Thanks Evelyn for such a helpful response.

Glo

Evelyn Parker <eparker15@...> wrote:

I got a lot out of reading this and would like to share a real-life example
from my life of how this worked for me recently. I'll try to be brief.

I injured my knee on Sep 11th this year, which has REALLY slowed me down. It
requres surgery which I have yet to arrange. Talk about walking meditation!
I have had to exercise so much time and energy to walk deliberately (to
avoid reinjury and possible pain), it has affected my spiritual life. I use
the times that I walk to really notice what goes through my mind: the fear,
the anger, frustration, the self-pity, the wish that it was not this way and
so on. I even notice how I think the world should stop and get out of my way
just because I'm "handicapped" in this way. Ugly.

I've also been forced to spend A LOT more time immobile, which lends itself
to the meditative practice of inner reflection and "being with". Paired with
this, there are a lot of circumstances that , ironically enough, have needed
my attention for progress and healing to occur.

I've had to work hard to not judge myself in the midst of all the mental
noise (an insane cacophony of noise, and a LOT of it), but to just
concentrate on noticing and acknowledging what is there. And this has not
been easy as I have plenty of stuff to recriminate myself for - not working
for several months, relationship issues, money issues. This has been good
work for me to do because I've had breakthoughs in issues occur, almost
miraculously. And there are more to come.

At age 40, one does not expect to be blindsided by deeply submerged issues
that catch one by surprise. You kind of get into a comfort zone and think
you know yourself pretty good, ha ha. But I am a meditator and this is what
they say happens - if you quit installing new crap to deal with all the
time, and do the work, what happens is that the deeper stuff comes up to be
worked with and then subsides. If you can develop compassion for yourself,
this (healing thru dealing with, using meditation) is a way of falling in
love with yourself over and over as you heal. And naturally, this leads to
greater love and compassion for others.

Because of the drastic halt in my activity and being forced to use
meditation or go nuts, I have received the gift of the beginning of deep
healing of incest-survivor issues, and even the significant scars of the
death of my marriage. Had I not been forced to meditate in the way that I
have for the past month, I daresay that these issues would NOT have
surfaced to be dealt with and they most certainly would not have begun
healing. Last night I actually got a good glimpse of how I shut love out and
how afraid I am to risk, and how that has affected other people in my life.
My relationship with my mother is exponentially closer and more alive than
it has ever been, out of my increased willingness to share myself, and let
her love in.

I make a practice of having little post it notes around my house and car -
every where I look, which say "This is perfect". Even though they seem to
fade into the background after a while, I know my spirit still sees them.
And this injury to my body has been a very ironic and amazing gift to my
soul. A perfect tool for my spiritual healing. But only because I could
refrain from assigning it the value of catastrophe. And that ability is what
I have gained from learning to meditate.







------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
$9.95 domain names from Yahoo!. Register anything.
http://us.click.yahoo.com/J8kdrA/y20IAA/yQLSAA/_bWolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->


Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/citta101/

<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
citta101-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/

Evelyn,
Thank you so much for your sharing.  It really resonates with me
because, I too, after years of being a Type A. Productive,Energetic
spirit ,was suddenly reduced to walking on a walker, keeping my left
leg elevated and just resigning myself to enforced inactivity.  Had I
not had the practice of meditation, I don't know what would have become
of me.  I rejuvenated my artistic bent and started doing colored pencil
painting and have found a wonderful way to deal with what we tend to
think or as tradegies.   A friend and I meet with regularity to
practice together and what a blessing it is.

Thank you so much
Ruth Leddy
On Oct 13, 2004, at 10:21 AM, Evelyn Parker wrote:

>
>
> I got a lot out of reading this and would like to share a real-life
> example
> from my life of how this worked for me recently. I'll try to be brief.
>
> I injured my knee on Sep 11th this year, which has REALLY slowed me
> down. It
> requres surgery which I have yet to arrange. Talk about walking
> meditation!
> I have had to exercise so much time and energy to walk deliberately (to
> avoid reinjury and possible pain), it has affected my spiritual life.
> I use
> the times that I walk to really notice what goes through my mind: the
> fear,
> the anger, frustration, the self-pity, the wish that it was not this
> way and
> so on. I even notice how I think the world should stop and get out of
> my way
> just because I'm "handicapped" in this way. Ugly.
>
> I've also been forced to spend A LOT more time immobile, which lends
> itself
> to the meditative practice of inner reflection and "being with".
> Paired with
> this, there are a lot of circumstances that , ironically enough, have
> needed
> my attention for progress and healing to occur.
>
> I've had to work hard to not judge myself in the midst of all the
> mental
> noise (an insane cacophony of noise, and a LOT of it), but to just
> concentrate on noticing and acknowledging what is there. And this has
> not
> been easy as I have plenty of stuff to recriminate myself for - not
> working
> for several months, relationship issues, money issues. This has been
> good
> work for me to do because I've had breakthoughs in issues occur, almost
> miraculously. And there are more to come.
>
> At age 40, one does not expect to be blindsided by deeply submerged
> issues
> that catch one by surprise. You kind of get into a comfort zone and
> think
> you know yourself pretty good, ha ha.  But I am a meditator and this
> is what
> they say happens - if you quit installing new crap to deal with all the
> time, and do the work, what happens is that the deeper stuff comes up
> to be
> worked with and then subsides. If you can develop compassion for
> yourself,
> this (healing thru dealing with, using meditation) is a way of falling
> in
> love with yourself over and over as you heal. And naturally, this
> leads to
> greater love and compassion for others.
>
> Because of the drastic halt in my activity and being forced to use
> meditation or go nuts, I have received the gift of the beginning of
> deep
> healing of incest-survivor issues, and even the significant scars of
> the
> death of my marriage. Had I not been forced to meditate in the way
> that I
> have for the past month, I  daresay that these issues would NOT have
> surfaced to be dealt with and they most certainly would not have begun
> healing. Last night I actually got a good glimpse of how I shut love
> out and
> how afraid I am to risk, and how that has affected other people in my
> life.
> My relationship with my mother is exponentially closer and more alive
> than
> it has ever been, out of my increased willingness to share myself, and
> let
> her love in.
>
> I make a practice of having little post it notes around my house and
> car -
> every where I look, which say "This is perfect". Even though they seem
> to
> fade into the background after a while, I know my spirit still sees
> them.
> And this injury to my body has been a very ironic and amazing gift to
> my
> soul. A perfect tool for my spiritual healing. But only because I could
> refrain from assigning it the value of catastrophe. And that ability
> is what
> I have gained from learning to meditate.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

My meditation practice is the place where I am being softer to me.  Still
catching myself during the day--breathing.  This brings me back to the
calming meditation practice and makes me connected to the world outside.

