Changes in Life




it has finally come
where I can say it's done

because I did everything
completely by myself

hopefully it's over
and totally finished
so I can say goodbye
and farewell to it forever

but then again
life never stops
it continues on
changing now and then

I guess
really
that I must change too
now and then

yet nobody really changes
unless they want to



Debbie Budnick
my books: "The Writer Within" and "One Road, One Poet" can be found on
PublishAmerica.com
my triond poems/articles:  http://wbx.me/w/3srdbf
twitter:  www.twitter.com/DebbieBudnick
cash for books:   http://cash4books.net/index.php?ref=146377


________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
http://www.peoplepc.com

A Cold, Bitter World




before me
I see things
I thought I'd never see

I turn
trying not to see
pretending not to know it's there

as shivers spiral throughout me
making me want to turn around
to see what is there
it also makes me cover my eyes
and run away in other direction
so I can think I imagined what I saw

yet it's funny
how the mind plays tricks
even when it isn't Halloween

I uncover my eyes
only to notice nothing is there

I reach out
trying to touch
what I thought I saw
but nothing is there
only emptiness surrounds me

somehow I found aloneness
in a world scattered about
and I became cold, bitter too,
like the windchill in 40 below temps

so cold
that I turn around,
cover up, and hide in a blanket
knowing there is nothing there
to see, to touch

there is nothing there
for me to feel

and feelings no longer exist
in a cold, bitter world



Debbie Budnick
my books: "The Writer Within" and "One Road, One Poet" can be found on
PublishAmerica.com
my triond poems/articles:  http://wbx.me/w/3srdbf
twitter:  www.twitter.com/DebbieBudnick
cash for books:   http://cash4books.net/index.php?ref=146377


________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
http://www.peoplepc.com

TO TELL THE TRUTH

I would like to tell the truth
      the whole truth
      & nothing but the truth
but what if so help me
      the truth can`t be spoken only lived?
What if there's nothing words can tell us
      that isn't a lie because words aren't
      quite the things they say they are?

Simply declaring we each
      have our own mother tongue
      doesn't really exhaust all the guises
Thought has become so entwined
      with language I can`t remember
the last idea that didn't come written down
      Are we all cells in the same body
      or cells in the same prison?

Do you want me to turn everything
      up side down or inside out for you?
      Must I resort to insinuating metaphors
& blatant paraphrases to get myself across?
      Even the unspoken words silently
going through my pockets are suspect
      You're not reading a page of fire
      You're lighting a labyrinth of longing

Jeff Brooks has maintained a daily meditation practice for 34 years, has
completed 2 three-year retreats, and attended well over 50 meditation retreats. 
Through his rigorous meditation practice he has cultivated the 9 stages of
meditative absorption (samadhi) and the other fruit (phala) that the Buddha &
Patanjali described, such as meditative absorption (jhana, samadhi), insight
(vipassana), out-of-body travel (Manomaya), etc. so he speaks from personal
experience with the phenomena of meditative absorption.

If you are experiencing the phenomena of meditative absorption you may want to
discuss it with someone with decades of direct experience with this phenomena,
such as Mr. Brooks.  So schedule an Individual Contemplative and Charismatic
Counseling session simply email <info@...>

If you value the services of the Great Western Vehicle, then please consider
supporting it with a contribution today.
http://www.greatwesternvehicle.org/support.html

Love and blessings, Jhananda

THIS WIND STORM

This wind storm
      won't be satisfied
until it touches everything
      that's not buried
      in this town

To me the wind is howling
      but to the trees
it is more intimate
      "Moan if you like it
      Groan if you want more"

yeah steve. chit chitchit chit chitchitchit chit translates as "louder please!"

