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PRACTICAL PARENTING ADVICE NEWSLETTER
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SURVIVING PARENTHOOD
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CONTENTS

1. Editorial - We Need Your Articles and Ideas!

2. Feature Article - The Fine Art of a Tantrum by Michelle Kennedy (2001)

3. Free Service - Mother Blogs.Net Launched

4. The Gary Direnfeld Column - Family Support and More!

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1. EDITORIAL - WE NEED YOUR ARTICLES AND IDEAS!

Hi, please enjoy this edition, sorry it's bit shorter than normal but the
Easter holidays loom!.

Don't forget to keep your contributions coming in for the newsletter
, also let me have your ideas on what you would like to see in future
editions of the Newsletter. Email me at:

AndyGill@...

Dr Andy Gill
Editor

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2. FEATURE ARTICLE - THE FINE ART OF A TANTRUM

By Michelle Kennedy (2001)


It's a beautiful day in the neighbourhood, and one of my cherubic children
and I are lollygagging through the market. I am at my most patient,
painstakingly pointing out interesting things, explaining the difference
between a pineapple and a regular apple ... generally at my parenting best.

Then, like a storm that appears out of nowhere, it hits. Lightly at first.

That first question, "Can I have that?" is the beginning of the storm ...
the wind picking up. "And that?" is the rustling in the trees. But I haven't
brought my umbrella, because this is a perfect day, a perfect parenting
moment. I refuse to let anything ruin it. So, cheerfully, and in my most
sing-songy voice I reply "No," but it no longer matters. My cheeriness won't
help. A no is a no, and now I'm in for it. The storm rears its ugly head.

"Waaahhhh!!$#@$^&..." and on it goes. This screaming and crying may be
accompanied by any amount of kicking, biting, throwing, banging fists or
laying on the floor.

My children, over the years, have laid out a veritable smorgasboard of
tantrums, from the traditional to the unusual. Just the other day, in a fit
over being sent to play in his room (he wasn't even being punished) my
3-year-old "headbutted" his bedroom window. Thank the parenting goddess that
he didn't smash it and send us to the emergency room, but due to the
incredibly large crack, I am out the cost of a new window.

No other behaviour can be as infuriating, embarrassing and downright comical
as the temper tantrum.

Because the tantrum is really it, isn't it? It's the true test. In fact, and
I know we hate to admit it, but it's almost fun to watch other parents deal
with one, especially when your own child is actually being good. Even more,
sometimes I laugh at my own kids while they are having one. I can't help it.

Now that I am long past the sheer embarrassment stage, those frustrated,
red, little faces just tear me up. Mostly because they are not crying out of
pain, fear or neglect, but just because they didn't get a new sticker or one
of those weird bean bag toys you can only find on the low shelves of
supermarkets that makes a strange sound or says something like "Bite me!"
when you slam it on the floor.

Tantrums come in many shapes and forms. Some of my favourites range from
high-pitched, elongated scream to limp noodle. For example: my current
toddler is the king of the high-pitched scream. He will begin with your
standard cry, that escalates into a mildly embarrassing whine.

However, if he is both tired and angry (and far from any windows), this
little whine builds into a crescendo of screaming interlaced with the
current request: "IIIII waaaaaaant (sniff, sniff) soooome (cough, hack)
caaaaaandyyyyy!!! (insert scream that sounds like fingernails on a
chalkboard here)" If it wasn't so annoying, it could be quite interesting to
deconstruct by computer.

The limp noodle was my daughter. While easier on the ears, her brand of
tantrum would find us walking joyfully along through a store, when she would
see the next thing that she wanted. Then, when word came down from on high
that she could not have it, she merely lay down and was as limp as possible.

No amount of cajoling, threatening or begging could raise her from this
posture. Such episodes usually ended up with me dragging the crying child
along, keeping an eye out for anyone from social services.

My daughter no longer uses this type of tantrum to illustrate her
displeasure, but has come up with a variation only a 7-year-old could think
up ... the large sigh, coupled at the same time with limping shoulders. This
is no mere shrug. Her shoulders practically hit the ground. The cry has been
replaced with the customary, "Do I have to?"

With the first couple of kids, an angrily whispered threat of "no dessert
forever" was usually enough to temper these tantrums, but with numbers three
and four, well, frankly, they couldn't care less about what I think and they
generally continue on until they either pass out from exhaustion or get a
lollipop, whichever comes first.

It's funny, though, the things we tell people in stores, who look upon us
with absolute disdain as we drag our screaming children through a store.
"He's not feeling well today," or "She missed her nap," are the frequently
uttered phrases of positively paranoid parents.

People "tut-tut" and shake their heads, as I drag my bundle of joy past the
impulse purchase "candy-only" aisle ... he of course is reaching for
everything, and consequently knocking it all off the shelves, as he flies
past.

With cheeks flaming embarrassment red and with a grimace that doubles for my
fakest of grins, I say in my sweetest, most Mr. Rogers-esque voice, "Come
on, Honey," and I hoist the little angel under my arm and carry him, still
kicking and screaming, out the door and back to the car.


Copyright © 2001 by Michelle Kennedy
All Rights Reserved

If you want advice and support in dealing with temper tantrums and other
child behaviours please visit the discussion board at:

http://pub5.bravenet.com/forum/show.php?usernum=344606440&mode=&cp=

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3. FREE SERVICE - MOTHER BLOGS .NET LAUNCHED

Greetings,

I would like to let you know the MotherBlogs.net was launched the 14th
of March 2006.

http://www.motherblogs.net/

MotherBlogs.net is a FREE BLOG SERVICE for all women who want to write
about motherhood in all it's wonderful and colourful facets.

- Women can write about their thoughts on motherhood in general or
choose to write about the subject from a whole new perspective.
- Mothers can share their experiences, both the good ones and the
tough ones with the rest of the world.
- Mothers and pregnant woman can use the blog as a journal or diary.
- Women who have difficulties becoming pregnant may have a very tough
time and can use the MotherBlogs.net to express their thoughts and
maybe even find women in the same situation

All in all, MotherBlogs.net offers FREE blogs on a professional blog
system to women who have something to say regarding motherhood.

If you feel this is of interest to your website visitors, you are free
to publish it in your newsletter or even link to us on your own
website.

Read more about linking to MotherBlogs.net:
http://www.motherblogs.net/How_To_Link.php

If you need a particular format, please write to us.

Best regards
Jens Christensen
http://www.motherblogs.net

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4. THE GARY DIRENFELD COLUMN - FAMILY SUPPORT AND MORE

------------------------------------------------------------

Where do you start when managing behaviour in children with complex needs?
Read:

When a Child With Special Needs and Complex Disabilities Surfaces with
Behaviour Problems
http://www.yoursocialworker.com/p-articles/complex-needs.htm

------------------------------------------------------------

Are you a parent or a friend? It makes a world of difference in managing
behaviour. Read:

Need help parenting a teen?
http://www.yoursocialworker.com/p-articles/parent-vs-friend.htm

------------------------------------------------------------

A local teen was raped at a house party. Porn and alcohol figured into the
situation.
See a panel discussion on the matter:

http://www.yoursocialworker.com/videos/rape.wmv

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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Name: Dr Andy Gill
E-mail: AndyGill@...
Practical Parenting Advice Web Site:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk
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