Peace,

Lena Marie

Lena Marie Brooks
9009 Braesmont Dr. #101
Houston, TX  77096

713.551.9305 - Home
713.594-3497 - Cell
thinktreez@...


----- Original Message -----
From: "Mary Rees" <marees@...>
To: <citta101@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Friday, October 01, 2004 10:51 AM
Subject: [citta101] You can't get it wrong!


Dear friends,

A question that comes up in every course: "I am trying to do
meditation as you advise, but I can't get it right. I can observe
my breathing, but thoughts keep arising. I keep going into the
future and going into the past. I'm trying very hard to do
everything you have told us to do, but can't get it right."


What I need to say to you is very important:
          You can't do it wrong!

Meditation is a personal exploration or investigation into our own
experience. It is a discovery process, not a set of rules of how to
use the mind. Please see my directions as suggestions or pointers.
Try them out and see what happens. You are learning to work with
mind and trust your ability to best know what to do for yourself.

Thoughts about past and future are very common, even with lots of
experience. What is different is that with meditation practice we
learn to see thoughts or sensations as they are happening! As they
occur.

We can then intervene if we choose to. But we don't try to stop
thought and we don't try to make anything happen. We don't follow or
entertain thoughts. We don't try to get rid of anything.

Skillful intervention, usually and especially early in practice, is

* To simply notice what is happening (noting, if you like, "thinking" or
"sensing," but doing so very softly -- Noting is not something you need to
do all the time, though it does help get clear about what is happening)
* To choose not to follow thoughts
* To choose not to push any experience away
* To practice returning to a simple balance that doesn't close out
experience, that doesn't cling to experience
* To choose to gently return to the anchor in the breath over and over
again - Every returning is a choice that develops your skill in kindly
coming back again to just being with your breath, your body, and yourself in
the moment, a "muscle training," an establishment of memory which eventually
automatically comes back to the breath for a rest, for reprieve.

The most important skill you need to incorporate is self-kindness.
We don't learn meditation the way we learn anything else. We learn
by letting go, by accepting things as they are. By just being nice
to ourselves.

Think of coming to your formal practice and your practice of
returning to the breath during the day as a simple kindness you do
for yourself, a cool and refreshing drink of water for the mind.

Many Blessings to you,

Mary

Mary Rees


>From course:
Going Beyond What You Believe to be True - First Steps
Copyright 2004 Mary Rees







Yahoo! Groups Links

I got a lot out of reading this and would like to share a real-life example
from my life of how this worked for me recently. I'll try to be brief.

I injured my knee on Sep 11th this year, which has REALLY slowed me down. It
requres surgery which I have yet to arrange. Talk about walking meditation!
I have had to exercise so much time and energy to walk deliberately (to
avoid reinjury and possible pain), it has affected my spiritual life. I use
the times that I walk to really notice what goes through my mind: the fear,
the anger, frustration, the self-pity, the wish that it was not this way and
so on. I even notice how I think the world should stop and get out of my way
just because I'm "handicapped" in this way. Ugly.

I've also been forced to spend A LOT more time immobile, which lends itself
to the meditative practice of inner reflection and "being with". Paired with
this, there are a lot of circumstances that , ironically enough, have needed
my attention for progress and healing to occur.

I've had to work hard to not judge myself in the midst of all the mental
noise (an insane cacophony of noise, and a LOT of it), but to just
concentrate on noticing and acknowledging what is there. And this has not
been easy as I have plenty of stuff to recriminate myself for - not working
for several months, relationship issues, money issues. This has been good
work for me to do because I've had breakthoughs in issues occur, almost
miraculously. And there are more to come.

At age 40, one does not expect to be blindsided by deeply submerged issues
that catch one by surprise. You kind of get into a comfort zone and think
you know yourself pretty good, ha ha. But I am a meditator and this is what
they say happens - if you quit installing new crap to deal with all the
time, and do the work, what happens is that the deeper stuff comes up to be
worked with and then subsides. If you can develop compassion for yourself,
this (healing thru dealing with, using meditation) is a way of falling in
love with yourself over and over as you heal. And naturally, this leads to
greater love and compassion for others.

Because of the drastic halt in my activity and being forced to use
meditation or go nuts, I have received the gift of the beginning of deep
healing of incest-survivor issues, and even the significant scars of the
death of my marriage. Had I not been forced to meditate in the way that I
have for the past month, I daresay that these issues would NOT have
surfaced to be dealt with and they most certainly would not have begun
healing. Last night I actually got a good glimpse of how I shut love out and
how afraid I am to risk, and how that has affected other people in my life.
My relationship with my mother is exponentially closer and more alive than
it has ever been, out of my increased willingness to share myself, and let
her love in.

I make a practice of having little post it notes around my house and car -
every where I look, which say "This is perfect". Even though they seem to
fade into the background after a while, I know my spirit still sees them.
And this injury to my body has been a very ironic and amazing gift to my
soul. A perfect tool for my spiritual healing. But only because I could
refrain from assigning it the value of catastrophe. And that ability is what
I have gained from learning to meditate.







------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
$9.95 domain names from Yahoo!. Register anything.
http://us.click.yahoo.com/J8kdrA/y20IAA/yQLSAA/_bWolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->


Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/citta101/

<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
citta101-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/

In the next day or two I'm going to change the settings of this
listserve so that I will not be moderating messages. This means that
whatever you write as a return message will go to everyone on the
list. I have been moderating mesages, but my intention was
originally to make it possible for you to communicate with each
other! I'd like to honor that intent.

If you want to write to just me, you will need to use one of my
personal email addresses. I usually include one at the end of
messages.

Should anyone feel inundated with messages from this listserve, just
let me know. I can set your individual service to receive only my
mailings. If my mailings are too much, you can let me know that, too
and I'll cut back.

Mary

Mary Rees
713-662-2743
mary@...

I got a lot out of reading this and would like to share a real-life example
from my life of how this worked for me recently. I'll try to be brief.

