Imaginary Friend Derek had heard the minister preach about the care our Heavenly Father provides. The minister said, "Wherever you go, He will be at your...
HERE COMES THE GROOM Fed up with the way the bride invariably steals the show at her own wedding, the university at which Rob Tombes works (exact school ...
Olive Oil Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil before washing it. Worried that the oil might leave an odor, I washed my hair...
The Wedding Song My cousin Marion and the church organist were discussing music for Marion's wedding service. A first-time bride at 30, she said she'd like a...
Chicken Breasts The supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts and I intended to stock up. At the store, however, I was disap- pointed to find only a...
SIGNS YOU'RE OVERDOING THANKSGIVING........ * Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you. * Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect...
Things to do Thanksgiving Day {if you want to be excused early} 1. Announce that you would like to start a new family tradition, and proceed to take off your ...
One Way Trip A drunken man got on the bus late one night, staggered up the aisle, and sat next to an elderly woman who was clutching a Bible. The woman, who...
A Martha Stewart Christmas Greeting Dear Friend This perfectly delightful Christmas note is being sent in paper I made myself to tell you what I have been up...
Rules for Buying Gifts for Men Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he...
Name That Christmas Carol! (Answers Below, no cheating) 1. Bleached Yule 2. Castaneous-colored Seed Vesicated in a Conflagration 3. Singular Yearning for the...
FRACTURED CHRISTMAS CAROLS No one can fracture a Christmas carol better than a young kid. Sing along with these new takes on old favorites: Deck the Halls with...
Bad Christmas Gifts for Your Pastor The Left Behind Series "Practical Survivors Guide." A Monopoly Acts 16 "Get out of jail free" card. A "Begats" Family Tree...
Your Dog's New Years Resolutions 1. I will not play tug-of-war with Daddy's underwear when he's on the can. 2. I will remember the garbage collector is NOT...
Sermon Fodder's Ultimate Preaching Rules 1. According to your congregation, there are bad sermons and short sermons but there are no bad short sermons. 2. A...
EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE I LEARNED FROM A JIGSAW PUZZLE 1. Don't force a fit. If something is meant to be, it will come together naturally. 2....
New Pastor My appointment as pastor coincided with the church's appeal for aid for victims of a hurricane. Unfortunately, on my first Sunday in the parish, the...
EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE I LEARNED FROM A JIGSAW PUZZLE 1. Don't force a fit. If something is meant to be, it will come together naturally. 2....
We're what? A children's Sunday School Class spent several weeks studying different religions. They studied Catholics, Protestants, Muslims, Jews, Buddhist and...
Passwords A friend of mine kept track of his Internet passwords on a sticky note. I noticed that the one for Disney's site was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto." When I...
Diagnosis ========= Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of severe abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency...
AT THE CROSSROADS The traffic light wasn't working at the corner, so a lady stood with a large crowd of people waiting to cross, while a cop directed traffic. ...
Speeding My father always loved fast cars. Taking advantage of the empty roads one morning, he accelerated down a wide-open stretch. Unfortunately, a young...
Forgive Our Enemies In his Sunday sermon, the minister used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After the sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive ...
The New Pope A high school history teacher was discussing the funeral of the Pope with his class. One student asked how they chose the new Pope. The teacher...
The Prodigal Son Parable in the Key of "F" Feeling footloose and frisky, a feather-brained fellow forced his fond father to fork over the family finances. He...
Choir Tardiness Test In order to measure your level of proficiency as a choir member, the following test has been carefully developed by experts. Read and...
The Boss Kyle and Justin were about to eat with the baby sitter when 6-year-old Kyle said, "You can't sit in Daddy's seat!" Daddy's not home," the baby sitter...
The Empty Bird Cage There once was a man named George Thomas, a pastor in a small New England town. One Easter Sunday morning, he came to the Church carrying a...
The Baby Shower Put in charge of organizing my friend's baby shower, I decided to send out invitations via email. To let my husband know that he had...
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