--- In Hollow_Reed@yahoogroups.com, "Steve Toth" <poetree1968@...> wrote:
>
> SQUIRRELLY
>
> When I was younger my idea
>      of how to spend
>      a sweltering summer afternoon
> was to sit cross-legged under a tree
>      with my back against the trunk
>      reading a poetry book
> in the shade catching
>      whatever breeze there was
>
> But the squirrels had other ideas
>      When one thought
>      I had hung around long enough
> it would start eating acorns
>      right above me
>      dropping the inedible parts
> on me & my book so I would
>      move to another tree
>
> There the same thing would happen
>      until I had used up all the trees
>      & it was time to go home
> Telling a friend about this recently
>      he said I had it all wrong
>      The squirrels weren't telling me to move
> just letting me know another being was present
>      & that I should read the poetry aloud
>

SQUIRRELLY

When I was younger my idea
      of how to spend
      a sweltering summer afternoon
was to sit cross-legged under a tree
      with my back against the trunk
      reading a poetry book
in the shade catching
      whatever breeze there was

But the squirrels had other ideas
      When one thought
      I had hung around long enough
it would start eating acorns
      right above me
      dropping the inedible parts
on me & my book so I would
      move to another tree

There the same thing would happen
      until I had used up all the trees
      & it was time to go home
Telling a friend about this recently
      he said I had it all wrong
      The squirrels weren't telling me to move
just letting me know another being was present
      & that I should read the poetry aloud

Notice




Do you ever notice
the simple things in life
when you lie, cheat, and steal

Do you ever notice
those people against the wall
sitting by themself
having nobody to talk to

Do you ever notice
the sun as it rises
or sets along the horizon

Do you ever notice the difference
between talking with someone
and talking at someone

Do you ever notice
anything besides yourself

Sometimes you have to notice
things outside of your own existence

But you never, ever notice
things other than yourself
do you

Just once in awhile
take the time to notice
and you'll see
there is life
outside your tiny box



Debbie Budnick
my books: "The Writer Within" and "One Road, One Poet" can be found on
PublishAmerica.com
my triond poems/articles:  http://wbx.me/w/3srdbf
twitter:  www.twitter.com/DebbieBudnick
cash for books:   http://cash4books.net/index.php?ref=146377


________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
http://www.peoplepc.com

SPOUTING WHALES

In the sea stack area off pebble beach
      where the ocean has worn
      away everything soft
so that only what is hard remains
      we see the spouts of two
      no three gray whales

Cylinders of cloud billowing mist
      shoot up like individual rain storms
      so we can follow their movements
Two of them are swimming
      side by side close in to shore
      like a mother & calf might

We can not see how water this shallow
      will keep creatures
      larger than a city bus
hidden for long & so we settle in
      watching hoping to see something
      spectacular in the making

Maybe we will witness some tail action
      when they go down to suck out
      a chunk of the bottom or muddy water
rushing from an emerging mouth filtering
      through fringed baleen plates
      for small shrimp-like animals

But the most they will show us this day
      besides their blow holes
      are a few choice glimpses
of their glistening backs rising up like
      something we will never want to forget
      then sinking back under again

Wicked Thunderstorms





rain pitter patters
against my window
as the thunder bellows
passed the gates
of my mind

my thoughts have been
interrupted
once again
often really I should say

things rumble inside
disturbing my thoughts
like pine needles in a storm
racing to get somewhere
but never knowing really
where anything will land

these thunderstorms
totally tatter my thoughts
to tiny pieces
unrecognizable to outsiders
who peer in
to see what's really there

so did you get a good look
as to who I am
or are you still confused
by the thunderstorms wickedness






Debbie Budnick
my books: "The Writer Within" and "One Road, One Poet" can be found on
PublishAmerica.com
my triond poems/articles:  http://wbx.me/w/3srdbf
twitter:  www.twitter.com/DebbieBudnick
cash for books:   http://cash4books.net/index.php?ref=146377


________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
http://www.peoplepc.com

Cyberspace Mouse




I sit here
at my computer desk
to watch
what I type out

On the monitor
I read what is there

I wait to see if it makes sense,
any sense at all,
but then the mouse erases it all

So what am I doing sitting here
looking at the monitor
when there's nothing there,
but emotions have gone astray
somewhere in internet space
later to be read
by eyes you've never met

I sit here
at my computer desk
to watch
what I type out
in response to somethings
which have truly motivated me




Debbie Budnick
my books: "The Writer Within" and "One Road, One Poet" can be found on
PublishAmerica.com
my triond poems/articles:  http://wbx.me/w/3srdbf
twitter:  www.twitter.com/DebbieBudnick
cash for books:   http://cash4books.net/index.php?ref=146377


