11/9/05
Gainesville Daily Statement
Biologists Fight Back

 

Michael Adler, staph writer

 

 In response to what they see as the religious right interfering in public school science curricula, some biologists have decided that the best defense is a good offense.  They have formed an association in Topeka Kansas to do just that.  Naming themselves the Assembly for Quality Religious Instruction, they are lobbying for a law to require all church Sunday schools to teach alternatives to the theory of immaculate conception.

 

  "There are holes and gaps in the theory of immaculate conception" said geneticist David Suzuki.  "We think churches should discuss the shortcomings with their Sunday school classes, and let the students know that alternative theories exist to explain how Mary became impregnated with Jesus."

 

 The group’s theory, called "intelligent insemination," requires the existence of a fertile man, but they do not go on to say who that man was.  The theory holds that the process of reproduction is so complex that it must have happened through normal biological processes, not supernatural ones.

 

 Asked if the proposed law is unconstitutional, Suzuki responded "Of course it is, but so is putting religious instruction into public schools.  Constitutionality concerns have never stopped our opponents, so it won’t stop us either."  He continued, "Our country was founded on secularism and the principle of open debate and a free exchange of ideas.  Clergy have been defrocked in retaliation for daring to suggest that Jesus may not have had a virgin birth.  We think that such suppression of ideas is damaging to the public discourse, and that the retaliation, on the part of Christian churches, against their own priests is reprehensible."

 

 Janet Bacon, a Kansas Sunday school student, said "We’re becoming the laughing stock of not only the nation, but the entire world," Adding "and I kind of like it."

 

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