I injured my knee on Sep 11th this year, which has REALLY slowed me down. It
requres surgery which I have yet to arrange. Talk about walking meditation!
I have had to exercise so much time and energy to walk deliberately (to
avoid reinjury and possible pain), it has affected my spiritual life. I use
the times that I walk to really notice what goes through my mind: the fear,
the anger, frustration, the self-pity, the wish that it was not this way and
so on. I even notice how I think the world should stop and get out of my way
just because I'm "handicapped" in this way. Ugly.

I've also been forced to spend A LOT more time immobile, which lends itself
to the meditative practice of inner reflection and "being with". Paired with
this, there are a lot of circumstances that , ironically enough, have needed
my attention for progress and healing to occur.

I've had to work hard to not judge myself in the midst of all the mental
noise (an insane cacophony of noise, and a LOT of it), but to just
concentrate on noticing and acknowledging what is there. And this has not
been easy as I have plenty of stuff to recriminate myself for - not working
for several months, relationship issues, money issues. This has been good
work for me to do because I've had breakthoughs in issues occur, almost
miraculously. And there are more to come.

At age 40, one does not expect to be blindsided by deeply submerged issues
that catch one by surprise. You kind of get into a comfort zone and think
you know yourself pretty good, ha ha.  But I am a meditator and this is what
they say happens - if you quit installing new crap to deal with all the
time, and do the work, what happens is that the deeper stuff comes up to be
worked with and then subsides. If you can develop compassion for yourself,
this (healing thru dealing with, using meditation) is a way of falling in
love with yourself over and over as you heal. And naturally, this leads to
greater love and compassion for others.

Because of the drastic halt in my activity and being forced to use
meditation or go nuts, I have received the gift of the beginning of deep
healing of incest-survivor issues, and even the significant scars of the
death of my marriage. Had I not been forced to meditate in the way that I
have for the past month, I  daresay that these issues would NOT have
surfaced to be dealt with and they most certainly would not have begun
healing. Last night I actually got a good glimpse of how I shut love out and
how afraid I am to risk, and how that has affected other people in my life.
My relationship with my mother is exponentially closer and more alive than
it has ever been, out of my increased willingness to share myself, and let
her love in.

I make a practice of having little post it notes around my house and car -
every where I look, which say "This is perfect". Even though they seem to
fade into the background after a while, I know my spirit still sees them.
And this injury to my body has been a very ironic and amazing gift to my
soul. A perfect tool for my spiritual healing. But only because I could
refrain from assigning it the value of catastrophe. And that ability is what
I have gained from learning to meditate.

As anger
can be
the barrier and doorway
to strength,

so hurt
can be
the doorway and barrier
to compassion

If you are unwilling to acknowledge or be with your pain, it will be
hard to experience compassion for yourself or others.

The [internal voice of judgment] specializes in attacking you for
feeling your pain….

Compassion is a direct antidote to [judgment's] poison…

Tenderness dissolves the harshness;
allowing undoes rejection.
The critical stance loses grounding and falls away.
Where there was structure now there is spacious holding;
where there was belief and knowledge,
now there is the truth of the [potentiality of the] unknown


…your judge [in a hindrance in the form of doubt]
will turn its attention to the compassion
and attack it in an effort to create
reaction and hardness again…

For the judge to allow compassion without comment
would threaten its
fundamental perspective—
that the world is a dangerous place and
you are alone and require constant and critical attention to survive.

Byron Brown in Soul Without Shame (p. 192)


Comment:

Can you see how this dynamic plays out on both an individual and
tribal level?

Byron Brown quoted above is not a Buddhist teacher, but his thinking
is in line with Buddhist teaching. He is weaving together western
psychological knowing with a spiritual perspective. By working with
and analyzing the operation of judgment one thing he does is
neutralize the heavy hand of the western concept of sin, as does the
Buddhist practice with its emphasis on skillful action and mindful
awareness leading to freedom of choice – or freedom of non-action.

Please notice that the perspective described above does not demand
deep investigation into causes and conditions, but accepts them as
the way things are. Though deep investigation is helpful and
important in our process, our response or relationship to causes and
conditions is what is most important. It is sometimes trememdously
useful to investigate. It is always skillful to be interested and
open to what is true in the moment– this view from my
understanding of Theravada teachings.

In the Wednesday sitting we have been doing the Theravadan practice
of Compassion and are spending a little time now with the teachings
of compassion from a Theravada perspective, from voices besides
mine. In doing so, I hope you will find how closely these teachings
are aligned and come to appreciate their unique valuable insights.



Psychological work and spiritual practice are valuable partners. I
would like to take a moment to recommend to you Harvey Aronson's
new book - Buddhist Practice on Western Ground: Reconciling Eastern
Ideals and Western Psychology.

Sharon Salzberg says about this book:

"The differences and convergences of Buddhist perspectives and
psychotherapeutic understandings—and what these mean for us as
practitioners—are described with wisdom, sensitivity, and a great
deal of compassion."

Dear friends,

A question that comes up in every course: "I am trying to do
meditation as you advise, but I can't get it right. I can observe
my breathing, but thoughts keep arising. I keep going into the
future and going into the past. I'm trying very hard to do
everything you have told us to do, but can't get it right."


What I need to say to you is very important:
          You can't do it wrong!

Meditation is a personal exploration or investigation into our own
experience. It is a discovery process, not a set of rules of how to
use the mind. Please see my directions as suggestions or pointers.
Try them out and see what happens. You are learning to work with
mind and trust your ability to best know what to do for yourself.

Thoughts about past and future are very common, even with lots of
experience. What is different is that with meditation practice we
learn to see thoughts or sensations as they are happening! As they
occur.

We can then intervene if we choose to. But we don't try to stop
thought and we don't try to make anything happen. We don't follow or
entertain thoughts. We don't try to get rid of anything.

Skillful intervention, usually and especially early in practice, is

* To simply notice what is happening (noting, if you like, "thinking" or
"sensing," but doing so very softly -- Noting is not something you need to do
all the time, though it does help get clear about what is happening)
* To choose not to follow thoughts
* To choose not to push any experience away
* To practice returning to a simple balance that doesn't close out experience,
that doesn't cling to experience
* To choose to gently return to the anchor in the breath over and over again -
Every returning is a choice that develops your skill in kindly coming back again
to just being with your breath, your body, and yourself in the moment, a "muscle
training," an establishment of memory which eventually automatically comes back
to the breath for a rest, for reprieve.

The most important skill you need to incorporate is self-kindness.
We don't learn meditation the way we learn anything else. We learn
by letting go, by accepting things as they are. By just being nice
to ourselves.

