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PRACTICAL PARENTING ADVICE NEWSLETTER
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

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SURVIVING PARENTHOOD
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The Practical Parenting Advice Newsletter provides a free public
service for parents and practitioners wanting advice and support on
children's behaviour, development and family relationships.  Web site:
<http://www.practicalparent.org.uk>

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CONTENTS

1.  Editorial  - Have You Tried The Online Parenting Course?

2.  Article - Traditional Games Bounce Back in Favour

3.  Gary Direnfeld - Top Parenting Tips

4.  Request for Help - Tommy's Charity

5.  BBC Parenting - November's Highlights

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


1.  EDITORIAL - HAVE YOU TRIED THE ONLINE PARENTING COURSE YET?

Hi All

If you would like more practical advice and support on parenting and child
behaviour please click on following link and try the 5 week parenting
course:

<http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/plus.htm>

Don't forget to keep your contributions coming in for the newsletter by
e-mailing me at:

AndyGill@...

Till the next time - look after yourselves!

Dr Andy Gill
Editor

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


2.  ARTICLE - TRADITIONAL GAMES BOUNCE BACK IN FAVOUR


A resurgence of interest in traditional games has been supported by a
project, funded by Culture Online. The Playground Fun website - jam-packed
with ideas to keep your kids active - aims to get your kids logging on…and
logging off in droves.

Playground Fun is a website aimed at getting children outside playing games.
From Hide & Seek to It, and from Poison to Zombie, traditional favourites
meet with new games in an inspiring new project - www.playgroundfun.org.uk
<http://www.playgroundfun.org.uk> - funded by Culture Online, part of the
Department for Culture, Media and Sport.

Playground Fun offers children practical suggestions and ideas about how
they can get outside and start playing - at home and at school. The project
helps 7-9 year olds to re-discover the fun of learning and playing together,
trying games played in other counties and cultures, as well as offering
children the chance to share their own favourites.

The site, featuring lots of colourful cartoon characters, includes
nuts-and-bolts information about how to play games, vintage black and white
film footage and guidance on how to help children enjoy group activities.
There's also a fun game builder tool that allows children to create their
own versions of games on the website. Teacher and parent notes are included
with information about how to keep children entertained, fit, safe and well.
The site aim is to become a growing online compendium of games, as played by
Britain's children.

David Lammy, Culture Minister, has said: "More than thirty five years ago,
Iona and Peter Opie published their comprehensive collection of street and
playground games. What they discovered was a world full of vitality,
inventiveness and unfettered imagination. Today's young people are no less
inspiring than the children that the Opie's interviewed in the 1960s.
Regional and cultural variations of children's games abound, even in the age
of the games console and the web. Video may have killed the radio star but
it's seems nothing can dampen the spirits of a playful child. Playground Fun
aims to help children discover and share the joy of play."

Jonathan Drori at Culture Online said: "You might think that the games
console reigns supreme but it's important to remember that outdoor games are
very popular. Anyone who looks after kids knows that they often have more
energy than they know what to do with. This website encourages children to
share their favourite games virtually and then to play them in the real
world. Playground Fun is primarily for fun, although no one can deny that
play has huge physical and social benefits too."

Schools that piloted the Playground Fun website found a marked improvement
in playground behaviour. Teacher, Jo Garbutt, of Throngsley Fields Primary
and Nursery School, Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire, said: "The Playground Fun
project has provided a superb focus for our planned school improvement work.
We have seen a marked improvement in social interaction and behaviour on the
playground already. We are very pleased with the positive impact it
continues to have."

Bursting with worksheets and teaching ideas, Playground Fun makes learning
fun with motivating lesson plans and materials. Teacher, Rachael Poulson of
Rotherfield Primary School, Islington, North London said: "We have been
covering healthy eating in the science class and the children have related
all activities to the games on the Playground Fun website and being active.
They have also talked about the historical aspects of games as part of their
World War II work. As a result of the pilot, the children are working
together, co-operating and they don't sulk so much!"

www.playgroundfun.org.uk <http://www.playgroundfun.org.uk>

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


3.  GARY DIRENFELD - TOP PARENTING TIPS

------------------------------------------------------

How do you support siblings whose brother or sister many have special needs?
Read:
Sibling issues when one has special needs: Am I my brother’s keeper?
http://www.yoursocialworker.com/p-articles/brothers_keeper.htm

-------------------------------------------------------

With the holiday's coming, how will your children manage? Read:
Managing the Holiday Excitement
http://www.yoursocialworker.com/p-articles/holiday.htm

---------------------------------------------------------

New research on the effects of spanking - The effect of culture. View the
interview:
Spanking revisited
http://www.yoursocialworker.com/videos/spanking_revisited.wmv

----------------------------------------------------------

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


4.  REQUEST FOR HELP - TOMMY'S CHARITY

Hi Andy,

I'm Ash writing from Tommy's, the baby charity and I have a press
request I'd like to put up on your website please. There's a story
breaking in tomorrow's papers about miscarriage and we're looking for
women who have had recurrent miscarriages who are willing to talk about
their experience of having a miscarriage in the press to help raise
awareness of what Tommy's does - research to prevent people from having
miscarriages, stillbirths and premature births.

Do you think anyone on your site might be able to help us? We'd be
looking for women to be interviewed either for newspaper stories or TV
news items (for the latter, women in or around London would be
preferable).

(Please contact Ash direct - contact details below)

Many thanks,

Ash

Ash Anand
Senior PR Manager
Tommy's, the baby charity
Nicholas House
3 Laurence Pountney Hill
London EC4R 0BB

Press Office: 020 7398 3440
Direct Line: 020 7398 3443
Mobile: 07759 145 959
Email: aanand@...

Information Line: 0870 777 30 60
Donation Line: 0870 777 76 76
Fax: 08707 70 70 75
www.tommys.org <http://www.tommys.org/>

TOMMYS THE BABY CHARITY is a registered charity no 1060508

Every two minutes in the UK, a baby is lost - through miscarriage,
stillbirth or because they are born prematurely.

Tommy's, the baby charity, believes every baby deserves the best start
in life. We are committed to funding medical research and providing
information to help more mums and dads through a healthy pregnancy and
birth. We receive no government funding so it's only through kind
donations that we can continue to provide such vital information.

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


5.  BBC PARENTING - NOVEMBERS HIGHLIGHTS


1. Talking to your doctor
Nobody likes going to the doctor but it can be even more daunting for
children. So how can you alleviate their fears and tell them what to expect,
and just what are the rules on patient confidentiality and teenagers?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/talking_to_your_doctor/gp_index.shtml


2. Get set for Christmas
It's that time of year again, there are already signs of tinsel in the
shops - and it won’t be so long before children feel the anticipation and
excitement building. Here we suggest tips to help you relax and start
planning your best ever festive season.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/family_matters/celeb_xmasbest.shtml


3. ONE life
Tune in to BBC One on Tuesday evenings throughout November to follow the
stories of some extraordinary people. Read how three sisters came together
to make one baby and find out more about the woman who’s pregnant in two
wombs.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/tv_and_radio/onelife_index.shtml


4. Teething troubles
Teething should be a normal part of physical development, no more stressful
than growing hair. But it's often a cause for concern for some babies.
Heather Welford offers advice and techniques to try with your little one.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/your_kids/babies_teething.shtml


5. Honey We’re Killing the Kids
Are you concerned about your children’s lifestyle? Do you worry they’re not
following a healthy diet? Take a look at some of our quick and easy recipes
from the BBC Three series Honey We’re Killing the Kids. Tea times need never
be boring again! The series will be shown again on BBC One in a few weeks
time.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/tv_and_radio/honey/recipeshoney_index.shtml


6. Teen Angels
BBC Science is making a second series of Teen Angels. If you would welcome
expert advice about how to improve your home life, relationships and
communication we’d like to hear from you.
Please contact the Teen Angels team on 0870 9000 191 or email
teenangels@... (leaving a phone number). There is no commitment at
this stage and all calls will be treated in strict confidence.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/teenangels


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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
PRACTICAL PARENTING ADVICE NEWSLETTER
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
SURVIVING PARENTHOOD
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<><>---<>SUPPORT OUR SPONSOR<>---<><>

Free Weekly Parenting Tips Contest - Great Prizes!

Enter your favourite parenting tip to win the weekly Parenting Tips Contest
at <www.ParentingTipsOnline.com>.  Prizes include “101+ Letters From” and
the “Tooth Fairy Super Package” - both designed to help keep the magic in
your relationship with your child.  Register now to win!
<www.ParentingTipsOnline.com>

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>

The Practical Parenting Advice Newsletter provides a free public
service for parents and practitioners wanting advice and support on
children's behaviour, development and family relationships.  Web site:
<http://www.practicalparent.org.uk>

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<><>----------------<>WELCOME!<>----------------<><>

CONTENTS

1.  Editorial  - Apologies, Away in New York!

2. Article -  "Staying Clam" by Amanda Alexander (2005)

3.  Top Parenting Tips Site - Talking Point

4.  Article - "Parenting Plans form a Kids Eye View" by Gary Direnfeld
(2005)

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


1.  EDITORIAL - APOLOGIES

Hi All

Really sorry for neglecting the website and Newsletter recently but have
been away in New York on a fantastic training course and study tour,
learning about integrated children's services.

Am now back and busily catching-up and having fun with the kids who I really
missed!

Don't forget to keep your contributions coming in for the newsletter by
e-mailing me at:

AndyGill@...

Till the next time - look after yourselves!

Dr Andy Gill
Editor

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


2.  ARTICLE - STAYING CALM

By Amanda Alexander (2005)
<http://ww.parentcoaching.co.uk>


One of the biggest challenges of motherhood, is the anger that can bubble up
very quickly and sometimes with little real reason! Here’s the recipe – take
one sleep-deprived parent with only 24 hours in each day, add a whining
child or a newborn with colic,  and throw in 21st century hectic speed of
life, and you’ve got a classic dish of Mum a la Stress.

Picture the scene – your youngest has just emptied his lego all over the
floor, your eldest is screaming because you told her that she couldn’t watch
the Tweenies again, you have a meeting in 30 minutes, and even if there is
no traffic, by the time you have got the kids’ shod and clothed, organised
the nappies, drinks, snacks, tidied up the lego, locked up the house and
hauled them both into their car seats, there’s still no way you are going to
get to your appointment on time.   Your heart is racing ten to the dozen and
your kids seem determined to do everything they can to double that figure!

Or here’s another one – you are expecting friends round in an hour and you
are trying to prepare a meal.  Your three year old wants you to play with
her and she has a technique that wouldn’t be out of place in a Nazi torture
camp.  She cries “Mummy, mummy, mummy” and never gives up.  The voice just
keeps on –it won’t stop – you try to multitask and 15 minutes later you
realise the potatoes have boiled dry and the kitchen is full of smoke.

When my son was a baby and I was a very new, very “green” mum, I got very
angry particularly in the early days, when I didn’t understand or know how
to deal with the crying.  I will never forget the time when I called my
husband in hysterics, not knowing what to do because my son was crying and
he wouldn’t stop.  My neighbour (who had been there, done that and lived to
tell the tale) heard me crying and came round.  I was at the end of my
tether – thank God she came and fed me tea and sympathy – I will be forever
grateful to her!

There are an infinite number of unique situations that lead us to lose our
sense of calm as parents.  There are still occasions when I want to have a
big tantrum and shout, “Just leave me alone, I’m tired and I’m fed up,
waaaaaah”.  But of course, that’s a luxury I can’t afford aged 35 and three
quarters .  If I’m going to be any sort of example, I can’t act like a
toddler myself!

If we don’t learn to manage our anger and stress, it can have dire
consequences both for our kids, our partners and ourselves.  The best case
is that our children will very quickly pick up on our anger and will copy
it.  And the worst case?  Well, we have all read stories about shaken
babies – it only takes a moment. Even in the face of total exasperation, we
must stay calm.

So here are the Parent Coaching Company’s (<http://ww.parentcoaching.co.uk>)
top tips for preventing the anger boiling over and keeping your cool:

1. Take care of yourself starting from now.  If you are adequately fed,
hydrated and you’ve had enough rest and are keeping your serotonin levels
high with regular exercise, then you are far less likely to get angry.

2. Decide that it is not acceptable to lose your temper in front of your
kids.  Just as you wouldn’t accept anyone hitting your kids under any
circumstances, make losing your temper a zero tolerance offence.

3.  How do you control your anger when you are not with your kids?  Think of
times when you were really angry and you controlled your anger. It might
have been at work or with a friend.  Use the same technique with your kids.
If you feel yourself boiling up, ask yourself, “How would I handle this now
if it was my boss was in front of me instead of my child?” Or imagine you
are on a reality TV show, the camera watching your every move.  How would
you want those six million viewers to see you behave?

4. Ask yourself “Who is the adult here?” That’s it… act like an adult! And
once you are in adult mode, ask yourself who is actually responsible for the
situation.  It might be that you were inadequately prepared and that you
were taking chances with a potentially explosive situation.  Remember – you
are the adult, and being responsible means being able to respond.  Think
about that one!

5. Find out your trigger times for anger.  If you are getting angry
frequently, then it’s time to start a diary and record how you are feeling.
What are the sparks that light your powder keg?  It might be when you are
hungry, low on energy, tired, or perhaps it’s loud and constant noise from a
blaring television. Once you’ve identified the trigger points, get someone
to help you with an action plan to address them and nurture yourself.

6. “Let go and let God”, or let go and let your higher self look after your
worries and concerns.  Each morning, ask God (or the universe or your wise
inner self or whatever is right for you) to take care of you.  Whatever your
beliefs, the act of not taking everything on board yourself and having an
attitude of acceptance and “letting go” will help you feel calmer.

7. Spend 10 minutes in quiet meditation each day.  Practise dampening the
ever constant noise we have in our minds.  I have never met anyone who has
not benefited from meditation, and I can testify to its effectiveness first
hand!

8. If you get angry with your child for repeated behaviour, try to identify
what the need is behind that behaviour. What might be missing for them?  Put
yourself in your child’s shoes and it can help you address both their
behaviour and yours!

9. Think of a role model and start to model them.  Who do you know who is
cool, calm and collected?  Imagine how they would react to the situation and
act like them.  Visualise yourself as unflappable and this will help you to
be unflappable.

10. Distract yourself – if it works for toddler tantrums, then it can work
for parent tantrums!  Ask yourself how important the situation really is and
does it merit raising your blood pressure and losing your composure? Will
anger bring you results? What would you say about the situation looking back
on it in 10 years time? Chances are you’d probably be laughing.

  Amanda Alexander, the parent coaching company ©2005 all rights reserved


To book a complimentary consultation with Amanda visit our website and
register.
Further information about the parent coaching company can be found on the
company’s website, <http://ww.parentcoaching.co.uk>

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


3)  TOP PARENTING TIPS SITE - Talking POINT

This website was launched in 2003 to give parents and practitioners access
to a single source of comprehensive information resources about children's
communication development and disability. It is the first stop online for
vital, quick, accessible information for these audiences, receiving positive
feedback and a user base currently of over 20,000 visits a month.  Please
click on:

< http://www.talkingpoint.org.uk>

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


4)  ARTICLE - PARENTING PLANS FROM A KID'S EYE VIEW

By Gary Direnfeld (2005)
<http://www.yoursocialworker.com/index.htm>


Parents have been telling the kids to get along, play nicely, share and not
talk bad of others, their entire lives. Then the parents announce their
separation and the conflict, hostility and upset between them, perhaps
previously hidden from the kids, is now in the open. Their tension spills
throughout the house. For the children of separating parents their first
wish is for their parents to get back together. If that is not possible,
their second wish is for their parents to get along. If their parents cannot
even get along, their third wish is for their parents to leave each other
alone and quit fighting.

The level of conflict whether low, medium or high and the kids three wishes
are the clue to parenting plan solutions.

In low conflict situations, the parents may not get along well, but perhaps
well enough to stay in the same house, maybe not the same bedroom, but the
same house. The parents may regard themselves as high conflict, but
actually, this is more akin to high tension rather than medium or high
conflict. In high tension, there is a stress imposed by the bad feelings
between the parents. There is concern for eruption of conflict, but
none-the-less, the parents can manage their behaviour and curtail open
hostility. Children in these situations get their first wish. It may not be
perfect, but they remain together with their parents under one roof.
Scheduling and parental responsibilities generally remain the same.

