This is my first quarterly update covering the time just
before I left New York City until now, July 5, 2003.

It is a dead-boring email, but it has only one purpose, not
to entertain, but to chronicle some past events and spend as
little time doing so as I can. It is poorly organized as
well. In future posts I expect to do a better job, but in
this one I'm playing a bit of catch-up.


So, I left New York City on Saturday April 5, 2003, and
began bicycling south to Washington, DC. It was cold and
rainy, and after a harrowing ride out of the city, I decided
to take commuter rail south along the coast.

Some earlier events: I went to a conference on building
car-free cities
http://carfreeuniverse.org/Members/colin/TCFCIIIConferenceReport
in Prague just before I left NYC (I worked at my job for two
weeks after returning).

The last book of interest I read in NYC before leaving was
_Cultural Creatives_.

The last friend I made was Sandrine.

I was practicing being homeless those two weeks as well,
sleeping by the river at Riverbank State Park most nights,
though one rainy night with my friend Patrick who was
visiting, and two other nights with Peter in Brooklyn.
Sandrine also offered a place to stay :) and Anthony! and
Blaine, I think.

I left NYC because preparing to go to the carfree cities
conference made me realize I wanted to leave NYC/ the US and
not return, because I had just had my eyes opened about how
the US really works
http://www.ratical.org/ratville/JFK/ST/ST.html and I was
sick of all the police with attitudes and national guard
stationed everywhere with machine guns in NYC. And there
were many reasons to suspect that the people in charge in DC
were not making the safety of NYC their first concern.

I also camped out in/near the City of Prague for 3 nights--
I actually slept outside for every night I was there, but
most nights I was on conference grounds.

--
For the benefit of some others on this list,
here is a rushed life story:
http://article.gmane.org/gmane.culture.discuss.our-culture-capitol/1
or
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OurCultureOurCapitol/message/1

Here are the main things I learned in NYC / this is my NYC
story:

(1) I came to NYC (August 16, 2001) because, after biking
around Europe I realized NYC (and LA) are the American big
cities; (2) To live with out a car in a US city and not be
in the minority, NYC is the only place to be. (3) I didn't
know what I wanted to do and anything I might want to do
(including dance), I could do there. (4) It has good
English-language libraries.

I stayed with a friend I had met in a hostel when I'd
visited NYC in Jan, and found a place after 2 weeks, but did
not get a long-term part-time job until December. I had
enough money saved that I was fine until then. I had
registered with many temp companies. I spent a lot of my
free time working on http://experienceart.org


Once I got a job I did get more involved with dance for a
while: Martha Graham and DanceSpace. Then I thought I wanted
to do something more cerebral and was planning to apply
to sociology programs. But after looking at programs,
writing my application statement:
http://experienceart.org/cleath/docs/dreamer

and reading _Getting What You Came For: The Smart Student's
Guide to Earning a Master's or a Ph.D._

I realized I did not want to do that.

Eventually I finished reading a sociology text I had been
reading, and found my way to Ken Wilber. His work led to
many places including to _The Life We Are Given_
http://itp-life.org

I had moved to the Hamilton Heights area of Manhattan, right
near an olympic sized swimming pool where I swam most every
morning and where I met many of my NYC friends. I also met
friends at Dancespace, and other cool NYC bizarre encounters
occurred.

Someday I hope to have my journals from that NYC time up on
http://experienceart.org, but that might be a while.

Another life-changing aspect of my NYC time was the
nyc-ishmael group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/nyc_ishmael/
Really, the first meeting, when I met a 40-year old activist
was what got to me. He reminded me I'd been getting soft,
trying to fit in and be content... While he'd stuck to his
cause and was far more radical.

I did both like NYC and not like it. I don't want to go
back, but I miss it. I like having room and being able to
have a forest to myself.

My friends there were also life-changing: Carmen, Joanna,
Sara, Rachel, Nathan, Peter...
I had come from a place (Monterey,CA) where there weren't so
many younger people... and here, for the first time since
college, I had a bunch of friends.

Sara showed me what the life of a successful musician is
like... I was blown away, and ended up practicing the
violin and joining some choirs, including a volunteer choir
at St Bart's Episcopal church on Park Ave, with an awesome
choir director and the opportunity to sing with some
professionals.

Joanna, Carmen, Nathan, Rachel, Sara all helped me change
how I thought others saw me-

Here are the NYC lessons I learned:

(1) The greatest influence to conform in my life was/is my
desire for relationship with another. With all my
relationships with women this was sort of painful, because
until it became clear that our relationships were not going
to be intimate long-term-heterosexual, I would be trying to
fit myself into some kind of scenario where I could envision
such a relationship working.

