I JOINED SRI CHINMOY'S ORGANIZATION IN 1972, AND LEFT IN 1989. I
JOINED AT THE AGE OF 20, A RESPONSIBLE ADULT. I WAS AT COLLEGE IN
LONDON, AND AT THE TAIL END OF SOME SERIOUS RECREATIONAL DRUG USE. IT
WAS ALSO A TIME WHEN EASTERN RELIGIONS WERE THE RAGE, AND IT
INTERSECTED CONVENIENTLY WITH MY DESIRE TO MOVE ON TO SOMETHING NEW
AND UPLIFTING.

LIKE MANY OF MY PEERS IN THE GROUP, WHAT STARTED OUT AS A REFRESHING
EXPERIENCE SOON TURNED INTO A CATCH 22 LIFE, WHERE SUSPENSION OF
DISBELIEF CREATED A MENTAL VORTEX THAT WAS HARD IF NOT IMPOSSIBLE FOR
ME TO ESCAPE. ON THE ONE HAND, WE HAD TAKEN A STEP AWAY FROM OUR
PREVIOUS LIVES, THAT REQUIRED US TO ACCEPT THAT THE DOUBTING
INTELLECT WAS THE PROBLEM, FOR WHICH THE ANSWER WAS TOTAL ACCEPTANCE
OF THE ILLOGICAL.... SO THAT IN SPITE OF A NAGGING DISBELIEF IN WHAT
WE WERE LED TO BELIEVE. WE COULD ONLY ASSUME THAT THERE WAS SOME
INTERNAL LOGIC THAT WE COULD AND WOULD SOON GRASP.

I SPENT FROM 1972 TO 1983 IN ENGLAND, AND I THEN CAME TO THE UNITED
STATES AT THAT TIME I STARTED TO BE ASKED BY CHINMOY TO DO VARIOUS
ART PROJECTS MOSTLY DECORATIVE..IN SERVICE OF HIS VARIOUS
ENTERTAINMENTS. BUT WHEN IN ABOUT 1985 HE STARTED LIFTING WEIGHTS, HE
DECIDED TO USE PHOTOGRAPHS OF HIMSELF DOING `SUPERHUMAN FEATS' OF
STRENGTH, AS YET ANOTHER VECTOR OF HIS DRIVE FOR PUBLICITY, FOR WHICH
HE HAD AN INSATIABLE APPETITE. IF HE DID NOT SUCCEED IN LIFTING
THESE RECORD AMOUNTS OF WEIGHT, IT WAS NOT FOR LACK OF TRYING, INDEED
HE DID LEGITIMATELY SUPPORT FAIRLY IMPRESSIVE AMOUNTS OF WEIGHT FOR A
MAN OF HIS AGE; HE WOULD STRUGGLE, FOR EXAMPLE, WITH TWO HANDS TO GET
A 100 POUND DUMBELL ABOVE HIS HEAD, AND THEN HOLD IT BRIEFLY ALOFT
WITH ONE HAND. SOON I WAS ASKED TO COME TO HIS HOUSE, WHERE HE WOULD
INDICATE FOR ME TO DRAW CLOSER TO HIM...`Good Boy' HE WOULD SAY( I AM
PARAPHRASING HERE) ,` IS IT NOT POSSIBLE TO MAKE THIS THIS LITTLE
PIECE OF THE MACHINE LOWER? YOU CAN SEE IT IS ALREADY LIFTED....BUT
FOR THE PRESS?.............SO THAT THEY CAN SEE CLEARLY???'....

WELL, HE STARTED ASKING ME TO DOCTOR THE PHOTOGRAPHS OF HIS LIFTS
MORE AND MORE TO MAKE IT APPEAR AS THOUGH HE HAD LIFTED HIGHER AND
MORE IMPRESSIVELY THAN HE ACTUALLY HAD. BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT THE
WEIGHTS HE WAS TRYING TO LIFT WITH ONE ARM BEGAN TO GET PROGRESSIVELY
MORE UNREALISTIC.. AND INCREASING EXPONENTIALLY, I WOULD HAVE TO
AIRBRUSH IN.. OR OUT, BITS OF APPERATUS AND ADD SHADOWS WHERE THERE
WERE NONE, GIVING THE ILLUSION OF A LIFT

EVENTUALLY I WOULD WORK MORE AND MORE CLOSELY WITH THE
PHOTOGRAPHERS....UNTIL I BECAME, MYSELF, ONE OF SEVERAL
PHOTOGRAPHERS. AS THE WEIGHTS INCREASED I NO LONGER HAD TO AIRBRUSH.
AS PHOTOGRAPHERS WE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE IT LOOK AS IF WEIGHTS HAD
BEEN LIFTED. WE WOULD SHOOT FROM A LOW VANTAGE POINT SO AS TO MAKE IT
LOOK AS THOUGH THE WEIGHTS HAD BEEN SLIGHTLY ROLLED UP THE BEND ON
WHICH THE WEIGHT WAS CRADLED.

