Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C. One from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, Florida. They go with...
A husband looking through the paper came upon a study that said women use more words than men. It read, "Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use...
A cannibal was walking through the Amazon jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over...
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York two days before Christmas and says,"I Hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are...
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead Sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the...
On a trip to Great Britain while he was President of the United States, Bill Clinton had a meeting with Queen Elizabeth. During that meeting he asked her,...
A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk...
Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze. 1st Hillbilly says: "My wife sure is stupid!... She bought an air conditioner. " 2nd Hillbilly...
LETTER FROM AN W. VA. FARM KID (NOW AT San Diego MARINE CORPS RECRUIT TRAINING) Dear Ma and Pa, I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother...
An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy...
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees 3 men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to...
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Michael's Hospital. She timidly asked, Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The...
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... and those who don't. As Ben Franklin said: "In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in Water there is...
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What...
Dear Abby, My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and when I confront him he denies everything. What's worse, everyone...
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing...
A young farm couple, Homer and Darlene, got married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'. In the morning, before Homer left the house for the fields,...
Three women and three men are traveling by train to the football game ... At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy...
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the...
On a hot summer day, a Redneck came into town with his dog. He tied The dog under the shade of a tree and went into the bar for a cold Beer. About 20 minutes...
After being with his Blind Date all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a Friend call him to the...
A redneck is driving down a back road in Kentucky. A sign in front of a restaurant reads: "HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL" Lobster Tail and Beer "Lord almighty" he...
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A head of romaine lettuce, A 2...
The story of the Irish Sausage Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of...
While on a road trip, an elderly Couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their...
Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, an...
A 6 year-old and 4 year-old are upstairs in their bedroom... "You know what?" says the 6 year-old. "I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4 year-old...
Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three will wear...
In the nursing home one evening, the old man looked over and said to the old lady, "I know just what you're wanting. For $5, I'll have sex with you right over...
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