By the end of my NYC time, I'd realized that did not work. I
also realized I didn't fit in well with the "civilized"
world, and needed to look elsewhere for my place & friends.
So I spent time learning primitive skills and taking some
camping trips (in January).

I also seem to have gotten over women--Not that I'm not
attracted, but that, unlike many people, I'm no longer
entertaining desires of a future with a woman. I've taken as
my family all people and all things, and I wish primarily to
live in greater harmony with that family. Of course, as Ed
of Carbusters mentioned: "I think that too, and then someone
comes along and I forget it all..." But should someone else
come along, I'll be aware of my tendency to try to fit
myself into a "possible future with her" vision that makes
me uncomfortable.

(2) Being homeless is o.k. and understandable-- this from
Daniel Quinn's _My Ishmael_ and his naming of the "Tribe of
crow" (the tribe of those not participating in the expected
way in US society).

--
That's it for NYC!
back to the bike trip from NYC to DC. (I had ordered maps
from the trip from adventure cycling, but they did not
arrive before I left)

I took the commuter rail from NJ Penn Station to Belmar or
Pt Pleasant, NJ, and spent the first night in some woods
near Barnegat. The second day I made it to Cape May and
caught the ferry across, and spent that night in a very nice
spot, just across from where you get off the ferry.
The third day, it was drizzly and cold, and even started
hailing. I did not have a good rain jacket. I huddled in my
cold sleeping bag once trying to stay warm. I had to spend
that night in a $60 motel room, otherwise I would have
frozen. I think that was the day the Atkins Died guy died
from slipping on an icy sidewalk in New York.

The next day I made it to the north end of the orange metro
line (New Carrolton?) and caught the train home to west
falls church.


---

Goals in Northern VA:
I have been living with my parents since April 8 or so.
here was an affirmation at the beginning of that time
period:
(first formally affirmed in January, 2003) By November of
this year, I will have made a significant life change, that
may involve leaving NYC, but at the least will involve
transitioning to doing work on projects not my own for no
more than two hours / weekday (down from four hours /
weekday).

This affirmation has been realized. Currently
(2003-04-09-2352) I live with my parents, working for them
approx. 10 hrs / week, buying food and high-deductable
health insurance from savings that should last a year.

My goals were: to find an ecovillage in a warmer place to go
to, and to progress on two websites: experienceart.org, and
carfreeuniverse.org.

The second web site is about where I want it, though as I
write the server is down and has been down quite a lot
recently. And I will be heading to an ecovillage / monastery
in warmer places. I haven't worked on experienceart.org, and
may never!


At first, during my time in Northern Virginia, I was just
quite amazed to walk in the forest or to look out my window
and see trees and green, and to have things be reasonably
quiet. It took a while to get back into an exercise/ weight
routine, but I did.

It was not long before I found the ecovillage belize
project.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ecovillage-belize/
this got me into reading Derrick Jensen and John Zerzan,
which were shattering-
read http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ourcultureourcapitol/
for my reactions at the time.

That ended up not working out (the leader is mislead, I
think).


I also got a horrible case of poison Ivy during that time
from cleaning some vines of a tree (residue on the hair of a
dead vine got me). My face swolled up so, that I was blinded
and I had to get steroid shots.


For a time I was a bit dejected. (I wasn't sure about what
to do in the future, and wasn't happy about the present).

I had a hard time doing my 2 hrs/day housework for parents
(difficulty focusing on it-I didn't think it meaningful,
except to make me & them feel I was contributing, but as
with much other work, I did not personally value it).

I took off one evening and camped along the c&o canal, which
was wonderful.

I went to visit a marina I used to work at: Bellehaven
marina / saildc.com (ignore the pictures). It was wonderful.
Almost as I had left it in 1994, but Chip, the head dock guy
had become a yoga guru and kitesailor... from being sort of
a party- guy-- and Rolf had grown up and worked in the
office, and got beginnings of a pot belly... I told Chip it
was one of the few places in the world I knew that felt
right. He said I should go to India (or somewhere non-US).
He lent me a copy of _I Am That: Talks With Sri
Nisargadatta_

I told him about Derrick Jensen... and that I'd be back. I
haven't but I'll stop by before I leave...

I got a job tutoring a mom's friend's daughter-- that was a
challenge, and reminded me I'm not helpful tutoring stuff I
don't believe in... She's a teenager and was open to talking
with me, and said, "I'm a prep."

Eventually I got the idea of going off to work on a farm,
then on a horsepower farm, and then on a permaculture
ecovillage. I spent a week volunteering on a local organic
farm, which was a good thing to do.


I made arrangements to visit Earthaven ecovillage.
Http://earthaven.org

I sold some of my uneeded posessions on ebay.

