Hi Donna this is lovely, Though I must admit that the buzzing of the 'The density' bee irritated me a little as I gazed upon the spreading blossom. :-) George...
gsteelis@...
Sep 1, 2001 12:11 pm
1544
Hi again Donna please excuse my use of the word irritated. In hindsight I do not think that I would like to see it used in any posting addressed to me. Perhaps...
gsteelis@...
Sep 1, 2001 2:11 pm
1545
The young cardinal calls from a swaying branch; the cool wind, blowing through the leaves ruffles his long comb. George...
gsteelis@...
Sep 1, 2001 2:35 pm
1546
Mountain-Home is a school of modern waka. Classical waka is the native poetry of Japan. For a thousand years, waka was the heart song of the Japanese people....
Mountain-Home@yahoogr...
Sep 1, 2001 6:15 pm
1547
This message is a reminder regarding the Mountain-Home policy on cross-posting. It is automatically sent to our community once a month. Poetry which you post...
Mountain-Home@yahoogr...
Sep 1, 2001 6:15 pm
1548
I think this is a one might be a bit too abstract, Kirsty. kit...
Christopher Baskind
emailkit@...
Sep 2, 2001 12:33 am
1549
First cool breezes of early September nights: Memories of autumn returning to mind--even now a deep longing for winter. gassho, Richard...
Shin02143@...
Sep 2, 2001 2:32 am
1550
Squabbling crows circling over head-- a cooling breeze announcing first autumn, mourning summer's demise. gassho, Richard (lots of "ing"-ing :) )...
Shin02143@...
Sep 2, 2001 2:36 am
1551
Why is it those sparrows look so small?-- flitting at my feet they persist in their search for crumbs, finding only sand. gassho, Richard...
Shin02143@...
Sep 2, 2001 2:39 am
1552
In a message dated 8/31/01 6:04:26 AM, dfer268@... writes: << The longer I'm on this list, the more convinced I become that every tanka/waka poet should...
Shin02143@...
Sep 2, 2001 2:43 am
1553
In a message dated 8/31/01 5:14:09 PM, karkow@... writes: << Strong tides rising and falling; Earth breathes life into salt waters commanded by the...
Shin02143@...
Sep 2, 2001 2:44 am
1554
In a message dated 8/31/01 7:38:54 PM, gsteelis@... writes: << spindly weed beneath the cedars the sun loves you-- see, he sends you this moonbeam. I...
Shin02143@...
Sep 2, 2001 2:45 am
1555
In a message dated 8/31/01 9:26:25 PM, dfer268@... writes: << Blossoming fog blurs The whiteness of the full moon-- The density Cannot conceal the...
Shin02143@...
Sep 2, 2001 2:47 am
1556
Kit, I don't agree. The image is strong for me, the wording is deeply suggestive, just the qualities I look for in Japanese court waka. gassho, Richard In a...
Shin02143@...
Sep 2, 2001 2:49 am
1557
Reading the poems of Kyogoku Tamekane and Empress Eifuku-- I look up, to where the smoke tree stands half in sunlight, half in shade. George ps Is the...
gsteelis@...
Sep 2, 2001 1:11 pm
1558
In a message dated 9/2/01 6:11:45 AM, gsteelis@... writes: << Reading the poems of Kyogoku Tamekane and Empress Eifuku-- I look up, to where the smoke...
Shin02143@...
Sep 2, 2001 7:16 pm
1559
Thank you, George. for the comments. I don't know what to use besides "density" or "denseness" which is even more sounding like a bee "buzzing." I don't think ...
donna ferrell
dfer268@...
Sep 2, 2001 11:28 pm
1560
Thank you, Richard. Donna ... __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get email alerts & NEW webcam video instant messaging with...
donna ferrell
dfer268@...
Sep 2, 2001 11:29 pm
1561
Richard, Of the 3 that you wrote, I like this one the best. I agree about getting rid of a couple "ing's." You might just use "cool" instead of "cooling." You...
donna ferrell
dfer268@...
Sep 2, 2001 11:39 pm
1562
Hi Richard I have altered the punctuation as per your suggestions and abridged the line by removing 'Kyogoku'. The rest is absolutely necessary for the meaning...
gsteelis@...
Sep 3, 2001 1:34 am
1563
... Oooooh! Hadn't made that connection myself but.... thanks for the support. kirsty...
karkow@...
Sep 3, 2001 11:41 am
1564
... great ... I like the feel of this, too. Thick with atmosphere. 'Density' seems SO dense somehow, almost overweighing the rest of the poem, making me it...
karkow@...
Sep 3, 2001 11:44 am
1565
Thanks, Kit, for taking time to comment. I value your opinion. In this case, though, there maybe other faults, but I don't understand 'abstract'. Seems pretty...
karkow@...
Sep 3, 2001 11:49 am
1566
Whole and complete, the August moon; a wisp of cloud dims but does not obscure the light by which I travel. kirsty...
karkow@...
Sep 3, 2001 11:54 am
1567
Kirsty, From the looks of this, I'd say you are getting deeper into the traditional way of thinking and observation. The last line adds depth to this waka. You...
donna ferrell
dfer268@...
Sep 3, 2001 12:53 pm
1568
Kit asked me to post some examples from McCullough's translation of the Kokin Wakashu so here goes. Remember that for the most part these were written fairly...
dfer268@...
Sep 3, 2001 1:06 pm
1569
Hi kirsty this is wonderfully harmonious, and without a shred of abstract thought. Now follow that light back to the 'tides' :-) George...
gsteelis@...
Sep 3, 2001 1:07 pm
1570
... Home run, Kirsty. Very nice. This has the "feel" of waka. kit...
Christopher Baskind
emailkit@...
Sep 3, 2001 3:11 pm
1571
Stuck in dew, Thistledown on tall grass-- Waiting for a cool breeze To scatter my trapped thoughts Like floating dried seeds. Donna Sorry if the simile bothers...
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