Indian Comics Irregular #154

The plot of "Pathfinder," the latest Native-themed movie from a major
studio, is simple enough: Vikings abandon boy (Karl Urban) in
America. Indians adopt boy. Years later, Vikings return to attack
Indians and boy.

As usual, let's see what the critics are saying.

The writing:

Amid the barbarism and bloodshed, dialogue is kept to a minimum.
The screenplay could not have been more than 10 pages long.
Perhaps that is a merciful decision, given the clichéd truisms that
pass for wisdom. (USA Today, 4/12/07)

The acting:

Mr. Urban's brand of acting involves intense stares and flinging
his wet hair off his face for the next protracted stare.
(Washington Times, 4/13/07)

The stereotypes:

The boy is raised by the People of the Dawn, Native American
Aquarians, they are--simple happy natives living in Hollywood
peace.

The script is stuffed with Ancient Hollywood Native-speak, that
stilted nonsense that puts the "noble" in Old School Hollywood
"noble savages."

"He must find how own way. His heart is full of vengeance."
(Orlando Sentinel, 4/12/07)

The Norsemen, indistinguishable from one another in their fearful
horned helmets and facial armor, are uniformly and viciously evil.
The Native Americans by contrast are all courageously righteous.
(Catholic News Service, April 2007)

The racist subtext:

The fact that Ghost is the best warrior in America is troubling, as
it makes one wonder what the poor Indians would have done without
the kindness and strength of this benevolent white man. (Catholic
News Service, April 2007)

The violence:

[T]he legendary--if not historical--aspects of the story are
overwhelmed by the unrelenting scenes of gory decapitations,
impalings and eviscerations that fuel this shallow salute to
murderous revenge. (Catholic News Service, April 2007)

The mistakes:

For one, what part of America's East Coast has 11,000-foot
mountains? For two, why is it snowbound winter in all the
odd-numbered shots and insect-buzzing summer in the even-numbered
ones? For three, since the Vikings don't steal any of the natives'
resources, did they cross the Atlantic just for recreational
rampaging? For four, why did director Marcus Nispel (of the 2003
"Texas Chainsaw Massacre") shoot this film entirely in washed-out
shades of blue? Is that cheaper? If it was to conjure up a
starkly terrifying sense of a barbaric time and place, it
fails. (Minneapolis Star Tribune, 4/12/07)

The resemblance to "300" and "Apocalypto":

The oft-delayed actioner "Pathfinder" is like the dumbed down
offspring of "300" and "Apocalypto."

And neither of those films fell anywhere near the genius category.
(Washington Times, 4/13/07)

The overall quality:

Too small to be a spectacle, too humorless to take seriously and
too stupid to pass muster at a middle school writing workshop,
"Pathfinder" appears to be the first film adapted from a Frank
Frazetta battle scene airbrushed on a Chevy van. (Minneapolis Star
Tribune, 4/12/07)

For more comments on "Pathfinder," go to
http://www.bluecorncomics.com/pathfind.htm .

Rob Schmidt
Blue Corn Comics