Think of coming to your formal practice and your practice of
returning to the breath during the day as a simple kindness you do
for yourself, a cool and refreshing drink of water for the mind.

Many Blessings to you,

Mary

Mary Rees


From course:
Going Beyond What You Believe to be True – First Steps
Copyright 2004 Mary Rees

Compassion and pain (from Byron Brown, Soul Without Shame, pp 190-
191)

Compassion is a natural response to hurt and pain in yourself or in
another. The heart softens and opens. Compassion feels warm and
soothing, like a gentle salve. It gives the heart the strength to
feel the pain as well as the truth of the situation causing it. Most
adult pain cannot be removed by external action, nor is it resolved
by logic or cheering up. Frequently, suffering arises from
situations you can't or don't want to change, or it remains with you
from experiences you had long ago. It takes a large heart to be
touched by the reality of such pain and not rush to change or stop
it. When you feel the presence of compassion for your own hurt, you
know it will be all right and you don't have to do anything, change
anything, or fix anything. Yes, the hurt is there, and you can be
with it because there is compassion in your heart. Compassion arises
from a heartfelt under-standing of your own truth, and it supports
your willingness to be with that truth.

...

When your hurt is treated by others as something to be avoided or
gotten rid of, the implicit rejection and hostility support a state
of disconnection inside you. In contrast, being with someone who has
a kind, open, and accepting heart allows you to feel embraced in
your hurt. You no longer have to hide the hurt, pretend you feel
differently, find a way to fix things, or know what it all means.
You can simply be with what is arising and feel supported, seen, and
understood.

Feeling your own compassion is like having spaciousness in your
chest, room to breathe and be with your feelings. The unconscious
holding against the pain in the heart relaxes. You can rest in what
is true: there was hurt; that can't be changed. You feel the pain,
and you are larger than it .You experience a sense of allowing and
support for the truth, without needing to do or be anything. The
warmth of tender kindness is mixed with the cool freshness of
reality.

-----Original Message-----
From: justbeingher [mailto:eparker15@...]
Sent: Monday, September 06, 2004 2:36 PM
To: citta101@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [citta101] cinema with spirit

Dear Friends,

There is a movie coming to our area this month, which you may like to
know about. It's called "What The (bleep)Do We Know?

You can view the website at www.whatthebleep.com

The movie is an interesting look into how we create our own world by
our words and thoughts, and it questions what we think is "real". 14
scientists had input in the movie, and it is a combination of
interview and drama.

If anyone is in a group called Spiritual Cinema, you may want to
forward this information. I talked to someone who got a promo pass a
few weeks ago, and he says he plans to see it several more times.

Check it out and have fun!
Evelyn Parker

Citta 101 Deepening 	 September 9, 2004 	 Volume 4.3a

"…Spiritual awareness and the quest for enlightenment do not
arise spontaneously in harmony with our natural modes of world-
engagement, but require a turn `against the current' a break
away from out instinctual urges for expansion and enjoyment and the
embarkment in a different direction. This break is precipitated by
the encounter with suffering…

Yet for suffering to become an effective spur to spiritual awakening
it is not enough merely to encounter it…the urge for liberation
can only come in when pain and sorrow have been confronted with
reflective awareness …"

Bhikkhu Bodi, commentary on Upanisa Sutta.


Comment

Please note, this quotation does not mean there is something
inherently wrong with expansion and enjoyment…unless it keeps us
from seeing what is true, unless we use either as an escape from
reality.

Sutta Study: This quotation is from the commentary of Bhikkhu Bodhi
on the Upanisa Sutta in the segment on Faith, our sutta study theme
for this month.  www.citta101.org/zsutta.htm

Wednesday group: Please join us in the exercise below  - a practice
the Wednesday midday group is doing this week with Compassion.

When we are in touch with pain, without preempting it, there is the
possibility for contact and understanding, then our hearts can open
in deep compassion.

Monday night we will start a beginning series (on Monday only –
not enough registrations for Wednesday). Though I haven't done pre
and post testing in my dharma courses (only in my MBSR), this time I
will offer the option for pre and post measures of self-compassion
the first and last night for all group members participating in this
series.


Practice: Being with Pain

The next time you are with someone who is feeling pain or hurt,
practice opening your heart to this person's experience and
notice any impulses to move away or come to the rescue. Are you
tempted to explain or analyze the difficulty, offer suggestions,
voice anger at the situation, say it will be all right, even offer
physical comfort? If you speak, try simply to acknowledge your
awareness of the hurt or difficulty. Remember, the practice is to
provide support for being with the pain. This may be especially
difficult if the person wants to escape the pain, but practice it
anyway. Notice what happens.

Exercise from work with compassion in Byron Brown's Soul Without
Shame


Many Blessings –
Particularly remember in your Metta and Compassion practice Bill
Ridlehuber's mother (Jeanne's mother in law) and Ulla's
health…as well as yourselves individually, all our sangha and all
beings everywhere.

Mary

Mary Rees
www.citta101.org
713-662-2743

Dear Friends,

There is a movie coming to our area this month, which you may like to
know about. It's called "What The (bleep)Do We Know?

You can view the website at www.whatthebleep.com

The movie is an interesting look into how we create our own world by
our words and thoughts, and it questions what we think is "real". 14
scientists had input in the movie, and it is a combination of
interview and drama.

If anyone is in a group called Spiritual Cinema, you may want to
forward this information. I talked to someone who got a promo pass a
few weeks ago, and he says he plans to see it several more times.

Check it out and have fun!
Evelyn Parker

Hi Mary,

I apologize for not recognizing your very good Citta references.  Sharon S
has really proved to be a great resource and comfort from her tapes as well.
I had read and highlighted p.93, especially "...you are suffering in some
way (from hindrances) and the next sentence, which I don't do enough, "With
this realization comes compassion, tenderness, and open-heartedness toward
yourself."  I forget that by not being softer to myself, I isolate myself
and then find myself filled with worry and anxiety, thus not able to reach
out and enjoy others.  Ruth Leddy and I are still sitting and having tea on
Tues evenings.  It's a good thing!

The new job on Wednesday's has turned out to be a nice change in pace,
different and does pay well!   So, Blessed Be, I now have TWTh to work and
the bookend days of Mon and Fri for ME.

