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Joke # 1

Motivational Poster #22

http://bit.ly/c2N9Wc

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Joke # 2

Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon!

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Joke # 3

Chinese couple in bed

Husband says, "I want a sixty-nine."

His wife says, "You want beef and broccoli now?"

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Joke # 4

Q: Why do the French Smell?
A: So blind people can hate them too!

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Joke # 5

Health club

Five mornings a week, my husband goes to the health club, gets on the
stair-stepper, sets the timer, and buries his nose in a book. Recently, he
noticed an amazingly fit middle-aged woman who seemed

"It's not fair," he complained. "By the time I'm dragging myself off to the
showers, she's hopping back onto the stepper for yet *another* session!"

One day he came home with a sheepish grin. .

"Well," he said, "I just found out -- they're identical twins."

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Joke # 6

Car

Morris, a Russian man saves his rubles for twenty years to buy a new car. After
choosing the model and options he wants, he's not the least bit surprised or
even concerned to learn that it will take two years for the new car to be
delivered. He thanks the salesman and starts to leave, but as he reaches the
door he pauses and turns back to the salesman "Do you know which week two years
from now the new car will arrive?" he asks.

The salesman checks his notes and tells the Morris that it will be two years to
the exact week. The man thanks the salesman and starts out again, but upon
reaching the door, he turns back again.

"Could you possibly tell me what day of the week two years from now the car will
arrive?"

The salesman, mildly annoyed, checks his notes again and says that it will be
exactly two years from this week, on Thursday.

Morris thanks the salesman and once again starts to leave. Halfway though the
door, he hesitates, turns back, and walks up to the salesman.

"I'm sorry to be so much trouble, but do you know if that will be two years from
now on Thursday in the morning, or in the afternoon?"

Visibly irritated, the salesman flips through his papers yet another time and
says sharply that it will be in the afternoon, two years from now on Thursday.

"That's a relief!" says Morris. "The plumber is coming that morning."

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Joke # 7

Blondes at the university

The blondes at the university led by Suzy, were tired of not fitting in. They
were tired of other students ssuming they were just stupid bimbo's. They wanted
somewhere where they felt they belonged.

So Suzy pressured the administration to set up a new Department especially for
them. The university agreed and set up the Blonde Education Department.

Suzy and the blondes were ecstatic to have a department of their own where they
could gather without being ridiculed. They felt they really belonged now. They
wanted other students to see that they weren't just stupid bimbo's -- after all,
they now had their own department at the university.

So they now all proudly wear the official sweatshirt of the Blonde Education
Department designed by Suzy which sports the saying: "I Belong in B.E.D."

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Joke # 8

Q: What do you call a group of blondes on roller skates?
A: A mobile sperm bank.

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Joke # 9

Rude man

Over dinner, Jill said to John, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this
morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me;
he used really bad language; he even threatened me!"

"How did you meet this fellow?" John asked, very concerned.

Jill said, "Well, we met by accident. I hit him with the car."

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Joke # 10

Make woman scream

There was a black guy, a white guy, and a Chinese guy. They all had been in the
bar before and saw this gorgeous woman. Well they made a bet to see who could
make the woman scream.

The black guy goes in a comes out and the women is laughing,

Then the white guys goes in, well after he comes out she is laughing even
harder.

The Chinese guy goes in and after a few minutes she is screaming bloody murder.
Then he comes out, and the other two guys said how did you do that, and the
Chinese guy goes "Me play trick, me put hot sauce on my dick!"

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Joke # 11

Monk

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks
in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however,
that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.
So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if
someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up!
In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies

The head monk, says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but
you make a good point, my son.'

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original
manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for
hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him
banging his head against the wall and wailing. We missed the R ! We missed the R
! We missed the R !'

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The
young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, father?'With a choking voice, the
old abbot replies, 'The word was... CELEB R ATE !!!'

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Joke # 12

Q: What is a chastity belt?
A: A laborsaving device.

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SydesJokes Blog Posts

I Fought For You By Sound Tank

http://bit.ly/aFmC3v

Sall Town Prosecuting Attorney

http://bit.ly/gB4wd4

Japan Earthquake/Tsunami - Before & After #2

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Empty Roll

http://bit.ly/gycqhN

How to speak about Women and be "Politically Correct"

http://bit.ly/azCZil

Move funny posts --> http://SydesJokes.blogspot.com/

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SydesJokes Video Clips

Copying

http://bit.ly/9bNwhU

Cupid

http://bit.ly/cO1odz

Eddie Izzard - Ich Bin Ein Berliner

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Stationary Is Bad #1

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Pimp My Ride - Golf #3

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Other Joke Lists

1. THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

THE ABSOLUTE BEST jokes, cartoons, and humor on the net! sent via email, by
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3. TRAINING 2 LAUGH

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