I worked on http://carfreeuniverse.org

I took care of a neighbors dog.

I ordered maps for my bike trips.

Earlier I'd ordered copies of _Ecovillage Living_
_Communities Directory_, _Eurotopia_ (european communities
directory), and _How to make a forest garden_.

I later, once certain I'd leave on bike trip, got maps from
adventure cycling. (a big decision- deciding to stay in the
US and to bicycle here).

I found yoisim: http://yoism.org
and wrote
http://twiki.yoism.org/twiki/bin/view/Main/YoMonastic

I also got in contact with Madre Grande monastery.

I read books:
Derrick Jensen _language older than words_
_listening to the land_
_a culture of make believe_
John Zerzan: future primitive.

_Gaia's Garden_ (Toby Hemenway)
_This organic life_ (Joan dye Gussow) (I was planning to
start a garden)
_Going Home to eat_ Gary Nabhan
_Maria Rodale's Organic Gardening_

and just last night half of a james patterson thriller:
_the jester_

The survival books I ordered are:
us army survival manual
Desert survival skills (alloway)

I got a roadkill and practiced skinning and eating it.
(I need more practice and a sharper knife)

I practiced eating worms, and mulberries, dandelions,
plantain, bamboo, and catching rabbits, chipmonks, and rats
(no luck).

I got petersen's guide to edible plants.

I wrote some long emails on various lists:
http://carfreeuniverse.org/Members/colin/listoflists

and other web-related tasks.

I exercised. Weights, bike riding, running, but no
swimming!!


I encountered the twelve tribes on the mall last weekend:
http://yoism.org/pipermail/discussion/2003-July/001079.html

I went on one dc-critical mass bike ride.

I met some cool people at Potomac Vegetable Farms and talked
philosophy with some of them.


I found an apple tree to collect apples from.

I found a beautiful garden near an elementary school with
lettuce, beans, carrots, strawberries, that weren't being
harvested.

I also did some research into the Amish and conservative
mennonites, as well as the Twelve Tribes

---------------------------

Lessons learned from Time in Northern Virginia:

o Doing any kind of work, alone, that I do not believe in,
is tough.

o I should probably be eating animals, and quite possibly
raw animals.

http://www.westonaprice.org/myths_truths/myths_truths_vegetarianism.html

o There are plenty of opportunities for people who wish to
work outside on organic, even live-power farms:
http://attra.ncat.org/attra-pub/intern.html

o I do not want to work with computers (I knew this already)

o Health is what is most important to me: from a high school
health teacher:

We believe that Thomas Jefferson said it best when he so
eloquently stated that, "Exercise and recreation . . . are
as necessary as reading. I would rather say more necessary,
because health is worth more than learning." and M. Jocelyn
Elders when the former Surgeon General stated, "You can't
educate a child who isn't healthy and you can't keep a child
healthy who isn't educated."

My role models in health are: http://joycevedral.com,
http://www.frankzane.com/, one of my former dance teachers
in Carmel: Phoebe (Carmel Ballet Academy), and to some
extent Chip at Bellehaven.

I love most the days where I spend the whole day doing
vigorous exercise.

from my past, I know there is a balance in that as well, but
that is way better than spending the whole day with
computers.

---------------
Goals and affirmations for the coming four months:

o I shall learn how to obtain more of my food from the land
around me rather than buying it from stores. I will learn
how to catch and eat animals and plants.

o I shall learn how to earn my keep (if I ever need to)
doing physical labor. Probably by doing natural building and
permaculture. But by achieving affirmation 1, as well as
being comfortable sleeping outside, this may not be too
necessary.

o If I do computer work, it will be to further the carfree
cause: carfreecity.us, carfreeuniverse.org

o Community (working with likeminded people) is important.
Most often this community should have a "spiritual" base:
yoism.org, twelvetribes.com.

o I shall take time every day to do diverse exercises, with
a stretch cord if I do not have free weights, and even when
I'm biking on the road. I will also work on doing the ITP
Kata regularly and on envisioning the self and world I wish
to live in.

That's all. I'll let this sit and send it maybe Sunday PM.

--
It's sunday PM: and a few more notes:
I'll be considering alternatives to biking. It is a bit
foolish for a person who hates cars to be on roads in the
most unpleasant way with cars-- I should look into boating.

Most important for the future, in addition to living close
with nature is: listening to my body. Getting rid of the
computer. Dance.

I might also be able to learn from the 12 tribes ideas of
love as opposed to self-love, and authority.

I hope to be back in 4 months with an update!

best wishes,
or I should say, and feel,
deepest profoundest love and purpose,

Colin
http://carfreeuniverse.org