Open hostility or antagonism differentiates high tension from conflict. In
medium conflict, while the parents may not get along, there is still a level
of civility which only from time to time dips to include subtle denigration,
such as making faces, sniping or sarcastic comments and the like. The
parents are well able to distinguish their issues from the needs of the
children and keep the children’s interest forefront, even though they the
parents cannot stand to be under the same roof.   Given medium conflict and
the kids’ second wish being that the parents get along, kids in these
situations would like their parents to be neighbours. In their mind, if
their parents lived in houses side by side, or at least within walking
distance of each other, they would have some peace of mind with regard to
maintaining a close and loving relationship with both parents.

In high conflict situations, the hostility between the parents has likely
never been hidden or managed well in view of the kids. There may be
allegations of abuse between the parents or even of a parent towards the
children. Issues of alcohol or drug use/abuse may be present and there is a
greater probability of a mental health issue affecting at least one parent.
Parents are deadlocked with regard to their view of the ongoing care of the
children. The children shudder at the thought of their parents remaining in
the same house, let alone the some neighbourhood. Like the ol’ western,
“This town isn’t big enough for the both of them”. Kids in these situations,
more often than not, still seek to maintain a close relationship with both
parents. However they realize that like some young kids fighting in the
sandbox, peace will only prevail as long as they are kept far apart. So
these kids just want their parents to leave each other alone, so they might
enjoy their own relationship with each parent, free from the intrusions of
the other. In these situations, children are better off with some physical
distance between the parents to act as a buffer or neutral zone where
neither will run into the other.

Kids subject to parental separation do live with some level of hypocrisy. We
tell kids to get along, play nicely and the like, yet and certainly during
the separation process, many parents do anything but. Want your kids to
adjust better? Follow the advice you would give them and consider a
parenting plan according to the level of conflict.

See the Parenting Plan Worksheet by clicking on:
<http://www.yoursocialworker.com/s-articles/PPW.htm>


Thanks to Garry for this very helpful article, visit his website at:

<http://www.yoursocialworker.com/index.htm>


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Working 9 to 5 a day

Three quarters of us still not reaching the Government’s 5-a-day target

Chat Guest: Fiona Hunter, Health Writer and Dietician

Chat Date: Monday 17^th October 2005

Chat Time: 1600 - 1645

With a wealth of healthy eating programmes on the television and ‘5-a-day’ fast becoming the nation’s new mantra, it is hard to avoid information about healthy eating.

But new research released today reveals that despite our growing knowledge and good intentions, three quarters of us are still struggling to meet the daily target of 5 portions of fruit and vegetables recommended by health experts.

Lack of time is the most commonly cited reason for not reaching the 5-a-day target while one in ten claim to have difficulty finding fresh fruit and veg near to their home. But are we making a lifestyle mountain out of a dietary molehill? Does it really need to be that hard to make healthy eating a matter of course?

Dietician and health writer Fiona Hunter believes that healthy eating can be incorporated into even the most hectic lifestyle without the need for extensive preparation and planning. For example, the research shows that while 60% of adults in the UK always eat breakfast only a quarter include any fruit or fruit juice, which is an easy way to tick off one portion of daily fruit and veg.

Fiona Hunter joins us in the studio to share her quick and easy tips on how to lead a healthier lifestyle amidst the pressures of modern living and tell us why 5-a-day is of long term importance to our health and vitality.

Fiona Hunter joins us live online at www.webchats.tv on 17^th October at 16:00. 

Click here to submit questions before the chat

For more information visit http://www.minutemaid.com

If you would like more practical advice and support on parenting and child behaviour please click on following link and try the 5 week guide:

http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/plus.htm

All the best

Dr Andy Gill

Webmaster


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Digital photography is a great way  of capturing those magical family
moments.

Practical Parenting Advice in association with FreeDigitalCameras.com have a
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PRACTICAL PARENTING ADVICE NEWSLETTER
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
SURVIVING PARENTHOOD
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<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>

The Practical Parenting Advice Newsletter provides a free public
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children's behaviour, development and family relationships.  Web site:
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CONTENTS

1.  Editorial  - Essential Practical Parenting Advice Links

2. Article -  Make Breakfast Time, Family time

3.  Article - Feed Young Minds

4.  Online Parenting TV - Live Webchats

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


1.  EDITORIAL - ESSENTIAL PRACTICAL PARENTING ADVICE LINKS

Hi All

Just as quick reminder here are a few of the essential Practical Parenting
Advice web links:

1)  Online Parenting/Child Behaviour Guide:

<http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/plus.htm>

2.  Over 100 FREE Printable Parenting Tips:

<http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/page5.html>

3.  Discussion Board:

http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/page22.html

Please take part in the online parenting community with over 70, 000
visitors per month!

Don't forget to keep your contributions coming in for the newsletter by
e-mailing me at:
AndyGill@...

Till the next time - look after yourselves!

Dr Andy Gill
Editor

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


2.  ARTICLE - MAKE BREAKFAST TIME, FAMILY TIME


Breakfast is the most important meal of the day as it’s when we 'break the
fast' of the night. It’s essential that your first meal of the day is
healthy and packed with nutrition because it’s the first opportunity the
body gets to replenish low energy reserves for the day ahead. Eating
wholegrain in the morning is a great way to boost energy and keep your
appetite curbed until lunchtime.

Breakfast time should be family time, but today’s parents lead extremely
busy and stressful lives that make it difficult for them to find the time to
sit down with their family around the breakfast table in the morning. As
they aren’t eating with their children, it becomes very difficult for
parents to monitor what they are eating. A report by Weetabix has revealed
that a worrying 25% of us put a low priority on our family eating healthily.

Cereal is a good source of the key nutrients often lacking in the diet.
Wholegrain cereal in particular, makes children less likely to snack through
the morning, and more likely to eat more of the recommended servings of
wholegrains.

  To coincide with the new school year and encourage families to spend more
time together, the Weetabix Food Company are giving you the opportunity to
win a karaoke machine!

The prize also includes a Weetabix hamper that includes 2 cartons of
Weetabix, 2 cartons of Weetabix Organic, 1 carton Weetabix Minis, 4
varieties of Alpen bars and 1 carton of Alpen. (Some of the products contain
nuts).

WIN FREE KARAOKE MACHINE BY CLICKING ON:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/CompWeetabix.htm

For more information on Weetabix products visit <http://www.weetabix.co.uk>

All applicants to this competition must be over the age of 18.

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


3.  ARTICLE - FEED YOUNG MINDS...


Smoothie maker and Letts Educational vouchers up for grabs

Thousands of school children across the country will be enjoying the up and
coming Harvest Festival by celebrating the best of British food recently
harvested from the UK’s fields, orchards and allotments.

Coinciding with British Food Fortnight, the Harvest Festival aims to make
everyone in the UK, particularly school children, more aware of the
diversity of fresh, home grown food.

But a survey of children’s eating habits, commissioned by Letts Educational,
shows that while they may be celebrating fresh produce this week, one in two
children are not getting fresh fruit and vegetables in their diet. The
survey also found that one in four parents didn’t know what their children
ate at school and just under a quarter of parents find it hard to get their
children to eat healthy food.

Letts Educational is launching a “Feed Young Minds” campaign to help
children and their parents understand the connection between poor diet and
poor educational performance. The campaign will provide schools across the
country with half a million free information packs. The packs will show how
a healthy diet and active lifestyle will help children achieve more at
school.

To celebrate the launch of the “Feed Young Minds” campaign, we are giving
you the chance to win a fabulous smoothie maker and vouchers for revision
guides and home learning books from Letts Educational.

WIN FREE SMOOTHIE MAKER:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/CompLetts.htm

For more information on products visit <http://www.Letts-SuccessZone.com>

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


4.  ONLINE PARENTING TV - LIVE WEBCHATS

Click on:
www.webchats.tv/webchats_group.php?Previous=yes&Category=Parenting


<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>
Subscribe to Free Practical Parenting Advice Newsletter:

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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Name: Dr Andy Gill
E-mail: AndyGill@...
Practical Parenting Advice Web Site:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>


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your relationship with your child.  Register now to win!
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<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>

The Practical Parenting Advice Newsletter provides a free public
service for parents and practitioners wanting advice and support on
children's behaviour, development and family relationships.  Web site:
<http://www.practicalparent.org.uk>

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<http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/recom.htm>

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<><>----------------<>WELCOME!<>----------------<><>

CONTENTS

1.  Editorial  - Encouraging Language Development

Claim FREE I Pod Mini

2. Feature Article -  "How Talking at Home Helps Young Children's Language
Development" by Dr Rosie Flewitt (2005)

3.  Article - "Gifted" - A Blessing or a Curse by Jill Curtis (2005)

4.  Holiday Parenting Tip - Planning Ahead is Everything!

5.  BBC Parenting Tips and Support - Essential Links

6.  New Channel 4 Series - Exceptional British Children Required

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


1.  EDITORIAL - ENCOURAGING LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT

Hi All

Big thank-you to Dr Rosie Flewitt on her brilliant article on encouraging
language development and the key role of parents and other family members.
We also have really interesting article from our old friend Jill Curtis on
gifted children.

Don't forget to keep your contributions coming in for the newsletter by
e-mailing me at:
AndyGill@...

Till the next time - look after yourselves!

Dr Andy Gill
Editor


<><>---<>CLAIM FREE I POD MINI<>---<><>

Claim your FREE I Pod Mini - UK Residents:
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<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


2.  ARTICLE - HOW TALKING AT HOME HELPS YOUNG CHILDREN'S LANGUAGE
DEVELOPMENT

By Dr Rosie Flewitt (2005)


Parents and siblings who encourage young children to maintain conversations
by ‘prompting’ and ‘propping up’ their talk, make a big difference to
children’s language development, says Dr. Rosie Flewitt, who has recently
completed research at the University of Southampton investigating why some
children are talkative at home but relatively silent in preschool.

Dr. Flewitt tracked the experiences of 3-year-old children during their
first year in preschool, making video recordings of them at home and in a
preschool playgroup. The research revealed that at home, the children were
all confident in their knowledge of what things were called, what they were
used for and where they were kept, and this confidence helped them to
express themselves verbally. For example, 3-year-old Jake had been at
preschool for almost 6 months but still tended to be quiet, often expressing
his wants and needs through body language and facial expression rather than
through language. By contrast, at home he spoke at length and had very
precise understandings of the names of items in his home. In the extract
below, Jake and a friend were setting up a racetrack on the carpet, with the
researcher video recording their play. Having assembled the track they
discovered it was not working, and asked the researcher for help:

Friend: (to Researcher) it’s not working
Researcher:  well it … you have to (pointing) untangle the things
Friend: (starts to untangle wires)
Jake:   (approaches friend, stumbles over a cushion on the track)
Researcher: and then Jake you’ll have to move the cushion won’t you?
Jake: (gaze to cushion) no it not a cushion (gaze to Researcher) it’s a bean
bag

This is just one of many occasions when the young children studied were
observed correcting other family members or visitors to the home about what
things were called. The families accepted these corrections readily,
treating the young children as authoritative ‘knowers’ not only of
specialised vocabulary, but also of facts and events. In the example below,
Jake and his mother pooled their knowledge to solve a problem when Jake
asked his mother where one of the farm workers was. Initially, his mother
forgot that he was away, but Jake reminded her, and this reminder prompted
her to remember when he would be back:

Jake:  (swinging on kitchen door) has Don gone back?
Mum:  Don? (washing up) Don’s at work isn’t he?
Jake:  is (swinging on the door) is he? (swings, then lets go of door) no
(walks towards Mum at sink) Don is at holiday
Mum:  oh yeh that’s right (washing up) I think he comes back tomorrow
Jake: (walks back to door and resumes swinging)

Mothers, fathers and siblings displayed deep understandings of the children’
s past experiences and particular interests, and this enabled them to
provide sensitive, fine-tuned assistance that prompted children to develop
their ideas through further talk, frequently leading to lengthy verbal
exchanges. For example, 3-year-old Tallulah, who was almost totally silent
in preschool but chatty at home, frequently had long conversations with her
mother at home, during which the mother prompted Tallulah to talk further by
reminding her of details. In the example below, the mother encouraged
Tallulah to tell the researcher about a past hospital visit. Throughout the
exchange, the mother prompted Tallulah by reminding her of the detail of
past events, and propped up her continuing talk by giving explanations that
kept the meanings clear, whilst continuing to place Tallulah at the centre
of the story-telling:

Mum:  you went to hospital didn’t you Tallulah when you were little?
Tallulah:  (smiles at Mum)
Researcher: did you?
Mum:  can you tell (Researcher) what happened to you?
Tallulah:  I had a … I had a sticker an they an the doctors tried to get it
out
Mum:  where did you put the sticker?
Tallulah:  up my nose
Mum:  (laughs, nodding)
Researcher: oh no you put a sticker up your nose?
Tallulah: a Noddy one but … but there’s a dog one called Bumpy
Mum: (to Tallulah) a Bumpy sticker? (to Researcher) that’s the dog was
called Bumpy
Researcher: (to Tallulah) but it was a Noddy sticker was it?
Tallulah:  (gaze to Mum)
Mum: (gaze to Tallulah) yeh we’ve still got it haven’t we (laughs) as a
souvenir … and what happened? did they give you a needle in your hand?
Tallulah:  (nodding) yeh
Mum:  tell (Researcher) she doesn’t know
Tallulah:  I had a needle on my hand
Researcher: oh dear did that hurt?
Tallulah:  no I didn’t mind
Researcher: didn’t you? that’s very good
Tallulah:  well it had some milk in it
Researcher: some milk in it right yeh and what did they do with the milk?
Tallulah: they put it inside it
Researcher: did they?
Mum:   well the anaesthetic looks like milk

In conclusion, the research findings show that talking with loved ones at
home can really help to boost young children’s developing language skills
and to increase their confidence in expressing themselves verbally. In
contrast to the new and busy world of preschool, where children have to
forge new relationships with many people who know comparatively little about
their lives, the unhurried and familiar context of home provides a unique
platform upon which children can practise their verbal skills and take
risks, free of any major threats to their self-esteem and always with the
safety net of fine-tuned support from other family members.


Dr Rosie Flewitt is a Research Fellow in the School of Education, University
of Southampton.  For further information on Rosie's work and contact details
please click on:

www.education.soton.ac.uk/info_and_events/staff_directory/index.php?link=ind
ividual.php&id=184

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


3.  ARTICLE - "GIFTED" - A BLESSING OR A CURSE?

By Jill Curtis (2005)
http://www.family2000.org.uk/


The most usual reaction on being told about a child who is ‘gifted’ is to
recall the image - which the press have ingrained in our minds - of a child
who has completed ‘A’ levels at an age when most children are at primary
school. We might even think of a young musical prodigy, who outstrips his
peers as they are struggling to learn the recorder!

Perhaps many parents dream of having a ‘gifted’ child who sails though
school with excellent marks and who also has perfect social skills, but this
is rarely what it is really like. What is meant by ‘gifted’ needs to be
examined more closely: it usually refers to a child who may outperform in
one or two areas but often has to struggle in others.

From the child’s point of view, it can be hard to know he is extremely
bright but feel at the same time ‘different’, not on the same wavelength as
his friends, and not to understand why. Moreover, a child who considers his
peers’ jokes or interests to be ‘kid’s stuff’ is not likely to be popular.
Trouble can come knocking on the door, too, when a child begins to race
ahead of his classmates and consequently gets bored during class. Danger
looms when some of the signs of being ‘gifted’ are misread as bad behaviour:
not sitting still, inattention because of boredom, high energy often not
channelled into run-of-the-mill work, and rebelling against routine.

These signs are often even interpreted as Attention Deficit Disorder or
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. I have heard again and again from
parents who have told me of the danger of a very bright, gifted, child being
diagnosed as having a special needs problem. I was told of children who were
seen as underachieving because they were not sufficiently stimulated, and
were mistakenly assessed as low-ability candidates. All parents of gifted
children told me that it is necessary to tailor the learning of a gifted
child to meet his needs before he becomes disinterested and acts out with
unruly behaviour.