________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
http://www.peoplepc.com

A Place Called Home




outside the wind is blowing
the local news said around 20 mph

it's only 35 degrees out there
so with the breezy wind it's mighty cold

but I went for a bike ride anyways
peddled only 4-1/2 miles
before I thought it was enough

I was frozen
like a popsicle
by the time I arrived home

an hour later
my ears are still red
my body is darn right cold

I sit here
in front of a heater
trying to warm up
and hoping, kind of praying too,
that my computer doesn't freeze up

but what can I do
when it's too cold out
to ride my bike other places
just to get out
to not feel stuck and deserted

I think
dream a little too
while I am here alone
because
there's no place like home
even when I want to be someplace else

home is where I can do anything I want to
and nobody would know the difference
or be any wiser as to who I really am,
as to the things circling my mind


Debbie Budnick
my books: "The Writer Within" and "One Road, One Poet" can be found on
PublishAmerica.com
my triond poems/articles:  http://wbx.me/w/3srdbf
twitter:  www.twitter.com/DebbieBudnick
cash for books:   http://cash4books.net/index.php?ref=146377


________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
http://www.peoplepc.com

NOTHING LESS

Writhe for me
      All the threads connect here
where desire meets expression
      I love to hike the trails
      you blaze in me

We weren't born to know life
      only through its symptoms
Nothing is where it is not
      Why pretend to have discovered
      what you've never experienced?

One person's panic
      is another person's excitement
Nothing less will do
      I'm most myself
      when I'm loving you

Jeff Brooks has maintained a daily meditation practice for 34 years, has
completed 2 three-year retreats, and attended well over 50 meditation retreats. 
Through his rigorous meditation practice he has cultivated the 9 stages of
meditative absorption (samadhi) and the other fruit (phala) that the Buddha &
Patanjali described, such as meditative absorption (jhana, samadhi), insight
(vipassana), out-of-body travel (Manomaya), etc. so he speaks from personal
experience with the phenomena of meditative absorption.

If you are experiencing the phenomena of meditative absorption you may want to
discuss it with someone with decades of direct experience with this phenomena,
such as Mr. Brooks.  So schedule an Individual Contemplative and Charismatic
Counseling session simply email <info@...>

If you value the services of the Great Western Vehicle, then please consider
supporting it with a contribution today.
http://www.greatwesternvehicle.org/support.html

Love and blessings, Jhananda

Forgot Why I Waited




I've been sitting here
with my feet bouncing off the floor,
my eyes looking at the monitor,
and my fingers resting on the keyboard,
but I still can't find it

I sit here
searching my brain
for any thoughts to appear,
for any sort of answer,
or any kind of sign
about where my muse has gone

my fingers type words out
on the google line
trying to find things
anything really

nature pictures come up
of places I want to go

news stories I find
about different weird things
and recent world happenings

but I soon realize
there was something I came here for
yet what was it
that my computer was calling me to do

oh well
I must be getting old
I've waited so long, I forgot what I was waiting for...



Debbie Budnick
my books: "The Writer Within" and "One Road, One Poet" can be found on
PublishAmerica.com
my triond poems/articles:  http://wbx.me/w/3srdbf
twitter:  www.twitter.com/DebbieBudnick
cash for books:   http://cash4books.net/index.php?ref=146377


________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
http://www.peoplepc.com

The Unnoticed Ones




if you think it's bad now
just wait awhile
you'll see things
you thought you'd never see
or even wanted to

if you think it's bad now
with your money flow
going more out than in
just wait awhile
you might find a penny
someone else forgot

then there's your feelings
many days are not that happy
or as happy as you wish
there's more days now
which hold a kind of sadness
that many people experience
but only the person feels

but wait awhile
before you turn the corner
cuz if you think it's bad now
there's children around the bend
who are hungry and cold
one has even died
from hunger
from coldness
from being unnoticed
by those who could have helped
yet they turned away
pretending not to notice
those they have seen
less fortunate than them


Debbie Budnick
my books: "The Writer Within" and "One Road, One Poet" can be found on
PublishAmerica.com
my triond poems/articles:  http://wbx.me/w/3srdbf
twitter:  www.twitter.com/DebbieBudnick
cash for books:   http://cash4books.net/index.php?ref=146377


