This was in Peter's eMailbag today. I couldn't resist passing it along
to you.
....................... It's Hell to be Old
OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!
An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a spermcount as part
of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home andbring
back a semen sample tomorrow.'
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and
gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on theprevious day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc,it's
like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I
triedwith my left hand, but still nothing. 'Then I asked my wife for
help. She tried with her right hand, thenwith her left, still
nothing.She tried with her mouth, first with the teethin, then with her
teeth out, still nothing.

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too,
firstwith both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin'
itbetween her knees, but still nothing.'
The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?' The old man replied,
'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]