It can go the other way too: intelligent children are often penalized for
poor handwriting, and although this may be because they are frantic to get
all their ideas down quickly, it can be because they are dyslexic. A child
seen as smart may have found ways of disguising this problem, and so a
special need is not picked up.


These are some of the problems I discuss in the chapter on ‘Being Gifted’ in
my book Does Your Child Have a Hidden Disability? There are many children
whose especial talents go unrecognised. And parents should be aware that
when their child has been recognized as gifted it may not be plain sailing
for either the child or the parents.

© Jill Curtis 2005
http://www.family2000.org.uk/

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>

20% DISCOUNT IN ASSOCIATION WITH AMAZON.CO.UK
Does Your Child Have a Hidden Disability? by Jill Curtis
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0340786795/practicparentiin

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


4.  HOLIDAY PARENTING TIP - PLANNING AHEAD IS EVERYTHING!

My husband and I go on holiday with our daughter once a year, and we
have never experienced any major problems.  However at home it is a
difference matter altogether!  Our daughter is now 9 years of age,
and still throws oscar-winning tantrums when she does not get her own
way.  At other times she is the most loving, kind and gentle child
you could ever meet.  So when we go on holiday, it is only for 7 days, so
we always ensure that she is going to be happy and content - after
all it is her holiday too.  Favourite toys, books, CDs, DVDs for the
journey.  We always holiday in the UK, so it is a long car drive.  We
always go self catering, or if it is a weekend then B&B.  We always
compromise on what we are going to do.  Usually if there is lots for
her to do, then she is usually happy to do something we want to do.
In the main, my husband and I are happy and relaxed if she is
entertained with things to do - and this is always the case when you
holiday at a fully equipped caravan and mobile home centre.  Meals
out are touch and go, but again if we take things for her to do, or go
somewhere child-friendly, there is rarely a problem.  The only major
problem we (or rather I) run into is the mass of washing when we get
home .....!

Thanks to the parent who sent this great e-mail!

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


5.  BBC PARENTING TIPS AND SUPPORT - ESSENTIAL LINKS

1. Put your questions to the experts
Dads – get chatting on our message boards! Experts from Fathers Direct are
on hand to answer your queries.  So whether you’ve got a question about
paternity leave, want to know how to juggle work and family life, or fancy
chatting about any aspect of fatherhood – log on to our message board!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cgi-perl/h2/h2.cgi?state=threads&board=parenting.dads&&
sort=T

2. Starting school
The first term at a new school can be an incredibly daunting time for your
child. Claire Halsey gives tips and advice on how to make the first few days
as easy as possible and explains how a bit of forward planning on your part
can make all the difference.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/your_kids/primary_starting.shtml

3. Awareness weeks
September is all about raising awareness of autism and group B streptococcus
(GBS) – the most common cause of life-threatening infection in newborn
babies in the UK. Find out more about both conditions and what you can do to
help.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/awareness_campaigns/sep_index.shtml

4. Tour a maternity suite
Expecting a baby? Why not take a look around a maternity unit via our
interactive 360-degree tours of the low-risk and high-risk delivery rooms
and find out about the equipment used.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/tv_and_radio/hes_having_a_baby/deliverysuite_
index.shtml

5. Packed lunches
Children don’t tend to be over excited about healthy eating, which is why it
’s up to us to make sure they get all the vitamins they need! Now they’re
heading back to school, find out how to liven up their daily lunchboxes.
With a range of tantalising suggestions, they’ll hardly miss their crisps
and chocolate!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/bigchallenge/changinghabits/lunchboxes.shtml

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


6.  NEW CHANNEL 4 SERIES - EXCEPTIONAL BRITISH CHILDREN WANTED

Please respond direct to Amy:

Hello Andy,

I’m hoping we might be able to talk about a new series I’m working on for
Channel 4 about exceptional British children… we are looking to assemble a
mixed group of 4 – 6 thirteen – seventeen year olds, in order to
‘troubleshoot’ issues which seem to confound experienced adults… a good
example would be creating and implementing an anti-truancy campaign in a
badly afflicted area.

We are looking for high ability kids, who, in their own way have achieved
remarkable things, be they academic, sporting, artistic, charity orientated,
entrepreneurial… I wonder have you run any news stories or features about
anybody who might fit the bill? Alternatively, would it be possible to run a
small mention of our search on your site?

It would be great to have a chat.

Thanks & best

Amy Sayer

Assistant Producer

0207 307 2732
Amy.Sayer@...

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>
Subscribe to Free Practical Parenting Advice Newsletter:

Send totally blank e-mail to:

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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Name: Dr Andy Gill
E-mail: AndyGill@...
Practical Parenting Advice Web Site:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>


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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
SURVIVING PARENTHOOD
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With the Better Behaviour Wheel you get an
upbeat, fun, and totally unique parenting tool
for managing your behaviour challenged kids...
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kids in less than a week...or your money
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<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>

The Practical Parenting Advice Newsletter provides a free public
service for parents and practitioners wanting advice and support on
children's behaviour, development and family relationships.  Web site:
<http://www.practicalparent.org.uk>

Tell you friends, family and colleagues about the Newsletter:
<http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/recom.htm>

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<><>----------------<>WELCOME!<>----------------<><>

CONTENTS

1.  Editorial  - Tell me about your Holiday Experiences

Claim FREE I Pod Mini

2. Article -  "Sorry " by  Sharon Charlton-Thomson (2005)

FREE Parent Coaching Support

3. BBC Parenting Support - Programmes to Watch Out For

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


1.  EDITORIAL - TELL ME ABOUT YOUR HOLIDAY EXPERIENCES

Hi All

Had a brill. family holiday in Portugal; the local people were so child
friendly; we often went into a restaurant quite late at night and did not
feel on edge because we had brought our kids with us.

If you have any parenting tips to pass on from your holiday experiences,
please let me have them and I will publish them here; email me at:
AndyGill@...

Till the next time - look after yourselves!

Dr Andy Gill
Editor


<><>---<>CLAIM FREE I POD MINI<>---<><>

Claim your FREE I Pod Mini - UK Residents:
http://www.freeipoduk.co.uk/index.php?REFID=195231

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


2.  ARTICLE - SORRY......

By Sharon Charlton-Thomson (2005)
http://www.parentcoaching.co.uk


Sorry……

We have all done it, peered down over our 4/5/6/7 year old and uttered those
words ‘Now, say sorry’ …and of course will they say it?

And when they do say it often sounds meaningless and can therefore feel
pointless.  Or is it?

At the parent coaching company ‘raising the well mannered child’ is one of
those challenges that comes up for our clients. The text books would have us
believe that up to the age of about 7 children find it very hard to take the
viewpoint of others, empathy is a skill still in its infancy and children at
this age can still be very egocentric.  Others would say that children as
young as 4 can develop empathy and know when they have done wrong by others,
who are we to believe?

We have given this some thought and wonder if it really matters what the
experts think, surely we know our children best and what is important is the
way we ask or expect a child to say sorry?

What do you think?

Sometimes we know when our child is sorry: A red face, a quivering lip…  Is
it then right to force them to squeeze out the immortal words? Does that
achieve anything, or is it meaningless? Is it better to force the words out
or to let it be?

What could be a more positive response, a more emotionally intelligent way
of dealing with this? Well, we could let our kids know that there behaviour
was wrong, that it had a negative impact on others and that there is an
alternative and help them think of that. We could firmly but gently
reinforce the message that in our family when we hurt others we apologise
and say sorry. We could teach the message of forgiveness when others say
sorry to us, and show how we say sorry to others…..

An apology gives us the opportunity to openly discuss and resolve conflicts.
When we graciously accept an apology in front of our children we are
teaching them how to be selfless and how to occasionally swallow one’s pride
in order to end conflict with a loved one.

In fact forgiveness is an essential part of the equation surely? Once we say
sorry it is nice to be forgiven and to be able to move on. By forgiving we
give up the blame, now that cant be all bad – no blame culture, yes please!

Often we get caught up in expecting an adult response from children, a
polite sorry, and yet so often these responses are beyond a child’s
capabilities.


Ten Top Tips

1. Make “I’m sorry” part of your vocabulary.   It’s just as important for
parents to say “I’m sorry” to our partner and to our children when we get
things wrong, as it is for us to teach them the importance of apologizing.
We all know how children mimic what they see—even when you wish they wouldn’
t. So give them something positive to mimic and you will teach them many
valuable lessons, including truth, integrity, morality and forgiveness. Lead
by your positive example.

2. Accentuate the positive.  So often we focus on the things we need to
apologize for and we forget to pay attention to the things we’re doing
right.

3. Don’t be too hard on your children or yourself.  I’m sure each of us
knows someone who is constantly apologizing for one thing or another, even
if it’s not warranted. When overused, saying “I’m sorry” can lose its
authenticity.   Teach your children the importance of saying sorry by
helping them to use it with meaning.

4. Let go of a grudge.  Sometimes situations get to a point where neither
person can say “I’m sorry” because the disagreement has gone on for so
long—or one or both of you don’t even remember what the argument was about.
Revaluate whether or not it’s worth spending your energy holding onto your
anger.

5. Accept the apology.  When you receive an apology from your children, let
them know that it is accepted. Apologies are important, but simply learning
to say “I’m sorry” is not enough. Learning to graciously accept an apology
is just as important as the apology itself.  Most importantly, by accepting
the apology we are teaching our children the power of forgiveness.

6. Don’t force sorry.  When children are forced to say they are sorry, they
learn that it's more important to say you're sorry than to tell the truth.
They learn that saying a few insincere words easily dismisses people and
problems and that they do not have to take responsibility for their actions.
They also learn that there’s no need to right a wrong. Just say you're
sorry, even if you don't mean it and everything will be fine.

7. Learn to make sorry an action, not just a word – Teach your children to
make amends and take responsibility for their actions.  So if your child has
just thrown their food on the floor, get them to clear it up, or if they are
very young, get them to just pick up one piece.

8. Help siblings to say sorry to each other.  Don't take sides, place blame,
or ask who did what.  Instead ask children, “Is there something you want to
say to each other?”

9. Don’t let saying sorry lead to feeding negative behaviour.  Sometimes
young children in particular will do something “naughty” to get your
attention.  Don’t kill yourself extracting a sorry, but go back to the
“ignore the bad, praise the good” or use distraction techniques for minor
infractions designed to gain your attention!

10. Use praise in young children.  When young children show they are sorry
for having hurt a friend or sibling, reward them with praise.   For example,
give them a pat and say “well done, that’s being nice” or “thank you”


Sharon Charlton-Thomson
sharon@...
www.parentcoaching.co.uk


<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>

FREE Parent Coaching in Association with Parent Coaching.co.uk

If you’d like a free, no obligation guaranteed, parent coaching session on
‘raising the well mannered child’ then contact Amanda@...
only the first 10 respondents will qualify.

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


3.  BBC PARENTING SUPPORT - PROGRAMMES TO WATCH OUT FOR

1. He’s Having a Baby
In a unique new series for BBC ONE and BBC THREE, Davina McCall presents
He's Having a Baby – following eight men on their very different journeys to
becoming first-time dads, all struggling to cope with the dramatic, funny
and difficult changes parenthood brings.
Don’t miss the first programme on Saturday 20 August, BBC ONE
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/tv_and_radio/hes_having_a_baby/


2. Love Map of the UK
Are you in a relationship? If so we need your input for a new survey! The
results will form the basis of a new BBC THREE programme, looking at the
fascinating differences in relationship patterns across the UK. Answer our
survey (anonymously if you wish) and then come back to the site or watch the
show to see where you fit into the Love Map of the UK!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/tv_and_radio/lovemapsurvey_index.shtml


3. Harmonious holidays
Taking the children on holiday can be an event in itself, but it helps if as
parents you have a clear idea of what you all want to achieve while you’re
away. Psychotherapist Paula Hall offers a few tips to help ensure your time
away is hassle free and you don’t end up arguing about who does the washing
up. Get your kids involved to see what they’re hoping to get out of their
holidays.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/couples/grumbles_holidays.shtml


4. Bad behaviour
You may be seeing a little more of you teenagers over the summer. So how do
you cope if they suddenly start being rude and behaving badly? We find out
where the anger might be coming from and how to talk to your child about
their behaviour.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/your_kids/teen_rude.shtml


5. The House of Tiny Tearaways
The BBC and Outline Productions are working on the second series of “The
House of Tiny Tearaways” with leading child psychologist Dr Tanya Byron. We
would like to hear from families and single parents with children between
the ages of 2 and 8 who wish to take part. Whatever your parenting dilemmas
or problems - we may be able to help. If you would like some more
information about the show please email:
tinytearaways@... or call us on 020 7428 6037


6. Troublesome Teenagers?
Has your child turned into a truculent teenager who you find difficult,
defiant or downright impossible? Has the simplest task turned into a battle
of wills?   BBC Science is making a second series of Teen Angels about
parenting older children aged 12 to 16.  If your family is at war and would
welcome the chance to improve the situation we’d like to hear from you.
Please get in touch with Jess on 020 8752 4026 or email teenangels@...
(leaving a phone number) or visit our website
http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/parenting/teen_angels.shtml
There is no commitment at this stage and all calls will be treated in strict
confidence.


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CONTENTS

1.  Editorial  - I'm Off On My Hols (Yippee!)

2. Article -  "Helping your Children Discover Themselves" by Tammy Harrison
(2005)

3. Recommended Links - BBC Practical Parenting Tips and Support

4.  Beech Safety - Sea Smart Code

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


1.  EDITORIAL - I'M OFF ON MY HOLS (YIPPEE!)

Hi All

Well holiday time is here again and we are off on our hols. to the Algarve
for two weeks; the whole family is excited and here are a few top tips for a
successful time:

1.  Get the children involved in the planning - PLAN ahead

2.  Make the holiday special time

3.  Try to get one to one time with your partner

4.  Recharge your batteries - don't talk about work!

5.  Give the kids extra freedom but within clear limits and routines

6.  Take time to talk to your kids

7.  Take care when swimming - be safe

HAVE FUN AND RELAX

Don't forget to keep those articles and parenting info coming for the
newsletter; email me at:
AndyGill@...

Till the next time - look after yourselves!

Dr Andy Gill
Editor

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


2.  ARTICLE - HELPING YOUR CHILDREN DISCOVER THEMSELVES

By Tammy Harrison (2005)


In Tarzan II, the future King of the Jungle struggles to belong in a world
in which he is very different. In his search for self, Tarzan faces tough
challenges. We are all on this life-long journey of self-discovery, and we
can help our child as she explores her place in the world.

ACCEPTING DIFFERENCES
We are all different. Even identical twins relish their differences. It is
when "different" becomes "less than" or "better than" that it presents a
problem. When acceptance is based on being the same as others, we interpret
our differences as something to eliminate or hide.  Our differences are
wonderful tributes to our uniqueness. The more we embrace them, the more
self-acceptance we gain. Here are a few ways we can help our children gain
self acceptance:

• Celebrate your child's uniqueness. If most of the children you know are
interested in baseball and your child wants to play the violin, encourage
his interest in music. Explore different activities with your child to see
where his interests lie. Let your child be your guide. If your daughter
looks bored to tears at a soccer game but her face lights up when she sings
in the drama production, there's your ticket.

• Avoid labelling your child or allowing others to label him, even if it is
a "positive"
label. Saying "You are the smartest student in your class" when he brings
home a great report card or, "You certainly have all of the artistic talent
in our family" when he draws a terrific picture may feel like encouragement.
However, tagging your child as the "best" or "smartest" actually puts a lot
of pressure on him. It separates him from his peers or family members and
sets up competition to out do others. Motivation then comes from the outside
rather than the inside. Instead, ask him what picture he is most proud of,
what he likes the most about his drawing, or simply say, "Tell me about it."

http://www.guerillamom.com/go/go.php/t2

• Teach your child that teasing, name calling, and exclusion from the group
are not helpful ways to resolve conflict. Teach your child respectful ways
to get what he wants and be clear that these other means are not acceptable.

