A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees 3 men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to...
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Michael's Hospital. She timidly asked, Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The...
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... and those who don't. As Ben Franklin said: "In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in Water there is...
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What...
Dear Abby, My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and when I confront him he denies everything. What's worse, everyone...
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing...
A young farm couple, Homer and Darlene, got married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'. In the morning, before Homer left the house for the fields,...
Three women and three men are traveling by train to the football game ... At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy...
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the...
On a hot summer day, a Redneck came into town with his dog. He tied The dog under the shade of a tree and went into the bar for a cold Beer. About 20 minutes...
After being with his Blind Date all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a Friend call him to the...
A redneck is driving down a back road in Kentucky. A sign in front of a restaurant reads: "HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL" Lobster Tail and Beer "Lord almighty" he...
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A head of romaine lettuce, A 2...
The story of the Irish Sausage Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of...
While on a road trip, an elderly Couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their...
Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, an...
A 6 year-old and 4 year-old are upstairs in their bedroom... "You know what?" says the 6 year-old. "I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4 year-old...
Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three will wear...
In the nursing home one evening, the old man looked over and said to the old lady, "I know just what you're wanting. For $5, I'll have sex with you right over...
WHAT DO YOU CALL... What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese. What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses. What do you call four bull...
A blonde woman happened to be sitting next to a lawyer on a long flight from L. A. To New York. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play...
Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whisky, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a...
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE! JOHN McCAIN: My...
Body Facts Interesting facts about the human body. The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm. A full bladder is...
A guy goes to a psychiatrist... "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a...
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined!" "It's in the judge's hands now," said...
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says,'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and...
I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my little dog Lucy had fresh air. [[]]...
One winter morning a husband and wife in Denver were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10...
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