Ripe Old Age A DJ on a local Christian radio station was introducing a record. "This next one," he said, "is for Charlotte Burke, who is a hundred and eleven....
A Hand Where? Our pastor was winding down the service. In the back of the church, the fellowship committee stood to go to the church hall and prepare snacks...
Pet Surprise In an upscale pet-supply store, a customer wanted to buy a red sweater for her dog. The clerk suggested that she bring her dog in for a proper...
... New Pastor Our church was looking for a new minister, and the selection committee finally recommended a young man just out of the seminary. Many older...
Sermon Fodder's Original Ultimate Bulletin Bloopers 2004 Attention Parents. There will be a conference on how to help your teen avoid pre-marital sex. The...
Back to School IT was the first week of school and the social studies teacher had just started a unit on war and peace. She thought she would try some...
Hymns vs. Choruses* UPDATED An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was. ...
Manners Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give...
Cooking Disability The chef at a family-run restaurant had broken her leg at work and came into our insurance office to file a disability claim. As I scanned...
The Split An account executive at a stock-and-bond firm telephoned an elderly woman client who had purchased her first stock - one hundred shares of Proctor &...
Missing church Two men were fishing on a lake, feeling guilty that it was a Sunday morning, that they were not attending church, and the fish were not biting. ...
The Right Number A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang. In going to answer it, she tripped on a rug, grabbed for something to hold on...
Casual Day I used to work for a large company, they often did special things for us to make work a little more enjoyable, below is a memo I found in my desk...
The Boss Kyle and Justin were about to eat with the baby sitter when 6 year old Kyle said, "You can't sit in Daddy's seat!" "Daddy's not home," the baby sitter...
Women's T-Shirts A WASHINGTON POST columnist runs a column each summer listing Interesting WOMEN'S T-shirts observed at the Ocean City, Maryland beach. 1. I...
Handyman Guide to Working Around the House 1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an improved screwdriver. 2. Try to...
A Few One-liners When confronted with a Goliath-size problem, which way do you respond-- "He's too big to hit", or like David, "He's too big to miss"? Some...
FOR SAFETY'S SAKE- Go to Church If you regularly ride in automobiles drive carefully because auto crashes are responsible for 20% of all fatal accidents....
A Cartoon Laws of Physics Cartoon Law I Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff,...
Why I don't Attend Church/Why I don't Attend Church When my friend Bro. Paul arrived at an church several years ago he was discouraged that while the...
The Politically Correct, 100% Safe, Totally Generic, Ethnic Joke (Everyone Be Warned: This Joke Might Be Poking Fun At You!) A person belonging to an ethnic...
The Whole Load A young seminary graduate was sent out to preach his first official sermon. The day he arrived at a small country church it snowed about three...
Hey All: Rather than are you normal, it should ask are you averag? First, you should know that useless statistics were up 5 percent last month. If it weren't...
Where's Mommy? One evening after dinner, a five-year-old boy noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked his father, "Where did mommy go?" In answer to...
To: Joke A Day Ministries From: Keith Todd <ktodd@...> Subject: Homilies/I Am A Soldier Cc: Bcc: X-Attachments: Homilies To Live By Give a person a fish...
Perfect Mate At a meeting of the church women's group, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry...
Signs That You're at a Bad (Outdoor) Baptismal Service 10. The entire congregation is invited to "join in the fun." 9. The Coast Guard is somehow involved. ...
Actual Bible College quotes 2000! "We need to be fried raisers rather than being fund raisers." (for "fried" read "friend") "We must bare each others burdens."...
The Perfect Pastor: 1. Preaches exactly 20 minutes and follows it with an invitation in which everyone is convicted but no one is offended. 2. Works from 7:00...
Missed Call My daughter Marina worked in my law office while she attended graduate school. One morning a call came in for her. I said she wasn't in yet and...
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