• Give your child the words to use if he is teased, called names, or
excluded. "I am not for [teasing or name calling]" is an assertive response,
as is "I don't like it when you leave me out. How can we play together?"

FEELING CAPABLE
When a child's self-esteem is high, he can confidently handle challenges.
Feeling capable is a part of self-esteem, and we feel capable by
successfully meeting challenges. Here are a few ways to help build your
children's self-esteem:

• Let them help with activities around the house. Children want to help. Let
them whisk the eggs, sweep the floor, feed the pets, fold the clothes, or
water the plants.  Pick activities that are age appropriate so that your
child can experience success.  Acknowledge his helpfulness. You can probably
get something done quicker or with less mess if you do it yourself, but the
value the activity provides for your child far outweighs speed and neatness.

• Do not do things for your child that she can do for herself. Pick one
thing every week that you are doing for your child that she is able to do
for herself and let her do it.

• Let your child lead. Ask for his opinion or help solving a problem. Let
your child choose a family activity or what to have for dinner. Put your
child in charge of making sure that everyone has brushed his teeth, buckled
his seat belt, or turned off the lights at night.

By helping your children accept differences and providing them with
opportunities to feel capable, you'll encourage them in their journey of
self-discovery.


(c) 2005 - By Maggie Macaulay, MSEd., owner of Whole Hearted Parenting, a
parent educator, coach, public speaker, and co-founder of Whole Hearted
Adoption seminars.  Tarzan 2, by Disney DVD, is now available!  For more
information, visit  http://www.guerillamom.com/go/go.php/t2

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


3.  RECOMMENDED LINKS - BBC PRACTICAL PARENTING TIPS AND SUPPORT


1. Summer holidays
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/your_kids/primary_schoolhols.shtml

After the initial thrill of saying goodbye to school for six weeks, it’s
usually only a day or two before children start complaining about being
bored. We have some suggestions for low-cost activities to keep them
entertained through the summer.


2. A new message board for dads
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cgi-perl/h2/h2.cgi?state=threads&board=parenting.dads&&
sort=Te

Fatherhood can be full of joys and challenges. We’ve created a new ‘dads
only’ zone on our message board where fathers and fathers-to-be can chat and
share experiences, advice and support. Take a look!


3. Parenting programmes on the BBC
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/tv_and_radio/index.shtml

There’s plenty of parenting programmes on at the moment from Teen Angels to
Desperate Midwives. Visit our website to check the weekly line up, and if
you’d like to take part in a show, click on the links to find out more.


4. Junk food and your kids
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4636889.stm

Worried about how fast food and fizzy drinks could affect your children’s
health as they grow older? Check out the images created for a new BBC THREE
show Honey We're Killing the Kids to find out how one family was forced to
change its habits.


5. Choosing a career
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/your_kids/teen_career.shtml

The exams are over, so now it’s time for your child to decide just what they
want to do with their life. Many won’t know which way to turn so how should
you guide them through this tricky time?


6. Toddlers – outdoor fun
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/play_and_do/toddlers_outdoor23.shtml

Make the most of the summer sunshine and encourage your little ones to play
outside. Clare Walters has some activity suggestions to occupy your
energetic two and three year olds over the summer months.

7. Are you about to become a first time mum or dad?

If so we’d love to hear from you! Hat Trick Productions are making a
groundbreaking new TV show for BBC Television about new mums and dads. The
programme will follow nine young couples as they approach the birth of their
first child and face the life-changing challenges and excitement of caring
for a young baby. If you’d like to take part ring: 020 7871 2991, or text:
TVdads to 60300 or Email: dads@...

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


4. BEECH SAFETY - SEA SMART CODE

During the holiday season, the Coastguard is advising families to follow its
Sea Smart code at the seaside:

Spot the dangers
Always go with a friend
Find and read the safety flags and signs
Emergency? Stick your hand up and shout, tell a lifeguard or dial 999 for
Coastguard

We have 10 fantastic Sea Smart goody bags to give away.  Just email your
name and address to seasmart@... with (MAGAZINE/WEBSITE NAME)
as the subject line, before 20th August.


For more information on sea and beach safety, go to www.mcga.gov.uk/seasmart


<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>
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Buy your own Reward Chart for less than £3 and support our public service
work:
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NEW - Win a FREE Ocean Trek Reward Chart
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+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FREE PRACTICAL TIPS ON USING REWARD CHARTS - PART 4
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


DON'T GIVE UP TOO EASILY!
++++++++++++++++++++++++

Be persistent - a chart can stay blank for a while. Sadly, there isn't a
guaranteed timescale for success. If a chart stays blank for 2 weeks, or the
child is losing interest, try changing tactics or revamping your star chart
rules - make success easier - or take a break for several weeks.

If you feel that success is unlikely it's important to be realistic and ask
yourself if your goal is realistic at the moment. Equally you may feel that
success should be possible and yet you are struggling to make any headway,
in which case it may be time to seek out further help and advice.


MAKE UP THE RULES!
+++++++++++++++++++

For a chart to be successful the child must want to tackle the issue and
must also understand how the chart is going to work.

There are a number of ways you can use your chart and it is important that
you make up "the rules" that you all want to use and then stick to them.
Here are some of the ideas you can use :

What merits a sticker? Is it doing something once? Perhaps concentrating on
something for an hour? Or doing something at a key time of day? Remember
that this must be achievable and practical so, for example, "always tidying
away your toys" may be a tall order but "tidying up before we go out and
before we go to bed" might be more realistic.

When are stickers awarded?  There are two options here - make sticker time
part of your routine, perhaps at bedtime, or alternatively reward good
behaviour as it happens. To a certain extent your choice will depend on what
you are trying to tackle. Forming new habits will take some time (perhaps a
couple of weeks) and so you should choose a system which will give a child
one or two stickers per day.

Are there stages of achievement? It's a good idea to build in key stages for
children to reach as they progress along the chart. It's a nice idea to
offer two or three mini rewards or little treats when these are reached.


Buy your own Reward Chart for less than £3 and support our public service
work:
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If you would like more practical advice and support on parenting and child
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ENTER OUR FREE DRAW TO WIN GREAT RACING STRIPES PRIZES!

Overflowing with animal magic that the whole family can enjoy; RACING
STRIPES will be racing past the rental and retail winning post on 20 June
2005 courtesy of Momentum Pictures!

Featuring an all-star cast behind the voices of the animal characters,
Racing Stripes follows the story of young zebra Stripes (Frankie Muniz -
Agent Cody Banks 1 & 2) who thinks he’s a racehorse. Stripes is taken under
the wing of Channing Walsh (Hayden Panettiere - Ally McBeal, Bug’s Life),
the farmer’s daughter who has the same aspiration as her new pet - to ride
in the big race.  Features the voices of Dustin Hoffman and Whoopi Goldberg.

We have the following great prizes to give away:

5 copies of Racing Stripes on DVD
5 backpacks
5 plush toys
5 sticker sheets
5 pencil cases
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To enter FREE prize draw just complete online form by clicking on:

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Draw ends June 27th 2005

If you would like more practical advice and support on parenting and child
behaviour please click on following link and try the 5 week guide:

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CONTENTS

1.  Editorial  - Please Send me your Contributions Now!

2. Article -  "Are You a Good Enough Parent?" by Sharon Charlton-Thomas
(2005)

3. Parenting Support - New Anti-Bullying Website

4.  Article - "Travel Tips for Families on the GO!" by Tammy Harrison (2005)

5.  Book Extract - What Every Parent Should Know Before their Child Goes To
University" By Jane Bidder (2005)

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


1.  EDITORIAL - PLEASE SEND ME YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS NOW

Don't forget to keep those articles and parenting info coming for the
newsletter; email me at:
AndyGill@...

Till the next time - look after yourselves!

Dr Andy Gill
Editor

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


2.  ARTICLE - ARE YOU A GOOD ENOUGH PARENT?

By Sharon Charlton-Thomson (2005)
www.parentcoaching.co.uk


The term ‘good enough parent’ was adapted from the term ‘good enough mother’
who was first coined by the eminent child and family psychologist Donald
Winnicott. Someone called Bruno Bettelheim did all parents a great service
by stating that the job of parenting was to be ‘good enough’ and not to be
perfect! Hoorah!!!

Bettelheim argued that the pursuit of perfection as a parent was
fundamentally flawed as it suggested a hope in the parent that a child might
be perfect.

For those of you that heard me on Radio 4 recently you’d have heard me get
quite heated on this subject, arguing, as I did, that the notion of perfect
parenting was madness and that it is our very fallibility that makes us
human and real. Life is messy and mistakes are made.

So, we will all, us included, make mistakes as parents, probably many of
them and not only that, it is absolutely fine to do so.

And, provided that we give generously and warmly of ourselves to our
children, provided that we can create a secure and relatively stable
environment for them to grow in, guess what, they are able to cope with our
mistakes and nine times out of ten learn something from them.

So how come so many parents feel ‘not good enough’

Well Bettelheim said in 1988 that:

Today, however, parents feel much more is demanded of them if they are to
raise their children successfully in a complicated world: moreover they are
obliged to bear this responsibility without much prior experience.

He went onto describe how extended families have become more and more
detached emotionally and physically making it less likely that we look to
our own family for advice and that if we seek advice we fear criticism from
others.

Is this still true?

We would say yes, perhaps even more so as we live more and more in a society
that promotes perfection, a society where more and more experts tell us what
to do and how to do it and we shout our mantra: don’t be expert led be child
led!’
Learn to trust your intuition and to understand your child that is what
leads to good enough parenting.

Our view is that the only fundamental ‘must do’ for parents is to provide
time for their parenting, the ‘how to’ then becomes something that is unique
to each family rather than a ‘this is the only way to do it’ mantra, that’s
why when working with us our clients will get access to many techniques and
parenting strategies and we encourage them to be curious as to what will
work in your family rather than swallow theories whole.

Since life is messy parent coaching can help to sort the mess. To help
clients accept their current reality, get clear on how they want things to
be and help them plan to get there. That’s what we do (just incase you were
wondering?)

Ten Ways to be a good enough parent

1. Doesn’t swallow whole advice from others but carefully considers how and
if it is useful for them and their family
2. Sets aside time for their parenting
3. Values themselves as a parent
4. Knows what kind of parent they want to be, how they want to raise their
children
5. Allows herself/himself to make mistakes
6. Allows there children to make mistakes
7. Apologises sometimes when they get it wrong
8. Recognises they have their own needs
9. Knows that they cant be perfect
10. Tries to have clear boundaries, follow through on consequences and use
praise in there parenting and follows through most of the time.


FREE TELEPHONE PARENTING COACHING SESSIONS

So, if you’re seeking to be a good enough parent, to give up any desire to
raise kids perfectly, or just to learn how to trust your own intuition more
then apply today for one of 5 FREE telephone coaching sessions. 5 lucky
readers will get just that by emailing us at coach@...
deadline for entries is 30 June 05

Sharon Charlton-Thomson
sharon@...
www.parentcoaching.co.uk

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


3.  PARENTING SUPPORT - NEW ANTI-BULLYING WEBSITE

Just to let you all know that I have just set up an anti-bullying
website.  I am going through some issues with my Son Lewis who is 7
who is being bullied at school.  It would be nice to get Parents
together going through this for help and advice, especially from
parents who have already been through it, and can help in some way.

Here is the address to join:
  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Anti-bullying/

Could you possibly let member know of the group, it would be nice for
people going through it, or have been through it!!

Thanks.

Debs

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>

4.  ARTICLE - TRAVEL TIPS FOR FAMILIES ON THE GO!

By  Tammy Harrison (2005)


I can honestly say that some of my fondest childhood memories include our
cross country car trips.  Not only did we cover the state of Ohio from South
to North every Thanksgiving and August Hayden family reunion for as long as
I can remember, but when I was 10, we took our first of many trips to Long
Boat Key, Florida, a mere 22 hours and counting from our home in Cincinnati
and later in Lincoln, Nebraska.  Can you say road trip?

To this day, I remember the sound of the tire on the asphalt seams in
Columbus and the beauty of the stars in the sky when we were out in the
country with no city lights to take from nature’s wonder above in the plains
of Nebraska.  I will also never forget my sister throwing up all over the
back of our station wagon (and my brother) and having to finish the
remaining two hours of that cold November trip with the windows down.  Try
as he might, my father never could get the smell out of that car and
eventually sold it, scent and all!

With my own family now spanning toddler hood to double digits, I always have
travel games on hand to keep our inquiring minds wanting to know more than
just the answer to the age old question, “Mom, are we there yet?”  But
beyond the travel games, here are a few tips I’ve found most useful to
create lasting and hopefully happy memories as we take our trips down Route
66.

Fun
When it comes to media options, today’s vehicles offer more opportunity to
plug in than accessories you can remember to pack.   For the video inclined
passengers, give those classic travel games a lift and pick up a copy of
"Are We There Yet?" Starring Miles the Goose is produced by Banyan
Productions, producers of the hit cable television show "Trading Spaces".
This DVD is available at http://www.milesthegoose.com.  This fun DVD makes
travel games come alive in both an interactive and musical format.  Perhaps
the best bonus about this DVD is you don’t have to take it on the road if
your vehicle is not equipped.  Simply learn the games at home with your
family and lead them in the fun on the road.

Balance the visual stimulation with a basket full of fun, and quiet, options
to encourage your kids to imagine the best.  Books, both in hard copy and on
tape, brain gym activities using pen and pencil, and low maintenance art
supplies such Crayola’s Wonder Line of markers and paper, will unleash the
Picasso in them all (http://www.crayola.com).   Include lap desks for a
sturdy working surface and don’t forget tactile items such as mid-size Legos
for those who like to tinker and travel size board games for a little
friendly challenge.

Exercise
Nothing like a well-timed game of tag at the nearest rest stop to get the
kinks, and any cranky pants, out of the car and back in stride.  Recent
studies recommend that our children need 60 minutes of exercise every day.
Travel days should be no different so plan your route to include two to four
stops and pack a surprise to go along with the fun.  Think chalk for
hopscotch, jump ropes for a jumping contest, and bubbles to enchant your
little ones.  Parents and kids alike will benefit from getting out from
behind the seat belt and into a wide-open space to have some fun.  Visit
http://www.kidshealth.org for great tips on exercising and keeping your kids
fit at home or on the road.

Food
If you want to save both time and money, plan a picnic to enjoy along the
way.  Eat just as you do at home.  Pack nutritious and healthy options to be
offered on a schedule, not as an activity to stave off boredom.  Depending
on the length of your trip, you might consider a portable cooler that you
can plug into your car.  Stock it with bottled waters, naturally stain free
for both car and clothes alike.  Choose both child friendly and adult sizes
with pop tops to minimize spills.  Include self contained snacks such as
apples and carrots that pack the crunch of chips but keep the mess to a
minimum, and protein packed sandwiches to keep everyone satisfied until you
reach your destination.  Pack more than enough of each rider’s favourite in
individual bags and small shapes to make eating a breeze if you choose not
to picnic on your exercise break.  Got a sweet tooth?  If surviving close
quarters without bouncing off the walls is your goal, share the love, but
not the sugar.  That being said, don’t underestimate the power of a Tootsie
Pop when all else fails to induce the quite game for your chatty Cathy in
the 3rd row.  Just use it as a last resort and hopefully not before you are
halfway there.  BlueSuitMom.com (http://www.bluesuitmom.com) offers healthy
and simple recipes and travel tips for families on the go.

Rest
One of the main reasons we travel with our families each year to get away
for the stress of our daily lives and take a break.  Riding in the car can
be a relaxing time, with new things to see and learn about while lulling us
into a calm state a mind, thanks to the hum of the highway.  Don’t assume
that you have to have an activity for every moment of the trip.  In fact,
too much stimulation and distraction can be unsafe for the driver and bring
on an unfortunate case of car sickness for the weaker stomachs in the group.
Just as you do at home, designate a time for rest in your day.  Bring along
a CD of purely instrumental music designed specifically to encourage
relaxation.  Time this activity around mid-day to encourage a nap out of any
one who might want one.  You’ll be surprised to see your older kids nod off
first.  Just be sure your driver has a fresh cup of coffee at hand to
counteract the pull of the peace that descends each row in tow.  Believe it
or not your insurance company can be a great resource on offering safety
precautions you can take while on the road with your family, and to help
moms and dads stay alert and focused while driving a car load long distance.
The following sites are just a couple we’ve reviewed,
http://www.einsurance.com or http://www.geico.com.