NOW THE STORY OF THE 7,OOO POUND LIFT THAT NEVER WAS...... AND THE
TURNING POINT FOR ME.. NO MORE DENIAL. THAT DAY, ( I CANT REMEMBER IF
IT WAS DAY OR NIGHT?), ABOUT 15 PEOPLE WERE SUMMONED TO HIS HOUSE..
INCLUDING A HANDFUL OF PHOTOGRAPHERS. ON THIS OCCASION I WAS JUST A
WITNESS AND NOT A PHOTOGRAPHER. THE APPARATUS, A METAL FRAME WITH TWO
U-BENDS CRADLING THE WEIGHT AT SHOULDER HEIGHT STOOD THERE. THE
BUILDERS OF THIS WELDED MONSTER WERE SCURRYING AROUND CHECKING THE
FLOOR FROM THE BASEMENT WHICH HAD BEEN REINFORCED WITH STANDING METAL
BEAMS.

BARE IN MIND NOW THAT SRI CHINMOY HAD SAID ON AT LEAST ONE OCCASION,
THAT HIS FEATS OF STRENGTH ON EARTH WERE AS NOTHING COMPARED WITH
WHAT HE WAS DOING IN THE INNER WORLD....

SO SRI CHINMOY STOOD UP, WALKED AROUND THE WEIGHT, ROLLED HIS EYES IN
MEDITATIVE REVERIE....THEN TOOK HIS GRIP ON THE BAR. HE CRIED OUT,
HIS FACE TURNED RED.. ALL THE DRAMA OF GENUINE EFFORT, EXCEPT THAT
THE WEIGHT DID NOT BUDGE, DID NOT EVEN TREMBLE, IT WAS AS IMMOVEABLE
AS EXCALIBER.

SHORTLY WE WERE WATCHING THE VIDEO TAPE. SRI CHINMOY WAS
THRILLED.....AS HE PLAYED IT AT THE APPROPRIATE MOMENT, HE GLEEFULLY
SHOUTED "THERE! DID YOU SEE?!'. CAME A DEAFENING SILENCE, AND THE
TAPE WAS REPLAYED. `LOOK! DID YOU SEE?!' THIS TIME RANJANA AND A FEW
OTHER OF THE GIRLS, POSSIBLY A FEW BOYS TOO, ENTHUSIASTICALLY AGREED,
YES, THERE HAD BEEN A LIFT. THEN THE VIDEO TAPE WAS PLAYED AGAIN AND
A FEW MORE PEOPLE WERE WON OVER. THEN AGAIN AND AGAIN. EVENTUALLY SRI
CHINMOY WAS REDUCED TO ACTUALLY EYEBALLING INDIVIDUALS, ALL BUT
PLEADING FOR THEM TO COME ACROSS. IT WAS ACTUALLY QUITE
SWEET/PATHETIC. TALK ABOUT RETAIL POLITICS!

THIS ACCOUNT CAN BE SUBSTANTIATED BY ANY ONE OF THESE
PEOPLE...YOGALOY, A YOUNG MAN FROM CALIFORNIA WHO LEFT SOON AFTER ME
WAS THERE.

ANYWAY, IT WAS NOT LONG AFTER THAT I TOLD HIM I WAS LEAVING, HE ASKED
ME TO GIVE HIM A MONTH IN ORDER TO TRY TO PERSUADE ME TO STAY....TO
LEAVE WAS THE SAME AS SUICIDE HE TOLD ME. THERE FOLLOWED A MONTH OF
FLATTERING ATTENTION.. TENNIS WITH THE MASTER EVERY MORNING,
INVITATIONS TO ALL THE HOTTEST EVENTS. THE MASTERS CHARM AND SWEETEST
PERSUASION. TO NO AVAIL THOUGH, I WANTED TO ROMANCE THE BEAST - REAL
LIFE!