Much appreciation for your good work,

Lena Marie



----- Original Message -----
From: "Mary Rees" <marees@...>
To: <citta101@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, September 02, 2004 1:14 PM
Subject: [citta101] Citta 101 Vol 4.3


Citta 101              September 2, 2004      Volume 4.3


"It's important to recognize doubt as doubt, because it's
very seductive. When doubt is governing your experience, it provides
distance, and this gives you a sense of mastery. But when you find
how limited the mind state truly is, you can very gently let go of
it, reconnect, and settle the mind. Then you can bring the attention
back to what's actually happening, with a willingness to learn."

Sharon Salzberg, Insight Meditation Workbook, p.93


"In the practice of meditation, we have to be quite serious, brave
and courageous, to really investigate, to dare to look at even the
most unpleasant conditions in life, rather than seek escape in
tranquility or forget about everything."

Ajahn Sumedho, The Way It Is, p.16


***
CONTENTS:
Upcoming Events
No sitting Monday Sept 6, 2004
Basic instructional sequence begins Sept 13 and Sept 15
Sutta study this month - September 8, 2004
Subsite Developments
Powerful film free and open to the public - September 22
Membership Query
Regional listserve

WEBSITE UPDATE: September 1, 2004, www.citta101.org


***
UPCOMING EVENTS

Weekly Sittings:
The Monday night group will not meet September 6. The building will
be closed since it is a holiday. Wednesday group will meet as usual.

Beginning Sequence:
The following week, the second full week in September is a good time
for new people to join and a good time to refresh your formal
practice! Both Monday evening and Wednesday daytime groups will be
doing a basic course, with a day of mindfulness incorporated as part
of this experience. A registration form is on the website at
www.citta101.org/sept04.htm

Please help by posting a flyer ASAP wherever there might be interest
in meditation - There is a flyer on the website in PDF format
- www.citta101.org/200409course.pdf  Thank you!

Day of Mindfulness: October 16th (location to be announced)

Sutta Study:
Our next meeting date (which is roughly once a month) will be
September 8, 6:30 at my house. Please call 713-662-2743. This is a
continuation of the Study we started in July around the Upanisa
Sutta, Transcendental Dependent Arising. If you are interested,
participate through the online course joining us in real time
whenever possible. You will be able to catch up easily; we are
working slowly, savoring the teachings.


***
SUBSITE DEVELOPMENTS (integration of meditation and lively
participation!)

Culture (Hijacking Catastrophe, 9/11, Fear and the Selling of
American Empire -
There will be a free showing of this powerful film Wednesday,
September 22, at DiverseWorks. It is a well-documented educational
film, important to be informed about, narrated by Julian Bond. The
film presents a vivid picture and clear explication of the direction
and intention of current administrative policy.

We showed the pre release clips of the film in December. The sharing
and discussion turned out to be a hopeful and motivating experience.
Please join us for this important film and for an exhilarating
experience of what sangha can be!

There is also, currently showing at DiverseWorks, an art
installation focusing on U.S. presidential elections.  Seating is
for only 100. Doors open at 7 PM. See www.diverseworks.com for
directions.

MBSR/MBAT
Another public MBSR/MBAT course is scheduled February and March 2005

Creating Course
The next Creating Course is not scheduled yet, but will  probably
start in November or December.

***
Membership Query
Will you take some time and let me know what I can do to help
support you in your meditation? Day-long retreats, weekend Retreats,
Social events, neighborhood courses? I'm sure there are things I
haven't considered.  I've been offering what I think would be
good for us, but I haven't really asked you what you'd like!
Every
response will be appreciated and taken into consideration! You can
send ideas directly to me or, better yet, post them on the citta101
listserve for all of us to consider!

Regional Listserve
I offer another listserve, IMPractice, Insight Meditation Practice.
It is a regional service that has been managed for a couple years
now by sangha leaders from cities in Texas and surrounding states.
Through it, you can receive timely notification about retreats
throughout our region and by all groups who wish to post Insight
Meditation events. Through this IMPractice listserve, I can assure
that all of the regional sangha have the opportunity to post and be
notified of each other's instructional events. Visit the
IMPractice homepage at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/IMPractice


Peace and Metta,
Mary

Mary Rees
713-662-2743
mary@...

A formatted edition of this newsletter will be posted on the Files
segment of the listserve homesite at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/citta101/files







Yahoo! Groups Links

-----Original Message-----
From: Lena M. Brooks [mailto:thinktreez@...]
Sent: Thursday, September 02, 2004 7:22 PM
To: citta101@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [citta101] Citta 101 Vol 4.3

Hi Mary,

So I'm at diverse works and tons of stuff comes up and none get me to the
directions to the film.  Help!

Lena Brooks


----- Original Message -----
From: "Mary Rees" <marees@...>
To: <citta101@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, September 02, 2004 1:14 PM
Subject: [citta101] Citta 101 Vol 4.3



Culture (Hijacking Catastrophe, 9/11, Fear and the Selling of
American Empire -
There will be a free showing of this powerful film Wednesday,
September 22, at DiverseWorks. It is a well-documented educational
film, important to be informed about, narrated by Julian Bond. The
film presents a vivid picture and clear explication of the direction
and intention of current administrative policy.

We showed the pre release clips of the film in December. The sharing
and discussion turned out to be a hopeful and motivating experience.
Please join us for this important film and for an exhilarating
experience of what sangha can be!

There is also, currently showing at DiverseWorks, an art
installation focusing on U.S. presidential elections.  Seating is
for only 100. Doors open at 7 PM. See www.diverseworks.com for
directions.

-----Original Message-----
From: Lena M. Brooks [mailto:thinktreez@...]
Sent: Thursday, September 02, 2004 7:22 PM
To: citta101@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [citta101] Citta 101 Vol 4.3

Hi Mary,

So I'm at diverse works and tons of stuff comes up and none get me to the
directions to the film.  Help!

Lena Brooks


----- Original Message -----
From: "Mary Rees" <marees@...>
To: <citta101@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, September 02, 2004 1:14 PM
Subject: [citta101] Citta 101 Vol 4.3



Culture (Hijacking Catastrophe, 9/11, Fear and the Selling of
American Empire -
There will be a free showing of this powerful film Wednesday,
September 22, at DiverseWorks. It is a well-documented educational
film, important to be informed about, narrated by Julian Bond. The
film presents a vivid picture and clear explication of the direction
and intention of current administrative policy.

We showed the pre release clips of the film in December. The sharing
and discussion turned out to be a hopeful and motivating experience.
Please join us for this important film and for an exhilarating
experience of what sangha can be!