Basics
Outfit your car with basic survival items to keep you all clean and
comfortable as you go.  Include tissues, baby wipes, hand sanitizer, and a
small first aid kit to include both Benadryl for sudden allergies and
Pepto-Bismol for upset tummies.  And finally, though I hate to say it, make
sure you have strategically placed receptacles for those unpredictable
messes that might come your way, just as my sister surprised us all so many
years ago.  Check out Smart Mom Solutions™ Smart Mom Sak, a mom-friendly air
sickness bag designed to keep liquid messes of all kinds contained while you
travel with your family (http://www.smartmomsolutions.com).

Happy Trails!

Molly Hayden Gold is the creator of The GO MOM! Organizer, a licensed
product with MeadWestvaco Consumer and Office Products and sold at major
retailers nationwide.  Gold’s insights into family scheduling are sought by
print and on air media alike.  "Are We There Yet?" Starring Miles the Goose
is produced by Banyan Productions, producers of the hit cable television
show "Trading Spaces".  This DVD is available at
http://www.milesthegoose.com.

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


5.  BOOK EXTRACT - WHAT EVERY PARENT SHOULD KNOW BEFORE THEIR CHILD GOES TO
UNIVERSITY

By Jane Bidder (2005)

IN ASSOCIATION WITH AMAZON.CO.UK GET 30% DISCOUNT:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0954821912/practicparentiin


Chapter 11 - Packing

I HAVEN'T GOT ANYTHING TO WEAR!

And you thought students only needed a couple of pairs of jeans and
t-shirts… The good news is that your future student teenager won't be
nagging you for a clothes allowance every week or month. The bad news is
that she won't have saved up her summer holiday money to get the clothes she
needs before she goes.

Don't go mad. Two pairs of jeans might not be enough if she can't work the
washing machine but she won't need six pairs either. Point out that she
probably won't have the storage space she might have at home. So if she
takes too much, there won't be anywhere to hang it. (If she was ever going
to, that is.)

Encourage her to take a mixture of student casuals and the odd outfit for
more formal occasions. OK, so she won't be seen dead in a dress (when were
you born, Mum?). But many university tutors and departments organise drinks
parties/socials even if your teenager is more used to clubbing. So a smart
pair of jeans won't go amiss.

My student daughter has a tendency to bare her navel, even when she's not in
the bath. Sneak in a couple of warm woolly jumpers when she's not looking.
She might just be cold enough to wear them, later on. Choose the clothes
according to the university's location. Cardiff can be very wet and East
Anglia, windy. St Andrews can be freezing but also has a microclimate of its
own which means many students wear shorts up to November.

BOOKS

Well she is going there to study, isn't she? Is there a department reading
list, hidden in that information pack the university has sent? If so, order
the books for her so she can take them up and be ready. If there isn't a
list, you could try getting her to ring the department and ask for a list in
advance. Second thoughts, she's right. They'll think she's a nerd. But do
encourage her to pack her old A level notes and essays; it's surprising how
much they come in handy. She might even be able to crib from old work.

ADDRESS BOOK

Does she know your office number? Does she know grandad's address so she can
send him a birthday card? Buy a hardback notebook to copy down important
information for her along with her student identity number, national health
number, bank account number and other information at the back, in case she
loses the originals. Also give her a diary so she can write down lectures
and tutorials and so on. She won't use it but it will make you feel better.

FUNNY/RUDE POSTCARDS AND STAMPS

It might make her more inclined to keep in touch.

  TIP

Remind your offspring to get photos done of themselves. These are often
needed for student union cards and so on and it saves time and money
(theirs, not yours) if they take them with them.

  COMPUTER

Most universities expect students to bring their own computers. Laptops can
be easily brought home at the end of term but they are also easy to pinch at
university. Many students find it easier to work on big screen computers but
they are a pain to bring home. We've personally chosen the latter. Stock her
up with floppy discs so she can save everything. Or she could email her work
back to the computer at home. Check what the hall policy is on computer
links and costs. Spread the cost by paying monthly instalments or checking
out the second hand section at your local computer store.


Roni Jay

Publisher

White Ladder Press

Great Ambrook, Near Ipplepen, Devon TQ12 5UL

01803 813343

visit us at www.whiteladderpress.com for some interesting and quirky books


<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>
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Buy your own Reward Chart for less than £3 and support our public service
work:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/Reward%20Charts.html

NEW - Win a FREE Space Adventure Reward Chart
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/Comp%20reward%20charts.htm

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FREE PRACTICAL TIPS ON USING REWARD CHARTS - PART 3
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HOLD A PARENTS' MEETING!
++++++++++++++++++++++++


It is important to think through why your child will want to use the chart.
Simply telling them why their parents think it’s a great idea doesn’t work!

There are four basic things that will motivate your child and these are
worth thinking about in advance, and discussing with your child :

The fun of owning and using a chart.  Kids always love collecting the
stickers.
Achieving the goal.  Waking up in a dry bed, not feeling cross and
frustrated.
Being praised.  Children love to be praised and to please other people in
their family.
Getting a reward.  This can be as simple as collecting the stickers but it
is a very good idea to offer some form of rewards for success too.
Importantly, this should be something the child wants - but it should be a
little treat rather than a huge present.

Now is also the time to help your child as much as possible with the issue
you’re trying to tackle. It’s a good idea to do some background research,
there are almost certainly things you can do to boost their chances of
success:

Think of practical way you can help.  For bedwetting; leaving lights on in
the toilet, lifting a child in the night to go to the loo.

Introduce new things into your routines and make key events more ‘enjoyable’
.  Play ‘hunt the shampoo’ before hair washing, or keep some favourite books
in the loo if you’re focusing on toilet training.

Practise what you preach.  Wash your own hands before meal times!

Think about energy levels.  After snack time children tend to be more
alert - this is a good time to practise new skills like times tables
Try to eliminate distractions.  Should a child be trying to practise music
with the television on?

Use positive words and emphasise the benefits of success.  It’s important to
practise what you will say - a relieved parent is tempted to say “well done
you didn’t wet the bed” it is much more positive to say “I am really proud
of you. Well done! you’ve got a dry bed!”. Imagine how you want the child to
feel in these situations “I am relieved and surprised I managed it” or “I
did it, this feels great!”

Use reminders but try not to nag.  Try to avoid any temptation to keep
saying “Remember if you do this you get a star" but do give them a positive
reminder once or twice a day and try to do this when they are alert and not
distracted .

Keep being positive - avoid showing your frustration or disappointment Try
not to dwell on any setbacks - as parents we are quite naturally
disappointed if children don’t succeed but you need to stay positive. Rather
than saying “Oh dear, you’ve wet the bed” try to saying “You’ve had a little
accident - Don’t worry - we’ll try again tonight and I’m sure you’ll have a
dry bed in the morning”


Buy your own Reward Chart for less than £3 and support our public service
work:
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behaviour please click on following link and try the 5 week guide:

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All the best

Dr Andy Gill

Webmaster


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Practical Parenting Advice Web Site:
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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>



If you would like more practical advice and support on parenting and child
behaviour please click on following link and try the 5 week guide:

http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/plus.htm

All the best

Dr Andy Gill

Webmaster


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CONTENTS

1.  Editorial  - The Top 5 Parenting Web Links

2. Feature Article -  "Getting Your Kids to Cooperate" by Elizabeth Pantley
(1996)

3. Baby Charity Seeks Pregnancy in the Workplace Stories - Request for Help

4.  BBC Practical Parenting Advice - Child Behaviour and Family Support Tips

5. The "Positively" Dirty Report - A Look at Parents and Children's
Attitudes Towards Getting Dirty:

6.  What every parent should know before their child goes to university -
Practical Advice and More

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


1.  EDITORIAL

The Top 5 Parenting Web Links


Hi All

After loads of requests here are the top most visited 5 Practical Parenting
Advice web links:

1.  Parenting Tips
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/page5.html

2.  Online Parenting Course
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/plus.htm

3.  Child Behaviour Quiz
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/popquiz1.htm

4.  Parenting Discussion Board
http://pub5.bravenet.com/forum/show.php?usernum=344606440&mode=&cp=

5.  Child behaviour Reward charts
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/Reward%20Charts.html

Don't forget to keep those articles and parenting info coming for the
newsletter; email me at:
AndyGill@...

Till the next time - look after yourselves!

Dr Andy Gill
Editor

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


2. FEATURE ARTICLE

"Getting Your Kids to Cooperate"

By Elizabeth Pantley (1999)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1572240407/practicparentiin


Question:  How can I get my kids to cooperate with me? I’m constantly
nagging and complaining, not that it does any good! It seems like it starts
in the morning and doesn’t end until they are all asleep. I get so
frustrated, I really don’t know what to do. Help!

Think about it: This is the number one complaint of parents around the
globe. It’s a biggie — purely because there are so many things we must get
our kids to do (or not do!). If you’re waiting for your child to start
cooperating of his own free will — you might want to pack a lunch. Things
won’t change on their own. It takes consistent, effective parenting skills
to change your children’s behaviour and to encourage your children to
cooperate, willingly, on a regular basis. It will take practice, patience
and persistence on your part. Once you’ve made a few changes in your
approach, you’ll find that you’re no longer praying for bedtime, but
actually enjoying your children.

Be specific: Don’t make general comments that hint at what you would like
done, such as, “It would be nice if somebody helped me clean up.”  Don’t
make it sound as if compliance is optional by starting your sentence with
“Will you? Could you? Would you?” or ending your sentence with, “Okay?” Make
your request clear, short and specific, “Please put your dishes in the sink
and wash the table.” or “It’s six o’clock. Gather your homework and come to
the table.” Practice making clear statements that clearly identify what you
need or that describe the problem without elaboration and lecturing.

  Set Priorities: Use the “When/Then” technique, also known as Grandma’s
Rule. This method simply lets your child know the sequence of his
priorities. Work first/Play second. “When you have finished your homework,
then you may play your new computer game.” “As soon as your pyjamas are on,
we’ll read a book.” “The minute the dishes are washed, you can go out and
ride your bike.”

Give more choices: Offer your child a choice,  “Would you like to sweep the
floor or dry the dishes?” You can also use a sequence choice, such as,
“What would you like to do first, put on your panamas or brush your teeth?”
Another way to use choice is the time-focused choice, “Would you like to
start at 8:00 or 8:15?” If a child creates a third option, simply say, “That
wasn’t one of the choices” and re-state your original statement. If a child
refuses to choose, you choose for him. It’s important that when you give
your child a choice that he learn to live with the consequences of his
decision. So if your little run is running amok in the grocery store, you
can say, “You have a choice. You can walk beside me or ride in the cart.”
The minutes he takes off you can pick him up, put him in the cart and say,
“I see you’ve decided to ride in the cart.”


  Lighten up: Use humour to gain cooperation. A bit of silliness can often
diffuse the tension and get your child to cooperate willingly. It also can
help you feel better about your day.

Stay calm: Avoid letting your emotions take control. Don’t yell, threaten,
criticize or belittle. Instead, ask yourself a question, “What is the
problem?”  Then, make a statement of fact, such as, “There are dirty dishes
and snack wrappers in the TV room.” Pause. Be silent. And stare at your
children. It’s amazing that kids will know exactly what you’re thinking.
Most often, they’ll respond by cleaning up. If not, back up your approach
with one of the other solutions.


Use knowledge and skills: Read parenting books and learn new skills. For
example, my book, Kid Cooperation (How to Stop Yelling, Nagging and Pleading
and Get Kids to Cooperate) has lots more suggestions and practical ideas and
has a 30% DISCOUNT:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1572240407/practicparentiin

  <><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


3.  BABY CHARITY SEEKS PREGNANCY IN THE WORKPLACE STORIES

Request for Help


Tommy's, the baby charity, is looking for parents who have had a
distinct experience involving pregnancy and the workplace. This could be
negative or positive. We want to hear equally from parents who feel
they've been discriminated against for being pregnant (or perhaps for
asking for paternity leave in the case of dads) AND from parents who had
a very positive experience of pregnancy in the workplace (i.e. found that
their employers were especially understanding.)

This is for a media campaign over the coming months and we'd seek
payment from the newspaper or magazine for any case studies used.
If you have a good story please call Nick Morgan on 0207 398 3440 or
email nmorgan@....

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


4.  BBC PRACTICAL PARENTING ADVICE

Child Behaviour and Family Support Tips:


1. Common teenage problems
The teenage years are fraught with all kinds of problems - from low
self-esteem and peer pressure, to a lack of motivation and chronic
untidiness. With a bit of foresight, you can help your teen with all of
these.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/your_kids/teen_problems.shtml

2. Looking after baby
A new baby means more love in your life, but it can also mean sleepless
nights, feeding worries and crying. From breastfeeding to colic, we’ve got a
range articles to help you with the challenges of caring for a new baby.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/your_kids/babies_index.shtml

3. Avoiding arguments
It’s normal to argue with your partner, but many rows happen for the wrong
reasons and get out of hand easily. Try our checklist by relationship
psychotherapist Paula Hall to help you to avoid conflict.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/couples/comm_avoid.shtml

4. Researchers from the University of Washington have suggested that
four-year-old children who watch more television than average have an
increased risk of becoming bullies, whereas those who interact more with
their parents are less likely to bully others. What do you think? Why not
get chatting on our message boards?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cgi-perl/h2/h2.cgi?thread=%3C1112782346-17558.22%40foru
m2.mh.bbc.co.uk%3E&find=%3C1112782346-17558.22%40forum2.mh.bbc.co.uk%3E&boar
d=parenting.kids&sort=Te

5. Time to play – Bank Holidays are on their way!
The weather’s finally improving and we’ve got plenty of long weekends to
look forward to. So how can you keep your youngsters entertained in the
sunshine? Forgotten the rules to some of your childhood games? Fear not –
help is at hand. And if you’re feeling really adventurous why not join in
yourself?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/play_and_do/primary_outdoor710.shtml

6. Return of Little Angels
Miss any of the last series? Dr Tanya Byron is back on BBC ONE from 14
April, so you can catch up on the programmes first shown on BBC THREE. The
production team is also making a third series, this time about parenting
children aged 3-10, and is looking for contributors. For more information
call Antonia on 020 8752 4036 or Jenny on 020 8752 5010. There’s no
commitment at this stage and calls will be treated with the strictest
confidence. You can also find out more from the BBC THREE website:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/tv/get_involved/index.shtml

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


5.  THE "POSITIVELY" DIRTY REPORT


A Look at Parents and Children's Attitudes Towards Getting Dirty:

http://www.lexispr.com/persil/persil_positivelydirty_report.pdf


<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


6.  WHAT EVERY PARENT SHOULD KNOW BEFORE THEIR CHILD GOES TO UNIVERSITY

Practical Advice and More


Dear Andy

I attach some information about our forthcoming book What Every Parent
Should Know Before Their Child Goes to University by Jane Bidder. Around
400,000 people a year now apply for full time undergraduate courses. Advice
on how to choose a university isn’t difficult to find, but parents want to
know how to prepare their child and themselves both emotionally and
practically. This book, written by a parent with two children at university,
explains everything from finding accommodation, packing and budgeting, to
coping with homesickness, exam stress and the changes at home now your
student is finally off your hands (at least during term time).

What Every Parent Should Know Before Their Child Goes to University is
published on 13 June.

PRE-ORDER AND GET 30% DISCOUNT:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0954821912/practicparentiin

Best wishes

Roni Jay


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Name: Dr Andy Gill
E-mail: AndyGill@...
Practical Parenting Advice Web Site:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk
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PRACTICAL PARENTING ADVICE NEWSLETTER
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SURVIVING PARENTHOOD
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Buy your own Reward Chart for less than £3 and support our public service
work:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/Reward%20Charts.html

Win a Free Space Race Chart:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/Comp%20reward%20charts.htm


FREE PRACTICAL TIPS ON USING REWARD CHARTS - PART 2


  What sort of things can I tackle with a chart?