________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
http://www.peoplepc.com

Individuality




release
the foamy mouth dremons
from your arrogant mind

and you'll see
that you can coexist
with your own mind

but to totally exist
could you inherit something
like your own thoughts
your own values and morals

or will you relapse
back to the demon ways
once you realize
being an individual is hard
yet it is also unique
and extremely rewarding
knowing you are yourself

exhibit to the world
your individuality
express your unwitting thoughts

but to become your own person
you must release those demons
who foam at the mouth
who continually demand things
who form your arrogant mind

it is time
to reward yourself
with being your own individual


Debbie Budnick
my books: "The Writer Within" and "One Road, One Poet" can be found on
PublishAmerica.com
my triond poems/articles:  http://wbx.me/w/3srdbf
twitter:  www.twitter.com/DebbieBudnick
cash for books:   http://cash4books.net/index.php?ref=146377


________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
http://www.peoplepc.com

NATURALLY 2

I may be a sucker
      for things too good to be true
but seeing a dragonfly in the garden
      makes me want to see a dragon
      fly in the garden

The fear of suffering is a tyrant
      that the pumpkin spiders have no time
to be ruled by & a petty tyrant at that
      Painted lady butterflies don't
      live & die in front of a mirror

Long is the night
       that doesn't find a sunrise
Wild flowers don't wait
       for somebody else to create
       sky rockets of rapture

Where I End Up



there is nothing
exciting right now
or even new in my life

recently there is nothing
that could be interesting,
maybe even entertaining,
possibly educational
in my life
since I truly go nowhere

since there is nothing
and I go nowhere
where is it then
that I will end up



Debbie Budnick
my books: "The Writer Within" and "One Road, One Poet" can be found on
PublishAmerica.com
my triond poems/articles:  http://wbx.me/w/3srdbf
twitter:  www.twitter.com/DebbieBudnick
cash for books:   http://cash4books.net/index.php?ref=146377


________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
http://www.peoplepc.com

The true joy of every soul is in the realization of the divine Spirit, and the
absence of realization keeps the soul in despair.

                         Bowl of Saki, by Hazrat Inayat Khan

Commentary by Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan:

The true joy of every soul is the realization of the divine Spirit. Absence of
realization keeps the soul in despair. In the life of every poet, thinker,
artist or scientist there come moments when ideas or words are given to him;
they are given at that moment and at no other. This is the moment when
unconsciously the soul has an opportunity to breathe. Man does not usually allow
his soul to breathe; the portal is closed up in the life of the earth. Man
closes it by ignorance, he is absorbed in things of much less importance. So
when the door opens and the soul is able to breathe even one breath, it becomes
alive in that one single moment, and what comes out is beauty and joy making man
express himself in song or dance. So heavenly beauty comes on earth.

The things that catch man's mind are always living things. The poems of Rumi
which are called Masnavi, have lived for eight hundred years, they are living,
they bring joy and ecstasy whenever they are sung or recited. They are
everliving life, expressing an everlasting beauty. It is the power of God, and
for man ever to presume it possible to produce that by study is a mistake. It is
impossible. It is the power of God above which brings out the perfection of
beauty. Man can never make the soul dance, but he can make himself a fit
instrument for the expression of his soul.

TO BE CONTINUED

Must everything on earth be manhandled?
      Can nothing worth knowing be taught?
Night so still has us swearing
      we can hear the sleep in
      a hummingbird's heartbeat
Morning comes with colors to burn
      a bugle blast of sensation
      that has all our senses embracing

Wild is freedom like a beautiful storm
      No language can say such things directly
There's a current running between the ocean
      the mountains & us
      that has yet to be settled
When winter comes the roses
      drop all their blossoms but still
      hold on to their thorns

Why this mad longing for the light
      to be continued in the spring?
How can a thought change the world
      without first changing
      the one who thought it?
Since every creature shows a will to survive
      is it surprising that nature itself
      should display the same instinct?

