Adult in charge – Have fun!

MUM-e-Mail

To equip and encourage

mothers of preschoolers and their supporters

March 2009

Mother Tip

Children really love for you to set rules and boundaries for them.

¬     Communicate expectations clearly (use the fewest possible words. A rule is not a sermon on values.)

¬     Make rules specific and understandable: "No hitting!" "We don't talk back."

¬     Keep the volume of your voice way down.

¬     Be consistent in consequences.

 

Mother Moment – The Adult in Charge

 

It's OK for Mum and Dad to have slightly different household rules. Mum and Dad can have different ways of functioning, but life is sweeter when there's only one adult in charge at a time.

The adult (parent) in-charge is in charge of everything. Who is really "in-charge" in your family?

If the child wants something, he or she has to go to the adult in charge. The standard answer from everybody else will be, "Go ask the one in charge". The adult in charge makes all decisions according to personal rules. This can give the not-in-charge parent a mini-holiday. It is all right for each parent to have separate rules, as long as the rules aren't in major conflict.

A severe disagreement among the adults can always be resolved with a team meeting. Your children will adjust. Children on the whole are very flexible and smart and easily know how to adapt to different rules, as long as they know whose rules apply (i.e. they need to be enforced).

Nicole McKenzie from www.MomHasFun.com uses the example:

At one point in time we lived with our small children by a lake; my husband and I had a nanny. One of us took the children swimming every day. According to who took the children swimming, the kids had to respect different rules. With the nanny, the kids had to stay in the shallow end, since that was what she was comfortable doing with them. With me, they were able to go out a little more, up to a specific point. With my husband, they could go quite a bit further. When we all went to the lake together, the kids usually would ask if Dad could be in charge. As long as Dad had fun, he was in charge, and his rules applied. When he needed some time for himself, he handed the "in charge" back over. The wonderful part about this was that the kids had fun no matter whose rules applied, as long as they knew the rules.

Remember Parenting Rule #1: Mum (and Dad) Has Fun!

 

Mother's Heart

Help me and my children, Lord, to recognise correct authority. May the adults in my family know and be secure about who is in charge.

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Mum's e-Mail

- Thanks for doing MUM-e-Mail. It arrives at the right time with some encouragement. It was good to read last time on `Husbands'. Thank you. – MOPS Mum, Hamilton.

 

MOPS Links

Making Fun – kids in charge!

What is a MOPS Group? – discussions, creative activities, MOPPETS, + more

MOPS @ - be the first for New Zealand?

Wintering – on its way …

www.mops.org/teen for very young mums. New group in Mt Wellington, Ak : Riverside MOPS.

 

Make sure you are having some fun – good for the whole family!

Johanna W

MUM-e-Mail editor
mum-e-mail@...

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