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PRACTICAL PARENTING ADVICE NEWSLETTER
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SURVIVING PARENTHOOD
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CONTENTS

1. Editorial - BBC Parenting Special

2. Feature Article - BBC Parenting Tips on Tap

3. Article - Little Angels: Tanya's Top Tips

4. Conference - Attachment

5. TV Programme: Needs Play Experts

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1. EDITORIAL - BBC PARENTING SPECIAL

Hi all, our friends at BBC Parenting have launched a new fantastic
video on demand service where you can watch clips of your favourite
parenting programmes. Read the articles and check out the web link.

This amazingly is the start of our 8th year in producing the
newsletter so please enjoy and I hope the New Year is going well!

Don't forget to keep your contributions coming in for the newsletter
by e-mailing me at:

AndyGill@...

Dr Andy Gill
Editor

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Enter your favourite parenting tip to win the weekly Parenting Tips
Contest at <http://www.ParentingTipsOnline.com>. Prizes iclude "101+ Letters
From" and the "Tooth Fairy Super Package" - both designed to help keep the magic
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2. FEATURE ARTICLE - BBC PARENTING TIPS ON TAP


We all know pregnancy and bringing up children can be a
rollercoaster ride. It's always comforting to see how others have
coped with similar problems and to pick up tips from the experts.

And now, for the first time, the BBC has taken all the best clips
and tips from three popular parenting programmes and made them
available online for free. You can search by topic, your child's
age or programme to find the specific information you need, exactly
when you need it, day or night.

BBC Parenting Video On Demand is introduced by mum-of-three Melinda
Messenger, who helps guide Mums and Dads to the most relevant clips.
The simple search menus also make it easy to find the information
you're looking for, this includes searches in areas such as
conception to birth, sleep and bedtime, and dealing with bad
behaviour.

All of the clips are taken from successful BBC shows Child of Our
Time, fronted by Professor Robert Winston, Little Angels and The
Human Body and are full of practical tips for tackling the highs and
lows of family life.

You can watch the clips there and then or, if you prefer, you can
save clips that interest you in your own folder for quick access at
a later date. You can also forward clips to a friend.

So if you want child development advice from Prof Winston, tantrum-
taming tips from Dr Tanya Byron and the Little Angels team, or
simply want to what's going on inside your body during pregnancy,
BBC Parenting Video On Demand has something for you and is not to be
missed.


BBC Parenting Video On Demand is available FREE on the BBC website
(for a trial period only) anytime between now and the end of June
06. Check it out now <http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/video/>

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3. ARTICLE - LITTLE ANGELS: TANYA'S TOP TIPS


If you want to turn your child into a Little Angel look no further...

Be positive
One of the biggest mistakes we make as parents, because we're so
busy, is to leave our children alone when they're behaving nicely
and say nothing to them. When their behaviour gets out of control,
we come in with guns blazing and they get tons of our time and tons
of our attention. If we do that often enough, what children learn is
that the way to get more of mummy or more of daddy is to start
beating each other up, because there is no pay-off or reward for
sitting and playing nicely.

Ignore the behaviour you don't want. Instead emphasise the positive
with cuddles, kisses, praise and tell them all the things they need
to hear in order for them to understand they will get attention for
doing things nicely. Conversely, more chat and attention when your
little one is behaving badly will make things worse.

Distraction
First you need to understand the signs that the behaviour is
escalating out of control. Next, be aware of possible triggers to
potential meltdown. Then, as soon as you feel the temper rising,
distract them onto something else: a funny song, story, or "did you
see that green squirrel with orange stripes just fly past the
window?" You may sound a bit odd but if it takes the child's
attention away from destructive behaviour who cares?!

Ignoring
If distraction is not effective and tantrums begin, try and see if
you can ignore the behaviour. Ignoring gives the message that the
behaviour gets no reward and if you use this technique alongside
praising every lovely behaviour your children will get a very
powerful message. Ignoring can be very difficult if you are out in
public but for all those tutting bystanders as you struggle with
your child having a tantrum in the supermarket, remember they've
probably been there themselves - or they're fibbing!

Time Out
For extreme bad behaviour, as a last resort you can use a technique
called Time Out, where you put your child in a room and ignore them.

First ask your child to stop misbehaving. If that doesn't work ask
again, but more firmly. This gives the child two chances to change
his or her behaviour, and if they do, you praise them.