There is also, currently showing at DiverseWorks, an art
installation focusing on U.S. presidential elections.  Seating is
for only 100. Doors open at 7 PM. See www.diverseworks.com for
directions.

Hi Mary,

So I'm at diverse works and tons of stuff comes up and none get me to the
directions to the film.  Help!

Lena Brooks


----- Original Message -----
From: "Mary Rees" <marees@...>
To: <citta101@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, September 02, 2004 1:14 PM
Subject: [citta101] Citta 101 Vol 4.3



Culture (Hijacking Catastrophe, 9/11, Fear and the Selling of
American Empire -
There will be a free showing of this powerful film Wednesday,
September 22, at DiverseWorks. It is a well-documented educational
film, important to be informed about, narrated by Julian Bond. The
film presents a vivid picture and clear explication of the direction
and intention of current administrative policy.

We showed the pre release clips of the film in December. The sharing
and discussion turned out to be a hopeful and motivating experience.
Please join us for this important film and for an exhilarating
experience of what sangha can be!

There is also, currently showing at DiverseWorks, an art
installation focusing on U.S. presidential elections.  Seating is
for only 100. Doors open at 7 PM. See www.diverseworks.com for
directions.

Dear friends,

Yesterday you received some mailings from the listserve. Two of them were
notifications of files posted on this listserve homepage. The first I deleted
because it was the incorrect file.

If you clicked to go to the files and were not able to access, it is because you
do not have a Yahoo ID. You do not need a Yahoo ID to send and receive messages
on this listserve.

Because many of you do not have a Yahoo ID and can't access files, information
that is most important will be sent in an email like this one, or posted on the
website.

Mary

Hello,

This email message is a notification to let you know that
a file has been uploaded to the Files area of the citta101
group.

   File        : /20040902Citta101.doc
   Uploaded by : marywrees <marees@...>
   Description : Citta 101 Newsletter Vol 4.3

You can access this file at the URL:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/citta101/files/20040902Citta101.doc

To learn more about file sharing for your group, please visit:
http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/groups/files

Regards,

marywrees <marees@...>

Citta 101              	 September 2, 2004      Volume 4.3


"It's important to recognize doubt as doubt, because it's
very seductive. When doubt is governing your experience, it provides
distance, and this gives you a sense of mastery. But when you find
how limited the mind state truly is, you can very gently let go of
it, reconnect, and settle the mind. Then you can bring the attention
back to what's actually happening, with a willingness to learn."

Sharon Salzberg, Insight Meditation Workbook, p.93


"In the practice of meditation, we have to be quite serious, brave
and courageous, to really investigate, to dare to look at even the
most unpleasant conditions in life, rather than seek escape in
tranquility or forget about everything."

Ajahn Sumedho, The Way It Is, p.16


***
CONTENTS:
Upcoming Events
	 No sitting Monday Sept 6, 2004
	 Basic instructional sequence begins Sept 13 and Sept 15
	 Sutta study this month – September 8, 2004
Subsite Developments
	 Powerful film free and open to the public - September 22
Membership Query
Regional listserve

WEBSITE UPDATE: September 1, 2004, www.citta101.org


***
UPCOMING EVENTS

Weekly Sittings:
The Monday night group will not meet September 6. The building will
be closed since it is a holiday. Wednesday group will meet as usual.

Beginning Sequence:
The following week, the second full week in September is a good time
for new people to join and a good time to refresh your formal
practice! Both Monday evening and Wednesday daytime groups will be
doing a basic course, with a day of mindfulness incorporated as part
of this experience. A registration form is on the website at
www.citta101.org/sept04.htm

Please help by posting a flyer ASAP wherever there might be interest
in meditation – There is a flyer on the website in PDF format
– www.citta101.org/200409course.pdf  Thank you!

Day of Mindfulness: October 16th (location to be announced)

Sutta Study:
Our next meeting date (which is roughly once a month) will be
September 8, 6:30 at my house. Please call 713-662-2743. This is a
continuation of the Study we started in July around the Upanisa
Sutta, Transcendental Dependent Arising. If you are interested,
participate through the online course joining us in real time
whenever possible. You will be able to catch up easily; we are
working slowly, savoring the teachings.


***
SUBSITE DEVELOPMENTS (integration of meditation and lively
participation!)

Culture (Hijacking Catastrophe, 9/11, Fear and the Selling of
American Empire -
There will be a free showing of this powerful film Wednesday,
September 22, at DiverseWorks. It is a well-documented educational
film, important to be informed about, narrated by Julian Bond. The
film presents a vivid picture and clear explication of the direction
and intention of current administrative policy.

We showed the pre release clips of the film in December. The sharing
and discussion turned out to be a hopeful and motivating experience.
Please join us for this important film and for an exhilarating
experience of what sangha can be!

There is also, currently showing at DiverseWorks, an art
installation focusing on U.S. presidential elections.  Seating is
for only 100. Doors open at 7 PM. See www.diverseworks.com for
directions.

MBSR/MBAT
Another public MBSR/MBAT course is scheduled February and March 2005

Creating Course
The next Creating Course is not scheduled yet, but will  probably
start in November or December.

***
Membership Query
Will you take some time and let me know what I can do to help
support you in your meditation? Day-long retreats, weekend Retreats,
Social events, neighborhood courses? I'm sure there are things I
haven't considered.  I've been offering what I think would be
good for us, but I haven't really asked you what you'd like!
Every
response will be appreciated and taken into consideration! You can
send ideas directly to me or, better yet, post them on the citta101
listserve for all of us to consider!

Regional Listserve
I offer another listserve, IMPractice, Insight Meditation Practice.
It is a regional service that has been managed for a couple years
now by sangha leaders from cities in Texas and surrounding states.
Through it, you can receive timely notification about retreats
throughout our region and by all groups who wish to post Insight
Meditation events. Through this IMPractice listserve, I can assure
that all of the regional sangha have the opportunity to post and be
notified of each other's instructional events. Visit the
IMPractice homepage at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/IMPractice


Peace and Metta,
Mary

Mary Rees
713-662-2743
mary@...

A formatted edition of this newsletter will be posted on the Files
segment of the listserve homesite at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/citta101/files

Hello,

This email message is a notification to let you know that
a file has been uploaded to the Files area of the citta101
group.

