MUM-e-Mail

- a newsletter to enthuse, educate, and entertain
mothers of pre-schoolers and their supporters

August 2005

 

Mothering Maxim – Self Control

 

Self control involves making conscious choices.

 

Mum Moment

Self control involves making conscious choices, but we have dividers of our attention.

The ways of the world, our own desires and wants, and God are all seeking our attention. But if we don’t control our appetites - for food, sex, money or anything else - they begin to control us.

One area I am having to keep learning about and applying self control is in my eating. Whilst breast-feeding I could eat what I liked and still the weight fell of, but years later the pregnancy ‘packed on beef’ is still there. A combination of tiredness, aloneness, comfort seeking, stress relief, and lack of systematic and sustained exercise has ‘helped’ the extra kilos to hang around. So I write today as a fellow pilgrim not the one who knows it all.

We get into a cycle of behaviour or habits. It might look like this:

“I feel bad…”  >>

This feeling triggers a response, an act or even a ‘ritual’ as in something done over and over, like snacking or bingeing.  >>

We feel good for a while. If we’ve just eaten carbohydrates [unfortunately often fat-laden carbs], then the neurotransmitter, serotonin, kicks in in your brain and gives you that pleasant feeling.  >>

Then later we feel bad, hungry, tired, guilty, alone … again – and so the cycle repeats.

Using eating as an example is a tricky one because we all need to eat. But we need to continually and consciously make healthy choices. Start by having ONLY healthy foods in our fridges and pantries. Chips [high fat], chocolate [high sugar], and ice cream are only party/treat food for those special occasions.

Find a quiet place for a few minutes and ask yourself: How do I feel like I do just before … snacking, smoking, gossiping, …? Why do I feel ‘bad’? What is behind this feeling? You can ask God by his Holy Spirit to reveal where and when this feeling first began. Was it in your childhood? After giving birth? …

Is there a wrong way of thinking or a lie that has ‘got in’ to your thinking at that time? You can ask God to reveal that for you too. What is it?

Once you can see what is the thinking behind your feelings which causes these ‘addictive’ behaviours, then seek the Truth (because God’s truth will set you free).

So, (for example) instead of just grabbing that bar of chocolate because you want to comfort or congratulate yourself, remind yourself of the truth. I don’t need to eat this because I’m lonely. Instead I can ring a friend/read a positive book/remind myself that I am worth being healthy/ etc.

Exchange the lie for the truth. Write the truth on a piece of paper and hang in a place you will notice often.

 

From A Mother’s Heart

As said before, we all do need to eat. Ask a friend to be your encourager and supporter in gaining self control. This is helpful in bringing out your secret and in providing accountability. You are not expected to do this alone.

 

 

Mum's Mail*

Look out for details of MOPS NZ TIPS contest – posting soon. Here or on www.MOPSNZ.bravehost.com.

 

I wish you all the best in practising self control and gaining control over your appetites.
Teach this (by doing and speaking) to your children.

Yours faithfully,

 

Johanna Whittaker

mumemail@...  - *letters*, feedback, questions, mother’s tips*, ideas welcome

on behalf of MOPS (NZ) Inc. www.MOPSNZ.bravehost.com
© 2005 by MOPS New Zealand Inc and MOPS International.