If they refuse to stop the behaviour, or if the tantrum escalates,
you go for Time Out.
Take your child firmly but with no attention to a safe place where
you can leave them for a one minute for each year of their life (ie
three minutes for a three-year-old) up to a maximum of five minutes.
You could try putting them on a stair or a chair, but if your child
won't sit still where you've put them you may need to put them in a
room and shut the door. This is an extreme form of ignoring. You
should not talk to your child through the door or give them any
other form of attention during the Time Out period. This technique
will allow everyone to calm down and prevent smacking occurring. It
also very powerfully tells your child that their behaviour is
completely unacceptable. Once the Time Out period is over explain to
your child why they were Timed Out and then move on and praise them
at the first opportunity. Do not overuse this technique and try to
ignore as much as you can.

Tantrums
Try to prevent tantrums with praise. Imagine you've got a bucketful
of praise in every room of the house with a big ladle. Every time
your child does something wonderful, get that ladle and use it to
shower praise. "That is lovely, thank you darling..." or "Oh look,
you're playing so nicely." Just tell them all the things they need
to hear to get it into their head that they get attention for being
lovely.

Tantrums happen to all parents. They do not mean you are a bad
parent. You can try to prevent them with praise and sticker charts.
If that fails you can try to distract the tantrums away. But once
started, the best way to stop them is to ignore them.

Remember: distract, ignore but do not punish.

Rewards
A good way of motivating children and avoiding tantrums is with
stickers. At home, a sticker chart is a great way of encouraging
good behaviour. Each time your child is good, give them a sticker.
Naughty behaviour gets a 'sad face'. Points mean prizes - enough
stickers get them a treat. Mini sticker charts can also work when
you're out.

Positive example
It's straightforward but it works - your children will copy you.
Swear and they will swear, smack and they will smack. Lead by
example.

Night-time routine
Sleep is essential for healthy child development so establish a
regular bedtime routine. Routine means bath, pyjamas, a quiet story
on the sofa; the bedroom should be a no drink zone, telly off,
lights out. A consistent bedtime routine will greatly benefit your
children: they get the security of knowing what comes next - that
bedtime is for being tucked in and sleeping. If they continue to get
out of bed, gently help them back with no fuss, chat or attention -
however many times it takes - until the message is clear. They get a
gold star and a treat in the morning if they sleep through.

Going out needn't be a nightmare
Try engaging your children in what's going on and motivate them to
behave well. If they demand toys or start whingeing, distract them
and, if necessary, ignore them. If you can overcome the red face,
ignoring is a very powerful tool but you need nerves of steel! Stay
calm, feel in control and you'll have a nice day.

Structure and stimulation
Children need stimulation and parents are the number one playmate -
try to spend some playtime with your children every day. Too much TV
can lead children to become passive recipients, hampering social,
emotional and educational development. Children want parental
attention - by decreasing the amount of TV they watch children
become more aware of the world around them and concentration should
improve. Try less TV in the daytime, more walks and trips to the
playground. Play games, sing songs, read stories - but above all
enjoy your children!
For more clips and tips visit <www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/video/>


SPECIAL OFFER TO OUR READERS 40% DISCOUNT ON TANYA BYRON'S NEW BOOK:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0563520361/practicparentiin

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4. CONFERENCE - ATTACHMENT

Dear Dr Andy Gill

My name is Kate Byrne, I am a psychologist and am involved with
Attachment Parenting International.

We in Ireland are hosting a Parenting Conference featuring speakers
like Sir Richard Bowlby, Dr William Sears and Dr Stephen Bavolek
(http://www.conferenceapi.freewebspace.com) and I wondered if this could be
posted somewhere on your web site?

Warm regards
Kate Byrne

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5. TV PROGRAMME - NEEDS PLAY EXPERTS

Dear Andy,

I hope you don't mind me contacting you out of the blue but I came
across your details on the internet.

RDF Media Group Plc is an AIM listed company comprising RDF Media,
Touchpaper TV and IWC Media. It is one of Britain's leading
independent television production companies with an outstanding
reputation for producing and distributing high quality, popular and
innovative programmes. In recent years, RDF has won the Rose D'Or of
Montreux and Golden Rose of Lucern (Europe's top entertainment
award), an International Emmy, as well as numerous BAFTA, Royal
Television Society, Indie, Grierson and Broadcast awards.

We are currently developing a TV series that aims to encourage
parents to play more with their own children.

We are very keen to meet experts in this field who might be
interested in contributing on-screen to our programme, in particular
male experts. We are very interested in developing busy fathers'
play skills.

I would really appreciate any advice you might be able to give me or
any contacts for male experts on play you think might be useful.

Thank you for your time and I hope to hear from you shortly.

Yours sincerely,

Claire Davies

020 7013 4551

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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Name: Dr Andy Gill
E-mail: AndyGill@...
Practical Parenting Advice Web Site:
http://www.practicalparent.org.uk
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