   File        : /20040902Citta101.doc
   Uploaded by : marywrees <marees@...>
   Description : Flyer/Poster for September Six Week Course

You can access this file at the URL:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/citta101/files/20040902Citta101.doc

To learn more about file sharing for your group, please visit:
http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/groups/files

Regards,

marywrees <marees@...>

Dear friends (my aplogies if you already received this message
through IMPractice),

This message is my response to a talk I heard Thursday night by a
computer consultant.

The email environment is becoming increasingly unreliable, this due
to increased security necessary for keeping out unwanted mail and
viruses. I am responding in the following ways and suggest we use
similar policies on the listserve...

using less HTML - though the Citta 101 newsletter, for now, is still
in HTML

fewer attachment - when I add attachments I will mention the
attachment and what it contains

more information will be available on the website or through website
deliveries (we can also post more on the home page of the listserve)

These measures  will not stop the most aggressive screeners from
preventing delivery, but it will help. In most cases this will be
with corporate accounts...and of course, I/we never want to send
mail where it isn't wanted anyway.

I hope this message is also a heads up so that if you receive
something suspicious...purportedly from me, you will check it out.

Though I have several addresses I will maintain maryrees@... as my
primary address (some other addresses are flags to me of nature of
communications - for this site I use maress@...). Though my
primary address has at times been absconded for some unsavory
purposes, I don't think changing addresses is the response I want to
make...I'd just have to change it again, and again. And I like using
my own name. I just suggest that you be careful, not only with mail
from me, but from other sources.

I make a habit of periodically screening mail that ends up in my
spam files, I hope you will do the same, looking for names you
recognize...like mine!!

If there is anything anyone else would like to add to this
communication and security statement, please do so. Are there other
considerations we need to make?

Thank you and Best wishes!

Mary


Mary Rees
713-662-2743
www.citta101.org

Mind creates the abyss,
the heart crosses it.
-Nisargadatta

Old Chinese saying goes, “To understand the nature of the water, look at the
waves.” Grasping is a wave; anger is a wave’ sleepiness, restlessness,
doubt – they’re all waves in the mind. To understand the true nature of your
experience, your mind, your life, you look at the waves. You don’t have to
flatten them out – you couldn't if you tried. You can’t possibly control
their arising, and you don’t need to despair at their strength or frequency.
That’s all quite out of your hands; it’s an impersonal arising due to the
fact that various conditions have come together to create these events.

Sharon Salzberg in Insight Meditation Workbook


We can’t stop the things that affect us in life – such as the weather, the
economy, family problems, our background, our opportunity or lack of
opportunity. But we can penetrate all these conditions – which are
impermanent and not-self. This is the path of transcendence; transcending
the mortal condition through awareness of the mortal condition.

Ajahn Sumedo in The Way It Is --


Monday night we will continue working with hindrances, but within the
context of fundamental wisdom teachings, for without the understandings of
wisdom teachings our practice could easily be mere rote behavior, practicing
to be practicing instead of to be free, unskillful effort typical of
ordinary ways of doing things.

Next week we will listen to segments of a talk on hindrances that Joseph
gave on a retreat I attended in 2002. It contains instruction to deal with
immediate current experience. The talk reinforces topics we have been
working with the past few weeks.

This is another simple teaching that can also be deeply explored for its
profundity.

Monday September 13 we'll begin a six week introductory series. During that
time our work will be primarily experiential exploration encompassing the
range of instruction. In ongoing sessions (after and until the six week
series) we will again delve into exploration of segments of the basic course
in more depth, experientially and, now, even a little philosophically.

***

Practice suggestion for the next few weeks:
Don't try to do this all at once. Select what appeals to you most or what is
most challenging. Focus on one question at a time.

Do you notice hindrances in both formal and informal practice? Can you
notice them both in their arising and in their disappearance?

Can you sustain attention to them, investigating concomitant or co-arising
experiences?

Can you see that there is something you may be resisting? Perhaps a sense of
things being mundane or even a sense of existential despair? Can you stay
with awareness through to the emptiness?

Can you let yourself open to the context of things, the stillness that
contains and permeates experience?

Is there ever a quality of fullness that arises when you stay with the
“mundane” or the existential despair?
_____

If you have Sharon and Joseph’s Insight Mediation CD, you could use the
recording on hindrances during some of your sittings.

Let’s be doing Metta practice for ourselves and for each other.

Metta to you,

Mary



Mary Rees
713-662-2743
www.citta101.org

Mind creates the abyss,
the heart crosses it.
-Nisargadatta

Citta 101   Deepening                July 22, 2004         Volume 4.2

... one gets into the habit of saying, "No, I don't believe it," to
the different thoughts, feelings and experiences that we have, so we
can develop a callous streak towards our experience. It is like
thinking: "Don't touch it, don't believe it - it's just another
pattern of mind!"

When the clouds of ignorance start to dissipate and the sunlight of
true wisdom starts to appear, then in the same way, we unconsciously
shy away from, and become suspicious or negative towards the
brightness of our own mind. We tend to shut that out, simply out of
habit of negating all things. When we don't have a habit of negating
experience or conditions of mind, however, we allow the mind to
relax and to fully Know what is there when a condition of mind ends.
We feel more and more clearly the purity and intrinsic radiance of
mind.

- Ajahn Amaro, Silent Rain


CONTENTS:
	 Sutta Study
	 Upcoming Events
	 New developments on website
	 Listserve Information

WEBSITE UPDATE: www.citta101.org  July 19, 2004  (in process of
reorganization)

***
SUTTA  STUDY:
The Study we started in July is around the Upanisa Sutta,
Transcendental Dependent Arising, on line at
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/bps/wheels/wheel277.html. The
Ajahn Amaro quote above is a good lead in to this sutta. The study
is appropriate for those who have had instruction and a formal
meditation practice. We're creating an online course as we move
through the study in real time. Other more basic courses will
follow.

***
UPCOMING EVENTS
Creating Course meets five consecutive Wednesdays beginning August 4
at 7 PM. www.citta101.org/cyl0408.htm

Weekend non-residential August 13-15 – held at Spectrum Center at
new location in Houston, 4615 Post Oak Place, Suite 188.  Please
register to let me know you are going to attend. The form is online
at http://www.citta101.org/aug04.htm. As usual, Friday night is
essential for new people. Saturday (9-4) will be an immersion
experience in the range of practice of any retreat or course, on
opportunity in a concentrated period of time to deepen focus.