You can use a chart to tackle all sorts of everyday family issues, for
example:

Educational Achievements:
Practising; reading, writing, telling the time, learning times tables, etc.
Daily Activities:
Washing hands, getting dressed, teeth brushing, getting ready for bed, etc.
Developmental Stages:
Potty training, sleeping through the night, becoming dry at night, tying
laces, learning to ride a bike or to swim, etc.
Getting Rid of Problem Behaviour:
Hitting, kicking, telling tales, tantrums (over 3's), thumb sucking,
refusing to do chores, swearing, etc.
Encouraging Good Behaviour:
Tidying up, manners, sharing, staying at the table, e

Stick to One Issue

Think about exactly what it is you're trying to tackle with a chart & make
sure you're being realistic.

Only try to tackle one issue at a time and always make sure that the goal
you are setting for your child is realistic and achievable within a 3 to 4
week timeframe.

It's also very important to define the problem. As parents we might want our
kids to "behave at mealtimes" or "be nice to their brothers and sisters" but
it's important that you try to define things in clearer, practical terms.

One idea is to draw up a list, e.g. "behaving at mealtimes":

Things we shouldn't't do.  Things we should do.

Put our elbows on the table.
Use our knives and forks.
Reach across people and grab things
Ask someone to pass the things we want
Use our hands instead of our knives and forks
Stay sitting at the table until everyone has finished
Turn around in our chairs
Wash our hands before we sit down at the table

FOCUS TO ONE BEHAVIOUR TO REWARD - KEEP THINGS MANAGEABLE AND NOT
COMPLICATED!

Buy your own Reward Chart for less than £3 and support our public service
work:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/Reward%20Charts.html

If you would like more practical advice and support on parenting and child
behaviour please click on following link and try the 5 week guide:

http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/plus.htm

All the best

Dr Andy Gill

Webmaster


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E-mail: AndyGill@...
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PRACTICAL PARENTING ADVICE NEWSLETTER
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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
SURVIVING PARENTHOOD
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buy your own Reward Chart for less than £3 and support our public service
work:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/Reward%20Charts.html

Win a Free Space Race Chart:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/Comp%20reward%20charts.htm

FREE PRACTICAL TIPS ON USING REWARD CHARTS - PART 1

Before using a chart, please take a few moments to look through to read
through the Hints and Tips guide supplied with it.  Let's get started with
the main things to consider when using a chart...

The Golden Rules

  Stick to one issue and be realistic
  Think about ways you can help
  Stay positive and concentrate on praising success
  Involve your child before you start using a chart - they must want to
tackle the issue and must also understand how the chart is going to work
  Never take away stickers or rewards
  Reward as soon as possible after the behaviour you want to encourage
  If you are worried about any issue always ask for help or advice

Why do charts work?

Charts work for 2 basic reasons:

1. Children love them

2. They break the cycle of nagging and telling off that it is so easy to
fall into as parents - it sounds corny, but a chart provides a really
positive way (using encouragement and praise) for the whole family to try
and tackle and issue.

If you would like more practical advice and support on parenting and child
behaviour please click on following link and try the 5 week guide:

http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/plus.htm

All the best

Dr Andy Gill

Webmaster


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Practical Parenting Advice in Association with Amazon.co.uk

40% DISCOUNT - The Bestseller "The Dinner Lady" by Jeanette Orrey (2005)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0593054296/practicparentiin

Fantastic, yummy recipes which are easy to use. No fancy ingredients that
are costly/or take ages to prepare. Have tried 5 so far and they have gone
down a treat.  Great ideas for parents and real support for Jamie Oliver's
better school meals campaign!

If you would like more practical advice and support on parenting and child
behaviour please click on following link and try the 5 week guide:

http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/plus.htm

All the best

Dr Andy Gill

Webmaster


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<><>---<>SUPPORT OUR SPONSOR<>---<><>

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<><>----------------<>WELCOME!<>----------------<><>

CONTENTS

1.  Editorial  - Living With Teenagers and Reward Charts

2. Feature Article -  "Helping Your Child's Physical Development" by the
Child Development Institute

3. Sign Language - Resources for Professionals and Parents

4.  New FREE Competition - 10 Space Race Reward Charts

5. Keeping Kids Safe by the Sea - Ignorance Can Cost Lives

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


1.  EDITORIAL

Living With Teenagers and Reward Charts

Due to popular demand we have extended the website to include free support
on Living With Teenagers:

http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/Teenagers.htm

Our child behaviour reward charts are proving very popular:

http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/Reward%20Charts.html

Please let me have your articles or contributions around parenting
and children's behaviour for the next edition printed in 2 weeks time.

Please send to:

AndyGill@...

Thanks and have a great few weeks!

See ya

Dr Andy Gill
Editor

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


2.  FEATURE ARTICLE

Helping Your Child's Physical Development

By the Child Development Institute
http://www.cdipage.com/


Babies and young children learn primarily through movement and their senses
how to deal with gravity, to keep their balance, to move their body through
space, about time and sequence of events.

A child's growth is a continuous process, a gradual sequencing from one
stage of physical and mental development to another-"Each child sits before
he stands; he babbles before he talks" (Gesell). It's a marvellous process
to watch and a marvellous opportunity for parents to foster and implement
important periods of growth.

At School

In reality, the responsibility of the parent is twofold. Not only should
proper emphasis be placed on movement and exercise in the home but whenever
possible the school's approach to physical education should be monitored. A
good P.E. program in elementary school ideally will offer three or four
periods a week of 45-60 minutes' duration. The program need not necessarily
be highly structured and should certainly not be highly competitive.
Movement is the key, and that can include simple activities (running in
place, jumping jacks) and games (Simon Says, Twister). The P.E. program
should progress developmentally from grade to grade and should be designed
to offer maximum benefit to every child, no matter how small or
Late-maturing.

A word of caution: Parents must be careful of physical conditions that might
limit a child's movements and participation. Most schools ask, for their
records, that a medical report be on file at the school, but it is the
parent's responsibility to see that the report is accurate and up to date
and that everyone on the faculty who needs to be aware of the report knows
about it.

In the Community

For youngsters who are interested in competitive sports, almost every
community offers after-school and summer sports such as soccer, baseball,
and football. But these highly organized activities can promote stress if
emphasis is placed on winning rather than just enjoying the game. An
observant parent can usually quickly tell if the child is paying a high
emotional price rather than just having fun. And it should be noted that in
some highly organized sports, the youngsters spend more time standing around
and watching than actually participating.

The local YMCA and YWCA usually offer well-rounded pro- grams that include
fitness exercises and swimming The fitness program may consist of carefully
structured aerobics, and the swimming program is usually designed for
individual mastery rather than competition.

At Home

Parents are enormously busy people-perhaps both parents work outside the
family; perhaps there are several children in the family with differing
needs and demands; perhaps it is a one-parent family. The activities that
follow are offered with precisely those situations in mind. They are simple,
inexpensive, enjoyable, arid can be adapted for groups (the whole family
and/or friends) as well as for individual youngsters.

Simple Motor Activities

Keep a simple record of your child's physical development. Every year on his
birthday, write down his weight and height. Find a convenient wall space,
place a ruler on the child's head, draw a line, and date it. Children love
to watch how much they have grown. While your child is standing in place,
have him count the number of times he can go up and down on his toes.

Set aside time in the family schedule for a family walk, perhaps just 15
minutes, or a Saturday afternoon leisurely hike for an hour or more
depending on the youngster's age and stamina. A family walk is a great way
for parents and siblings to interact and chat-something that is often
difficult to fit into the busy lifestyles of the nuclear family. Walks can
also provide an in-depth look at changes in Mother Nature and the community
during different seasons of the year.

And then there are the very simple motor activities: hopping, jumping,
skipping, and climbing. All are important in a child's growth patterns. Each
one calls upon various muscle groups to require extensive use.

Remember hopscotch? All that is needed is a piece of chalk and a couple of
pebbles. If parents will recall their own childhood, they may tap into some
games that were fun and that, without knowing it; build strong bones and
muscles.

Try rolling-on a level plane or on a hill. Inside. Outside. How many
different ways can the child roll? Arms outstretched; arms at sides; one arm
stretched the other to the side, Slow rolls. Fast rolls.

Head and neck exercises. Turn head side to side, down and up, while
standing, sitting, lying on the back and on the stomach.

Have the child walk across a fallen log or along a narrow curb. Have him
repeat the walk, holding a bulky object in one hand, then the other hand,
over his head. Repeat going backward and sideways.

Row a boat on dry land. The child must calculate which oat to use in order
to turn a specific direction. (The parent will have to figure this out
first!)

Water activities for pool, lake, or rub (be prepared to get splashed!). Hold
a ball and ask the child to hit it with his hands (right and left), elbows,
knees, feet. If swimming lessons are available, enrol your youngster. The
earlier, the better.

Just tossing a ball from parent to child is excellent for eye-hand
coordination as well as large muscles. Don't let the activity get boring.
Vary it by asking the child to kick the ball (using alternate feet) or
batting it (with alternate hands). Ball size is important. Large enough for
a success experience. Small enough for a challenging experience.

Don't forget beanbags-quite a different experience from throwing or catching
a ball. Let the child toss and catch it himself-standing, sitting, lying
down, alternate hands. Can he catch it on the top of his hand? a shoulder? a
knee? a foot?

Differing chairs. The child sits down and gets up from chairs and stools of
varying heights, descending and standing up slowly and without using his
hands. The lower the chair, the more difficult the task.

Kangaroo hop. Have the child hold something (for example, a beanbag-or if
you want to make it difficult, an apple or an orange) between his knees,
then jump with feet together. Frontwards, backwards, sideways.

Save your large bleach bottles. With the bottoms cut off, they make nice
scoops for catching games, using tight objects such as a whiffle ball or
beanbag.

Wheelbarrow. Hold the child's legs white he "walks', with his hands along a
marked route.

Find a place where the child can see his shadow. Then see how creative you
can be in directing his activities: "Make your shadow tall, short, wide,
thin, make it jump, stand on one foot, touch its feet," etc.

Most of the activities that have been described can, for the most part, be
done inside or out. It is important that they be done in a spirit of good
fun and recreation. Once they become a chore, the child, either subtly or
overtly, will decrease his effort and the sought after physical development
will diminish. The secret probably ties in offering a variety of activities
with an attitude of good cheer. And there may be a bonus - parents may
discover that they, too, are in better shape!


Thanks to the Child Development Institute for this article:
http://www.cdipage.com/

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


3.  SIGN LANGUAGE

Resources for Professional and Parents

Hello there,

I'm not sure if I've contacted you before, but wondered if you would be
interested in our British Sign Language materials and/or adding a link to
our site - www.deafsign.com

DEAFSIGN is a SchoolZone 5 Star rated and National Grid for Learning
approved site for British Sign Language (BSL) Resources and Information.

We publish the LET'S SIGN SERIES of educational books, posters, CDs and
flashcards including the  Early Years & Baby Signs collection - with new
posters and flashcards just published.

Many parents are interested in Baby Signing with hearing babies and young
children  - to develop pre-verbal communication and early language
development and also as a general life skill for their children - our Early
Years book is already popular for this purpose - as it is with families with
special needs and deaf children.   It would be good to hear from you if you
are interested in our work - please contact me if you would like more
information.

With best wishes,
Cath Smith
www.deafsign.com
NGfL approved
for British Sign Language Resources and Information
Tel: 01642 580505

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


4. NEW FREE COMPETITION

10 Space Race Reward Charts:

http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/Comp%20reward%20charts.htm

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


5.  KEEPING KIDS SAFE BY THE SEA

Ignorance Can Cost Lives!

Nearly half of parents (49%) do not know that the Coastguard is an emergency
service and like the Police, Fire Brigade and Ambulance can be called by
dialling 999 according to ‘The Sea Smart Safety Survey’ undertaken by the
Maritime and Coastguard Agency (MCA).

Despite packed beaches during summer months, the MCA Sea Smart Safety survey
reveals that over half of parents interviewed (55%) would not call 999 and
ask for the Coastguard if they saw someone in difficulty in the sea.  Of
these, half (27%) would call 999 but wouldn’t know which emergency service
to ask for, causing a dangerous delay in assistance being provided.

According to Chief Coastguard, John Astbury:  “Time is of the essence when
someone is in danger in the sea or on the surrounding beach or cliff tops.
If there is any delay in sending out a Coastguard rescue team, lifeboat or
helicopter then it can cost lives.  As the weather is improving and another
hot and long summer is predicted, it is essential that people are aware of
the potential dangers and that they must call 999 and ask for the Coastguard
if they see anyone in trouble.”

Worryingly, if they saw someone in difficulty in the sea, a quarter of those
interviewed would put their own life in danger by trying to save them
themselves, rather than calling for assistance.  John Astbury adds:  “This
might be the instinctive thing to do for many people but this is the worst
course of action they could take.

“They are not only putting the life of the person they are trying to rescue
in danger but also their own.”

The MCA Sea Smart campaign, which promotes sea and beach safety to parents
of young children to reduce the large number of preventable accidents and
deaths on our coastline every year, is urging parents to make sure that they
and their children know what to do if the unexpected happens while at the
beach.

To prevent a family day out turning into a tragedy, the MCA Sea Smart
campaign advises parents to follow these simple guidelines:

·       If you see anyone in trouble, dial 999 and ask for the Coastguard
·       Check the weather and tides before you leave
·       Keep children within reach at all times
·       Always tie inflatables to an adult on the shoreline (including
inflatable toys, rubber rings, inflatable boats, lilos, etc, which can
easily drift miles out to sea with just a light breeze).

·       Keep clear of cliff edges - they can be slippery when wet
·       Don’t drink and drown - eating and drinking before swimming may give
you cramps


Clare Waller or Gemma Crisp at the Sea Smart Press Office on
Tel: 020 7592 1982 or email: seasmart@...
Out of hours contact:  Siobhán Griffiths, Tel:  0777 550 5176

Alternatively, visit the MCA website at www.mcga.gov.uk/seasmart

Local safety information leaflets are available from local tourist
information centres and can be accessed by visiting the MCA website.


<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>
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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
SURVIVING PARENTHOOD
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Hi All and Happy Easter!

Have Your Say About the Future of Practical parenting Advice.

We are carrying out a New Quick Poll on what you want from the website;
please click on the link and go to the Quick Poll (half way down the page on
left):

http://www.practicalparent.org.uk

Try Child Behaviour Reward Charts:

http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/Reward%20Charts.html


If you would like more practical advice and support on parenting and child
behaviour please click on following link and try the 5 week guide:

http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/plus.htm

All the best and thanks for your continued support

Dr Andy Gill

Webmaster


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E-mail: AndyGill@...
Practical Parenting Advice Web Site:
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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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New FREE Family Competition:

1)  Win Tickets to Chessington World of Adventures:

http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/CompChessington.htm

2)  Reward Charts

Encourage Good Child Behaviour and Support Practical Parenting Advice:

http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/Reward%20Charts.html

All the best

Dr Andy Gill

Webmaster


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<><>---<>SUPPORT OUR SPONSOR<>---<><>

“Baby or Toddler not sleeping at night?”
The ‘It’s time to sleep’ programme equips parents with practical methods to
encourage their babies/toddlers to sleep independently. Learn about
controlled comforting techniques and start on the journey to a good night
sleep.
http://www.smileybaby.co.uk/its_time_to_sleep_dvd__book.htm

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>

Hi All

Practical Parenting Advice Announces a New Partnership with
Rewardscharts.com
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/Reward%20Charts.html

Hope everyone is well; this SPECIAL EDITION of the Newsletter announces an
exciting partnership with Rewardcharts.com.  We have teamed up to offer
quality child behaviour reward charts which are reasonable priced and come
with practical parenting tips and hints.

The reward charts work based on sound research and are ideal for parents and
professionals working with families.  Suitable for a wide age range.

