Emotionally Calm Parenting  

MUM-e-Mail

To equip and encourage

mothers of preschoolers and their supporters

June 2009

Mother Maxim

""The first value is that people are more important than things.
The second is that people are more important than things.
And the third is that people are more important than things."

 

Mother Moment – Emotional Calm and Strength

Children are the most anger-inducing human beings to inhabit the planet! Unfortunately. Ask any parent. All parents too are human, make bad calls, and make mistakes, but are still the adult parents of our children. Have confidence in who you are.

You have God-given authority to love and care for your children as best as you can - to treat your spouse and children with respect, understanding, encouragement, kindness, and compassion. And to be treated in the same honouring manner. "God didn't create any of us to be walked on!"

Wise parents season their home with grace. When someone messes up, they experience forgiveness. Grace means, that no matter what, children will be loved–just the way they are.

Our busyness leads us to running on empty. So it's essential to make or take time for yourself – choosing to meditate, read, bath, go for an early morning walk, go to a MOPS morning, whatever gets you out of the family lane for a time - to regroup.

Let's choose to be calm and not allow those `hot buttons' to be pushed by our children with their own agendas. To be calm is important for both fathers and mothers. Losing it with the children won't win you respect nor gain you control, neither is it setting a good example.

We mustn't mistake calmness with leniency. Calm parents can still have high expectations and discipline their children. When disciplining your child, always be sure to calmly explain why his or her behaviour is wrong and provide affirmation and restoration afterward. Demonstrate a life of self-control.

~

CALM mums and dads are Consistent. They don't change like the weather; they are predictable and steady in their moods and behaviour. Their word can be counted on, and their children know what to expect from them. They also respond positively and calmly during crises or other stressful times. You can negotiate and still be consistent.

CALM dads and mums are guided by a strong Awareness of their children's developmental issues, agendas, desires and needs, and are alert to circumstances their children are facing. They know when a child is upset or has had a tough day. They have reasonable expectations of their children and they act on their awareness by giving each child individual time and attention.

CALM mothers and fathers are skilful Listeners and important sounding boards for their children's daily concerns. They listen without interrupting, and they give their children plenty of freedom to express themselves. They listen carefully, they don't lose it when a child says something off-the-wall, and they're patient with mistakes. Be sure to remove any distractions -TV, newspaper, computer, etc.- that might discourage the children from talking or hinder you from understanding.

CALM fathers and mothers are mature Models. Their personal lifestyle demonstrates behaviours they hope their children will emulate, including a willingness to be humble and seek forgiveness for any wrongdoing. Plan a healthy, positive response for the next time you are angry with your children. Parents also point out mature, praiseworthy conduct in others.

Parents can be CALM - Consistent Aware Listening Models – and so build great families.

Mother's Heart

May I be CALM. Consistent. Aware. Listening. Model. `Cos I want a great family.

--

MOPS Link

q       Online Course from MOPS University - http://mops.christiancourses.com/ - to keep Mummy Brain exercised!

q       http://www.kellybear.com/ParentTips.html - positive role model for 3-9yo
http://www.kellybear.com/ParentTips/ParentTip9.html - 8 L's of Parenting

q       www.enchantedlearning.com/categories/preschool.shtml/ - for kindy – preschoolers + older

 

Warm Regards, (three computers of mine have fritzed in as many weeks!!)
Johanna
MUM-e-Mail@...

MUM-e-Mail is a free twice a month newsletter from MOPS (NZ) Inc. © 2009

MOPS (NZ) Inc, P O Box 12-307, Hamilton, NZ. - info@... - www.mops.org.nz

Use these links to change your e-mail address or format – (Edit Membership)
or unsubscribe (send empty).