E ******************

Today's nice comment from a nice person (Wendy B):

I love your emails. Thanks for the laughs.

**************** T H E D A I L Y C H U C K L E ******************

Today's Useless Facts:

1. Lobsters teeth are in their stomachs

2. Moscow's local time is Greenwich Mean Time plus 3.

3. Chicken Pox is spread by direct contact or breathing in
infected air threw your nose.

4. Hair is the fastest growing tissue in the human body.

5. During World War II, American troops ate about 1 million
pounds of cranberries a year.

Thousands of more useless facts at: http://www.uselessfacts.net

**************** T H E D A I L Y C H U C K L E ******************

Two-Cow Philosophy

Political Philosophies Explained in Simple "Two-Cow" Terms

Socialism:
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

Communism:
You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides
you with milk.

Fascism:
You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you
the milk.

Bureaucracy:
You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots
one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours
it down the drain.

Capitalism:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Corporate:
You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the
milk of four cows and then act surprised when it drops dead.

Democracy:
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that
you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign
country who has only one cow which was a gift from your
government.

===================================================================

Like Dave's Daily Chuckle? Click to Recommend-It (r) today!
http://www.recommend-it.com/l.z.e?s=368065

Please forward this message to friends so they can smile too!

Thanks and Keep Laughing!

Your JokeMaster, Dave τΏτ
~
====================================================================

WHERE IS THE WEB SITE?
http://www.Daily-Chuckle.com

SEND US YOUR CLEAN JOKES TO BE INCLUDED IN FUTURE ISSUES!
jokes@...

Be a sponsor! For information, email
advertise@...

ISSN: 1527-3156 - Library Of Congress, Washington D.C., USA
© Copyright 1999-2000 http://www.Daily-Chuckle.com/