Even better for every purchase (starts as little as £2.99), 50% goes
directly to Practical Parenting Advice to help us keep our public service
FREE!

To find out more click on:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/Reward%20Charts.html

We also have 10 charts to give away in a FREE prize draw:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/Comp%20reward%20charts.htm

All the best and thanks for your support!

Dr Andy Gill
Editor

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>
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Name: Dr Andy Gill
E-mail: AndyGill@...
Practical Parenting Advice Web Site:
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PRACTICAL PARENTING ADVICE NEWSLETTER
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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
SURVIVING PARENTHOOD
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Advertising and Sponsorship Opportunities - Support Award Winning Free
Public Service

Hi

Currently we have space on the Practical Parenting Advice home page for a
text advert (normally the name of your site with a few promotional words)
which currently is only £35 per month but we can reduce it to £60 for two
months.  The site attracts over 25,000 unique visitors per month and 45,000
page views.

You could also sponsor the e-zine Newsletter for £15 per edition or we have
a special offer of pay for 5 and get one free (only £75).  Ad is up to 40
words; the newsletter goes out to nearly 4,000 targeted subscribers.

Let me have your Ad if you wish to proceed and please make payment using
PayPal Donate button at the bottom of home page at:

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All the best and thanks for your support and time.

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Webmaster


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PRACTICAL PARENTING ADVICE NEWSLETTER
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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
SURVIVING PARENTHOOD
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

<><>---<>SUPPORT OUR SPONSOR<>---<><>

“Baby or Toddler not sleeping at night?”
The ‘It’s time to sleep’ programme equips parents with practical methods to
encourage their babies/toddlers to sleep independently. Learn about
controlled comforting techniques and start on the journey to a good night
sleep.
http://www.smileybaby.co.uk/its_time_to_sleep_dvd__book.htm

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>

<><>---<>SUPPORT OUR SPONSOR<>---<><>

Guided Relaxation Story to Help Children Sleep.
In the story children are encouraged to use their imagination to build
sandcastles, play with dolphins and ride a boat at the seaside. Most
children are asleep before the CD has finished. Listen to an audio
demonstration at
http://www.hypnosishealthcare.com/seashoreebedtime.html

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>

The Practical Parenting Advice Newsletter provides a free public
service for parents and practitioners wanting advice and support on
children's behaviour, development and family relationships.  Web site:
<http://www.practicalparent.org.uk>

Tell you friends, family and colleagues about the Newsletter:
<http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/recom.htm>

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<><>----------------<>WELCOME!<>----------------<><>

CONTENTS

1.  Editorial  - Call for More Articles Please!

2. Feature Article -  "Tips and Hints on Dealing with Aggression in
Children" by Parentline Plus

3. "Parent Child Game Challenge" - Online Parenting Tips with FREE Child
Behaviour Wheel

4.  FREE Competition - Win Relaxation CD to Help Kids Sleep

5. Conference - 2005 First Candle/SIDS Alliance Conference

6.  BBC Parenting - Featured Links

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


1.  EDITORIAL

Call for More Articles Please!

Hi all, please let me have your articles or contributions around parenting
and children's behaviour for the next edition printed in 2 weeks time.

Please send to:

AndyGill@...

Thanks and have a great few weeks - keep warm, it's so cold in the UK!

See ya

Dr Andy Gill
Editor

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


2.  FEATURE ARTICLE

Tips and Hints on Dealing with Aggression in Children

By Parentline Plus
http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk/


Feeling angry and upset at times is natural and acceptable, so let your
child know this.

Acknowledge their feelings, but set limits: "I know you feel angry, but I
don’t want to see any hitting; biting; shouting or swearing."

Watch for triggers. Are there particular events that set your child off? If
you start to see when, you can sometimes work out why.

If children see problems solved with raised voices or fists, they learn to
follow suit. If you want to stop a child being violent, you may first have
to address what is happening around them.

Learn how to diffuse an angry situation. Lower your voice instead of
shouting and look them in the eye.

Talk with and listen to your child when they’re calm. Look at why they might
be feeling bad before looking at what they may do to control their
behaviour.

You can’t wave a magic wand and vanish away a child’s unhappy feelings. What
you can do is help them learn how to manage what they do about them. So
encourage them to say, "I feel angry/left out/put down", instead of hitting
out.

Get help for yourself. Children are often upset when they see their family
having problems. You can ring Parentline Plus, free, on tel: 0808 800 2222
or ask your own GP for someone to talk to or visit www.relate.org.uk.

It isn’t easy loving or showing affection for a child who is being hurtful.
But they need to be shown that they are acceptable. Separate who they are
from what they do by saying, "I love you and always will, but I don’t love
what you’re doing."

Be positive and praise them when they do well. Blaming, shaming, or
punishing children can make them feel worse about themselves and so even
more aggressive.

Coping with a potentially violent child is very challenging and no parent
should expect to have to do this alone.


Thanks to Parentline Plus for this great article:
http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk/

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


3.  "PARENT CHILD GAME CHALLENGE"

Online Parenting Tips with FREE Child Behaviour Wheel

An enhanced 5 week parenting guide which can be easily used at home and is
applicable to all young children (2-7 yrs.).  The methods have been proven
to be effective, based on research findings, and are relevant to every day
behavioural difficulties such as temper tantrums, defiance, demanding,
whining and aggression.

SEE SPECIAL INTERNATIONAL OFFER:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/plus.htm

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


4.  FREE COMPETITION

Win relaxation CD story to help kids sleep:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/Comp%20relaxationCD.htm

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


5.  CONFERENCE

2005 First Candle/SIDS Alliance Conference

Dear colleagues, friends and families,

Please find below a link to the preliminary announcement for the 2005 First
Candle/SIDS Alliance conference. In keeping with our long-standing
reputation, the conference is designed to unite researchers, health
professionals and affected family members together in one forum to share
knowledge and experiences as we work towards our goal of a future where all
babies survive and thrive!

This one-of-a-kind conference will no doubt prove to be an enriching
experience for all involved, and we hope you will consider joining us.   To
learn more about the conference and/or to register to receive conference
materials, please visit:

http://www.firstcandle.org/print_friendly/conference_2005.html

To those that have experienced the death of a precious baby . . .

As you receive this announcement, either directly from the conference
organizers or through a support organization, we would like to extend our
most sincere sympathy. We do understand that reminders of a loss can be
painful, even years later. Our hope is that you will appreciate receiving
information about the effort made through this conference to provide better
care and support for affected families, as well as improved prevention
strategies for the future.  We hope you will consider joining us at the
conference, helping to build a strong coalition between parents and
professionals.

Warm Regards,

Laura L. Reno

Conference Director

800-221-7437

laura.reno@...

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


6.  BBC PARENTING

Featured Links:

1. Child of Our Time
The series has now finished for this year, but have you taken the online
quiz? Based on research from the series, the questions are designed to
challenge some of our preconceptions about parenting and help us make better
choices. Why not see how you measure up?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/tv_and_radio/child_of_our_time/quiz_index.sht
ml


2. Postnatal depression
Postnatal depression is more than the 'baby blues' so many women go through
in the first days after birth. Recognising the symptoms quickly can lead to
prompt treatment - our expert Heather Welford has some advice.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/having_a_baby/birth_pnd.shtml


3. Get Parenting! workshops
If you live in the north-west of England, you may be interested to find out
if there are any parenting classes in your area. Even if you don’t live in
the region, we’d be interested in to hear what you’ve got to say about the
idea. The Get Parenting! Project is focused in the north-west initially,
with plans to possibly expand it to the rest of the UK in the future.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/get_parenting/


4. Counting sheep
Are your little ones keeping you awake? Or maybe your partner’s snoring is
driving you mad. BBC One is investigating our sleep patterns with a one-off
show on Wednesday 2 February. For more advice about getting a good night’s
sleep and to discover your own sleep profile, take a look at the designated
website.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/


5. Teenage angst
Being a teen can be fraught will all kinds of problems. Some may experience
low self-esteem, others may suffer from peer pressure, while others simply
refuse to get out of bed! How do you help your teen through the difficult
years?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/your_kids/teen_problems.shtml


<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>
Subscribe to Free Practical Parenting Advice Newsletter:

Send totally blank e-mail to:

PracticalParenting-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Name: Dr Andy Gill
E-mail: AndyGill@...
Practical Parenting Advice Web Site:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>


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PRACTICAL PARENTING ADVICE NEWSLETTER
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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
SURVIVING PARENTHOOD
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

<><>---<>SUPPORT OUR SPONSOR<>---<><>

“Baby or Toddler not sleeping at night?”
The ‘It’s time to sleep’ programme equips parents with practical methods to
encourage their babies/toddlers to sleep independently. Learn about
controlled comforting techniques and start on the journey to a good night
sleep.
http://www.smileybaby.co.uk/its_time_to_sleep_dvd__book.htm

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>

<><>---<>SUPPORT OUR SPONSOR<>---<><>

Disciplining Kids is Never Much Fun
Here's a new tool that even the kids will like.  The Better Behaviour Wheel
has been generating  excitement from families, therapists, and educators
everywhere.   It's upbeat, fun, and it works.  If you have kids, you NEED
the Wheel!
http://tinyurl.com/44uet

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>

The Practical Parenting Advice Newsletter provides a free public
service for parents and practitioners wanting advice and support on
children's behaviour, development and family relationships.  Web site:
<http://www.practicalparent.org.uk>

Tell you friends, family and colleagues about the Newsletter:
<http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/recom.htm>

If you like Practical Parenting Advice please vote for us by clicking
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3,750 Valued Subscribers - to unsubscribe send blank e-mail to:
PracticalParenting-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

<><>----------------<>WELCOME!<>----------------<><>

CONTENTS

1.  Editorial - Support Our Sponsor SmileyBaby.co.uk and Sleep Through the
Night (bliss!)

2. Feature Article -  "Reducing Family Stress:  How do you do that!" by
Parent Coaching Company (2005)

3. Tommy's Campaign - Britain Voted Bottom of the List for Parents

4.  YoungMinds - The YoungMinds Parents Information Service

5.  London Grid for Learning - Parents in London can now Benefit from Safer
Internet Access

6.  FREE Better Behaviour Wheel - Weekly Prize Draw!

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


1.  EDITORIAL

Support Our Sponsor SmileyBaby.co.uk and sleep through the night (bliss!)

Hi all, one of our sponsors for this edition is SmileyBaby co.uk who are
offering access to an effective DVD based sleep programme which has achieved
very encouraging results in helping children to sleep through the night and
parents to get a much earned rest! Click on:
http://www.smileybaby.co.uk/its_time_to_sleep_dvd__book.htm

Hope you enjoy this bumper filled edition and don't forget to enter our NEW
FREE competition to WIN a Better Behaviour Wheel at:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/comp%20wheel.htm

If you have any parenting and child behaviour contribution for the
newsletter please send them to me at: andygill@...  Get
published around the world to over 3,700 people.

See ya

Dr Andy Gill
Editor

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


2.  FEATURE ARTICLE

Reducing Family Stress:  How do you do that!

By Parent Coaching Company (2005)
http://www.parentcoaching.co.uk


Register for a FREE 30 minute coaching session with one of the parent
coaching company’s professional coaches. Offer open to our subscribers until
Friday March 18th  2005


We all know the kind of things that create stress between children and
parents: tantrums, mood swings, lack of cooperation, power struggles,
sibling rivalry…..ooh the list goes on! It’s at time like this that our
clients often pick up the phone for support, and we all wish we had a ‘fairy
godmother’ on call! But do we really need one. What we find is that once the
heat of the moment has passed it is often by truly understanding our
children’s behaviour (and our own!) that we can best plan to help minimise
them. We often hear ourselves say to parents, ‘ok now that you know that
about your child, what action is a great action to take’ and heh presto out
pops an amazing answer!

We believe, as I am sure you know by now, that every parent has the answer,
that every parent knows his or her child better than anyone else and that
the challenge comes in the heat of the moment, when accessing that answer
seems impossible.

Once we understand our own and our children’s behaviours, once we are aware
of them we have a choice of what to do about it. Then we can start to
promote more of the behaviours we want to see and less of those we don’t.

Are there are magic tricks we can sure with you? Well there is a belief that
we hold that we will bravely share, and that is that in order to change our
child’s behaviour it is our behaviours (the parents) that has to change
first. There you go we’ve said it, it’s up to us to start the ball rolling!

Any mum or dad who has tried to change the behaviour of their son or
daughter without addressing their own behaviour first will now what an
impossible task this is. We simply cannot force a child to do anything, what
we can do it to change the way we respond to influence a change in or child.

Got it?

Now for the frustrating bit, just as it takes time for us as adults (and for
our kids) to build up negative patterns of behaviour it also takes time to
build up patterns of positive behaviour. That’s why we go on and on about
being consistent so much, because consistency breeds habit, breeds success.

Also, as so often happens. When we change our behaviour towards our kids
they often up the anti – almost like they are testing us to see how much
resolve we have. Aren’t they clever!!! This in turn is what makes being
consistent so hard at times as there behaviour may get worse just at the
time when we are required to stick to our ground, be firm and fair and be
consistent.

This is where support can be a lifeline. Support from partners, friends, a
coach (I would say that wouldn’t I!) can be invaluable to motivate and
encourage us to stay on track. Don’t forget that every one to one coaching
programme with us includes access to a parent coach in between sessions, so
there is always someone there when the going gets tough…….

Finally, before we share with you some tips. Remember that it is NORMAL for
children to have some challenging traits (didn’t you?) And if we can see
these moments as an opportunity for relationship, for intimacy and for
learning then we won’t go far wrong.


This month if you’d like to have a FREE 30 minute coaching session on
challenging behaviour with your child then register today by emailing
coach@... with free 30 minutes in the title. This offer is
open to the first 50 registrations only by Friday 18th March 2005.


<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>

3.  TOMMY'S CAMPAIGN

Britain Voted Bottom of the List for Parents


In comparison with its closest rivals, Britain is the worst nation for
parents, according to a new survey commissioned by Tommy’s, the baby
charity. The survey - which used the top developed countries by GDP - asked
1000 British parents whether those nations are more or less parent-friendly
than Britain.[1] In every case more parents rated Britain less
parent-friendly.  The table below outlines the results[2]:

Nation
  % Who Said It Was More Parent-Friendly Than Britain
  % Who Said It Was Less Parent-Friendly Than Britain

US
  30%
  5%

Spain
  26%
  5%

France
  25%
  5%

Italy
  25%
  5%

Canada
  19%
  2%

Australia
  17%
  3%

Germany
  16%
  6%

Japan
  18%
  9%

“These results are a wake-up call,” said Tommy’s chief executive Jane
Brewin. “Since we started the Parent Friendly Awards, parenting facilities
have improved dramatically, but this shows how far we still have to go.”

  Tommy’s is committed to improving conditions for UK parents. So we are
giving parents and parents-to-be the chance to help themselves by voting for
the 2005 Parent Friendly Awards, in association with Emma’s Diary, from 15
January–15 February 2005. Our belief is that by rewarding those
organisations that go the extra mile for parent friendliness we’ll drive up
the general standard.

Our survey shows that lack of time and money are the biggest gripes.

  Bad Timing

A fifth of parents (20%) admitted that at present they don’t spend enough
time with their children. That equates to approximately one million parents
nationwide (and that doesn’t include parents of children aged 10-16.)[3]
Men are the worst affected: almost half (46%) bemoaned the lack of quality
time they spend with their children.
Jobs are also a factor - 47% of the full-time employed said they’d like to
see their children more.

Pricing problems in the UK

Almost two thirds (63%) think children’s toys are overpriced.
Children’s clothes are also an issue – 45% said they’re too expensive.
A quarter of parents (24%) employ paid help to look after their children.

Training for the Future?

Nearly a third (32%) felt unprepared for parenthood and called for the
government to introduce some form of pre-parenting training.


We believe companies and organisations can help. If facilities and services
were more parent-friendly, parents would be more likely to take their
children with them when they go shopping or on holiday. That’ll mean more
time spent together and less money spent on finding cover.

To see the complete survey results or for any other information please
contact Tommy’s Press Office 020 7398 3440 or email Nick Morgan at
nmorgan@... or Ash Anand: aanand@...

