... The pivot doesn't work (at least in translation). Remember that the two ... is fine, but ... doesn't make sense. You could try making "her leaves" the...
Christopher Baskind
emailkit@...
Feb 1, 2001 8:00 pm
199
A change in policy, of which you should be aware: I am opening our archives to non-members. Up to this point, you've had to be a member to access the archived...
Christopher Baskind
emailkit@...
Feb 2, 2001 4:22 am
200
To make off-list communication easier, and in order for each of us to get better acquainted, I am opening member profiles to other list members. This means...
Christopher Baskind
emailkit@...
Feb 2, 2001 4:31 am
201
As most of you know, Mountain-Home is forum for seasonal waka (tanka). This means, among other things, that we write "in season." But the season doesn't always...
Christopher Baskind
emailkit@...
Feb 2, 2001 8:00 am
202
Drops falling, Shaking withered goldenrod-- The melting snow Glistens in the sunlight And forms small puddles. Donna I just uploaded the picture relating to...
dfer268@...
Feb 2, 2001 8:54 pm
203
Bitter cold; Picking up a tattered leaf, A snowy whirlwind Moves across a withered field-- Vanishes leaving its remains. Donna...
dfer268@...
Feb 2, 2001 9:01 pm
204
... Good. Clean and refreshing. kit -- The world is ruled by letting things take their course. -- Lao-Tzu...
Christopher Baskind
emailkit@...
Feb 2, 2001 9:16 pm
205
... Novel image, but that final couplet seems a bit ungainly. It's unclear, too: are the remains that of the field or the whirlwind? kit -- The world is ruled...
Christopher Baskind
emailkit@...
Feb 2, 2001 9:21 pm
206
A winter morning; Snow caught in a wrinkle-- The shriveled crabapple Waiting for the warmth Of the wan sun. Donna I'm not sure about the pivot but though I'd...
dfer268@...
Feb 4, 2001 4:52 pm
207
I've been puzzling over a very odd dream that found its way to me a couple weeks back. Something I read today puts it into better perspective. I dreamed I was...
Christopher Baskind
emailkit@...
Feb 4, 2001 6:02 pm
208
... The pivot is fine, but you had to force the English to do it. "OF the shriveled crabapple" would work better, but then the pivot wouldn't. Hmm. Perhaps you...
Christopher Baskind
emailkit@...
Feb 4, 2001 7:21 pm
210
Wind and ice rumble silent trees, shingles follow. Pale pages whisper their long age as turned. (Yahoo and I are fussing though I get other yahoogroups.)...
gdbrem@...
Feb 5, 2001 4:09 pm
211
... Well, it would seem you and Yahoo are on speaking terms, at least here. Welcome to Mountain-Home. :-) This verse is a bit cryptic for the sort of waka we...
Christopher Baskind
emailkit@...
Feb 5, 2001 4:35 pm
212
... There are some good winter images in this waka. Here is one way this could be reworked to refine its form, and make it a bit clearer to the reader: Shaking...
Christopher Baskind
emailkit@...
Feb 5, 2001 5:00 pm
213
I respect everyone's right to online privacy. It would be best, however, if those of you who do not use a full name in your email field would sign your posts...
Christopher Baskind
emailkit@...
Feb 5, 2001 5:13 pm
214
Hi All, I just joined the list yesterday. I am very, very new to tanka/waka. I really have a lot to learn. Donna and Kit, would you please go over my first...
annkrisch@...
Feb 5, 2001 7:06 pm
215
... Glad to see you try one! The first 3 lines are fine and the pivot is Ok. I have a problem with the last 2 lines. It is OK to use "I" in traditional waka as...
donna ferrell
dfer268@...
Feb 5, 2001 9:34 pm
216
Bowing to earth at day's end, the crimson sun -- hints of a season beneath my cold feet. Debi Bender...
dmine@...
Feb 6, 2001 4:39 am
217
Hi Debi, I like the sensation in this one--one sensation starts in the feet, the other in the eyes and ends in the heart. I would like to see either "new"...
donna ferrell
dfer268@...
Feb 6, 2001 11:53 am
218
Thankyou, Donna! Ann [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]...
annkrisch@...
Feb 6, 2001 3:34 pm
219
This isn't in response to any particular incident, just a general statement of List policy. Please do not cross-post work which appears on Mountain-Home. There...
Christopher Baskind
emailkit@...
Feb 6, 2001 6:18 pm
220
... Thanks Kit, ... Writing a waka is a bewildring experience. I'll think of another subject to write about. Khairi...
khairi
khaihar@...
Feb 6, 2001 6:35 pm
221
... Waka is very different that hokku, certainly! But you have a richness of style that will make good use of waka's poetry. I hope you stay with it. Kit -- ...
Christopher Baskind
emailkit@...
Feb 6, 2001 6:37 pm
222
The clove trees sprouting creamy buds this early February, honeybees moving lightly from cluster to cluster. Khairi...
khairi
khaihar@...
Feb 6, 2001 7:09 pm
223
Sorry Kit, I cross-posted " bowing" just yesterday on Mountain-Home and Tanka, something I do on rare occasion on any lists -- I haven't written anything new...
dmine@...
Feb 6, 2001 10:43 pm
224
From: donna ferrell <dfer268@y...> Date: Tue Feb 6, 2001 6:53am Subject: Re: [Mountain-Home] Bowing Hi Debi, I like the sensation in this one--one sensation...
dmine@...
Feb 7, 2001 12:11 am
225
Hi Khairi, I like this one. There's unity and no anthropomorphism. I do think that a semi-colon might work better than a comma in line 3. You need to show a ...
donna ferrell
dfer268@...
Feb 7, 2001 2:57 am
226
An afternoon warming; The late winter sunset spread Across the sky-- The honking of geese makes me Long for an open window. Donna...
dfer268@...
Feb 8, 2001 11:37 am
227
A winter thaw; Remaining from the day's shadows, A patch of snow Now glows softly In the full moon's light. Donna...
dfer268@...
Feb 8, 2001 11:40 am
228
Thanks Donna. I'm not knowledgable enough about tanka and its form (as I write based mostly on 'feeling' the terrain). I agree with the punctuation as you...
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