--- In iacopen@yahoogroups.com, gimmeabreak6274 <no_reply@y...> wrote:
> I have signed up and read all of the messages posted on this
> group and have to laugh at some point at how grown people can
> become so petty and accusatory....Remember, when you point
> your finger at someone else, four are pointing back at you!
>
> As an adoptive parent (my child is almost 7), I understand the
> frustrations of waiting and wanting. But to accuse the IAC when
> it is clear FROM THE START that the birthparents choose the
> family, is crazy. There is no other word for it....I have no doubt
> that watching families wait is difficult for staff. And yet, you
are
> posting messages about how they don't care, how they can get a
> new job if they don't like their salary, etc. ARE YOU LISTENING
> TO YOURSELVES? YOU SOUND LIKE SCHOOLCHILDREN!
>
> I believe that there are bad people in this world and I believe
that
> not everyone who has ever worked at the IAC is great....but to
> suggest that they exist to make money and not create families is
> ridiculous. Those are words from bitter people who still have
> issues surrounding their infertility. Life is not always fair and
> certainly there are many things about the open adoption process
> that are not fair to adoptive parents....
> I just joined this group and was and remain amazed by your
comments. Yes, each person should and does take some responsability
in their own adoption however, when you are lied to during a
difficult time, you can and will blame the person who lied. IAC lies
to their potential new clients. They give drawings of statistics for
their advertising efforts, however they are lying to you. In many
cases (not all) they tell you of advertising efforts that do not
exist. Countless people are not wrong. I too was successful but not
because of attitude or lack of blame but because I went out and got
the situation myself. Do not sit back and tell a group of people
that they are all wrong to critize when their lives are being turned
upside down and their dreams of parents and going away because of who
they trusted. Maybe you are one of the lucky ones that did get
picked. Maybe you live in an area where they actually to advertise
but these people do not. Count your lucky stars and be the adoptive
parent you should be by lending support to the people that are still
trying not matter the odds. You sound more like you are bragging and
this is not the place to do so.


> I'm curious if those of you that dated asked for all the money
> back that you spent on a girlfriend/boyfriend just because it
didn't
> work out? It's a very similar thing--you have to know that there
is
> a chance you will never get picked. And if you can honestly say
> you did not realize that, then you need to evaluate YOURSELF not
> the IAC. Because they are up front from the beginning that it is
> the birthmother's choice!
>
> Those that have waited awhile....Have you changed your letter
> regularly? If it's not getting a response, it's time to try
something
> different! Have you always sent in letters when requested? Or
> has it taken awhile to make more? Have you been on the web
> site from the beginning? So many things play a part in this
> process....Everything I was ever told to do I did! And I waited
> three years for my precious baby!
>
> There comes a time in everyone's life where you have to take a
> hard look at yourself....Those of you posting on this group should
> stop and do this--if you can honestly say afterward that you have
> PLAYED NO PART IN YOUR WAIT--then you truly have my
> empathy. Because waiting and not understanding sucks--I know
> that. But if you realize even a tiny bit of responsiblity, then
stop
> posting on this group and start changing the things you know
> you can!!!!! Focus your energy on something positive, not
> negative.