Sunday (10-2) we will take advantage of this developed focus by both
connecting with big mind, spaciousness, stillness, clarity,
simplicity and by investigating deeply one particular aspect of the
teachings…this time hindrances and their absence – as well a
little of what arises in their absence. We have been working on
different facets of this teaching on Monday nights, Wednesday mid-
day and in the sutta study. Not only will it be a good follow-up for
the groups, it is a great opportunity for those who can't attend
these groups to benefit from our explorations.

Another public MBSR/MBAT course is not scheduled at this time, but
some material will be available on line soon as opportunity to begin
work until a public course is available.

***
New Developments on Website
Added Sitting Group - Please notice Lena Brooks and Ruth Leddy are
offering a Tuesday night sitting in Houston- sometimes Thursday. One
hour in the early evening for sitting, walking, talking - and
sometimes tea. See www.citta101.org/groups.htm

Added features – In the next few months I'll be posting
copyrighted writings on line. These include updated papers I've
written for various purposes, some dharma talks - all the things
I'm really interested in, but don't want to impose on the
whole
listserve. Some courses I've already taught will also be on line.
I hope you will check them out once in awhile, to see if there is
anything you find interesting.

PayPal – I've added some rudimentary but secure! on-line
donation options. I do not have legal status as a non-profit, so
though you can't deduct donations from taxes; you can practice
Dana and support the dhamma. I will appreciate anything you would
like to donate.


Peace and Metta,
Mary

Mary Rees
713-662-2743
mary@...

Dear Friends,

I was just going to write a note to let you know there will be no sitting
tomorrow night (Monday, July 5), but since it is the Fourth of July, I will
say a few words about it.

I hope you have been having a wonderful holiday weekend - a celebration of
what we, as US citizens, stand for. I usually ignore this holiday (the bombs
bursting in air part), but this year I reread the Declaration of
Independence and am appreciating again who we are as a people.

My apologies to anyone who doesn't want to mix spiritual practice and
politics (I understand, appreciate and respect your feelings), but I'd like
to share with (and empower) those who are interested, a link for support in
patriotic action through our Western Buddhist sanghas
http://www.spiritedaction.org/. This is a project of one of the Spirit Rock
teachers, Jamie Baraz.

The film mentioned on the Spirited Action site is from the clip we showed in
December. It could be considered as an educational follow up to Michael
Moore's film, though it was in production at the same time, by an entirely
different group of people. I will have it on DVD in a couple weeks and will
offer a showing for anyone interested.

Please let me know if any of the following applies to you: (1) you'd like to
see it, (2) you can offer a better place to show a small group than my house
(small TV), or (3) you can arrange through local media a public showing (in
any of our cities - I can connect you with the film producers to support
this effort).

Blessings to all, whatever your political views - and peace,

Mary

We will sit next week - the theme: working with restlessness, including, as
with all hindrances, challenging our view and our belief in substantiality
of existence as we understand it!

Mary Rees
713-662-2743
www.citta101.org

Mind creates the abyss,
the heart crosses it.
-Nisargadatta

There is a beautiful expression that the Buddha used, the 'pabhassara
citta' - the radiant mind, the mind of clear light. He pointed out very clearly
that the mind's nature is inherently radiant. Its brightness is not something
that we have to produce, rather it is the intrinsic nature of mind, the citta.

"Cittam Pabhassaram agantukehi kielsehi." "The nature of the mind is radiant,
defilements are only visitors." The more we bring forth the quality of wisdom,
which is non-conceptual and non-dualistic, then the more we experience the mind
of light.

- Ajahn Amaro in Silent Rain


Mary Rees
713-662-2743
www.citta101.org




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I'd like to share with you a passage I read last week that has been staying
with me. I've found it a great support for both formal and informal
practice. It is Ajahn Amaro's writing.

The passage is also a good support for work we are doing in the sittings,
Mondays this month with hindrances or common basic unskillful qualities of
mind, Wednesdays with wholesome qualities of mind. Though we work with the
mind, maintaining balance, equilibrium, equanimity; our fundamental practice
is just being with what is, to clearly see whatever is in our current
experience without pushing away or hanging on, without grasping or aversion.
We use only just enough effort, right effort, to maintain balance...like
living our life as playing a treasured musical instrument...

As the day begins, we ready our minds; we come together, compose ourselves
and open our minds to the coming day. How today will be is unknown to us,
isn’t it? We might be eager and interested, hopeful, curious, inquisitive,
enthusiastic; we might be feeling depressed, weary and downtrodden, fearful
and threatened by what we might have to face during today; or maybe we have
mixed feelings—hope and fear mingled together and stirred up with the
general run of habitual patterns of thought. How did you go to bed last
night? Did you go to sleep all bright and joyful, warm and cozy at the end
of the day, full of delights of the Dhamma or were you weeping into your
pillow? However it was, we simply reflect, we look very closely at what
happens to be here.

We experience constant changes of mood: feelings of inspiration and
desperation, hope disappointment, possibility, negativity coherence and
distraction, disintegration. We look at these and tend to thing everything
is going well or everything is going badly. But the position that we take
with all of this in practicing Dhamma is to reflect upon it: to observe the
changes in nature within our own minds just as we observe the changes in
nature in the world around us. Night: the qualities of dark, dimness, the
silence, stars, privacy end rest. This fades out and then there’s light,
color, personal contact moving and functioning with other human beings, the
need to engage and to be involved. The formal meditation of the early
morning changes into walking, eating, working, then shifts back into formal
meditation again. In the midst of all of this we come to the place of
silence, the place inner quietude.



We try to use all of the aspects of our experience to bring us to
realization of that stillness, where the habitual buzzing of thoughts,
moods, and emotions is understood and not given solidity, is seen as
transparent, this is why we learn to reflect and to bring such obvious
things to mind as the body and the breath. We keep bringing the mind to
settle upon how the movement feels, what the nature of our experience is
right now. To witness the patterns of consciousness that are there and the
silence within which it all occurs, the stillness within which it all moves.



Moment after moment through the day, look—reflect that there is just this:
the color of the grass, the feeling of the breeze, the eating of a piece of
toast, taste, it is just like this. A drink of water is just like this. The
body feels like this. Nameless dread, anxiety feels like this. Buoyancy,
ebullience and energy feel like this.

Ajahn Amaro

Silent Rain
Abhayagiri Forest Monastery


Mary Rees
713-662-2743
www.citta101.org

Mind creates the abyss,
the heart crosses it.
-Nisargadatta


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