TOP WAYS TO CURB THE ANNOYING PROBLEM OF CHURCH GROWTH Begin your message with the phrase, "You know what's wrong with you people..." Move business meetings to...
Loafs & Fishes Parable When the preacher approached the young boy who was fishing in the park pond, he said, "Do you know the parables?" "Yes Sir!!" the Lad ...
The Prayer Request Leroy went to a revival at a local church and listened intently to the preacher. After awhile, the preacher asked anyone with needs to be...
30 Things Learned from Ice Storm 2009 On January 26 and 27, 2009, a winter storm dumped more than an inch of ice on parts of 6 states, bringing lims and whole...
TO The Survivors ALL THE KIDS WHO GREW UP IN the 50's, 60's and 70's! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and while they carried us. They took...
Birthday & Anniversary Reminder Because I had forgotten the dates for a number of my friends' and relatives' birthdays and anniversaries, I decided to compile...
Reasons churches don't ask clown ministries to return: 10.Pesky escaped balloons stuck to the Sanctuary ceiling for weeks after they've gone. 9.That cream pie...
An Obituary For Someone Else Our church was saddened to learn this week of the death of one of our most valued members, Someone Else. Someone's passing creates...
Angel Miss Queue? My first grade daughter, Jenny, loves to sing. One day as I drove her to school, we were "accompanying" Michael W. Smith on his song, "Angels...
NOT ENOUGH CASHIERS Here are the reasons I'd Like to thank Wal-Mart, K-Mart, and my local grocer for having 25 checkout lanes and only three open at any given...
THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY Murphy's Law ADDENDUM Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll...
The Perfect Dress I was in a department store dressing room when I overheard a woman in the next booth make disparaging remarks about the clothes she was...
First Time Prayer A man came to church for the very first time in his life. He heard a sermon that really tugged at his heart strings and felt the need to...
Church Recycling? Trying to do my share to help the environment, I set up a trash basket at my church and posted above it this suggestion: "Empty water bottles...
Do I look that shady? I just got a GPS for my car, and my first trip with it was to a drugstore. Since the manual said not to leave it in the car unattended, I...
Tip My sister-in-law works as a waitress at an Atlanta restaurant. One day, a large family came in to eat. In accordance with the restaurant's policy of...
THE Church ELEVATOR A large cathedral with several floors to it was having some extensive renovations done, and the workers had installed a "cage" elevator to...
Smoke Detector Warning One Sunday morning when my son, David, was about 5, we were attending a church in our community. It was common for the preacher to...
Bible Bafflement My friend opened a ministry, using a snippet from the Bible as the name. But he soon regretted his decision to order office supplies over the...
Secret Formula The police in Willoughby County, New Hampshire recently busted a man selling "secret formula" tablets that he claimed gave eternal youth. When...
Regular or Premium When their family car developed a slight knock, my neighbor and I started discussing possible causes while we were visiting on their back...
Mid-Term Test Answers We all fail sometimes. But there's something about failing with style. Here are some of the best test paper blunders from the most...
What's In A Name My "extra" daughter is getting married in Nashville in November. Were we discussing her soon to be new last name. She said it would take some...
Highest Bidder Diet My friend and I joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor held up an apple and a candy bar. "What are the attributes...
Flight Ministry Opportunity Steve Brown of the Key Life Network recently told about traveling cross country by air when one of the passengers died. The plane...
Mixed Metaphors English professors love to catch the errors students make in their term papers, and they love nothing better than to catch mixed metaphors. The...
Jesus' Granny A little boy came home from his first day at Sunday School. He told his mother that his Sunday school teacher was Jesus' granny. "How did you...
A Real Person Manning the computer help desk for the local school district was my first job. And though I was just an intern, I took the job very seriously....
Overheated Computers In the office where I work, there is a constant battle between our technical-support director and customer-service personnel over the room...
Tough Old Cowboy A tought old cowboy from South Texas counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gun...
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