On Mon, Jul 13, 2009 at 9:31 AM, ch_prasad1<ch_prasad1@...> wrote:
> About feeling good: I feel better overall as I know that I have started
> investigating the problem rather than getting carried away.

Ok.

> Today I listened to some good songs to feel good when I started to get
> apprehensive about possible repitition of that incident.

Ah, looks so familiar! Sometime back I wrote to this list about
getting insulted (and raged, face getting pale, etc..) by a co-worker
when arguing over trivilaity (on which I was very attached by ideal).

First, I decided to investigate it. But was not very successful at it.
Then decided to get back to normal state first.

But over the new few days, even during those normal states, I would
get this apprehension that you mention about 'what if this repeats
again?' .. in fact, during this fear, I would actually re-experience
the insult. However, I had to *repeatedly* see the silliness of such
apprehensions .. which was easy to realize as these were imaginations
anyway.

> But I get stuck there and sometimes get depressed on moral/ethical
> grounds. I am too stubborn to look further or immune to be ashamed
> of the rottenness.

.. BUT not so easy as often the same moral/ethical conditioning would
prevent me from seeing the silliness of even this imaginary fear.

Investigative thought (IT): it is logically silly to waste this
moment by imagining fear/insult.
"I/me": ah, but X is the *right* thing to do
etc..

Well, it takes time. Hint: voice from "I/me" cannot be logical (no
morality/ethics can falsify a fact - eg: fact of something being
silly).

IT: still, it is logically silly to waste this moment by imagining fear/insult
IT: I will get back to the issue of righteousness of X later .. as
this is unrelated to our current issue.
"I/me": hmm

> We can do some
> favorite activity like reading, talking, playing, etc.)to feel good?

If am emotion is intense, such distractions have helped me before. But
when it is not that intense, trying to find the sillines in having the
emotion alone can get one back to feeling good.

-srid


PS: one more thing I wish you to inform is that in the beginning (when
one does not understand the method very well), several *re-reads* of
what Richard wrote about the method have helped me to actualize them
into practice.

PS: recently, I have begun to wonder if it is better to let go of the
'ego' as a whole (as hman/JJ suggested) by realizing its burden. the
closest I've come in regards to this is - by noticing whenever 'I'
tick (pride moment, saving face, preparing to save face, etc..). ah,
yes, I need to contrast such states to the states of felicity. therein
lies the door, I think...