Tommy’s, the baby charity was set up in 1992 and through a national
programme of research aims to end the heartache caused by premature birth,
stillbirth and miscarriage.  It also provides information on healthy
pregnancy to parents-to-be and health professionals.


For further information visit www.tommys.org or call 08707 70 70 70.

Tommy’s Parent Friendly Awards was started to raise awareness of the needs
of parents, parents-to-be and families and to encourage companies to take
their needs into account. Since the launch of the Parent Friendly Awards,
Tommy’s has credited over 150 organisations for vast improvements and higher
levels of service for parents with young children. The awards are voted by
parents, for parents.

Emma's Diary was established in 1992. Its mission, through its regular
publication Emma's Diary, is to provide parents-to-be with the best
possible, up-to-date and objective information on pregnancy and parenting.
Emma's Diary provides a wealth of facts and information relating to
pregnancy, starting a new family and what's happening politically,
economically and socially that could affect the new family. Emma's Diary can
be obtained from GP's surgeries and midwives.

For further information on Emma's Diary, please contact: Nadine Joiner,
01628 640811, e-mail nadinej@...

  <><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


4.  YOUNG MINDS

The YoungMinds Parents Information Service


As parents, what we want for our children is that they live full and
creative lives, be able to cope with difficult situations and make the most
of their abilities.

In other words we want them to have good mental health. We are not talking
about wanting our children to be little saints or models of perfection but
ordinary children making the most of their potential and opportunities.

But the pressures on family life and children are considerable, and many
children and young people have trouble growing up. Children usually show
their hurt, anger or frustrations through their behaviour.

Many parents or carers also face difficulties. This may be as a new parent
struggling to cope with night-time crying, parents of toddlers coping with
temper tantrums, settling children into school, understanding their
teenagers moods and adjusting to the emerging young adult, or there may be
financial or relationship problems, health problems or isolation from family
and friends.

Many of us as parents are unsure about what to do next.

The YoungMinds Parents Information Service exists to meet the needs of
parents and carers - to hear their concerns and help them find a way
forward. The service is also used by worried practitioners working with
children and families.

The Service operates at two levels:

1. The first is a frontline service run by an experienced team who receive
calls and explore callers’ concerns. Callers can be sent a range of
information tailored to their specific needs.

2. The second level is a “callback” service available for those callers
whose situations are particularly complex, and who need more time and
expertise than the frontline service can offer. The advisers normally offer
a one-off consultation of up to 50 minutes on the telephone, giving callers
the chance to think things over and make sense of what is happening. The aim
is to help them find ways of managing their children’s difficulties and to
become more confident in approaching and making the best use of existing
statutory and voluntary agencies.


If you would like to know more about YoungMinds, which is the national
charity dedicated to promoting and improving the mental health of all
babies, children and young people, or you’d like to know more about our
resources and our Parents Information Service, please visit
http://www.youngminds.org.uk/whatwedo/


Tarryn Hawley, YoungMinds Public Affairs & Development Manager

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


5.  LONDON GRID FOR LEARNING

Parents in London can now Benefit from Safer Internet Access and Support
their Local School with LGFL@ Home


Parents in London who are anxious about their children using the Internet at
home for schoolwork can now rest assured thanks to a brand new
family-friendly broadband service called LGfL@home.  The new service not
only protects children from unsuitable content found on the Internet but
also benefits local schools through a cash-back facility for every account
set up and free connections for those schools.  This new broadband service,
available to parents of children attending local schools in London and
provided by the London Grid for Learning (LGfL) Trust filters Internet
content before it reaches the home helping to make the Internet a safer
place for children. This means that unless the parent unlocks the service
from their end, children are much less likely to be able to access sites
with unsuitable or adult content.

Parents subscribe to the service by logging on to www.lgflhome.net and when
signing up, selecting their local school.

Brian Durrant, Chief Executive of the LGfL Trust, commented: “The Internet
is both wonderful and terrible. It holds an enormous wealth of information
and opportunity for learning but also a plethora of obscenity. The LGfL
Trust has worked on behalf of London schools and LEAs to provide a new,
safer home Internet service with an education focus.”

Using the Internet can be extremely beneficial for a child’s educational
development, but many parents understandably fear that the risk of them
accessing content of an adult nature is too great.  The LGfL@home service
helps parents to overcome such fears as it uses commercial standard filters,
which offer higher levels of protection than many of the retail products
currently available.  Also as the service is filtered and updated ‘at the
source’ this eliminates the need for parents to keep remembering to update
locally stored software.  The filtering can be turned off by the parent,
using a password that is changed on a fortnightly basis.

“Together with an informed approach to using the Internet wisely, we believe
this service will help the pupils, parents and schools of London benefit
from safer Internet access,” commented Tim Stirrup, Development Manager for
the LGfL.

The LGfL@home standard service ‘homeconnect’ offers speeds of up to 2Mbps,
40 times faster than dial-up.  Connection to the LGfL network also means
strengthening the ICT links between schools and the home.


For more information, visit www.lgflhome.net

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>

  6.  FREE BETTER BEHAVIOUR WHEEL

Weekly Prize Draw!


We have just started a new great weekly prize draw where you can win a FREE
Better Behaviour Wheel, to find out more click on:

http://www.practicalparent.org.uk/comp%20wheel.htm

We are also offering the Wheel FREE for all new subscribers to the practical
online parenting tips course at:

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PRACTICAL PARENTING ADVICE NEWSLETTER
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Hi

We have just started a new great weekly prize draw where you can win a FREE
Better Behaviour Wheel, to find out more click on:

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PRACTICAL PARENTING ADVICE NEWSLETTER
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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
SURVIVING PARENTHOOD
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<><>---<>SUPPORT OUR SPONSOR<>---<><>

Why Spank When You Can Spin?
Disciplining kids is never much fun.  Now there's a new tool that has been
generating  excitement from families, therapists, and educators everywhere.
With the Better Behaviour Wheel, homework gets done, clothes get picked up,
arguing stops. Consequences are administered without anger and without
violence.  It's upbeat, fun, and it works.  If you have kids, you NEED the
Wheel!
http://tinyurl.com/44uet

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CONTENTS

1.  Editorial - The Better Behaviour Wheel

2. Feature Article - From Lad to Dad: How to Survive as a Pregnant Father -
Extract: Long Hot Summer by Stephen Giles (2005)

3.  Poem - The Letter by Shaunagh Cole (2004)

4.  Huggies Big Scream - Curtains up for Parent & Baby Cinema

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


1.  EDITORIAL

The Better Behaviour Wheel
http://tinyurl.com/44uet

Hi, another year starts and would you believe this is the 7th year of the
Newsletter!

Our official sponsor for this edition is the Better Behaviour Wheel web
site, which is highly recommended for a visit - using solid principles helps
parents teach their children good behaviour and to set reasonable limits by
spinning the wheel and having fun.  Watch this space as we will running a
competition so you  can be a winner of a virtual wheel you can run on your
computer.

If you have any parenting and child behaviour contribution for the
newsletter please send them to me at: andygill@...  Get
published around the world to over 3,700 people.

See ya

Dr Andy Gill
Editor

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


2.  FEATURE ARTICLE

From Lad to Dad: How to Survive as a Pregnant Father - Extract: Long Hot
Summer

By Stephen Giles (2005)

20% DISCOUNT on new book by clicking on:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0954391470/practicparentiin


I am so glad that Lindsay is back from her course. Not just because it means
I can stop feeling pressured to do something meaningless and wild in her
absence, but because I worry about her every movement. I spend so much time
imagining possible problems and traumas that it becomes a great relief to
see her fit and well at the end of each day.

And she is well. Not only that, she is blooming. She's decided that she'll
take some holiday then start maternity leave early, essentially giving up
work at 30 weeks. It's a relief for me, but a bigger one for her - her
loyalties have been split between wanting to do a good job and wanting to
get on with the whole baby thing.

She gets a pile of e-mails every day from eager baby product manufacturers,
trying to impart knowledge and shift a few nappies into the bargain. Each of
these has general tips for well-being and a few pointers on what to look out
for. My favourite one arrived this morning. It said something along the
lines of 'don't be disturbed if your partner starts to behave differently.
He may take up a hobby, like woodwork, or grow a moustache'. Come on, you
people, how many men have actually responded to the news of impending
fatherhood by growing facial hair? And woodwork?

"Darling, I'm pregnant."

"That's wonderful darling. And look, I've made a pipe rack."

"You animal. Come here, I want to feel your stubble against my cheek."

I appreciate the general message that is coming across here - men tend to
act more grown-up in response to the approaching demands of fatherhood. Most
blokes I know feel they aren't ready for the new arrival, that they still
have plenty of growing up to do themselves. That's absolutely understandable
and totally human. But woodwork? Moustaches? God no, please don't let it be
true.

I should add at this stage that my incredulity bears no relation to the fact
that I was kicked out of woodwork at school and have always been cursed with
a thin beard. It's just grade A bullshit, pure and simple.

"And we call this a nappy..."
Dealing with stereotypes
It might be bullshit, but it is a symptom of a wider problem that you've
probably already started to encounter, and will certainly come up against as
the due date approaches. You are about to be stereotyped, bracketed,
patronised and condescended to on a scale not seen since you had that maths
teacher with B.O. in the third year. It'll come from everywhere - from
parents who've done it all, from medical professionals, from books and from
TV.
You are a buffoon, a gibbering idiot who forgets to pack the bag, gets lost
in the hospital, puts on nappies back to front, passes out in the delivery
suite etc, etc. Think of every cliché and comic image of fathers-to-be, and
you'll be labelled with almost all in the next couple of months. Is this a
bad thing? It depends on your reaction. If it angers you, then it's bad. If
you start to believe it, that's a tragedy. But low expectations could give
you the space you need to get confident about your role before and after the
birth. After all, if everyone's expecting you to fall flat on your face,
every little success will feel great.

For the last few weeks Lindsay has been feeling serious movements from the
baby. They started about six weeks ago as a fluttering sensation and have
been building in intensity ever since. While it was still a novelty, she'd
shout to me to come and feel her belly. By the time I got there, the baby
was done stretching and had settled back to sleep, or it had shifted
sufficiently to start booting her lower spine instead.

Only recently have the kicks been so powerful and frequent that I've been
able to feel them too. It's such a weird feeling, and so hard to visualise
the little foot or elbow that's stretching Lindsay's skin and fighting for a
bit more room inside. In one sense it's great to be able to feel and see the
growth of the child, but in another way it also reinforces the fact that I'm
just an observer of this curious double act.

Lindsay's even started to detect a pattern of waking and sleeping at fixed
times. The baby's most awake at about 3am, but I'm hoping it'll grow out of
it. I'm a little jealous of the unmistakeable and unavoidable closeness
that's building up between my wife and child.

The other disadvantage of a regular pattern of kicks and punches is that I
fly into an immediate panic if Lindsay says the baby has gone quiet. I
really should have invested in that portable ultrasound monitor - I bet I
could have picked one up on E-Bay.

This happened just yesterday. Lindsay went off to work like normal, but
through breakfast, she'd been worried about the fact that she hadn't felt
the baby move for a few hours. I wanted her to stay at home, maybe go into
the hospital for a scan, but we looked at the books again and they seemed to
suggest it wasn't always something to worry about. After about 28 weeks, it
ought to be normal to detect around 10 distinct movements every day, but
until then the odd lengthy period without a flinch isn't a big worry.

Unfortunately, the downside of working from home is that you've got nothing
to distract you from worrying that there is a real problem. With mother and
child half an hour away at work, all I could do was sit and fret. Well, that
was my excuse for playing computer games all day.

Is there anybody there?
Getting help and guidance
Assuming that you want to avoid being talked down to by smug new fathers -
who a few short months ago were crapping themselves in your shoes (as it
were) - your options for expressing and discussing your fears are limited.
While it's good to talk to your partner, you might want to verify the facts
a bit before you involve and worry her about something that turns out to be
totally irrelevant. Your fears might also be about her, of course. Childless
mates won't be a lot of use, so the only real hope lies in other
fathers-to-be.
The question is, how do you get access to them? Some may attend antenatal
classes (more of which later) but these are often taken late on in the
pregnancy. There are a few message boards online for dads only, but a glance
through some of the more popular boards suggests that they are frequently
invaded by mums-to-be, so they aren't generally too open and frank.
The truth - and the reason for this book's existence - is that true empathy
is hard to find. I was lucky enough to have a couple of mates going through
the process around the same time as me, but even then I didn't share
experiences with them as often as I could, and should, have done. The fact
is that you will get through by relying on a variety of different sources -
an informative web site, a good book, a decent friend, an understanding
partner. They can all help, but not one of them can give you all the
answers.

Of course, Lindsay came home and reported that she'd gone 12 rounds with the
little thug during a vital business meeting and I breathed a sigh of relief.
I really, really should get out more.


In Association with Amazon.co.uk you can get a 20% DISCOUNT on new book by
clicking on:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0954391470/practicparentiin

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


3. POEM

The Letter

By Shaunagh Cole (2004)


A letter came from school today,
You know the one I mean,
"We've head lice in our school again,
Please check your child's head's clean."

The chemist sold us vile shampoo,
It smelled like neat Domestos,
"It's guaranteed to work!" he said,
"And never mind the hair loss!"

I parted the hair with caution,
To take a look within,
Did that move? Oh God, I hope not,
No, I think it's just dry skin!

The plastic combs are nifty
For checking pristine locks,
They also come in handy
For de-fuzzing winter socks.

"But, Mum, my head's all itchy,"
The plaintive cry is heard,
"No, it can't be, all those creatures
>From your scalp I'm sure I'd lured."

Stop scratching, you're imagining
Things crawling down your neck.
Now I'm itching and your father
Has become a nervous wreck.

Sit still and let me take a look,
The comb slips through with ease,
We haven't had such problems
Since next door's dog had fleas.

I know you don't like plaits,
But it's on the list of "do's,"
And with ribbons and a slide or two,
You've nothing much to lose.

I hope the school appreciates
The trouble that I've taken,
To guarantee those nits and lice
My child's head have forsaken.

I've combed and searched, the job's complete,
We've all been disinfected,
And now my child can rest at ease
Next time her head's inspected!


Thanks Shaunagh for this excellent offering; Shaunagh is a subscriber to the
newsletter and parent.

<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>


4.  HUGGIES BIG SCREAM

Curtains up for Parent & Baby Cinema


According to the latest research from huggiesclub.com a staggering 73% of
mums and dads have never taken their baby to the cinema. When asked, 1 in 3
parents said they worried about the physical barriers of taking a pushchair
into the cinema and an amazing 51% said it was because they felt
uncomfortable disturbing others.

Huggies know that mums and dads love nothing better than to relax in front
of the latest movie release, but with the arrival of a little one - a trip
to the cinema can take some major planning.

Well, not anymore! Mums and dads across the country no longer have to miss
out on the latest release or fear that they are causing a 'disturbance' -
cos everyone else will be doing it too.

Huggies are delighted to be the proud sponsor of The Big Scream! - a weekly
day for parents with babies under the age of 1* to attend the cinema with
baby!

Rafael Guijarro - brand manager for Huggies comments "I think this is a
wonderful concept. It really fits with Huggies mission of making life
happier for mums and babies. Discovering new things. Excitement. And most of
all - fun".

Huggies Big Scream is held in association with Picturehouse cinemas. The 15
cinemas have been selected specifically throughout the UK for their
location, changing facilities for their little VIP's, an allocated area to
leave pushchairs, and super smiley child-friendly staff.


For more information or to find out where your nearest participating Huggies
Big Scream cinema is, log on to www.huggiesclub.com


<><>-----------------------<><>-------------------------<><>
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Name: Dr Andy Gill
E-mail: AndyGill@...
Practical Parenting Advice Web Site:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk
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Hi All,

Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank everyone for
their support in 2004.

Look forward to 2005 and providing practical parenting advice.

Lets also hope it's a peaceful year.

Our thoughts are with the children and families struck by the awful events
in Asia over Christmas, it shows what a precious thing life is!

All the best

Dr Andy Gill
Webmaster


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