Support Your Candidate As an American, you have an obligation to support your presidential candidate (Bush or Kerry). So, every day until Election Day, when...
A man and his wife have separate bedrooms because of his loud snoring. One night when he was feeling amorous, he called out to his wife. "Oh my little...
The inventor of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been...
10 THINGS BLACK AND LATIN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT: 1. Elvis is dead. 2. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal. 3. Jesus...
Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk: Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon. Things That Are VERY Difficult to Say When...
Top Thoughts for 2004 11. Life is actually sexually transmitted. 10. Being healthy is merely the slowest possible way for someone to die. 9. Give a person a...
Gloria Steger
gloria.steger@...
Sep 5, 2004 6:15 pm
63
A cowboy at a bar in Great Falls, Montana, orders three mugs of beer and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them,...
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,...
ELOPING (A JOKE) A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an...
Tragedy struck the Republican National Convention at Madison Square Garden last evening when a mob of delegates, whipped into a frenzy by War President Bush,...
Two older gentleman are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons when one looks at the other and says, "So, how is your wife doing?" The other man continues to...
Presidental Sex Quiz 1. Which president smoked marijuana with a nude playgirl while he joked about being too wasted to push the button in case of nuclear ...
Little Tommy was playing in the living room when he decided he would ask his mother a question. Without taking the time to knock, he burst into the bathroom...
The other morning Charlie took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the hell?" he said to himself as a little "dust" cloud appeared when he shook them...
Gloria Steger
gloria.steger@...
Sep 7, 2004 2:16 pm
71
G. W. Bush and John Kerry somehow ended up at the same barbershop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The...
An Amish woman was driving her buggy to town when a highway police officer stopped her. I'm not going to cite you said the officer. I just wanted to warn you...
Below is an actual letter sent to a bank in the United States. The Bank Manager thought it was amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times... ...
In The Beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, green, yellow and red vegetables of all ...
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over...
Here's one for you. John Kerry walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender looks at him and says, "Why such the long face?" "Live Free or Die," ...
If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been...
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you: Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? ...
Pat
pattik2u@...
Sep 10, 2004 6:37 pm
79
A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open." This is not a phrase men normally...
Guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off...
Community Service Haircut One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asks the barber about his bill. "I am sorry, I cannot accept money...
Subject: Indianapolis 500 A young Native American woman went to a doctor for her first 'ever physical exam. After checking all of her vitals and running the...
The Top Ten Indicators that your employer has changed to a cheaper HMO: 10. Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters. 9. Directions to your doctor's office...
Smith was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. "Hungry, Smith?" the Lord asked. "I could...
Pat
pattik2u@...
Sep 15, 2004 4:24 am
85
5 secrets to romantic happiness 1. It is important to find a man who works around the house, cooks and cleans and who has a job. 2. It is important to find a...
Pat
pattik2u@...
Sep 16, 2004 2:13 pm
86
Four guys who worked together always golfed as a group at 7:00 a.m. on Sunday. Unfortunately, one of them got transferred out of town and they were talking...
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