I have signed up and read all of the messages posted on this
group and have to laugh at some point at how grown people can
become so petty and accusatory....Remember, when you point
your finger at someone else, four are pointing back at you!

As an adoptive parent (my child is almost 7), I understand the
frustrations of waiting and wanting. But to accuse the IAC when
it is clear FROM THE START that the birthparents choose the
family, is crazy. There is no other word for it....I have no doubt
that watching families wait is difficult for staff. And yet, you are
posting messages about how they don't care, how they can get a
new job if they don't like their salary, etc. ARE YOU LISTENING
TO YOURSELVES? YOU SOUND LIKE SCHOOLCHILDREN!

I believe that there are bad people in this world and I believe that
not everyone who has ever worked at the IAC is great....but to
suggest that they exist to make money and not create families is
ridiculous. Those are words from bitter people who still have
issues surrounding their infertility. Life is not always fair and
certainly there are many things about the open adoption process
that are not fair to adoptive parents....

I'm curious if those of you that dated asked for all the money
back that you spent on a girlfriend/boyfriend just because it didn't
work out? It's a very similar thing--you have to know that there is
a chance you will never get picked. And if you can honestly say
you did not realize that, then you need to evaluate YOURSELF not
the IAC. Because they are up front from the beginning that it is
the birthmother's choice!

Those that have waited awhile....Have you changed your letter
regularly? If it's not getting a response, it's time to try something
different! Have you always sent in letters when requested? Or
has it taken awhile to make more? Have you been on the web
site from the beginning? So many things play a part in this
process....Everything I was ever told to do I did! And I waited
three years for my precious baby!

There comes a time in everyone's life where you have to take a
hard look at yourself....Those of you posting on this group should
stop and do this--if you can honestly say afterward that you have
PLAYED NO PART IN YOUR WAIT--then you truly have my
empathy. Because waiting and not understanding sucks--I know
that. But if you realize even a tiny bit of responsiblity, then stop
posting on this group and start changing the things you know
you can!!!!! Focus your energy on something positive, not
negative.