Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not ...
Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they died. 1st woman: "I froze to death." 2nd woman: "How horrible!" 1st woman:...
George W. Bush was giving an interview today and he was asked what he thought of Roe vs Wade? He said he didn't care what method people used to get out of New...
At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Señor Lucky? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a...
Concluding his daily White House briefing, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfield says, "In closing I'm sorry to inform you, Mr. President, that eight Brazilian...
Old Butch, The Rooster John, the farmer, was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers; hens, called pullets and eight or ten...
(Complements of Tesla) * I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I...
The Office Christmas Party December 1 TO: ALL EMPLOYEES I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's...
Mujibar was trying to get a job in India. The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it you cannot...
A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wife's birthday... His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero...
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with U.S. auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto...
One day at kindergarten a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived." An...
1. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. 2. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically...
Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work." The boss...
Ole lived across da river from Clarence who he didn't like at all. Dey all da time vas yelling across da river at each odder. Ole vould yell to Clarence, "If I...
Naughty Riddles Q.What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?A: A cherry float. Q: What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?A: 1 US leader Q: What did...
A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my...
Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment... when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the...
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels...
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr....
toilet spotless Toilet Cleaning Instructions: 1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2. Pick up the cat and...
(Compliments of Brad) First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body... They all gathered around the...
In a school just outside of Pittsburgh, a first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a Steeler's fan... She asked her students to raise their...
15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time: 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they...
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone. 2....
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from St. Louis when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and...
A Hawaiian Woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Hawaiian woodpecker said that they had a tree that...
A little old lady is sitting on a park bench in Trailer Estates. A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the...
An elderly couple was attending church services when about halfway through she leans over and says to him, "I just had a silent passing of gas, what do you...
A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the...
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