Brown Metal Chair




I sit here
on a hard metal brown chair
with classic AWA Wrestling
barely audible in the background
as it shows matches from 1988

I wonder
can the present
coexist with the past
even if it's only on TV

don't really need an answer
as I try to draw pictures
on this computer screen
with words which seem silly
when they dance around in my head
but still
these words
seem to be a peeper
making a sound
when they feel the need to

still sitting here
on this brown metal chair
trying to write
trying to make you believe
I know what I am talking about
but you give me that look
a look of total disbelief
that someone, anyone,
could put words together
like this, like I do
yet I continue writing these words

sometimes
when I write
it feels like a catch-22 situation
because I try to write,
I try to get my feelings out,
but nothing comes out
or even arrives to you
with any sort of dignity or understanding

so here I am
writing words
hopefully with understanding
or some sort of meaning
because writing,
whether it has meaning or not,
is a fetish I have
it's something I'll never give up





Debbie Budnick
my books: "The Writer Within" and "One Road, One Poet" can be found on
PublishAmerica.com
my triond poems/articles:  http://wbx.me/w/3srdbf
twitter:  www.twitter.com/DebbieBudnick
cash for books:   http://cash4books.net/index.php?ref=146377


________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
http://www.peoplepc.com

Attitude with Chilliness




earlier it was gray
and totally cloudy
as I looked
towards the once blue sky

now the air is crisp
with a chilly attitude,
like frost upon the morning ground

but I choose not to go outside
because a 37 degree breeze hit my naked face
and made me whine

so I lay on the couch
watching daytime soaps
and my eyes flutter
with sleepiness




Debbie Budnick
my books: "The Writer Within" and "One Road, One Poet" can be found on
PublishAmerica.com
my triond poems/articles:  http://wbx.me/w/3srdbf
twitter:  www.twitter.com/DebbieBudnick


________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
http://www.peoplepc.com

Giving to Take



if you want
to take something
then you need
to give something

but don't send away
anything you should keep

and, most of all, don't waste
my precious time

because my time
is sparse
and I can't afford
to just give it away

so if you want
to take something
from anyone
then you must be willing
to give something in return



Debbie Budnick
my books: "The Writer Within" and "One Road, One Poet" can be found on
PublishAmerica.com
my triond poems/articles:  http://wbx.me/w/3srdbf
twitter:  www.twitter.com/DebbieBudnick


________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
http://www.peoplepc.com

ALWAYS AT HAND

Water doesn't struggle
      to get where it's going
It follows the pull of gravity
      all the way down
      the mountains & torn eagle cries
all the way to the ocean
      As a poem is what's left
after the words are finished
      trust the earth to bear
      something greater than despair

In this interconnected world where
      nothing is ever going to waste
why do my eyes always seem
      to be tearing up
      whatever they look at?
If there's a hope
      for every fear
then why abandon any hope
      unless you've abandoned
      the fear completely?

I'm song for as long
      as I'm singing
Memory like human history
      goes no further
      than the present instant
The weather says to keep changing
      Silence alone hungers in the wild
Dance before the fire
      The moment of creation
      is always at hand

Working for a Living



I want to work
to earn a living

then I can spend the money
where people gather

they sell things
no longer wanted
and they buy things
they think are needed

but what can I gain from this
if my soul doesn't profit

nothing really
except a heart and body
that aches



Debbie Budnick
my books: "The Writer Within" and "One Road, One Poet" can be found on
PublishAmerica.com
my triond poems/articles:  http://wbx.me/w/3srdbf
twitter:  www.twitter.com/DebbieBudnick


________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
http://www.peoplepc.com

No matter what poetry group I send a post to this morning, it always seems to
post twice. It posts twice even though I only click send once. So I am sorry for
all the duplicates to the groups I belong to this morning.


Debbie Budnick
my books: "The Writer Within" and "One Road, One Poet" can be found on
PublishAmerica.com
my triond poems/articles:  http://wbx.me/w/3srdbf
twitter:  www.twitter.com/DebbieBudnick


________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
http://www.peoplepc.com

No matter what poetry group I send a post to this morning, it always seems to
post twice. It posts twice even though I only click send once. So I am sorry for
all the duplicates to the groups I belong to this morning.


Debbie Budnick
my books: "The Writer Within" and "One Road, One Poet" can be found on
PublishAmerica.com
my triond poems/articles:  http://wbx.me/w/3srdbf
twitter:  www.twitter.com/DebbieBudnick


________________________________________
PeoplePC Online
A better way to Internet
http://www.peoplepc.com