MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) is an international organisation specifically supporting mothers with little children – and is well represented around  Australia and New Zealand. Click on our websites: http://www.mopsnz.bravehost.com  and www.mops.org.au.

 

MUM-e-Mail

- a newsletter to enthuse, educate, and entertain
mothers of pre-schoolers and their supporters

February 2006

 

Mothering Maxim – Independence

What is your big goal for your child?
… To be a contributing citizen to his or her local community? A person using their skills and pursuing their interests? Or a Godly person of integrity? A follower of Jesus and a friend of God? Consider the big picture for your children. Look beyond them being an under-five!

 

Mum Moment – Preparing Your Child for the World

 

Thrive on the changes and challenges as your child progresses into adulthood …

 

Teaching Practical Coping Skills

Our adolescents need practical coping skills. These survival skills enable them to function in the real world away from Mum and Dad. To nurture these attributes, we first identify the areas of growth desired and then create a plan to help the child master that skill, even if it means stepping back and allowing the child to fail. I had a difficult time with some of these seeds, because I used to think that a good mother takes care of her kids by washing their clothes and making hair or doctor's appointments for them. I now realise that a good parent knows when to pass such responsibilities on to her adolescents. The guideline is: Don't do for them (regularly) what they're capable of doing for themselves.

These are some areas we focused on:

Laundry and clothing care.
Have your children learn about sorting clothes, spot cleaning, selecting detergents, choosing the right water temperature, using bleaches and fabric softeners, and drying clothes so they don't shrink. Other basic clothes maintenance skills include knowing how to sew buttons and mend seams, how to iron, and what to send to the dry cleaner.

Finances.
Our teenagers got an allowance and their own bank account in high school so they could learn about budgeting, writing cheques, and balancing a chequebook. Together we drew up a realistic budget and set the allowance amount by deciding which necessities they would purchase. By the end of high school, our two older ones were responsible for all their clothing purchases, toiletries, and school supplies. They learned to economise, look for sales, and recognise the difference between want and need.

Car maintenance.
Car maintenance is a coping skill for life. It includes knowing how to change a tyre, when and where to add oil and water, and when to schedule regular checkups. Cars need an oil change every three months. Before any long trips, brakes, tyres, and lights should be checked. Adolescents also need information about license plate registration and insurance rates, and what to do in an accident. 

Basic nutrition and meal preparation.
Teenagers should be able to plan and prepare at least a couple of meals (from shopping list to the table) and know the basics of nutrition, such as the importance of fruit and fibre and plenty of liquids in a diet. They should know how to read recipes, which comes from watching and doing. When one of ours made brownies for the first time and the directions said "mix by hand", that's exactly what the child did - squishing a hand through the sticky batter in the bowl.

Organisational skills.
Organisational skills make life more manageable. Some children are born with a greater sense of organisation than others, but all can benefit from learning how to use such basic tools as desktop calendars, Day-Timers, and address books. Unfortunately, few schools teach study skills, which are an excellent source of such organisational skills. For instance, how to keep track of homework assignments and deadlines; how to break large assignments into bite-sized pieces; and how to identify priorities and use time effectively.

- adapted from Give Them Wings, by Carol Kuykendall, Focus on the Family / Tyndale

 

From A Mother’s Heart

I need to let go of my children – small step by small step - and help them grow up and become independent. Remind me that they will still love me even when they learn to walk, dress themselves, and drive a car!

 

Mum's Mail*

Write in and respond to a thought in this newsletter.

How are you coping with “a let-me-grow-up love” in your home?

Wishing you wisdom, strength, and dignity for your journey of motherhood.

 

Yours faithfully,

 

Johanna Whittaker

mumemail@...  - *letters*, feedback, questions, mother’s tips*, ideas welcome

on behalf of MOPS (NZ) Inc. www.MOPSNZ.bravehost.com
© 2006 by MOPS New Zealand Inc and MOPS International.